A/N
And now, an inspirational message from Ketei.

Naruto : Your hair looks so funny now, Ketei-chan! It's so short, it looks like a guys!

Ketei : You can make fun of me, you can make fun of my hair. But if you make fun of my hair, I'll fucking stab a bitch. (references...)

This has been an inspirational message from Ketei.

----------

When I got to naruto's house, I started knocking on the door quickly.

Time passes by so fast, it's already dark outside.

"I swear I'm not a masked murderer! " I said and continued knocking like a crazy person.

Naruto opened the door slowly.

"Ketei? " he said.

I swung the door open and glomped him.

"I kinda missed you stupid! How'd your day go! Mine was quite eventful! " I said.

"Ketei... Can't... Breathe... Help... " he whezzed.

I let go of him and shut the door.

"So, what do we do? Watch horror movies? Learn yoga? Do each others hair! " I said.

"I won't let you touch my hair, Ketei-chan! " naruto shouted.

I pulled the scissors from earlier out of my pants pocket and lunged straight for naruto.

"I will defeat you and claim my trophy! " I said and chuckled evilly as I snipped the scissors.

-21 minutes later-

"Ketei-chan, you didn't have to cut off some of my hair! " naruto shouted.

"But I did! I won! " I shouted and tackled him again.

"Fatality! " I said and started wrestling with  him.

"I'm gonna win, Ketei! I'm way better at this than you!" naruto said as he put me in a headlock.

"Ow! Stupid, that really hurts! " I said and began fake sobbing.

He instantly let go.

"I'm so sorry, Ketei-chan. Did I hurt you? " he said.

I kicked him in the gut and put him in a headlock.

"You just got trolled, stupid! "

Soon, I had pinned him to the ground and was drawing on his face with a marker.

"Guess what, stupid-kun?" I said.

"What? "

"This has been really fun. " I said quietly.

"Are you happy, Ketei? " he said.

"Nope. But I'm not sad either. " I said and got off him.

"I feel a bit tired, stupid. I'm gonna go sleep on the roof. " I said.

"The roof? " he questioned, as he tried to wash the marker off his face using the sink.

Not gonna work naruto.

I'm a professional prankster.

I use a sharpie.

"Why the roof? " he asked.

I laughed.

"It's more fun. " I said and climbed out through his window and onto the roof.

I laid down and sighed.

This day WAS pretty eventful.

I wonder how tomorrow will be...

+Dream+

I woke up in a place I have never been before.

I looked to the side of me to see a panda bear sleeping in my bed.

I poked it cautiously and it sat up slowly.

"My name is Kon. I am a panda bear. " he said as blue stuffed animals appeared around him.

"Well, I sorta guessed that." I said and backed away slowly from the creepy talking panda bear that apparently had the power to make seemingly random objects pop up from nowhere behind and around him.

Now there was a unicorn flying around his head and he had a gold chain and shades on.

"So what do wanna tell me, you mystic - probably high as hell - panda bear? " I said, feeling highly uncomfortable.

"A threat is coming soon. Beware the evil that blocks out the good's light. " Kon said.

"So someone wants to kill me? That's old news. I know at least four people in konohna that have me on their hit lists. " I said.

Now a blonde elf with a sword is dancing on his shoulder.

"You know they won't do anything. It just makes them feel better. " he said.

"True. " I said.

The awkwardness for me was getting to the point where I felt like I was about to choke on air.

"So... Kon? What are you doing, hanging out in my dreams? " I said.

It suddenly got dark in the room and I wanted to grab a soft plushy animal but the only soft plushy animal in this werid floating room is Kon and he's creeping me out.

"I was exiled from another world and simply worked my way into your unguarded subconscious."

"English motherfucker! Do you speak it? " I said.

"I'm a ghost like you. I needed a body. Yours is a body that is... Coming back. It was easy to come inside. " he said.

"Wait, doesn't that mean any werid ghost thing like you can waltz into my head at any time! " I said.

"No. I am a protecter. The moment I decided to stay here, I knew I'd be paying some type of rent. I keep ghosts out if you keep me in. " he said.

"You want to be brain roommates?" I said.

"Figuratively speaking. Yes. " he said.

"Well, okay. Just don't turn your music up too loud and no pets."

"Alright. "

I heard someone calling my name.

"Ugh. Gotta go Kon. The human alarm clock is trying to wake me up. " I said.

"Peace... " he said and expolded into a rainbow of butterflies and pizza.

-End Of Dream/Next Day-

I punched naruto in the face the moment I opened my eyes.

"Why stupid? I was having fun talking to the psychedelic prophet panda bear that resides within my dreams!"

"Ketei, you were about to fall off the roof! And your snoring woke me up! " naruto said.

I realised I was halfway hanging off the side of a building.

"I've been in worse situations...." I said and got off the side of the roof.

-21 minutes later-

"I don't know what I've been told!
But dat bitch acts so cold!
Mess with me, you won't have an ass to beat!
I'm super hot gangsta, learned it all from the street! " I sang as I started my morning jog throughout town at the good ole time of six in the morning.

I'm trying to come up with a song that describes me and sasuke's friendship.

Well, I wouldn't even call it that...

How about "You don't kill me, I won't kill you" kind of buddies?

Or maybe it's a I-hate-you-but-I'll-deal-with-you-ship.

Somewhere along the lines of that.

Oops. I stopped singing...

"I'm awesome, so awesome!
Wouldn't you agree, I'm awesome!
Awesome, so awesome -"

"Shut up, it's six in the morning! " a voice shouted, interrupting me.

I growled.

"Bitch, you better shut the fuck up before you get smacked the fuck up! " I shouted back.

"Really! I find this hard to believe!"

"Come out where I can see you, or are you too much of a wuss to meet me face to face!" I said.

I saw someone come outside from one of the many buildings around me and instantly recognized who it was.

It's the blonde from yesterday...

It looks like I just woke her up judging from the kitten pajamas and bedhead.

She walked up to me quickly and then stopped with her hands on her hips.

*Cough* trying too hard *Cough*

"Can you shut up! Everyone in this entire village probably thinks you're a bitch now. " she said.

Really now...

I started laughing hysterically and she glared at me.

"Why are you laughing? " she said.

I tried to calm myself down.

"Because... " I whezzed out.

"I don't care! I don't care if they think I'm a bitch, I don't care if the hokage thinks I'm a bitch, and I don't care if you think I'm a bitch! Because you know what! I am a bitch! And I'm not just that... I'm THE bitch! " I shouted.

"What's going on? " I heard a telltale emotionless voice say.

He's right behind me...

I turned around to be met with the glare of the century.

"What's going on is self reflection, red head! " I said.

He just stared.

I sighed.

Is this just gonna be a repeat of yesterday?

"I want to fight you. " he said.

Apparently so...

"I can't fight you right now. I'm too busy trying to build up enough muscle mass so at the chunin game of death I will not look like a complete wimp. " I said.

"You're going to be in the chunin exams? " he said.

"Yeah. Got special permission or whatever. You can fight me then. " I said.

"Okay. " he said and walked away.

Well, isn't he blunt...

"I'm going to fight you too! " I heard the blonde say.

I turned around.

"In the chunin exams, I'll keep an eye out for you." she said.

I smirked.

"Bring it on, bitch. " I said.

------

"I'm so ready, believe it! "

"Shut up, naruto! "

"Stop acting like idiots."

Now, I am here along with my feuding teammates.

I haven't really talked much since I got here. My throat is still sore from the combination of singing, shouting, and jogging from this morning.

"Shut up, forehead! "

"I'm going to destroy you! "

Can't they just shut up? I'm getting a headache...

Wait, maybe I should add to the chaos.

Good idea, me.

"Hey, Sasuke?" I said.

He looked up at me.

"What? "

"I just realised something about your name. "

"What did you realise? "

"Well, if you split Sasuke in two you get sas and uke. This brings me to the conclusion that you are a sassy uke." I said.

His face went completely red.

Hehehe.

"Ooh, seems I hit it on the nail."

"I'm going to kill you, Ketei. "

"Stupid! Your uke boyfriend over here is getting mad because you're the seme! " I shouted.

"We're not together, Ketei! " naruto shouted.

"Could've fooled me!"

"What did I do to deserve such a team. " Kakashi said as he arrived.

"Says the dude who reads porn in front of twelve year olds!" I shouted.

"It's called passionate reading. You find something you like and then you read it. " he said.

"I think you're getting the fucking words passionate and obsessed confused. " I said.

"Ketei, can you stop cussing. "

I stood up from my highly comfortable seat on the ground and puffed my chest out like I was about to recite a speech that would send an army out to war.

"Are my words hurting you, Kakashi?  Does shit break your arm? Does bitch twist your ankle? Does fuck mess with your mental health? No? Okay, then. "

Best speech ever.

IGN says it's a 10/10.

Rave reviews.

"Ketei, when are we going to stop arguing? "

"Right now! " I shouted and sat back down.

Ugh. What has gotten into me lately?

I've been trying to pick a fight with everyone today...

I've just had a lot on my mind lately. Yoari, my memories, this town, people in general...It's all been stressing me out.

I sighed.

All of these things weighing me down and I don't want to tell anyone cause I'd only be adding to their problems is making me snappy, I can feel it.

And the chunin exams...

I feel like I'll be a liability to the team. I'm not good at anything besides complaining and arguing. I'm on sakura's level really.

Why did the hokage let me participate anyways?

What does he know that I don't?

I just want to feel important to the people around me. I wanna show them something awesome that will make them go, "Look at her! Isn't she amazing! Such a badass! ".

You know, something like that.

I want people's rescept but my loud mouth has a tendency in the way.

The only people I know of that have looked past that and seen who I really am have been Naruto, Itachi, and Yoari.

I wonder why people can't see that I'm a good person or at least a person trying to be good?

Remember your mouth Ketei? Your tendency to annoy the people around you? The fact that you like to act like you don't care about anyone but yourself when really... You could care less about your own safety.

Yep, all of that.

"Hey, Ketei? You okay? " Sakura said.

I nodded quietly and tried to look normal as possible.

She smiled.

"Okay. I'm glad. " she said.

Great, she brought it!

I looked away from my team and towards the sky.

That beast... It lives in Naruto.

I spoke to it.

It said it killed my clan. With my help.

What was it talking about?

It's so confusing... I was searching for my mom, not looking destroy her or anyone!

I'm not like that or am I?

Am I really that evil?

-----

Important A/N
Two authors notes in one chapter!
I must be breaking some fanfiction law out there. Now, my updates are probably gonna be a bit longer for a while because of two things. One, all of my naruto was deleted from my computer as my computer frizzled out and died the other day. So all of the narutoverse I am either remembering from memory or clips on YouTube. Two, I have recently discovered a drug (web comic) called Homestuck and I'm addicted. I can't stop reading it!  But anyways, I've decided I'm gonna ask you guys a question after every chapter. Why? You seem pretty cool and I like to ask random pointless questions. You don't have to answer if you don't wanna to any of them by the way. I'm not gonna be one of those authors that hold their own books hostage with feedback being the ransom.
The question is : Who is your favorite anime character in any anime?
Mine's Okabe from Steins; Gate.
Bye for now :) - bluelion2