Kinabukasan ng Linggo, pagkabukas pa lamang ni Moira ng pintuan ng kwarto niya ay nandoon na si Vince. Nakangiti itong naghihintay. Nahiya tuloy siya sa hitsura niyang hindi pa nagsusuklay at nakapaghihilamos.

"Bakit?" tanong niya.

"Have you thought about it yet? What's your answer?"

He was so eager to know. Naaalala tuloy niya si Kelvin dito.

"Agad-agad? Hindi ba pwedeng maghilamos muna?"

"All right." Hinila siya nito at dinala sa kwarto nito. Bigla siyang kinabahan. Umagang-umaga! "My bathroom's closer."

She knew that he just added that because she looks really uncomfortable being dragged into his room. She's never been there. She doesn't even go near it if there's no need to. It's his space and going there would feel like invading it.

But there she is now, standing near the sink, being told to wash her face so they could talk. Tulog pa ang diwa niya dahil alas sais pa lamang ng umaga.

"How long have you been waiting outside?" tanong niya kay Vince pagkatapos maghilamos.

"About half an hour."

"Sana kumatok ka man lang."

"I didn't want to wake you up. Baka sumama pa ang gising mo."

At kapag sumama ang gising niya, baka mabwisit lang siya rito at hindi niya ito sagutin. Tama nga naman.

"So? What's your answer?"

"After breakfast," sagot niya.

She walked out of his room and went downstairs.

"I'll help," he volunteered. When she raised an eyebrow, he added, "Anything to speed things up. The suspense is killing me."

Gusto niyang matawa. Mukha ngang kanina pa ito aligaga. Kung gaano ka-tense ang atmosphere kahapon ay sya namang gaan nang umagang iyon. Si Vince na ang nag-asikaso ng pagsasaing sa rice cooker habang siya naman ay nagluto ng itlog at bacon. Then she made coffee for the both of them.

"Gusto mo bang sunduin si Kelvin ng mas maaga?" tanong nito pagkatapos kumain. "Para makasimba tayo mamaya."

"Sige. Pero kailangan ko munang mamalengke. Wala na tayong kakainin mamaya. Gabi pa yata babalik si yaya."

"All right. But what's your answer? Sabi mo pagkatapos ng breakfast. We're already done eating," he said.

"After lunch," she told him. Vince grunted but didn't complain, because he doesn't want to piss her off. Pagkapaligo ay lumabas na silang dalawa para mamalengke. Vince insisted on bringing the car kahit sinabi na niyang sa palengke sila mamimili.

They just parked the car on one establishment nearby, saka sila pumunta sa public market. Hindi sanay si Vince sa palengke. Halata naman niyang ilag ito sa mga taong halos ay makabungguan na nito sa daan. And he was grimacing the whole time na nasa meat and fish section sila. But he's not complaining. Kahit ano'ng ipabuhat niya rito ay ayos lang.

Hindi rin naman siya sanay sa ganoon before third year college. Pasosyal kasi ang mommy at daddy niya. Madalas silang mag-dine out. Sa Supermarket palagi sila bumibili ng mga lulutuin. At minsan lamang nilang gawin iyon bilang pamilya dahil madalas na katulong ang bumibili noon para sa kanila.

Sinanay lamang niya ang sarili noong kasama na niya si Neri dahil kailangan niyang magtipid. And she's been like that ever since.

"Did you get everything you need?" he asked.

Sinilip niya ang dalawang malaking plastic bags at tumango.

"Yes. Uwi na tayo."

He looked so relieved.

—

Since it was almost lunch when they got back, nagluto na muna siya ng pananghalian tapos ay maya-maya nila susunduin si Kelvin kina Red para makapagsimba sila ng alas sais.

"What are you making?" Vince asked when he saw her cutting the cassave she bought earlier. Kamoteng-kahoy iyon. She's cutting them into thin strips.

"Minatamis na kamoteng-kahoy. Paborito kasi ni Kelvin."

"Kailangang ganyan kanipis?"

Tumango siya. Kanina pa nananakit ang kamay niya dahil kailangang sobrang nipis ng pagkakahiwa sa kamoteng-kahoy. Kelvin likes it that way. Para raw Piknik na matamis.

"Baka gusto mong tumulong," she told Vince, na nakapanuod lang.

"Okay." Kinuha nito ang kutsilyo mula sa kamay niya. "Pero may kapalit 'to."

She wrinkled her nose and watched him closely. She wants to make sure na tama ang paghihiwa nito. Pero napapadako ang mata niya sa mga braso nito. The sleeves of his shirt were rolled up and his muscles were flexing with every move.

Nag-iwas siya ng tingin bago pa ito makahalatang tinitingnan niya ito.

"Tawagin mo na lang ako kapag tapos ka na," sabi niya rito.

"Hey, what do I get for doing this?" he asked.

Naiiling siyang lumapit at patingki itong hinalikan sa pisngi. He smiled. He looked so darn cute, she was so tempted to give him another kiss. But she stopped herself. Napansin niyang simula nang makauwi sila ay hindi na ito nangulit pa tungkol sa sagot niya. It's as if he's just enjoying the moment. And it was almost scary how happy it made her.

She could get use to this life, but she can't allow herself to do so.

Vince called her down, a few minutes later. Tapos na ang ipinagagawa nito sa kanya. Sakto rin na malapit nang maluto iyong manok na nakalagay sa oven at yung kanin na nasa rice cooker. She decided to eat first, bago lutuin yung kamote. Tutal ay mamaya pa naman nila iyon dadalhin. Knowing Red, she'll probably like the food. Nalaman kasi niya noon kay Vico na noong nabubuhay pa raw ang mommy nito ay halos puro pang-probinsyang pagkain ang kinakain nito.

It was not until her mother died that she got used to eating fancy food. Laking probinsya kasi ang mommy nito, kaya mga lutong bahay ang alam.

And besides, Kelvin would probably want to eat it there, with them, especially with Kylie. Hindi nga niya sigurado kung gugustuhin pa nitong umuwi sa bahay nila.

During their lunch, they had a chance to catch up. Nagkwentuhan sila about the past. It's funny how those memories seemed lighter somehow. Hindi na masyadong masakit kapag inaalala.

"I didn't know that you have a sister."

"Pagka-graduate kasi ni ate ng college, nagpunta na kaagad sya sa states para doon magtrabaho. My parents were so proud. Kaya kahit ako yung nandito at nag-aaral, ang utak nila, nasa US, kay ate."

"Siguro naman naging proud din sila sa 'yo."

Umiling siya. "Never. My sister's always better. As in, sa lahat ng bagay. Okay lang din naman. Natanggap ko na yun, matagal na. That's why I didn't compete with her. Hinayaan ko na lang na sya lang ang mag-excel. I took a different course para hindi kami ma-compare. Ibang college nga din sana, kaso gusto nila, kung saan si ate nag-aral, doon din ako. Kaya no choice."

"Mabuti na lang pala no choice ka," he said with a smile.

She shrugged. "It was okay at first, until... well..."

"Until you met me?"

"No. It was actually better when I met you. It's when the rejections started that I..." She shook her head. "Let's not talk about it."

"Why not?"

"I don't want to get upset."

His face became serious. "Does it still affect you that much?"

"Sinusubukan ko namang huwag magpaapekto. Minsan lang talaga, nalulungkot ako kapag naaalala ko. Para kasi akong tanga dati."

"I'm sorry."

Pinilit niyang ngumiti, pero inaalala pa lamang niya iyong mga nangyari dati, naiiyak na naman siya. It's not the memory itself that hurts. Mas nasasaktan siya sa naaksayang panahon. And she doesn't think that any amount of apology can make it okay.

"Okay lang. Lipas na 'yon e. Minsan lang, hinihiling ko na sana hindi na lang kita nakilala dati. Siguro baka naging masaya ang college life ko. I might have gone to the dance, won the pageant and became somebody, hindi yung pathetic na babaeng habol nang habol sa 'yo."

 Tumayo si Vince at nilapitan siya. Inakbayan siya nito at hinalikan ang tuktok.

"Hey... okay, let's not talk about it anymore. I don't want to see you cry."

"I'm sorry, Vince. Ikaw kasi, you brought it up." She sniffed. "You know, I sometimes wish na sana ngayon lang tayo nagkakilala, so there's nothing bad to look back to. Walang bad history. Walang scar. Ang hirap din pala ng ganito."

—

Dahil sa pag-uusap nilang iyon, nawalan na tuloy siya ng ganang kumain. Kahit anong pilit ni Vince ay ayaw nya na. He felt bad and tried to make up for it. Nakonsensya naman siya, so she tried to cheer up. Effective talaga kapag kasama si Kelvin sa usapan. So they looked through his photo albums together. His baby pictures made her feel better. And Vince looked so happy seeing those.

Nang maalala niya iyon ay pinag-iisipan pa niya kung ipakikita niya iyon kay Vince. She knows that it's a bit selfish of her to hide those from him, pero the past few weeks had been so unpredictable and inconsistent. Iniisip niyang baka pagsisihan lamang niya if she lets herself invest too much in their vague relationship. But when he confessed last night, she somehow felt secure.

She even showed him some CDs (ang ilan ay naka-VHS pa). Nandoon yung mga na-record nilang baby moments ni Kelvin. She let him watch those habang siya naman ay niluto na ang minatamis na dadalhin nila kina Red.

Nang matapos siya sa pagluluto ay sinilip niya ito sa sala. Halos nakadikit na ang ilong nito sa TV. She wanted to call him out and laugh, but something stopped her. He wasn't moving. Nakatitig lamang ito sa screen. She then realized that he was already tearing up.

A few months ago, Vince had no idea that he has a son. But now that he knew, he's doing everything to make up for the lost time. It was hard for him to watch those videos, knowing that those moments have already passed and he wasn't there at the time, because he doesn't know.

He was quiet during the ride to Red's house. He didn't say anything about the videos. Tahimik lang ito kaninang pumunta sa kwarto nito para magbihis nang sabihin niyang aalis na sila. Nang dumating ang katulong ay saka sila umalis.

Kelvin was happy to see them, but sad at the same time because it means that he already has to go home. Kylie didn't help. The poor girl began crying when she realized that her cousin's not going to stay for the night.

Akala mo ay hindi na magkikitang-muli ang dalawa kung makapagyakapan ang mga ito.

"Baby, let's go. We'll be late for church," she told her son.

"I already went to church earlier," sagot nito. "Can't we stay until... nine?"

"Magkikita pa naman kayo ni Kylie."

"Can I see her again tomorrow?"

Bumuntong-hininga siya.

"Please, mommy?"

Nagkatinginan silang dalawa ni Red. Ngumiti ito at ginulo ang buhok ni Kelvin.

"He's very sweet."

"Ayaw nang maghiwalay ng dalawa," puna nya.

Red laughed. "Oo nga e. Hanggang sa pagtulog, magkatabi 'yang dalawang 'yan. Mabuti na nga lang at hindi naglikot si Kylie."

Tumingin si Vince sa orasan. "We should go," he told them. "Malapit nang mag-start ang misa."

"Daddy, later!" nakangusong sabi ni Kelvin.

"Tell you what, since nakasimba naman na si Kelvin, balikan nyo na lang sya rito after ng mass," Troy suggested.

"Yes!" Kelvin agreed. "What uncle said."

"Is it okay with you?" tanong ni Vince sa kanya.

"May magagawa pa ba tayo kung ayaw nya pang sumama?" pabalik niyang tanong.

So they ended going to church together. Binalikan na lamang nila si Kelvin pagkatapos ng misa. He didn't make it easy for them to persuade him to go home. Doon pa tuloy sila nakapaghapunan. When Vince firmly told him that they need to go dahil maaga pa ang pasok ng mga ito kinabukasan, doon lamang napilitang umuwi si Kelvin.

Kylie cried. Gusto nitong sumama. It was heartbreaking to see those two kids sad, pero kailangan naman nilang umuwi.

"Don't worry. Before you know it, Friday na ulit. You can see her again by then."

Humalukipkip lamang ito sa backseat.

"Do you want to play? Here's the phone."

He shook his head sternly.

She sighed. Si Vince naman ay pasulyap-sulyap sa anak through the rearview mirror. Kelvin kept quiet until they arrived at the house. Pagkaparada ng sasakyan ay agad itong bumaba at tumakbo papasok ng bahay.

They followed him to his room, kung saan naabutan nila itong nakadapa sa kama.

"Baby..."

Pinaupo niya ito.

"Are you still upset?" Vince asked.

Kelvin nodded, simangot pa rin ito.

Nginitian niya ang anak at saka sinabing, "I think I have something that might cheer you up."

"What is it?"

"Good news."

"Are we going back to Kylie's?"

"No."

Ngumuso ito. "Then what's so good about it?"

She sighed and reached for Vince's hand. Kumunot naman ang noo nito, naguguluhan din kung ano'ng gusto nyang iparating.

Nginitian niya ito, saka niya binalingan si Kelvin. "Sinasagot ko na ang daddy mo."

"Really?" hindi makapaniwalang-tanong ni Vince.

She nodded. "So?" tanong niya sa anak.

Simangot pa rin ito, at nakakunot ang noo.

"What's wrong? Aren't you happy?"

"What's new, mommy? You're already together," he said and went back to sulking.

—

Sorry kung ngayon lang ulit. Mahirap kasing mag-isip. Utang na loob, pahinga na muna sa comments na "Update po. Bitin." at baka mag-away tayo. Tandaan, ongoing equals bitin. Sorry na rin sa mga typo o lapses sa grammar, antok na antok na 'ko.