5-Barber Joe
"Without thinking, Liza used her son's new name, "Peep wake up and get dressed!" He was sprawled out snoozing and drooling on the plush green sofa. She pulled off the brightly colored, well worn afghan and tugged on his legs. "Come on Peep we gotta get moving. After we go to the barber we gotta pick up Oskar at soccer practice." She gasped when she saw the spotless foyer and pristine kitchen. "You out did yourself kiddo! I think we could eat off the linoleum floor!"
Gustav sat up and stretched. His mother praising his cleaning? Still half asleep he shuffled into the kitchen. When he saw everything put away, the sparkling floors and shiny appliances he said, "Whoa..."
Liza replied, "I know right? Good job Peep."
Gustav was wondering who this Peep was and why he cleaned their kitchen. "Who's Peep?"
She snickered, "You are silly. Now go get dressed. We gotta leave in 2 minutes."
Gustav thought he must still be dreaming. His house was immaculate, "spit spot!" as his grandma would say. He yelled back to Liza, "Hey ma! It wasn't me!"
While still admiring her spotless kitchen Liza mocked, "Yeah, yeah you didn't make the mess and you didn't clean it... Hurry we gots to goooooo!"
As Liza let Taz out to do his business she saw the enormous pile of food on the back porch."Now that's the Peep I know and love!" Taz began munching on some mushy Lucky Charms. "Taz no! Bad boy... Haven't you learned your lesson?" As Liza swept the food she mumbled, "This is how you get raccoons..."
As she finished dumping the dried goods into the trashcan Gustav meandered downstairs. He wore baggy jeans, a Bart Simpson tee shirt and black chucks."Ma take my picture!"
"We're late Peep." Liza hurried to the front closet and pulled out an olive green beanie. She tossed it to her son. "Peep put this on!"
"Ma! Why are you calling me Peep?"
"That's a silly question--it's your name, it's always been you're name ." She pulled the beanie over Peep's head to hide his hair.
Peep pulled off the hat. "Since when? Since when is Peep my name?"
She yanked the beanie over his ears. "Since forever..."
"Ma, you're losin' it!" He took off the hat and threw up on the top shelf in the closet. Now would ya please take my pic? If you're gonna take me to the beauty parlor I wanna remember it."
She caved. "Okay, stand against the door." She took out her flip phone and said, "Smile!" He made a serious face like a rock star villain in a comic book. "Come on Peep, smile for Mama!"
"Ok, but take a serious picture too." She did. With that Liza and Peep were out the door.
----
Peep sat in a beat up, cheap maroon, barber's chair at Barber's and Sons. Joe, an older Italian gentleman, pumped up the seat to better reach the boy. Joe has been robotically cutting hair day in and day out for decades. Although he'd been in America for 30 years he still had a pretty thick accent. "So, whadda we doin' today? A cut and a shave?" He chuckled at his own joke. Then getting a good look at Peep's head of bi-colored pink and black hair he asked, "Whatsa matta kid? You fall in a can of paint-eh?" He pulled up Peep's hair and examined it more closely. Never had he seen a dye job like this before, so absolutely thorough and even. "No amature coulda done dis Mrs. Womack. Dis is da work of a professional." Combing through Peep's hair he blathered, "And da culla--it's so pink! And only on half his head would ya look at dat?..."
Liza stood by nervously. "Never mind Joe, can you fix it?"
Joe wrapped a black plastic cape around Peep. "Can I fix? Don't chu worry Mrs. Womanck..." He smacked his chest covered in many chains. "I canna fix anything!"
Peep didn't make a peep. He sat there mourning, what would soon be, the loss of his superhero hair.
Joe spoke to Liza, "I'll tella you what I'ma gonna do... First Ima gotta lifta the pink culla out-a wit some culla removah." Liza nervously chewed her nails. "Don't worry mama. Joe's gonna take-a care-a dis..." He reached under the cabinet and came out with a red bowl, a pink packet, a bottle of white stinky stuff and a red brush. He used a pointy black comb and brush to paint the stinky-stuff on each pink layer of Peep's vibrant pink hair. Once it was saturated Joe said, "Now-a we wait."
Peep sat there for 45 minutes. The stinky stuff burned his scalp. The burning turned to intense itching. He scratched his head.
Liza sat in an adjacent unused barber chair. She warned, "Don't touch it Peep."
Peep complained, "But it itches and burrrrrrrrrns!" Scratch, scratch, scratch.
Finally a timer when off. Ding! Joe joked, "Da pizza is-a ready!" No one laughed but Joe. "Okay little fella, now we wash." Peep walked over to the sink. Joe put a booster seat on the chair. Peep climbed up then laid his head back while Joe lathered his head with cloyingly sweet conditioner. Then he rinsed. Joe's eyes got as big as pizza pies and he said, "Well I'll be-a monkey's uncle!"
Liza rushed over. "What, what is it? Did his hair fall out? You left it in too long—I told you it was too long!"
Peep reached for his hair and felt it. "Whew! Still there."
Joe showed her. "No, look..." He pulled Peep to a sitting position.
Peep's hair was just a vibrant pink as it was before. It didn't lift. It didn't lighten. It was still as gloriously pink as ever! Maybe even more so!
Liza gasped.
Joe stuttered, "It's... uh... nothing... " He signaled for Liza to speak with him privately. "Mama can I speak-a to you just-a moment?"
Peep piped up, "What's wrong guys? It's my head!" Peep jumped down and ran to the mirror. Happily he stated, "Still pink! Wow..."
Joe continued, "Mrs. Womack, we canna do one of two tings... I canna shava his head or... dye it all black."
Peep overheard Joe and exclaimed. "No! Don't shave my head! Dye it black pleeeeeease."
Liza sighed and said, "Okay dye it black. Black hair is better than half pink... I guess..."
Once again Joe got busy rummaging around under his cabinet. He pulled out another bowl, new plastic gloves, another brush, a tube of color and a bottle of developer. He mixed the tube and the developer in the plastic blue bowl and stirred with the pointy side of the brush.
It burned Peep's nose. It had an acrid smell of tar, and ammonia mixed with his Aunt Diane's cheap perfume. Yuck! The mixture wasn't black but rather a deep purple. Peep felt like a science experiment.
Liza noticed the purple color too. "Uh... his hair's gonna be black right?"
Joe draped a new cape around Peep and said, "Black yes. All black." He laughed nervously, Then he layered the color until Peep's entire head of hair was saturated in dark purple goo. "Now we wait-a." Joe set the timer for 50 minutes. Then another customer came in for a cut and a shave.
Peep made faces at himself in the mirror. It seemed like an eternity. He wished he had his sketchbook so he could at least draw. "Ma, I'm starving."
"It won't be long now Peep." She gave him a couple of stale shiny red lollipops in a filmy clear bowl at Joe's station.
"Ma, why do you keep calling me Peep?"
Liza scrunched her brow. "I don't know. Somehow Peep is meant to be your name."
Peep nodded in agreement. Somehow it felt right. It fit him, like his broken in black Chucks with the pictures and words he drew all over the white parts.
Ding! The timer went off. Joe hurried over. " This is-a gonna be nice-a. You gonna looka like Elvis Presley eh?"
One for the money two for the show, three to get ready...
For the second time that day Peep laid his head back in the sink while Joe ran warm water onto his scalp. Afterwards Liza and Joe simultaneously gasped.
Liza put her hand over her mouth.
Joe put his hand over his heart and exclaimed, "Mama Mia!"
Peep asked, "What's wrong guys? Is it purple?"
Liza said, "No worse!"
Still dripping wet Peep ran over to the mirror. Joe dyed his hair jet black alright—but only the blond side took the color! The pink side didn't change at all. It remained as shockingly pink as ever!
Overjoyed Peep exclaimed, " Wow! Black and Pink look even better. Thanks Mr. Joe! Ma, pay the man we gotta bounce." Peep bounded for the front door.
Best day ever!
-End of Chapter 4-
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