1619 words

Chapter 34 - I Don't Know

I don't even know what I think, or why I cut again. But I felt like I had to. Maybe it's because that's all I know.

-Summer's POV-

I was yawning, putting my arms to the sides of my head, hoping that Kingston was coming over tonight.

River runs his hand against my side as I close my eyes. Suddenly he speaks out, "Why did you do it?" He asks and I open my eyes slowly, furrowing my eyebrows with a questioning look.

"I- uh- did I- what?" I ask stupidly and he chuckles, rubbing his fingers along my face and pushing fallen hair behind my ear.

"I saw the cut, did you do it?" He asks and I  sit up, looking down at my lap, I know he doesn't want me to. I know. But I don't know why I did it.

I just don't want to hurt any of them.

"Yea, I did." I say and he leans in, wrapping his arms softly around my neck.

He sadly smiles down at me, "Please, stop." He starts, "I do not know why you did it, and I will not be arrogant about it this time and say you do not have a reason. But please, I care about you." He says, our breath colliding as we speak.

"That's the thing, I did.... i did it because I think I'm in love with Kingston." I say and his jaw drops.

"Finally!" He says and I raise an eyebrow, he turns to me fully and smiles.

"He has l-"

Kingston opens the door, his dark figuring stepping in the backseat with me, putting his arms around my neck and putting his buckle around him.

"Melanie stole my car because she said I was a dick. She doesn't even know how to drive so she got Miah to do it with her. So I need a ride." He says and I chuckle.

But it goes silent, tension radiating off of River.

"But tell me one thing you do know, what did Madeline do to you?" He asks, catching me off guard.

"How do you know-" I start but he cuts me off waving his hand, "Please just tell me, you matter a lot to us and I do not want to hurt you by dating her. I know what she did to Melanie." He says, my smile falls as I lean my head against the black seats.

"Summer?" Kingston asks wearily, pushing hair out of my face, his face full of so many emotions. But so much concern.

I sigh, taking a breath in and looking at my lap.

"Madeline would put notes telling me to kill myself in my locker every day, she hated me and still does. I guess it's because at the time my family seemed so perfect. And her dad had just left. I guess she leaves me alone more know because she saw me fall apart after so many years." I say quickly, trying to get past the topic.

"I get you do not want to talk about it, but I will not hurt you by dating her. I do not know why you would be nice enough to let me date her." He says and I look up at him even though he can't see me.

"Because I want you to be happy." I say, his smile change into a bright one instead of a sad one.

But Kingston pulls my face towards his, peppering kisses all over me after he gets out of his state of confusion.

"You are sleeping in my room tonight." He says and I giggle.

A few tears spill from my eyes, but he reaches back and wipes them away. "What you have been through is not okay, I will never say it is. But all you can do now is use it to become the amazing person you are." He says with a smile and I hold his hand.

"Thank you." I say, and he smiles.

River starts driving and soon we get out of the car, going up to bed. Yes, Kingston is staying over again. I take off his hoodie and put it in his closet. I take one of his shirts and a pair of leggings, changing in his bathroom and coming back out to see him playing with the dog on his bed.

He is shirtless, a pair of sweatpants on and that's it. I blush, sitting down next to him on the bed, Nico running up to me and laying on top of me.

I giggle, petting his side while I see Kingston eyes on me from my peripherals. The dog gets up, leaving when he hears Pho and Halliah get home from getting ice cream after the game.

River runs into Kingston's room, he mouths "I need backup!"
I stare at him with furrowed eyebrows before Halliah comes into the room first smiling at River, "You did amazing Darling, it was a great last game. I'm happy that you won." Halliah states, coming in and handing River a cup of ice cream.

"You deserve this Darling, You could give some to Summer if you want because I assume you would share. But your protective over your food so you don't have to." She says with a smile, River kisses her tan cheek before she leaves, "Thank you, Mama." He says and she chuckles, "You only use that name when I get you something." She says, blowing a kiss his way and wiggling her eyebrows at me and Kingston.

"Kingston, I didn't know when you'd be here next, but I got you a chocolate bar from Italy a few days ago. Go help yourself." She says and he jumps up, dragging me with him.

He's giggling like a mad man, as we practically run down the stairs. But me being the clumsy person I am, I'm still holding onto Kingston as we run down, and I practically fall into him at the floor. He grabs me as we fall, laughing painfully

I stare at him as I slowly pick my upper half up so I'm straddling him, Pho rushing over to us from El on the other side of the living room.

El stares at me with a smirk on her face, and of a knowing look as I look down with a smile.

Pho jumps on me and Kingston groans, I pick her up and stand up, helping Kingston up too as Pho smiles at him, reaching out for him.

"I told you she had a crush on me." He says with a smirk, "No!!!!!" Pho says and he takes her out of my arms.

"Really?" He asks, not believing.

He starts tickling her, and she giggles. He looks up at me with a smile, walking over to the kitchen and grabbing the chocolate bar.

He comes over and throws it at me, though I don't catch it, dropping it on the floor miserably.

He just smiles at me and chuckles, "Youre hopeless."

Hopeless in love

That was cheesy I'll leave now.

—————————-

He wakes me up, his face a smiley one instead of mine. "It's six am but you have to get up because guess what?" He says and I groan, stretching my arms. "What?" I ask, and he presses his lips together as his eyes roam my body.

Then he looks back up to me, "It's officially spring." He says and I check the date, "Oh my goodness. It is!" I say hopping out of his bed and grabbing his hoodie and pulling it over me.

"Fuck yeah." He says to my enthusiasm and I smile brightly at him, My body bobbing up and down. I run downstairs, spring being my favorite season and from him getting up so early I assume his.

I open the door to the back yard, looking and seeing the cherry blossom trees that blossomed overnight. I turn behind me to see Kingston entering the backyard with a large smile.

His necklace is under his shirt, I don't think he's taken it off much since Christmas. I love that.

He smiles at me, and though the smile is the most amazing thing I've seen.

The sun is just coming up from the early hour, the golden tone on his face was beautiful as it washed over everything, the lower half of his body in the shadow from a fence but his face was illuminated perfectly.

He was so amazing, sweet, even if his player ways are stupid. I'm stupid for... feeling like this.

I look at up deep in the eyes, him smirking and signaling me over to him. A whole three feet was walked as his hands rested on my hips, "That means Valentine's Day is in a week, and the spring formal is in a week." He says, looking down at me without any hesitation.

His eyes were planted on me making me smile at my feet. But he lifts my chin up, making me look at him. A moment of silence falls upon us, buts it's a comfortable one, his eyes exploring every inch of my face like he hasn't before.

He leans in slowly, so slow that I don't notice until our lips are centimeters apart. He stares down at me, then at my lips.

He picks me up by my thighs so we're the same height, my arms and legs going around him.

Then, he blinks as if he hadn't in a while. He looks down, seeing me on him but quickly recovering.

I can't help but think he was going to kiss me.

Even if I know that it would've been a mistake.