- memory -

I walk into mommy's room neverously.

It's my birthday and she hasn't said anything about it today. She's just been crying in her room all day.

I run over to her bed and shake her gently.

"Mommy? " I ask and she moves a little underneath the covers.

"Yes? " she croaks out.

"It's my birthday, today. "I say quietly.

I hear a faint sob.

"I'm sorry Ketei. This just hasn't been a good day for mommy. " she said.

"Is that man coming back? " I asked.

"Yes. He said you're a superb candidate for treatment. You're leaving... For good... tommorow."

I'm not going to cry, I tell myself.

"Mommy, will he fix me? " I asked.

She pulled the covers away from her face.

"He's going to fix both of us. He's going to save us, baby. " she says and hugs me tightly.

"You're growing up so fast. Six years old already. Started ninja academy at five. You're so smart, Ketei. You're gonna grow up and do big things, amazing things, I just know it. " mommy says and kisses my forehead.

Then the memory changes.

I'm at school.

I'm five years old.

"Ketei! " the teacher shouts.

I raise my hand.

"Yes, sensi? " I say.

"Perfect scores again. Great job. You could be a true shinobi one day if you keep making grades like theses. " he says and I smile.

The other kids just look at me with disgust.

I'm the smart kid.

The weirdo who's never made a bad grade.

I could feel myself start to cry.

No, Ketei.

Don't cry.

Hold it all in.

Don't let them see you at your weakest.

That's what they want and I won't give it to them.

"Thank you, sensi. That means a lot. " I say trying to keep a smile on my face.

After school I stopped at the park.

I knew I was just supposed to go straight home after school but I wanted to play like the other kids.

I swung on my swing and laughed.

I feel like I'm flying.

"I'm a bird! " I shouted as I swung higher and higher.

"What are you doing! " I hear someone shout.

I immediately stop swinging.

"What was that? " I wondered aloud.

I could hear somebody screaming.

I got up from my swing and ran to where I heard the voices coming from.

I was shocked when I saw a very large man yelling at a little girl who was crying on the ground near the slide.

"How could you betray your clan! You wretched child! We should've never taken you in! " the man yelled.

I saw the man pull back his hand as if he was going to slap her and the girl cringed.

This isn't right!

I ran in front of the girl and took the slap for her.

"What..." the man said, shocked.

"Stop hurting her! " I yelled at him.

I felt a tug on my skirt and looked down to the little girl crying.

"Don't. You'll just make it worse. " she said sadly.

I looked the man in the eyes.

"Get away from her. " I said darkly.

"Do you even know who she is! " he shouted at me.

"No. I don't. But no one deserves to be beaten down without a chance to fight back. Go beat up someone that can actually defend themselves, you coward. " I seethed through my teeth.

He looked closer at me.

"Wait, are you... " he said.

"Yes. Now, go away before I infect you. " I said.

He took off, running faster than the wind.

I helped the little girl up and brushed the dirt off her face.

"Are you okay? " I ask.

She nods her head yes.

"What's your name? " I say.

"Yoari. " she said.

I grabbed her hand and smiled.

"Do you wanna go play together! " I asked, excitly.

She nods yes neverously.

"But, Umm... Are you going to infect me? " she asks.

I burst out laughing.

"That's just a stupid rumor. What I have isn't contagious but I like to pretend that it is to protect myself from people like that guy. " I said.

She smiled.

"Gomen." she says and grabs my hand.

"T-Thank you for standing up for me, Umm... " she says.

"Ketei. That's my name. " I answer.

She smiles.

"Ketei. " she said.

Then the memory changed.

I'm twelve.

I'm in a dark room.

There's only one light and it's a candle on the table next to me.

I'm chained to a chair.

"Tell me how it works! " a man shouts at me.

"How what works? " I say.

"Don't play dumb with me. We both know you know the secret to how the shiju works. Just tell me and I'll make it hurt less. " he said.

I laughed.

"Isn't that what all the guys stay the first time? " I said.

He punches me so hard that one of my teeth fall out, hitting the concrete floor.

"Now tell me! " he yelled.

I burst out laughing.

"This is so awesome! " I shouted.

He kicked me on the leg.

"Are you insane! " he screamed.

"Clinically, mothafucker! " I screamed back.

He grabs some of my hair.

"I will break you. " he says darkly.

I spit on his face.

"Try your best, but it's a little hard to break something that's already broken. "

The memory changes.

I'm in a dark cell.

It's been a month since they took me here.

A month since that asshole kicked one of my teeth out.

That shit hurts.

I rubbed my jaw.

They barely feed me here and the only time they talk to me is when they're interrogating me for answers.

I laugh.

They'll never get them.

I have no weaknesses that they can mess with.

I hear the pitter patter of shoes on the stone floor.

I wonder who's come to visit me today...

I looked up through the bars and nearly threw up.

He's holding an unconscious Yoari.

"What have you done to her! " i scream, standing up.

He laughs.

"Nothing. Yet. "

He opens the door and throws her in.

"I'm going to kill you! " I shouted.

He snickers.

"You're so funny. " he says and walks away.

I run over to Yoari and try to shake her awake.

"Yoari! " I yell.

They found my weakness...

I hold her tightly.

"Wake up. " I choke out.

She moves a little.

"Ketei-chan? " she murmurs.

"Yes? " I say.

"It's all my fault. All my fault... " she says.

I push some of her hair back.

"It's nobody's fault. If we're gonna blame anyone, let's blame me. I'm the one they want. " I said.

"Ketei, did you tell them? " she asked.

"No. And I never will. " I said.

"We're going to die, aren't we? " she says with a smile.

"No. I'll never die. I'm invincible! " I say.

She laughs.

"You're so optimistic, Ketei. "

"I wasn't given life to just waste it. Even when we're trapped in a dark creepy cell with people outside who want to painfully torture and kill us. Look on the bright side, we still have.... "

I looked around.

"We still have umm.... " I thought aloud.

"Friendship? " Yoari says.

I smile.

"Yeah. Friendship. " I say.

The memory changes again.

I look at him and he looks at me.

" I think I'm in love with you. " he says.

I can't breathe because I'm laughing so hard.

" I think I'm in hate with you. " I say.

He walks over to me and holds my hand.

"Why can't you see I'm telling you the truth? " he says.

"Why can't you see I'm not fucking interested!" I shout.

"I will make you fall in love with me again. " he says.

"How you gonna pull off that magic trick? " I say.

He kisses me and I bite his lip.

"Ouch! " he shouts and backs away, holding his bleeding lip.

"Do it again and I'll bite out your tongue!" I shout.

"Why can't you see I'm only doing what's best for you?" he says.

He unchains me.

"I-I'll even let you go. We'll run away together! " he says.

I smirk.

"You just made the second biggest mistake of your life. " I say.

I headbutt him, knocking him out.

"You don't unchain your enemy. " I say and take all his weapons and strap them to my belt.

"The first is to always make sure you don't ever kiss a pissed off bitch like me. " I said and walked out of the room.

Then the memory changed into a different one.

I stab her.

Over and over.

It's the only way.

The only way to avenge them.

I'm so sorry.

"I thought we were friends... " she says.

I stab her again.

"Me too." I say.

I stab again.

"You betrayed me! " I screamed.

She smiles, clutching her bleeding stomach.

"No. I never betrayed you. Ever. He did. " she says, with truth in her voice.

Oh no.

S-she's telling the truth?

What have I done?

I can save her, I tell myself.

I can kill him.