Don't freak out on me y'all there is still so much more to come!!!

Chapter 40 -  I Think I'm Catching Feelings

I never liked reading, always found most books annoying and I didn't find the storyline fun. That was until I was forced to read on the side of a lake as to avoid any farther interaction with Melanie over there.

It's still not fun but ya know whatever.

She was sitting on the dock with Kingston as they laughed and giggled.

She knows I like him...

I pack up my stuff, having throughly gotten a tan after I changed into my bathing suit. It was a bikini I borrowed from Miah, it was a bright blue that I loved and she didn't, it matched Kingston's eyes, and his hoodie which I've had almost six months straight.

She wanted me to have it which I found preposterous. I did love it though.

I held my book in front of me as I called everybody in. "I'm going to order dinner guys! If you want food you better get up!" I say and Kingston rushes up next to me, his tall figure making me look up and swallow as he picks me up, he digs his face into my neck and places a slow, meaningful kiss there.

Miah was packing stuff up and Reid and River were about to jump off of the cliff for the last time today. Though we were coming again after we go to the arcade tomorrow.

Melanie was standing at the end of the dock, her arms crossed in front of her chest.

Kingston smiles, "You wanna go down the cliff with me?" He asks, his smile brightening up my disappointing day, and I smile. "I'm scared-" I start but he picks me up and throws me onto his shoulder, I squeal, dropping my stuff next to his and kicking my legs but he slaps my butt.

"KING!" I say, laughing, but he just chuckles while saying, "What?" Like he did nothing, "Stop kicking or I'll do it again." He says and I stop as he walks up the short trail to the top of the cliff.

But ain't no complaints, you can do it again.

He slowly gets there, others packing up at the bottom as he places me down slowly, smiling at me and holding my hands.

"You're going to love it, Darling." He says and I shake my head while he quickly screams, "Can you swim?" Which I nod too and he screams, which is when I realized he grabbed my hands tighter and pulled us both off, I smile as we go down, my hair flowing behind me as I scream, but he covers his nose.

Which I should've done as I get a face full of nice and warm lake water going up my nose.

We hit the bottom and I kick back up, my hair all over my face as my head resurfaces. I cough, blowing air out of my nose as Kingston laughs, pinning me up against the cliff side and smiling. Running a hand through his hair and pushing it back before he fixes mine. He pushes up against me and kisses my forehead.

He pulls my hands and gets us back on the sand stuck to my feet as we walk along it, slowly headed towards the hotel.

"Didn't you love it?" He asks and I nod, "it was overall fun despite the part where a tsunami of lake water found it self departing up my nose." I say and he laughs as we catch up with the others.

"We're going to get the food!" Mel and Miah scream Kingston 'ooh' ing and screaming "Me too." As we get into the hotel.

"What! King, Kingston, Baby!?" I ask and he shakes his head as he walks away from me, "I'm sorry but I've got a very specific order of fish I need to get." He says, blowing me a kiss before walking away.

"It's probably frozen fish anyway!" I say and he turns back, "I love you too, Darling!" To which I scream, "I know!" Back, knowing there is nobody here in the hotel.

Reid walks up the stairs, quietly. Leaving me and River walking into the stuffy elevator, the light flickering through the fancy hotel.

——

I dry my hair for the eighteenth time tonight and pull it into a bread as I look at myself in the mirror. We just went swimming until like midnight and now guess who decided it would be a fun time to order room service and watch stupid tv shows?

Me.

I'm wearing some shorts and a tank top with no bra because fuck bras. Just started wearing one the actually fits me for the first time since eighth grade and boy did I forget what being a woman was like.

It sucks.

I put my hair into a rather loose braid and then step out fo the bathroom. Kingston is laying down on the bed, remote in his hand, while his abs are on full display. He's wearing grey sweatpants that hang lowly on his hips and show the border of his Calvin Klein underwear.

"Oh finally including decide if I wanted to get us burgers or something sweet so whatever we don't eat we're having tomor-"he stops when he looks up and sees me.

I tie the elastic band around the end of my braid and hum, "What?" I ask and he bites his lip.

"Can you do me a favor and come over here?" He asks and I nod, jumping next to him on the bed and laying on my stomach. I room my head up with my arms and look at him.

"I mean personally I'm in more of a burger mood right now." I say and he chuckles, "I guess I am too then..." he says and I nod, his hand lifts my chin up a bit more as he stares into my eyes.

"You're so beautiful, Summer." He says and I smile.

"And I mean that in a friend sorta way of course.." he says quickly and nervously and I raise an eyebrow. "Oh really?" I ask teasingly and he nods.

"Uh-huh."

"Oh really?" I ask again as I sit up on my knees.

"Uh huh definitely." He says, not looking into my eyes as I jump on top of him. "Oh really?!" I ask, louder and he nods.

"Uh huh!" As he throws me onto my back and I squeal. "Kingston!"

"What?" He asks as he pins my arms over my head.

"You ready to tell me who you're in love with yet?" He asks and I shrug.

"Are you ready?" I ask and he scoffs, "I was born ready baby." He says, and I raise an eyebrow.

"Fine then, guess. I'll give you three hints." I say and he looks flustered. "First hint?" He asks. "Their first name starts with a K." I quip back and something flashes through his emotion filled eyes. They were so clear...

"Kellin Pond?" He asks and I gag, "Kellin is like the teacher of douche 101." I say and Kingston sighs, "Good, he told me in the locker room once in middle school he liked to watch his gecko have sex with his other gecko or some crap."

"Oh god ew-"

"Anyway!" He starts, grabbing my attention, "Second hint?"

"Their last name starts with a B."

"What?! Who's name-?" His eyes splash with realization as he looks me dead in the eyes.

"Kohen Ballahan!?" He asks excitedly and I groan, "No you idiot! He's my best friend and flirts with me all the time and talks about how hot I am and builds up my confidence but also continuously reminds me that he probably doesn't feel the same and likes my other female best friend." I sigh and his face...

For the first time I've ever seen it his face is emotionless.

"So?" I ask, but I know what's gonna come as he just rolls off of me and stare at the ceiling.

"What am I supposed to say?" He asks slowly and I gulp, "That you don't choose Melanie over me?" I ask and he stays the same. He doesn't tell me anything.

"I get it I shouldn't've said anything, I should go-" I start. But he grabs my arm and pulls me onto his chest.

"Fuck I love you, Summer. I've loved you since sixth grade." He whispers and I push myself up. "Wait... what!? You've gotta be joking I mean you can't love me you're Kingston Brag-"

"I loved you when you walked into second period in sixth grade. It was immediate. I know we never talked but god I would watch you from the back of the classroom as you talked to your friends. I knew you would never love me so as I grew up I became a fuck boy. I grew more and more popular but you still wouldn't look at me, the only time you realized me was when I made stupid jokes in the back of the classroom, so I kept doing that. You're smile disappeared though and I was gonna fix that. I was determined."

"So... you weren't lying-"

"Shut the fuck up, Summer." He says with a chuckle and I straddle him. "Kingston... kiss me." I mumble and he smirks at me.

And he does as told. His lips find there way to mine as he presses them against me. Our lips move in sync as I run my fingers through his hair. He groans, pushing my stomach into his as he grips my hips.

His lips go to my neck, immediately finding my spot as I moan. "Kingston.." I moan and he growls, smiling against my neck as he flips us over.

I grind against him as he grunts. "Fuck, Summer. If you keep doing that I won't be able to stop..." he mumbles and I chuckle as I push his face back to mine.

"Why would you want to?" I quiz with a chuckle, expecting his lips on mine again with a laugh as well. But his face goes stone cold.

I've never seen his face like that before.... his eyes were.... for the first time empty. He couldn't fill them with emotion like before.

"Kingston..?" I ask and he sighs.

"I can't do this... I can't... I can't..." he says and I pulls myself away from him, leaning against the head board.

"Why? What did I do wrong? I though t you loved me too?" I ask and he tries to grip my face but I shake him off.

"I can't do that to Melanie..." he says and tears slip from my eyes, "What...?"

"She told me at the lake that she loved me, Summer. I mean obviously I'm irresistible but-"

"Now isnt the time to joke, Kingston! Why can't you just be happy with me?! She's gotten everything in her entire life, Kingston! I just wanted you.." I say the last part of my sentence in a small voice.

He backs away from me and slips down the wall. "Summer, I can't do that to her."

"You're doing the same thing to me!" I scream, grabbing my hoodie and putting it on over my clothes, now I just feel insecure and stupid for thinking he thought I was pretty.

"Summer..." he says, getting up with tears in his eyes. "No! Stop! Let me ask you a question, Kingston. Do you care about how she feels more because she's prettier? She's rich? She's not messed up? Just to push it in my face that you don't really love me!?"

"No-" he starts, his fingers grazing my hand and I push him away. "Don't touch me!"

"I love you, Summer."

"No you don't!" I scream, looking at him dead in the eyes even if my vision is blurry, "Why..?"

"I... I don't know." He says and I nod, sticking my hands in my pocket and grabbing my duffle bag.

"I'm gonna go to River's room, I'll see if Melanie can come in here..." I say as I rush towards the door.

"No! Fuck! Please don't leave!"

"What did I do wrong? Am I disgusting?" I ask and he shakes his head signaling down to his bulge, "Does this show that I'm disgusted with you, Summer?" He asks and I roll my eyes.

"I knew I wasn't ever gonna be enough for you..."

"Yes you are! You're too good for me, Summer!" He says and I furrow my eyebrows. "How? I'm a fucking orphan who nobody loves! I'm messed up! I have scars! I'm chubby! I'm poor and I'm probably not going anywhere in life! I get it!-"

"God! No, Summer! I should've told you earlier but once you know you'll stop loving me and I can't fucking lose you!" He says and I open the door.

"You already did, Kingston." I say, but I can't look at him as I leave.

I slowly walk over to River's room, knocking on the door as he opens it groggily. He stood there with messy brown hair and no shirt, but I didn't even wanna look at him.

I didn't want anybody to see me right now. I grabbed him and pulled him in for a hug, even if I knew I'd never be as comfortable with him as I would with he-who-shall-not-be-named.

I immediately just start balling, and though his body is stiff with surprise he soon warms up to me and pulls me in. He grabs my duffel bag and pulls us into the hotel, closing the door and running his fingers through my hair.

"Summer what wrong?" He asks soothingly but I just shake my head, balling. "Get Melanie out." I mumble and he furrows his eyebrows, "Get out!" I scream as I fall against the wall and he goes over to Melanie.

She's still in her bathing suit as she rolls her eyes, "if you insist." She says, purposely kicking me as she walks out the door.

River picks me up and puts me in one of the beds, rubbing my back as he groans. "What the fuck did Kingston do?" He asks and I stare at my feet, trying to blink the blurriness out of my eyes.

"I told him, River..." I say and River nods, "Uhhuh I don't see how this leads to here when I know for a fact he loves you too-"

"No he doesn't!" I scream and River grabs my hand. "Yo chillll..." he says and I look up and glare at him.

"He told me he loved me too. He kissed me. Then told me he couldn't do that to Melanie." I say and River growls. "He told me Melanie told him she loved him at the dock today and that he couldn't hurt her like that even though he was doing it to me. He went on and on about how after I knew what he did I wouldnt love him anymore... but I don't see how I could ever stop, which just makes it hurt more." I say as I start balling again, River pulls me in for a hug.

"Wait... did he not tell you?" River asks and I growl, "tell me what?! Because he obviously didn't tell me a lot!"

"Let me give you a cue word... um... oh! Doctor!?" He asks and I shake my head, "He told me he wanted to be a doctor-"

"Fuck! No.. that's not it. He told me he told you, that idiot!" River shouts, pacing the room as I lean back on the bed. "Tell me now. It's okay. I don't know if I could feel worse than right now..." I say softly as I stare up at the ceiling.

"Go to bed, Summer."