Spring 2020 was such a crazy time on planet earth. I was a 21-year-old right at the start of trying to follow a career path of dreams, involving books (no surprise there!) but the older and rarer kind. A local antiquarian bookshop had opened up its doors to me in January and the amount of excitement was there. Little did I know that six weeks later, all of that was to crash close. As I didn't qualify for benefits or furlough payments, all of my income dried up overnight and I had to survive on my savings and support from family members to get me through.

The world of working was always going to be a daunting chapter of my life. There are times when I hope that situations change and the chances of moving forward and not dwelling on the various stigmas of anxiety disorders and autism will be present. I had made a past decision after getting advice from a therapist to disclose my health issues and disabilities to employers after weighing up all of the pros and cons beforehand. The lockdowns we had offered two main feelings which both contradict each other.

I didn't miss the busy crowds or the comfiness of queues or waiting for public transport to arrive at all times of the day and then freaking out when everything got canceled. There was really no kind of set routine I had but my sleeping habits did chop and change a lot. Most nights, I would only survive on 4 hours worth. Others (and mainly during the 2nd UK lockdown in winter) I used to sleep for 10/11 hours on and off. My TBR both for audiobooks and physical reads in my past collections was quite long, now it is even longer but I was able to escape and get some reading done and reviews written for my followers on Goodreads. All kinds of communication and events had moved to Zoom. It wasn't until the 3rd UK lockdown that I started to use it more. One of my job interviews was over Zoom for a library role which was... something.

I did miss the closeness of being able to physically be around family members who either lived abroad but travel back home regularly or those who had to medically shield themselves due to their health risks. We called and texted every day yet it was hard seeing the message that calls had ended and we had to mentally try and figure out what tasks needed to be done next such as kitchen cleaning. I did text some friends over social media during this time yet having many hours to myself resulted in my conclusion as to who I truly am. Extremely introverted.

Youtube was a godsend as more and more creators started posting a variety of content. There's still my old childhood beach tent packed away in my house that I did place up many times during the lockdowns and stuffing the small space with cushions and my laptop. Staying outside in the garden was good for allowing those in the household with zoom meetings to carry on with them without my noise happening. My cats would sometimes join me in the tent or fight with the flap or each other. They seemed pleased to have the company.

Music is the best thing for me whatever my moods or life dramas/moments that unfold, so no big surprise that my Spotify became cluttered with new playlists, and subscribed to podcasts. At the time, I was still using my old phone which the battery drained super quickly and couldn't store much data. Different story now and my higher storage phone purchase was inspired as a result of staying home and trying to find things to keep me occupied. Audiobooks via Audible and Scribd satisfied the bookworm within me as budgeting became a focus for all of us.

I never really left my house/garden for the daily exercise allowed but during lockdown 2, I started a good habit of walking around the block with an audiobook playing. This lasted well until a weird guy started creeping me out and that resulted in my paranoia setting in. Lockdown 3 was rough as almost straight off the bat, I ended up in the local A+E after a strange eye injury. Wearing sunglasses indoors for a week was not fun!

If you experienced any lockdowns a few years ago, please share your experiences in the comments section below. I'm keen to hear if you had anxiety issues at this time and what you did to try and support yourself.