I’m up before everybody again but Jacob is in the bed next to me with his rock hard abs exposed. He had carried me into my room last night when I started crying again he didn’t ask why he just calmed me down and let me cry. After I cry out all my tears I had a shower. I expected him to leave while I was in the shower but he didn’t move he just sat there waiting fiddling with the end of the blanket. When I     returned he motioned to leave but I stopped him. I spent the rest of the night curled up in his arms his strong warm arms the arms that I know will protect me.

I roll over so that I am facing him now. He is really cute when he sleeps he muscles all relax and his face looks really boyish. But he is still Jacob. The Jacob who threatened to kill Haymitch because he got drunk and hit me. The Jacob who would take a bullet for me. The Jacob I am in love with. I run my index finger down is collar bone. I follow his jaw line. From his fore head to his chin lingering on his lips. While my finger lingers he kisses it. “Oh sorry I didn’t know you were awake,” I blush he is the only one it the world that can make me blush “I thought you were trying to wake me” he says leaning over but I move and he is stunned I am sitting on top of him  now and it is my turn to force the kisses. I lean in close and whisper “ do you love me,” he leans in closer than I thought manageable without our lips actually touching but he whispers back “no,” what yesterday he told me that he loved me but now he doesn’t love me what the hell “what?” I ask sitting back but he pulls me back in so that I am lying on top of him “what I feel for you isn’t love, it’s more than that, it’s lust, need, greed and want all mixed into one emotion, I no longer feel like it’s gravity keep me on the ground it’s you, you go somewhere I follow you die I won’t be able to live with myself.” 

This is one of the sweetest things he has ever said to me but I lean in to kiss him I hear Effie’s high pitch voice waking peeta and katniss who are in the next room. I kiss him and get off of him and find the shirt he was wearing before he got into bed I slip it on and it falls to just under my butt. I rush out and see that it was Effie talking to the preps we have breakfast, and I am still wearing Jacobs’s shirt, Kabel give me a weird look. I have my own pajamas on underneath you just can’t see them. “Nixie we have to go over your interview strategy but after that you and Jacob are free for the day,” Haymitch says but he gives peeta and katniss the whole day off.

I follow him into the sitting room, “so what’s the plan?” I ask I want to get this over and done with but I still have to deal with Effie later “well your attractive so we can use that to your advantage and the capitol know about you and Jacob so no doubt you will be asked about him,” ok this is good I can talk about Jacob and Kabel is in charge of my dress so I will look fantastic but the next thing Haymitch says surprises the hell out of me “nixie I know you won’t like this and neither will snow I want you to talk about your family not me and finnick but your mother and father, and your siblings if you can bring them into it as well, don’t  be afraid to cry,” I can’t do that no I can’t even think about my farther without getting angry about what happened to him “ I can’t he is an avox they won’t let me everybody will get angry,”  I whisper softly  “that’s the point we are trying to anger the audience trying to get them on your side and your past will do that perfectly, they will sympathize over you,”  I don’t want peoples’ pity I am one of the least sympathetic people on the planet I hate giving sympathy and I don’t accept it.

“No way! I’m not accepting their sympathy,” I exclaim “their sympathy might just save your dam life sweet heart, and they’re not going to say anything to you they will just send you the stuff you need to survive,” I knew I had pushed it to far Haymitch never shouts back when I yell at him unless I push it too far. “Haymitch I’m sorry I didn’t think of it that way,” I know he is just trying to keep me alive and keep his promises to peeta and katniss but he can’t please everyone there’s only 1 winner right. “Go talk to Effie I’m done here,” he is really upset I want to make it up to him I just don’t know how and he is still keeping something from me I can hear it in his voice. I get up and walk to my room I can’t be bothered to find Effie and now my ankle is killing me I should of told somebody about that but I would have to explain my showing of so I didn’t. Effie comes in and hand me a long dress and some high heel shoes “get changed,” she is annoyed that she has to spend time with me and only me we are fine when there is somebody else in the room but when it is just us it is like world war 4 we were told about the world wars and how the dark days were the last and the human race swore to never have arguments over power or land like that again this is the reason we have the hunger games again the dress I am wearing goes past my feet and to the floor and the heels don’t help my ankle I am pretty good at walking in heels. Because of Effie she always tries to make me wear them everywhere. I walk out of the bathroom hitching up the end my dress so that I can walk without tripping over. “No, no, no! You don’t pick up your dress under any circumstances.” She screeches slapping away my hands “Effie this dress is made for someone taller than me. Ask any of the stylist they would say it has to be altered,” I snap back at her she knows I’m right and pins the bottom up just enough so that my toes are only just visible it is easier to walk and I know I have a ha-ha suck it sort of smile on my face but it doesn’t affect Effie “shoulders back, smile more, a normal smile not a fake stuck up smile like me I don’t want to be here but I am still smiling ,” she constantly reminds me she sounds like a broken record player it is so irritating and then when I finally get it right my foot feels like it is about to drop off. I get changed back into the jeans and tee-shirt I was wearing before and pull on a pair of boots to hide the swelling in my ankle Jacob comes into my room and notices my ankle how I’m not putting much weight on it “what she do to you your walking all lopsided,” he jokes and I finally explain who I was showing off and twisted it “6 inch high heels don’t help,” I say while he is rubbing it we are called to lunch this is when I have to say goodbye to Jacob for the day I have spend the rest of the day with Kabel getting ready for tonight, the interview