//SPOILER WARNING\\

This chapter contains spoilers for the Manga when in reference to Gowther's backstory. -Golden

3rd Person's POV

Later on that day, in the evening hours, Madeline decided to take a break from the antics of the sins and to explore the capital. Walking down memory lane, noticing structures that she has once passed by many years ago, many currently being rebuilt, no workers around it as they all went home to their families. Or the families they had left after the battle.

She never knew that she would ever lay eyes on this splendid kingdom ever again. To see all that came with being one of the King's Guard. It had even frightened her, never equipped to fight, and yet was expected to protect the Royal Family and uphold the Oath of Liones? It was one of the many things that had her blood pumping back then, along with the training Merlin had her endure when it came to learning magic. And said magical training she was still learning.

A floating figure disrupted her thoughts as they decided to rest right in front of her, startling the young woman.

"K-King!" King smiles softly at her, while he was afloat, he could be eye level with her.

"Sorry for scaring you. I heard from the Princess that you went for a walk. Do you mind if I join you?" Madeline shakes her head, not minding at all.

The two walked, King, having floated down to walk at Madeline's side, glancing up at her to see she was still lost in thought, possibly overthinking things as per usual.

"How many more do you need to heal?"

"For tomorrow? 20 or 30, half of them are ones that I have to make sure I tend to constantly because of the injuries they hold." She spoke of it, remarking silently to herself that they still rested in the infirmary. Soon it would be hard to maneuver around in there with so many injured in the same room who are currently immobile.

"How did Gowther fair when helping you out today?" Madeline didn't think of his assistance when it came to medicine or healing- But of the instance of him 'being in love' with her. King raises a brow at the sight of Madeline blushing, his head tilting before he floated up to investigate.

"Maddy?" Madeline blinked, hiding her blush as she looked away from him and off to the side.

"Y-Yeah? Sorry, I got distracted."

"What happened with Gowther? You are blushing."

"Nothing! And I-I'm not b-blushing!" She stated in her flustered state, the blush creeping up to her ears, hidden away by her green hair. "You are. Did Gowther make a fool of himself and trip over something?" King was confused, wondering what had gotten into her. When Madeline turned to look back at him, she didn't look into his eyes, straight on, as she normally would. Actually staring at his eyebrows instead. She combated her blushing by doing this.

King blinked and then glanced down to Madeline's wrist, where she was nervously rolling a new pink and green woven bracelet in between her fingers. He knew she didn't have it on earlier today, or yesterday, so when could she have gotten it? And from... whom?

His eyes widened as he pieces together the puzzle pieces, realizing that how Madeline was acting right now was how he first acted when he came to know and realize his feelings for Diane.

"Oh..." He aired out, "Does Captain know?"

"Know what?"

"That you and Gowther are together now?" Her blush deepened, the woman surprised she has yet to pass out from how much she blushed that day. "W-We-We arent-!"

"The bracelet was a gift from Gowther, right? And how you are acting right now, along with Gowther's unusual peppiness ever since he helped you out earlier- It has to be because of it." Madeline sighs heavily as she stops walking, rubbing at the apples of her cheeks tiredly, not wanting to have to explain something like this to King of all people. Why did King have to be the first one to know?

Madeline furrows her brows, almost missing how King described Gowther's new demeanor. "Gowther is being... Peppy?" King nods, "Yes, it crept me and Ban out." He didn't want to add that was the reason why he wanted to leave the castle, he was getting too creeped out by Gowther.

Madeline smiles in amusement at the look on King's face, deciding that the Fairy King wasn't too comfortable being around the being at the moment.

"I don't know how to feel about it, King. I truly don't. Gowther has reassured me dozens of times that what he is feeling is true, and that nothing else will stop him from being with me."

"Even if you don't carry the same feelings for him?" Questions King. Madeline chews on her bottom lip, not knowing how to answer that properly. As she wasn't sure herself.

"I... I don't know how to feel about it. I mean- Gowther and I haven't spoken to one another in ten years. And he told me that he had been feeling the same way for that long. It can't be."

"You know how I felt when it came to Diane, and how long it has been since I have fallen for her."

"That's only because I found your stash of drawings of her years back-" Madeline began to tease, watching the blood rush up to King's face as he accidentally reverts to his regular form. "Don't tease me!" Came out his deeper voice, leaving her to laugh.

"I'm sorry! Honestly, I forgot about it until now! You are lucky I was the one who found it, and not Ban or my brother! I was just trying to find some blank pieces of paper, and yet I stumbled upon the drawing of Diane wearing-" King transforms again, clamping his hand over Madeline's mouth to stop her from bringing up the embarrassing memory.

"Stop, okay I get it! Let's focus on you and Gowther right now." King tells her before slowly releasing his hand from off of her mouth once he knew she wouldn't continue their trip down memory lane of embarrassment.

"Sorry..." Madeline clears her throat, going back to messing with the bracelet Gowther gifted to her.

"He told me that he read a lot of books to understand the feelings he has for me, that he intentionally hurt himself back then as a reminder that he wouldn't ever be able to hold my hand because of the suit of armor he wore to seal off his magic- I'm worried about that detail."

"Wouldn't girls usually swoon over something like that? He only ever wanted to hold your hand, and was sad that he couldn't." King was perplexed at Madeline's worry over the small detail.

"I know, usually girls would. But- I wouldn't. I'm a Doctor, a Healer, first. his body regenerated abilities should have immediately began its reconstruction of the wound, but it didn't. He stopped it, fought it off. He was punishing himself, King. For wearing an armored suit that was gifted to him by Merlin that kept his more crazy magical powers at bay in case he lost control. Just- Just imagine what could happen now, now that he is out of that suit. Acquiring new emotions and feelings. What happens to him then?" Madeline hiccups on her tears of fear, "I don't want to see him get hurt, I don't want to know that there is absolutely nothing I can do for him to help him heal."

"Madeline..." Mutters King in shock before he wraps his tiny arms around her neck to hug her, something that she needed. King's frown deepened as he felt her shake in his arms, hating that the Senex was feeling this way. And he couldn't do anything to help her. He couldn't exactly walk up to Gowther and tell him to stop having emotions, that's a horrible idea.

"You need to talk to Merlin, she's the one who made that suit of his in the first place. Maybe she would know what to do.".

---

Merlin sat at the mahogany table, sipping on tea as she read through Madeline's journal, brows furrowed together in concentration. She wanted to see how much the young girl has improved when it came to medicine, and to see if Madeline actually considered her advice when it came to magical brews.

The door opened to her temporary room, Merlin turning her head, golden brown eyes falling upon a distraught looking Madeline.

"Madeline, what's happened? Why are you-?" Merlin stands up before she was barreled into by Madeline, her arms wrapping around her waist and burying her face into Merlin's ribs, shoulders shaking as she wept.

"Madeline..." She frowns, eyes softening from their usual hard glare into those of a mother, wrapping her arms around the girl's shoulders, petting softly through her hair. "What's wrong, little one? I am here to bear your sorrows." Madeline didn't reply, too caught up in her tears. Merlin didn't know what could have caused this reaction from her. She knew that Madeline wore her heart upon her sleeve and had many emotions that built up overtime- Could this be because of her resurrection? The horror of the unknown? Not knowing why she was still alive, why heaven didn't just take her soul already? Was it something else? Missing her father? The stress of healing so many throughout the day? Her training? Her plans to leave the Sins?

Again and again, Merlin racked her brain to figure out what was wrong, having to wait a handful of minutes before she spoke up, sniffling.

"Merlin... W..What is Gowther?" She hesitantly asks her, looking up at the woman to see how she would react. Merlin didn't know how to reply, how to tell the young woman of Gowther's true being, and reason for being alive. It hurt her so to know that Madeline was in tears asking this question. What did Gowther do to her?

"He is human-"

"No, he isn't. Merlin, I know a human's body like the back of my hand, I have seen millions of them over the years. Gowther isn't human. I know this." Madeline interrupted her, watching Merlin's eyes widen at the quick retaliation. Merlin has Madeline sit down, before pulling herself a chair over to sit in front of her, grabbing ahold of her hands to comfort her, knowing that she will need it by what she was about to tell her.

"Madeline, why now do you question what he is?"

"I have always, ever since his days in his suit of armor. I have. But today- It was brought more into question."

"What happened, tell me what happened."

"Tell me what he is." She pressed.

"You won't like the answer, Madeline." Stated Merlin firmly. Madeline pressed her lips together in a thin line, eyes flashing gold as she leaned forward, "I know that I won't. He isn't human, a demon, an angel, a fairy, nor a senex or a being like you, Merlin. He isn't immortal like Ban either. It's something that isn't the norm in this world." Pain crossed Merlin's irises, her grip tightening on Madeline's hands.

"Is it surely this important for you to be bawling your eyes out over?" Merlin tried to divert her student's attention, but Madeline was stubborn like her brother and didn't falter on wanting to know the truth.

"Yes."

"Then tell me what he did to you." Merlin pressed. Madeline raises her brows in confusion and shock, 'Why did she say it like that?' She asked herself.

Before she could question her wording, she needed to tell her what transpired in the infirmary.

"Gowther told me that... That he bears feelings for me, Merlin."

"Friend feelings-?"

"No. Romantic ones. He even showed me with a kiss b-but I know that he can't be capable of something like this. At least I thought, he told me he intentionally hurt himself years ago because he wanted to hold my hand, but couldn't because of the suit of armor he wore- The one you gifted to him." Merlin's frown deepens, showing off wrinkles Madeline never saw present on her flawless features. The magician leans back, closing her eyes as she mulled over the Senex's words. 'Gowther... In love?' She began in thought, 'Couldn't be possible, his memories and emotions were sealed off...' She cracked an eye open to look down at Madeline, seeing her currently trying to distract herself as she grew antsy, 'If Gowther is in love with Madeline... Is it wearing off finally? Just how much do I have to prepare? How long was this building up?' Merlin clears her throat, softly shaking her head, her attention back on Madeline.

"Listen to me, and listen well. If Gowther is truly in love with you- Then, there is nothing I, nor can you do, or anyone else for that matter to stop what may happen in the nearby future. Do you understand?" Madeline shakily nods in confusion, "What is it?"

"Many years ago, Gowther erased his memories and emotions after a terrible consequence ensued. He did it, so he could never feel pain again. He is now letting himself be vulnerable, if this continues, it could end horribly for him."

"What happened?"

"I do not feel comfortable enough to tell you yet, if he gains his memories back of that time, and sees you- He won't want it to repeat. He will become more than the Gowther you have come to known. Do not return his affection back to h..." Her worlds fell short, before cursing, "Shit, you said he kissed you already, didn't you?" Madeline nods. "Yes."

"What did you do afterward?" Merlin didn't need to hear the answer, seeing her reaction, the blush, and the averting of eyes.

"Okay, scratch that. You already did it. It's just a waiting game now on when he will snap."

"He won't snap, Merlin. What's going on? What is Gowther?!" Merlin shuts her eyes, taking a few deep breaths in and out to calm herself down. 'Fuck, why did this have to happen to Madeline of all people?' She asks herself, thinking back on what could have been done differently for this outcome to not have happened. Could they have done anything differently?

"Gowther isn't of a race. He is a magical being, a doll."

"What?" Madeline is confused, not knowing what she meant.

"He is thousands of years old, he was created by a magician to resemble the love of his life, only made him male that way he wouldn't fall in love with him."

"Hold on, what?" Madeline didn't understand.

"It- It's hard to explain little one."

"Yeah, I would believe so. Does Gowther know?" Merlin nods, "He does."

"Okay, soo... Ah! This doesn't make any sense!"

"I know, I know. And I'm sorry." She didn't know whether to disregard Merlin's words or to believe them. How could she? She knew there was magic in the world, as she possessed it, but for Gowther to be a creation? A doll? She knows he wasn't human, but to think- She couldn't think about it, she was becoming distraught.

"Gowther is a doll, created by a wizard, he resembles said wizard's dead love and carries a portion of the wizard's magic within him. He was used as a vessel-"

"A weapon, you mean." Merlin glares at her, "Not exactly-"

"Then what else would he be used for?! Gowther isn't even person then?!"

"He is, I know it hard to understand and grasp and-" Madeline gets up from her seat abruptly, walking past Merlin to walk out of the room.

"Where are you going?!"

"Apparently to go and talk to a doll who happens to love me!" She states before slamming the door dramatically.

---

Madeline's POV

It took me a half-hour to locate Gowther, weaving through the castle's many halls and rooms, searching the first library for him, came up empty. And then the second library is where I found him, laying on his back on the sofa, book in hand as he read.

I couldn't help but think, 'Cute.' At the concentrated look on his face. I shake my head, 'No Mads, you are here to talk to him about what Merlin said. Not dote over him.' I reminded myself as I slowly approached him.

He didn't notice me at first, too engrossed in his book as I read the chapter title on the front, 'Lord of the Flies'.

"Gowther...?" I hesitantly say his name, gaining his attention. He looked past his book and up to me, his amber eyes glinting in the light of the chandelier overhead.

"Miss Madeline." Despite professing his love to me, he still called me by that. I smiled softly, rounding the couch, Gowther sitting up to create a space for me to sit.

"What are you reading?" I ask him, not wanting to frighten him by shooting questions about himself right away.

"Lord of the Flies, I heard from a special person that it is quite a good read." I furrowed my brows, wondering who would recommend this book to him. Gowther closed the book, using his finger as a temporary bookmarker before he leans back, laying down his head on my thighs and closing his eyes. He looks so... Peaceful.

He was making it hard to find a good time to ask him what I wanted to ask him.

His form was relaxed, breaths coming out in long drawled out puffs, heart rate was down and muscles not tense- He was comfortable, I didn't want to ruin that for him.

He was changing, his emotions were being released, it was only a matter of time before- Before...

"It's just a waiting game now on when he will snap," I remembered Merlin's warning. Snap... Did she mean, he will erase them again? Or, would he destroy? I didn't know, and I was fearful of what he would do.

My hand was grabbed, leaving me to flinch as I snapped out of my perilous thoughts in recognition of the calm gaze upon me. Gowther had grabbed my hand, studying the bracelet he had given me. He seemed fond of that, that I was wearing it.

"What's the matter, Miss Madeline? You are tense."

"Sorry... I'm still getting used to this." I told him because I truly was not used to him displaying his emotions around me. After a minute, he sits back, maneuvering so he was sitting properly again, and reopen his book, ushering me to read along with him. The atmosphere was so calm, quiet and no stir of awkwardness, our shoulders pressed up against one another until he placed a hand on my covered knee.

"You are bouncing it, what is making you nervous?" He asks me, his gaze flittering down to mine worriedly. Another emotion I haven't seen on him, worry.

"Sorry, Gowther. I didn't mean to disrupt your reading." The pink-haired male shakes his head, deciding to just set down the book after folding the edge of the paper to mark his place. "You didn't. It's about time I stopped anyways, you are more important." He links his hand under my knees, moving them to rest over his thighs before wrapping his arms around me in a hug, face buried into my shoulder. 'Okay, I seriously can't keep this up any longer-'

"What's on your mind? Is it something I'm doing making you uncomfortable?" He asks me. I shake my head, not wanting to hurt him. I didn't want to ask this. But I needed to know. Gowther doesn't have his memories yet, does he? Just emotions? So I can't ask him about why he erased the two, just about the fact that he was- He was a doll.

"Gowther, I..have...a...a question," I tell him, feeling him snuggle more into me.

"Yes? Is it about intimacy again-" My cheeks flushed scarlet. "N-No! W-Why does your mind always go that way?" I felt him chuckle against me, sending shivers down my back from his pants of breath against my neck.

"It's cute seeing you get all flustered." I pouted before sighing heavily, "Gowther... Are you a- A doll?" I asked him. I feel him still against me, the atmosphere shifting.

He didn't reply to me right away as normal, he stayed silent, he didn't move, and it barely felt like he was breathing.

When I felt magic power rising, I immediately pushed him away from me, grabbing his face so he had no choice but to stare at me.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. I'm not mad at you, I'm not- Gowther." His eyes were cast over as he listened to me, the magic power brewing, "Gowther, listen to me. I still care about you, no matter what, okay?" I told him shakily, "I'm sorry that I scared you, I-I didn't know how else to get it out and ask you about it. You d-don't have to tell me all of the details, just please confirm that this is what you are, alright? Please, I'm sorry for scaring-" I gulped as his hands moved to rest on my sides, trying to see the glimmer in his eyes again as I did earlier. Oh god, please Gowther, I'm not here to scare you. Please don't do anything rash. "Gowther." I said his name, wincing when he pushed me down onto the couch, hovering above me, "Gowther." I said again, not getting a reply, just more staring from him.

I clenched my jaw, not wanting to hurt him, nor wanting him to hurt me as he applied pressure to my side, gripping me as if I was a lifeline to him. "Gowther!" I yelled, my eyes turning golden yellow, but not seeing through him to his anatomy, only because my magic was sparking up as a defense mechanism.

"Gowth-!" I was silenced by his mouth on mine, surprising me again. My eyes widen, seeing his were closed tightly shut as he pressed me more into the sofa, he was trying to do something, what was going on?

I gripped at his neck and shoulders, feeling his hands move up and down my sides before traveling up to my shoulders, and further up my arms, grabbing my hands and holding them.

He pulled away, moving his lips elsewhere, to my chin, down my jawline, to the side of my head, and down to my neck where he stayed, panting.

I gulped bouts of air into my lungs, feeling the magical power that Gowther was searing full of- Dampen into his regular passive levels.

"Go...Gowther." I said in between pants, trying to calm my beating heart. I furrowed my brows as he lifted himself up, looking down at me with his kind eyes. He caressed the side of my face tenderly, keeping grips on himself. "I apologize for frightening you, I didn't expect to hear that word come out of your mouth."

"You mean... Doll?" He nods slowly, leaning down to peck my lips, "I am one if that is what you are asking. I shall say that being a Doll will not hinder anything in this relationship of ours. I suddenly felt the possessiveness need to prove that to you. That I am like any other person in this world." He told me honestly, and I felt the sinking feeling at the back of my consciousness that his emotions will only prove to become more intense as time went on. Will there come a time where he is unable to control himself? What if he feels sorrow and hatred, how will he express it?

"Thank you, for being truthful with me, Gowther." I watched the frown on his face turn upside down, smiling at me before letting his body fall, wrapping his arms around me in a hug. I didn't mind, he wasn't that heavy, his body was just a bit lanky as you would expect for him to be, then again, I view anyone as lanky in comparison to me. Gowther is just extra lanky.

I left him be, letting him rest, letting him think, and letting myself to my thoughts. How... How would he react when I leave?

To Be continued