got tagged by seoullite- a while ago so here it finally is

(featuring my cat trying to eat everything in my room and then hissing at me when i make him stop)

1. sexual orientation
that means sexuality right? i'm straight

2. do you smoke?
no.

3. do you drink?
only holy water

4. do you take drugs?
nope, never

5. age you get mistaken for?
i've heard junior in high school before (that's the highest i think)

6. have tatoos?
i'm just a baby of course not

7. want any tattoos?
no.

8. got any piercings?
no lol

9. want any piercings?
no

10. best friend?
idk if i have one anymore tbh

11. relationship status?
forever single yo

12. biggest turn ons?
if you're not real you already have a 40% higher chance of me liking you

13. biggest turn offs?
thinking you're the best thing ever

14. favorite movie?
i hate 'favorite ___' questions. i don't freakin know

15. i'll love you if...
you love me and care about me. i'd like to think i have high standards, but i could honestly fall for any boy who is generally nice and supports me no matter what

16. someone you miss
i miss my best friend. or, rather, i miss her being my best friend.

17. most traumatic experience
i remember once when i was really little before my parents got divorced. my mom and dad were yelling and crying and i told them to stop crying and that it was going to be okay. i guess that kinda scarred me.

18. a fact about your personality
honestly, i can't really think of one solid fact that always remains true about me. i think my personality changes very often. so, i guess my fact is that?

19. what i hate most about myself
i hate that i can't keep a friend for more than 2 years tops and that i've never had a real best friend i can tell everything to. i hate that i don't trust people, i guess. and that i'm way too stubborn. and i push people away. and i hate that i act like everything is fine and act like my problems don't exist because i'm supposed to be this innocent, precious, little girl who does everything right. sorry, that got a little deep.

20. what i love most about myself?
i like that i adjust well to new things. nothing in my life has ever remained the same, but i always find a way through, i guess.

21. what i want to be when i grow up
i have no clue at all. i always tell people "author!" cause that's easy and they'll think that's interesting. so, yeah, idk

22. my relationship status with my siblings
i don't really talk to my step siblings at all. i don't really like them, honestly. my sister is okay, though. i've always really looked up to her, but i wish we could honestly sit down and talk to each other about serious, deep things, because she's probably the person i trust the most at this point.

23. my relationship status with parents
my dad is pretty crazy. i feel like he only does stuff for his benefit. we yell a lot and he makes me uncomfortable a lot, but i still love him. my mom and i the past 3ish years have had an awful relationship. i was really bad to her, honestly. she's very sensitive and sweet, and i'm kind of the opposite. this year we've gotten along much better, though. i love her. my stepdad is cool, but he ticks me off a lot. i don't know what else to say about him. i think my stepmom is crazy. she's a "counselor" but she's probably the worst one i've ever met. she pries into your business and always makes you uncomfortable when you do one little thing wrong. she also acts very fake all the time. idk what's up with her.

24.  my idea of a perfect date
is it too weird to say i don't want to go on dates? dates make things awkward and too formal. i'd rather just hang out with him regularly without making a huge deal out of it. i want my boyfriend/husband to be my best friend, and going on awkward dates won't help that.

25. my biggest pet peeves
i hate when people say "libary" to the point where i want to strange them. i also just generally hate people who always act uninterested when you're talking to them. even if you're not happy, show interest in what i'm talking about, please.

26. description of the boy i like
i don't like any boys irl tbh but if we go into the FAKE boys topic, i could talk all day,,,,

27. a description of the person i dislike the most
ex-friend from 3rd grade lol why?? short, brunette, thinks she's better than everyone.

28. a reason i've lied to a friend
to protect myself. that's about it.

29. what i hate most about school
this year it's that i don't know who my real friends are, or if i even have any. last year it would've been something more simple, like homework

30. what my last text message says
"i'll just do it tomorrow, i guess"

31. what words upset me the most
anything that comes out of (input exfriend)'s mouth, at this point. but honestly, it goes back to that uninterested thing i said before. if you sound uninterested in what i say, it upsets me.

32. what words make me feel the best
complements always make me feel good, i guess. or saying hi to me when you see me in person. that... really makes me happy for some reason. like, just saying hi to me makes me so much more confident and happy. like, you didn't have to say that at all, but you did anyway. that's so precious and sweet.

33. a wish that i repeatedly wished for on 11:11
i don't do 11:11 stuff, but years ago, back in 2011 at 11:11 i wished to be a mermaid, if that counts for anything.

34. what i find attractive in boys
i like guys who don't have that typical shaved head thing. you can tell a guy's a jerk if his hair is cut like that. (not all guys, i know) i also seem to be attracted to guys who aren't super manly. they need to embrace their feelings.

35. where i would like to live
i like it where i live. it's not the best place, but i can't imagine myself anywhere else.

36. one of my insecurities
mainly just my personality. there's a few physical things, too, but i'd rather not talk about them

37. my childhood career choice
i wanted to be a famous singer or actress. and wow, look at me now. a kid who was in honor choir for 2 years and is now taking drama. but i'm not going anywhere with my "talent"

38. my favorite ice cream flavor
vanilla is always good. i also like cookie dough

39. who i wish i could be
anyone who feels more secure in their friendships

40. where i want to be right now
i want to be right here in my bed. for forever. not at school tomorrow.

41. the last thing i ate
my pride. //i don't remember tbh

42. sexiest person who comes to my mind immediately
christ hemsworth mm mmmmmm

43. a random fact about anything
i learned a few days ago that my best friend in 6th grade was doing really bad stuff and lied to me about pretty much everything! if she reads this hi! thanks for keeping secrets! :)

yeah, so that's it

it was really long and most of it was sappy, sorry

i'll go to bed now..