Forget this. Forget him. Forget everything.

I dumped the remainder of the pills into my hand, dry swallowing them all at once. Count them. 12. That's enough.

No hesitation. No temptation. Forget everything.

I sat and waited. I waited for the seizures. I waited for the sleepiness. I waited for the blurred vision, the confusion, the fever, the weakness... As if I wasn't already weak enough.

I was weak without him. I was weak even with him. I just want to forget everything.

It took much longer that I'd like it to, but it finally came. I was tired. I was confused. I was sick. I couldn't see. I was weak. I could barely move. The air felt like water. I was swimming through a lake, but the water wasn't water. It was far from it. Regrets. Depression. Attempt after attempt, but to no luck. Never any luck.

"Is this what he would've wanted?"

"He isn't here!"

"But he is."

"You always say that, but you're lying! You're lying!"

"You're one to talk."

"Don't bring that shit up! All of this is your fault!"

"Your fault. Your fault. Your fault."

The voices grew louder and louder. They never stopped. They had always been in the back of my mind, but now they were there. In front of me. They had a face. They had a body. They were a living being.

I pushed one, but it did nothing but evaporate. I pushed another. Gone. And another. Gone. They were all gone. Except for one.

I ran up to it, ready to attack. But I stopped.

It's him. It's fucking him.

"J-Jay?" I swear to god, if this is another one of their cruel jokes...

"Tim...? Is that... you?"

It's him. It's fucking him.

I extended my arms, holding him in a close embrace. It had been so long since I had got to see him. So long since I had got to hear him. So long since I had got to touch him.

I began to cry. I promised myself that I wouldn't, but I did. I cried until I had no tears left. And when those tears were gone...

he vanished.

Evaporated into thin air. I knew it. I fucking knew it! It wasn't him. It'll never be him, because he's dead. He's fucking dead and he's never coming back!

"I'll fucking kill you!" I screamed at the air as I broke down. I broke down into what I used to be. What I promised myself that I would never become again.

I don't want this. I don't want any of this.

I fell to the floor. I cried and cried, realizing what I had become.

"Just end it! End it right now!"

"As you wish."

A second passed. Two. Three. Then...

I was falling.