Hello, readers! My name is Agent Onion. I'm nine years old, I've worked at the Big Office since 1939, and seeing as I'm nonbinary I use the pronouns they/them/theirs.

As I hope you know from reading the bio, I am an Odd Squad journalist. Actually, I happen to be THE President of Journalists in Odd Squad, which is why I work at the Big Office. (There's not too many of us in the department - for some reason new recruits just aren't that interested in journalism...) Basically this means I coordinate Odd Reports all over the world, edit and publish the Odd Squad Newspaper, and my personal favorite, write the 24-hour spoof webizine The Agent Onion. Which is why you're here today.

I started this back in '65 as a side project to my main work. Back then it was in a weekly print form, about one page long front-and-back copied from a Ditto Machine. I'd send them out as inserts in the Odd Squad Newspaper as a sort of funnies page, but eventually it grew popular enough that I started distributing them separately and in a folded-over two-part format. (I forget what it's called, comment if you know.)

Usually I'd only write two or three spoof stories per issue, as this was long before the 24-hour news cycle, but this changed by the '90s when I started posting them online. I stopped sending weekly print copies and created a webizine for my spoof stories, by now called The Agent Onion. This meant I had to start writing more stories to keep people coming back to the site, and by 2011 I was publishing about three to five stories per day!

Millions of Odd Squad agents all over world now enjoy my spoof stories, I'm proud to say. But up until now, Odd Squad agents have been the only ones who could access the webizine. While that's still the case, I have decided to use Wattpad as a means of sharing the highlight spoof stories of my career with everyone, not just kids in Odd Squad. Since the original Ditto copies unfortunately haven't survived very well, most of what I'll be sharing here will be from the last twenty or thirty years. I understand many of you watch the primetime TV program about Odd Squad, so you may recognize many of the agents that these stories are about.

I hope you enjoy my selections, and be sure to comment your reactions!

A/N Also, if you want to submit ideas for what Agent Onion's headlines should be like, feel free to do so! I may not use them all, as I'll only update this once in a while, but I'll be happy for the suggestions. I definitely recommend looking up examples from The Onion!