Chapter 21: The First Time

Namjoon hovered over her, his breath warm against her skin, his body radiating heat as he leaned down, lips barely brushing hers. YN’s heart was pounding, her entire body trembling with anticipation, fear, and excitement. She had never imagined that this would be her reality, losing her virginity to a 25-year-old playboy who had entered her life like a whirlwind, turning everything she thought she knew about herself upside down.

For forty years, YN had been waiting, holding onto her own thoughts of what love and intimacy were supposed to be. She had imagined this moment countless times, in the secret corners of her mind. But this... this was nothing like she had imagined. It was raw, intense, and overwhelming in every possible way.

She wasn’t ready, not fully. Yet at the same time, she felt a desperate need, a burning desire that made her ache from the inside out. The way Namjoon’s hands explored her skin, slow and deliberate, sent a shiver down her spine, making her body come alive in ways she had never known before.

“You sure?” Namjoon’s voice was soft, almost tender as he paused, his fingers grazing her cheek. “We don’t have to rush this.”

YN swallowed hard, her mouth dry as she nodded, even though a part of her was terrified. “Yes. I want this... I need this.”

The words were true, even if they were spoken through the haze of fear and uncertainty. She needed to feel this connection, to finally let go of the barriers she had kept up for so long. And Namjoon... despite everything she knew about him, despite his reputation, she trusted him with this moment.

Namjoon’s gaze softened as he dipped his head, his lips pressing gently against hers in a slow, lingering kiss that sent a wave of heat through her. He was taking his time, guiding her into the moment, making sure she was comfortable, even though the anticipation was building like a storm between them.

His hands moved lower, sliding over her bare skin, every touch igniting her nerves. YN gasped softly when his hand trailed between her legs, teasing her in ways that made her body arch instinctively into him. She wasn’t used to this, the intensity of being touched, the pleasure that flooded her senses with every movement he made.

“Namjoon...” she whispered, her voice shaky as she felt him adjust his position, his body pressing closer, aligning with hers.

Her heart raced as the realisation of what was about to happen settled over her like a heavy weight. She was going to lose her virginity. Finally, At forty years old.

The thought would have seemed ridiculous to her once, but now... with Namjoon here, the reality of it made her feel both vulnerable and powerful at the same time.

Namjoon hesitated for a moment, his fingers gently parting her, and she felt the pressure of him against her, the warmth of his skin making her pulse race.

“It’s okay,” he murmured, his voice filled with reassurance as he looked into her eyes. “Just breathe.”

She nodded, though her breath came in shallow bursts. The pressure increased, and suddenly, pain shot through her, sharp and unexpected. She bit her lip, her hands gripping his shoulders as the discomfort settled into her core.

“YN,” Namjoon’s voice was filled with concern as he stilled, his body tense. “Are you okay? I can stop—”

“No,” she gasped, shaking her head. “Don’t stop. Please.”

It hurt, more than she had anticipated, but there was something more than pain. Something she couldn’t quite explain. It was burning, an ache that ran deep, but there was a strange pleasure behind it. Her body was fighting against the pain, but at the same time, yearning for more.

Namjoon moved slowly, gently pushing further, but it wasn’t easy. YN’s face twisted in discomfort, a few tears slipping from the corners of her eyes as the pain intensified. She wasn’t prepared for this, not fully. But she didn’t want to stop. She couldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon murmured, his forehead pressing against hers as he paused again. “You’re bleeding. I don’t want to hurt you.”

The words sent a shock through her, and for a moment, she considered telling him to stop. But no. She had waited long enough, and despite the pain, she wanted this. She wanted to feel what it was like to be connected with him in this way.

“Don’t stop,” she whispered, her voice filled with determination despite the tears that blurred her vision. “Please, Namjoon... keep going.”

Namjoon’s jaw clenched, his gaze filled with concern as he searched her face for any sign that she wanted to back out. But she didn’t. Her hands tightened on his arms, her body trembling as she silently begged him to continue.

With a soft curse under his breath, Namjoon nodded, his movements slow and deliberate as he pushed deeper, finally filling her completely. YN gasped at the sensation, a mixture of pain and pleasure coursing through her veins like fire. She couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down her cheeks, the intensity of it all overwhelming her in ways she hadn’t expected.

But there was pleasure too. Beneath the sharp ache of her first time, there was a warmth, a tingling sensation that made her heart race even faster. She could feel Namjoon inside her, every movement he made sent ripples of sensation through her body.

Her hands gripped his shoulders tighter, her nails digging into his skin as she cried out softly, her body shaking with the intensity of it all. The pain hadn’t gone away, but it had softened, blending into the pleasure that was slowly taking over.

Namjoon’s pace remained slow, careful, as he watched her, his brows furrowed in concentration. “Just relax,” he whispered, his voice soothing despite the tension in his muscles. “I’ve got you.”

YN nodded, biting her lip as her body adjusted, her breaths coming out in short gasps. She could feel the pressure building inside her, the sensation growing more intense with each passing second.

And then it happened. The pleasure began to outweigh the pain, her body melting into his as she surrendered completely. The sensation was overwhelming, almost too much to bear, but she didn’t want it to end.

Tears still streamed down her cheeks, but they were mixed with the joy of finally experiencing what she had waited for her entire life. She had never thought it would be like this so intense, so raw, so painfully beautiful.

“Namjoon,” she whispered, her voice breaking as she held onto him, her body trembling with the force of it all.

He kissed her softly, his lips gentle against her tear-streaked face, and in that moment, YN knew she had given herself completely to him.

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