Chapter 28

YN couldn’t sleep that night. Her mind replayed the chat messages over and over, each word tearing into her, making her question everything she had experienced with Namjoon. How could she face him now, knowing that at one point, he had participated in conversations that mocked her? That he had let his friends reduce her to a challenge a virgin at 40, someone not worth taking seriously.

She lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, her chest heavy with confusion. Namjoon had been nothing but kind to her these past few weeks. He hadn’t responded to those hurtful messages in days, and she wanted to believe that he had changed, that what they shared now was genuine. But the seed of doubt was planted. It gnawed at her, slowly chipping away at the affection she had started to feel for him.

Namjoon stirred beside her, his warm body shifting in his sleep as he pulled her closer, his arm wrapping around her waist protectively. It was the same embrace that had brought her comfort before, but now, it felt heavy. Her emotions churned, torn between the reality of his tenderness now and the harshness of what she had read earlier.

Morning came too soon, and YN found herself sitting in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, staring out of the window. She had to confront him, but how? How could she bring up the texts without it all falling apart?

Namjoon walked into the kitchen, his hair still slightly messy from sleep, a towel slung around his neck. He smiled softly at her as he poured himself a cup of coffee, his body still radiating warmth from the shower. For a moment, YN allowed herself to bask in the domesticity of it all the peaceful routine of mornings together. But the weight of what she knew kept pulling her back.

“You’ve been quiet since last night,” Namjoon said, leaning against the counter as he sipped his coffee. “Everything okay?”

YN looked up at him, trying to read his expression. He seemed genuinely concerned, but that only made it harder. She couldn’t pretend anymore.

"Namjoon..." Her voice wavered as she set down her mug. She took a deep breath, steadying herself for what was coming next. "I saw something. On your phone."

Namjoon’s brow furrowed slightly, his eyes searching her face for a clue. "What do you mean?"

She swallowed hard, feeling her heart race as she forced the words out. "Your chats with your friends... from a few weeks ago. About me."

His expression shifted, a mixture of confusion and concern crossing his face. "What... what did you see?"

She looked away, unable to meet his eyes. "They were making fun of me... about my age, about being a virgin. And they said you... that you... that you were just doing this because of some dare."

Silence filled the room. YN could feel the tension in the air as Namjoon’s face paled. He set his mug down, his eyes wide with shock, and then something she couldn’t quite place. Regret? Guilt?

"YN... that was weeks ago. I never meant for you to see that." His voice was low, filled with an emotion that made her heart ache even more.

"But it’s true, isn’t it?" she whispered, her voice trembling. "At first, it was just a game to you. I was just a joke to your friends. A challenge."

Namjoon stepped closer, his hands reaching out to her, but she recoiled slightly, the pain too fresh. "Yes... yes, it started like that," he admitted, his voice pained. "I won’t lie to you. In the beginning, they made those comments, and I... I didn’t stop them. I didn’t realize how serious it was going to get between us."

Tears welled up in YN’s eyes, her chest tight as she listened to him. "So, it was all just for fun?"

"No," Namjoon said quickly, his voice desperate as he stepped closer. "Not anymore. Yes, they joked, and yes, I was an idiot for not stopping them. But things changed, YN. I changed. This... what we have, it’s real now. I’ve stopped talking to them about you because I don’t care about what they think anymore."

She shook her head, tears falling as she tried to process everything. "How can I believe that? How do I know this isn’t just part of your game?"

Namjoon knelt in front of her, his eyes filled with guilt and sincerity. "Because I fell for you, YN. I didn’t expect it to happen, but it did. You’re not a game to me anymore. You’re everything."

Her heart pounded in her chest as his words washed over her. She wanted to believe him so badly, but the betrayal still lingered in the back of her mind. How could she trust him after everything?

"I’m sorry," Namjoon whispered, his voice thick with emotion. "I was stupid, and I never should’ve let them talk about you like that. But I swear to you, I’m not that guy anymore. I’m not playing with you. I care about you."

YN stared at him, her chest heaving with the weight of her emotions. The pain, the confusion, the love she had started to feel for him they all collided within her, leaving her torn. Could she trust him again? Could she forgive him for the past?

Namjoon’s hands trembled as he reached for hers, his eyes pleading. "Please, YN. Let me make it right."

The room was silent, save for the sound of their breathing, the tension palpable between them. YN closed her eyes, trying to find clarity in the chaos of her thoughts.

Finally, she spoke, her voice soft but firm. "I need time."

Namjoon nodded, his face a mixture of relief and sadness. "I understand. Take all the time you need. I’ll wait."

As she stood up from the table, her heart felt heavy, but a small glimmer of hope remained. Maybe, just maybe, things could be salvaged between them. But for now, she needed space to figure it all out.

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