It's Monday back to school. I didn't even look at anyone when I walked in I just walked to the bathroom and just stared at my reflection for 20 minutes until someone came in. "Oh hey!" I look towards the door and there stands, Austin. "I don't know what's going on with you but you're pretty much stupid for not going to the heights. You got an letter and everything." I just roll my eyes at that. I don't care about the heights. I'll never fit in. I'm comfortable down below. "Whatever" I turn on the water to wash my hands. He leans against the door. "I really don't know if they miss you or not but they're having a great time up there." Like if I care. "I don't care what they do. It's not really my business. I'm fine in the middle. People like you who are up there think you're entitled to everything and people should listen to what you say. Fuck you. I live by own rules." He just looks at me and leaves. Ok. I didn't really curse that much until now but I need to not curse. I should stop standing in here looking at my reflection. People must think right now I've been pooping for a long time. I'm glad I have art first period. One of the many things I enjoy. I'm pretty great at art, I think. Miss Lola likes them so I think I'm great. "Morning class. Today we're going to paint our feeling. Put everything into the canvas. Can you guys do that? I believe in you. I always do. Just let your feelings flow into... The canvas. K? Ok Start." Yeah I really don't know what I'm doing but I wanna get my hands dirty. I really do. I'm just putting paint. I don't care how it comes out. It's just gonna to happen. Paint. "Aha!" I don't khow but Miss Lola is standing right next me. "This is amazing. Randy. I like this. What are you going to call it It's a dark sky, a tree and deer." It's boring. "Lost...." "Mhm... This is an example of what's feeling." Miss Lola taps me on the shoulder. "Randy is everything ok? Because I heard about the outburst. Are you alright?" Of course she heard. Everyone knows. I don't care though. "Yeah I'm fine." "Ok then" and she goes back to the class. I finish my painting with loads of details, including stars. We like woah factor.
As I'm walking out I spot Kandy across the room staring at me. We're not friends anymore so I'm feeling uncomfortable right now, really. I hope this day goes by fast I'm just not in the mood.

It's lunch. The time I've been dreading right now. It's where it began. I'm really scared to push open them doors. Right now I'm trying not to get a panic attack and an asthma attack. I put my hand in my pocket and clench on to my inhaler just in case, I got one hand on the door and I push it open and eyes. Everyone stops what they're doing and looks at me. Ok then. I walk in feeling like the ground is about to shallow me up but it never does. I wish it did. I walk to the lunch line, Everyone still staring at me. It's way too quiet and I'm just feeling like to throw up. I'm sweating because it's happening. Panic attack. My anxiety. I'm glad I made it to my table because I'm feeling like I'm about to black out. I can't breathe. I almost forgot about the inhaler I have in my pocket that I've been holding on to for three minutes now. It's a good thing I have one with me all the time. I feel Abit better after I take my two puffs and have some water. Literally I was in a air conditioned room. Of course I'm by myself. Everyone is looking at me still but are now whispering something. Are they surprised that I just used an inhaler? Really. I then see Milo entering the Cafeteria with Jazmin by his side and the rest of the "POPULARS" Yeah the crew. I really don't care. I guess Jazmin and Milo got back together. I really was a rebound. *Plays Dpr Jasmine* My old friends look at me and continue there way up the stairs. Eh. I don't care. They don't care about me so why should i? I guess being the school's most well known is better than a 12 years old friendship. Ok. Whatever. It doesn't matter. Let me come clean about something. I've been texting someone. Well I didn't want to but they just continued so we have a friendship. Ok it's She. Still not into getting into relationships. But we're pretty good friends I would say. She's making her way over here right now. Her name is Lemonade. Yeah weird name. She's been called a chilled Kandy. She says she doesn't like her not only because of them being compared to her but because Kandy and I were close. I say "were" because our friendship is over. I've heard Kandy doesn't like her as well. "Hi Randy!" "Hey Lemonade." She really is kinda like Kandy. Excited, smiling, Weave. Kandy loves Weave. "I realized you got a panic attack. I hope you're ok. Are you? I'm sorry you did." "Am ... I'm ok. I'm alright."
"Good. I just wanted to know if you're ok." And we had a good day.