And you know what's the greatest paradox of them all? That through this work I try to untangle life for others, when my mind is itself in the most twisted of knots. Do I do this for myself? Perhaps, but it certainly hasn't worked anyway. Only that first I knew what those knots were and what my mind hated the most, but now, I don't know why my mind still feels like a coiled serpent wanting to rest and strike at the same time, when there is nothing around it to make it do so. Perhaps this is a question for a psychology student, but then most of science is just theories justified by other theories. 

Oh, how is it that despite having everything people don't feel like celebrating each day, and despite having nothing people live each day as if they are living the best life in the world? Bhutan, an economically developing country, has one of the highest happiness indexes in the world. Yet look at USA, it is the America, the land of possibilities, yet people seem to live stressful, unstable lives that are spent running the rat race with no finish line. Indeed, people don't feel satisfied when they have everything, while those with less seem to have much more. It could be the lack of ambition, that the poor man lives in the present and enjoys it, and his ambition for the future is lesser, allowing his peace of mind to remain unbroken. And the rich man, though possessing much, still isn't able to quench his thirst for success, his ambition only making him run and climb without pausing to think why is he striving so hard for something that won't satisfy him anyway, for once he achieves it he would only want to move up higher.

Or perhaps this is a paradox too, maybe the poor man really hates his life even more than I do mine, and just wants to break free from his way of living as well. Indeed, the grass does look greener on the other side, and I might have been taken in by it. Alas, we humans suffer from the worst evolutionary trait ever, which is adaptation. Its absolutely the worst, because its remarkable how quickly we get used to our circumstances, and how easily something that is new will become routine. Think about it, don't people get bored on vacations in a week or more? Or how a new job, a new song, a new possession easily loses its newness within days? Indeed, I can bet that should I, or any of us, be crowned kings or queens, we will get used to the grandeur, the power, the set-up within 30 days or less, and should behave as if this were our routine, everyday life and were actually rulers, only to be interrupted by occasional remembrances of the time long gone.