Chapter 10: Blank Canvas

Namjoon stood frozen as YN stepped away from him, her words still lingering in the air. The rejection wasn’t harsh, but it stung. He could see the hesitation in her eyes, the nervous way she looked away from him, unsure of how to explain herself. His heart felt heavy as he tried to process what had just happened.

"Namjoon," she began, her voice shaky, "I’m too old for this."

Namjoon shook his head, trying to shrug off the ache in his chest. "There’s no age limit for love, YN," he replied softly, his voice firm but gentle. He wasn’t about to let her dismiss what they had so easily.

She bit her lip, still refusing to look him in the eye. "This is wrong, Namjoon. I’m 40 years old. There’s a huge age gap between us. It’s not right."

The words seemed to hang in the air between them, and Namjoon could feel the tension tightening around them. He stepped closer, searching her face for some understanding, but YN continued to avoid his gaze.

"And if you’re thinking that older means better more experienced," she hesitated, her voice faltering, "you’re wrong. I’m... I’m a virgin."

Namjoon’s heart stopped for a moment, the weight of her confession settling in. He had known YN, was single, but the idea that she had never been with anyone was a shock. His mind raced, but he kept his face neutral, not wanting to hurt her with his reaction. The last thing he wanted was for her to feel embarrassed or ashamed. But inside, he was floored. He had been with many women before, each one at least somewhat experienced. But YN, YN was a complete blank slate.

Namjoon’s hand moved instinctively, gently cupping her face. His thumb traced the soft skin of her cheek, forcing her to look at him. "It doesn’t matter," he said quietly, his eyes locking onto hers. "It really doesn’t, YN. I can teach you everything." His voice was soft but filled with a certainty that sent a shiver down her spine. "You’re like a blank canvas, and I’d love to paint you with my colours."

YN’s breath hitched at his words, her mind racing as she tried to process everything. She had expected judgement, perhaps even ridicule, but instead, Namjoon’s eyes were filled with warmth, understanding, and something deeper desire.

His fingers gently slid a stray strand of her hair behind her ear, his touch sending sparks down her spine. "Let me kiss you," he whispered, his voice barely audible. His lips hovered just inches from hers, and she could feel the heat radiating off his skin. "Please. I want to kiss you so badly."

YN’s heart pounded in her chest, her mind screaming at her to run, but her body stayed rooted in place. Her voice was small when she finally spoke, almost a whisper. "Okay."

Namjoon didn’t waste a second. His lips crashed into hers, the kiss filled with a hunger that took YN by surprise. Her stomach flipped as her body reacted in ways she hadn’t expected. It was overwhelming the warmth of his lips, the gentle pressure, the way his hands cupped her face so tenderly. But as much as she wanted to reciprocate, she didn’t know how. Her lips remained still, her mind racing with uncertainty.

Namjoon felt her hesitation but didn’t pull back immediately. He poured every ounce of his emotions into that kiss, letting her feel just how much he wanted her, how much he cared for her. His lips moved against hers, slow and deliberate, as if trying to guide her.

Finally, he pulled away, but his forehead remained pressed against hers. His breath was warm on her skin as he whispered, "It’s okay. Just follow my lead." He leaned back in, his lips brushing against hers softly, giving her the chance to ease into it.

This time, YN tried to move her lips in sync with his. It was awkward at first, unfamiliar, but Namjoon’s patience put her at ease. She could feel him smiling through the kiss, silently encouraging her. The more she moved, the more she realised how different it felt from what she had imagined all these years. Her nerves slowly melted away, and she found herself responding, her lips moving more naturally against his.

Namjoon’s arms slid around her waist, pulling her closer until her small frame was flush against his. The kiss deepened as he tilted her head slightly, guiding her through every motion. He could feel her slowly giving in, her body relaxing against his, and it made him smile even more. Her inexperience didn’t bother him in fact, it made every small movement she made all the more special.

As the kiss continued, YN’s breaths became shallower, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she struggled to keep up. Namjoon sensed it, gently breaking the kiss and pulling back slightly. He looked down at her, his eyes filled with a mix of amusement and tenderness as she gasped for air.

"You’re out of breath already?" he teased, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

YN tried to catch her breath, her cheeks flushed as she avoided his gaze, feeling embarrassed by her reaction. But Namjoon didn’t mind. In fact, he found it endearing. He watched her with a soft smile, admiring the way she looked flustered yet beautiful.

"It’s okay," he said quietly, his hand still resting on her cheek. "That was just a simple kiss, baby. We’ve got so much more to explore."

His words sent a rush of warmth through YN’s body, and she couldn’t help but feel a strange mix of anticipation and fear. She knew what Namjoon was offering something she had never experienced before. But the idea of letting herself go, of being vulnerable, terrified her.

Namjoon could see the hesitation in her eyes, but he didn’t push. Instead, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "We’ll go slow. I’ll teach you everything," he murmured, his voice soft and reassuring. His fingers traced the outline of her face, gentle and patient.

YN felt something shift inside her. For the first time in a long while, she wasn’t afraid of what was to come. She still had her reservations, her fears, but with Namjoon’s reassuring presence, she felt safe.

As Namjoon pulled her closer once again, YN rested her head against his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. She felt his arms wrap around her securely, and for a moment, all her worries faded away. There was nothing but the warmth of his embrace and the quiet whisper of the waves in the background.

Whatever came next, she was ready.

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