Midtown Manhattan, February 6th 2024

Here I am, doing eight shows a week for four weeks. I'm getting pretty tired of it.

I used to change my routines every show but now I don't have the strenght to do it.

I guess I have to quit my career as an actor.

I'm at the United Palace theatre and I'm going to meet Jimmy.

I have to tell him I don't want to be on the show anymore. I don't even care if my understudy goes on.

That is how much of tired I am of the showbizz.

I'm waiting in the audience seats.

I'm having flashbacks of movie shootings, musical rehearsals, talkshows.

All I've conquered and now I will have to put an end on.

My eyes start to water and gorgeous glowy tears slide down my face.

I don't wipe my face, I want Jimmy to see the mess I got to.

Jimmy appears.

Director – There you are Jordan.

Director – Great month don't you agree? I bet this show will run for a long time.

Jimmy comes closer to me.

Director – Have you been crying?!

Jordan (nodding affirmatively) – I have something to tell you.

Director – Go on.

Jordan - I'm grateful for the opportunity you gave me.

Jordan - Playing Lola has been a challenge to me and had me broaden my mind.

Jordan – But I'm afraid I have to put an end to it.

Director - What do you mean? You're not thinking in quitting the show?!

Jordan – I am Jimmy. Sadly I am.

Jordan – Dylan can take my part. I can't do this anymore.

Director – But Dylan isn't as talented as you are.

Jordan – I'm tired of having to do the same show day after day. Acting.

Jordan – I'm tired of acting.

Director – But the tickets are selling more because you're starring in the show.

Jordan – I'm sorry but I have to take a big break on my acting career.

Director – Aren't you afraid that that will be career suicide?!

Jordan – I don't know but I know I can't do this no more.

Director – If you want so, then I will have to give your part to Dylan.

Jordan – I hope you don't get mad at me.

Director – Why should I?! In no way I should stop you from feeling good.

Director – Even though you're the greatest star I've worked with.

Jordan (heartbroken) – Right. So... goodbye Jimmy.

Director – Goodbye Jordan.

Jimmy leaves me alone in the theatre and I just want to cry rivers and lakes.

I know it was my decision but still it's something I love.

I decide I should do a goodbye song.

Or as they call it, a Swan Song.

I decide to sing "What I Did For Love" from the musical A Chorus Line.

It's so emotional, I cry to the point I can't even finish the song.

After this Glee-ish kind of performance I go back to my loft.

I call Elsie and tell her not to bring Trinity with her.

Roderick has been writing a lot.

I guess it's more poems but I wouldn't know because he doesn't let me read them.

I go to my bedroom and lock the door. Roderick comes to the bedroom but finds the door locked.

Roderick (from outside the bedroom) – Jordan please let me in. I know it's your loft but this is our bedroom.

Jordan (from inside the bedroom) – I know but I need to be alone.

Roderick (from outside the bedroom) – Alright suit yourself.

Roderick (from outside the bedroom) – Please just don't take anymore pills. I know you have been taking them.

Roderick (from outside the bedroom) – You've been wandering through the loft like a sleepwalker.

I just shrug and go to my window seat and I look through it.

A lot of cars are passing by. I remember going for a ride with my mother.

On this particular memory that I'm having, we were driving without a destiny and we were singing along with radio.

She was radiant, happy and free. All things I always admired on her and always wanted to be like.

And now I feel like I'm far from them. Too far.

There's no privacy, no freedom, no happiness.

I have been faking my happiness with press conferences, plays, movies and such.

You know the truly foundation of what an actor is, is acting as someone else.

But you know I'm tired of that, I want to be me.

I want to stop acting as someone else. To not have to be forced to do this do that.

Or to not doing something because it will tarnish my reputation. I just want it not to be like I was before fame.

Because I wasn't happy, I mean I was. I guess the correct word is fulfilled.

I wasn't fulfilled before but I was happy. I was starting my relationship with Roderick.

Now we are like just people who live together and sometimes bump into each other.

I hear the door knocking again, but this time in a softer way.

Jordan (from inside the bedroom) – Rody don't think you'll get in by knocking softly.

Elsie (from outside the bedroom) - I'm sorry, it's not Roderick. It's me Elsie.

Jordan (from inside the bedroom) – Oh Elsie, I'm coming right in!

I rush to the door and unlock it.

Elsie looks at me and I just hug her and cry.

Elsie – Let's sit down.

Jordan (in tears) – Sure!

Elsie – So what's the deal?!

Jordan (in tears) – I'm tired. I'm tired of all the expectations you have from me.

Jordan (in tears) – That the press has from me. I'm tired of putting on this character.

Elsie – Are you really considering putting an end to your acting career?

Jordan (in tears) – Not an end. Just a break.

Elsie – Do you think you will be okay?

Elsie – I hope this doesn't affect your career.

Jordan (in tears) – I will be okay.

Jordan (in tears) – Adele made a break in her singing career for a while and then she came back better than before.

Elsie – Okay. How can I help you?

Jordan (while wiping my tears) – Well first I would like for you to still contact me and do not forget me.

Elsie – I will do that. I will always be in touch with you.

Elsie – You're always on my mind Jordan.

Jordan - Thank you.

Jordan – Second, I want to move out.

Jordan – I want to go live somewhere else where nobody recognizes me and nobody will discover me.

Elsie – A hideaway!!

Jordan – Yes.

Jordan – A hideaway for me and for Roderick.

Jordan – It can be small but with a room for us to express our arts.

Jordan – I will never give up on my art but I will do it just as a hobby.

Elsie – I can work with that.

Elsie – I'm going to search for a cottage for you two.

Elsie – Out of the New York state?

Jordan – Of course.

Elsie – Alright. I will go home now search for cottages.

Elsie – You and Roderick have to create incognito names so I can tell people who the house is for.

Jordan – Okay.

Elsie – I will give you a call when I found at least three potential cottages for you.

Jordan – Thank you Elsie, you're amazing.

Jordan – I'm sorry that sometimes I am mean to you.

Elsie – It's alright. I think you're just projecting how you were treated a long time ago.

Jordan – But I haven't seem to give enough credit to people who help me and go through thick and thin with me.

Elsie – Listen, I have been working as a publicist for a lot of actors and actresses.

Elsie – And let me tell you, they all seem to have the same behaviour as yours.

Elsie – But you have that sparkle that outshine them and so I put you on the top of my list.

Jordan – You're really kind. Can I hug you again?

Elsie – Sure!

I hug Elsie for three minutes and then I let her go.

Elsie – Remember nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.

Jordan – I will keep that in mind.

Elsie – I will have you in my heart.

Jordan – Bye Elsie.

Elsie – Bye.

Elsie leaves the bedroom and I hear her going downstairs. Roderick gets in.

Roderick – So you weren't going to tell me?!

Jordan – I was. In fact I am going to tell you.

Roderick – You don't have to, I heard all of it.

Roderick – How selfish of you to not only give up on your career but to make me give up on mine as well.

Jordan – How is that selfish?! I was thinking for the better.

Jordan – For us.

Roderick - I understand that you need a break.

Roderick – But have you even thought that I might not want that?!

Roderick – To give up my career.

Jordan – So you want to give up on us?!

Roderick – No, I just don't want to give up on my career.

Jordan – You can continue your career where we will live now.

Roderick – Where?!

Jordan – Elsie is going to search a cottage for us.

Roderick – A cottage?!

Jordan – Yes I'm sick of the fancy life I've been living.

Jordan – I need to connect with my true self and with my roots.

Jordan – Are you in with me?

Roderick – I am. I will always be.

Roderick – Come here. You're doing the right thing.

Roderick hugs me tight and caresses my hair.

Midtown Manhattan, February 7th 2024

My Iphone is ringing I grab it and see it's Elsie calling me.

Jordan (sleepy) – Good morning Elsie.

Jordan (sleepy) – Yes I was sleeping, but it's okay.

Jordan (sleepy) – Have you already found a hideaway?

Jordan (annoyed) – Oh really?! Roxbury?!

Jordan – No, I'm thankful but I don't want to feed the rumors that I'm living just as Marilyn Monroe.

Jordan – No, there's no need to found another cottage Elsie.

Jordan – Thank you, Roxbury is alright.

Jordan – Okay we'll meet you at 4 p.m. Thanks. Bye.

Roderick wakes up.

Roderick (sleepy) – Who was it?!

Jordan – Elsie. She got us a cottage.

Roderick – Oh yeah?! Where?

Jordan – Roxbury, Connecticut.

Roderick – Are you kidding me?!

Jordan – Right?!

Roderick – Wasn't that the place where Arthur Miller was from?

Jordan – It was. I didn't ask her for Roxbury.

Jordan –We have to think for different names for us. Incognito names.

Roderick – Right.

Roderick – But won't people ask for ours ids and then see we're lying about our names?

Jordan – It's just for our neighbours, if there will be any.

Roderick – I'm down for it.

Jordan – And it's for privacy and not being forced to be those famous people we actually are.

Roderick – From now on my name is Austin.

Jordan – Alright Austin. My name will be Mason.

Roderick – I always liked that name.

Roderick – Mason?! Like the actor Mason Dye from "Flowers in the Attic"?

Jordan – Yes, like Mason Dye from "Flowers in the Attic"!

Jordan – That's it. Now we have to pack our bags because we will leave at 4 p.m.

Roderick – Can't we just sleep for more of a couple hours?

Jordan – Sure. I'll put my Iphone to ring when it's time for us to wake up.

Roderick – You do that.

4 p.m.

Roderick and I packed all our lives inside four big trolleys.

We're at the Grand Central Terminal and we are going to arrive at Waterbury train station.

From Waterbury there's a driver waiting for us to drive us to our cottage in Roxbury.

Elsie is looking at me like she's going to cry.

Elsie – This is it. Your break.

Jordan – Yeah, I need it.

Elsie – I hope you find light for your well being.

Elsie – I'm not even mentioning your acting career.

Elsie – Because apart from being your publicist, I'm your friend too.

Jordan – Gosh, you're making this harder than it already is.

Elsie – And I care a lot bout you.

Jordan – I love you Elsie. You're a great friend.

Elsie – Thank you Jordan.

Elsie (to Roderick) – Hey you. I know I focus too much on Jordan.

Elsie (to Roderick) – Mostly because his my client but I appreciate you and your love for him.

Elsie (to Roderick) – You're a quite talented screenwriter. You're going far in your career.

Elsie (to Roderick) – I admire you so much. Even if it doesn't look like.

Roderick - Thank you Elsie. You're a really good friend.

Roderick – You have your flaws like everybody else but you can be a great company. A great ally.

Elsie – That sounded backhanded, but thanks.

Roderick smiles and Elsie returns the smile. The train arrives and the doors open.

Jordan – It looks like it's our exit.

Elsie – Haha, I'm going to miss you quoting theatre glossary.

Jordan – Well, this is our goodbye.

Roderick – It's time to go.

Elsie – Please don't forget me.

Roderick – We won't.

We enter to the train. Elsie looks like a mother who's seeing her children going away.

Elsie – Stay tuned to tv. The Academy Awards are around the corner!

Jordan – We will.

The train closes its doors, we go to our seats and Elsie waves us goodbye.

This train is really comfy and beautiful. For all the trains that I have been on, this was the best I've ever got on.

This trip is giving me melancholy.

I remember going on a train from New York to Los Angeles with Roderick.

But it's giving me melancholy also because I'm putting a break on my career.

I won't do what I love, it's kind of a contradicting thing I'm feeling.

I want to still have my career but I also want a break from it.

Mostly because of what comes with it.

The admirers, the expectations, the image you have to sell that doesn't match yourself.

We fall asleep even though we had plenty of time to sleep.

But three hours on a train gets you pretty tired.

After we arrived we go inside and just go to bed. The house is all decorated.

We don't even eat. We're so sleepy that we just go to sleep.

From New York to Roxbury we drove three hours and a half. It was a pretty tiring trip.

This cottage is so rural but yet it's so beautiful.

We even have a porch. Just like those from the movie adaptions of Nicholas Sparks books.