Judged by @loveableletters

Podium:

Cruel Empathy by @EmmeMoore86 🥇

The Circle of the Paw by @MichaelSToledano 🥈

Prince of Dawn by @jachinthebox🥉

Congratulations to all who entered! It was certainly a tough call at the end of the day, as everyone's submissions were outstanding.

Reviews:

Cruel Empathy
By @EmmeMoore86

Ongoing | Mature!

Cruel Empathy is an action-packed tale of fantasy and adventure with two parallel worlds, much like what is seen in The Cruel Prince (Holly Black) and A Curse so Dark and Lonely (Brigid Kemmerer).

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LOVE the exposition! Your grammar is exceptional, and it compliments your writing style. The way you started your story off with some pleasant sensory details rather than an overload of dialogue is very nice, as well.

Another lovely detail I noticed was the way you deliver Anna's inner dialogue with herself. You perfectly portray her thoughts and evaluations of the world around her. This makes your writing captivating and lends insight as to her character.

This isn't directly related to your writing itself, but it's very promising to see you've made an effort to go through and edit/revise (hence the little note at the top of Chapter 1.2). Attention to detail is very indicative of a great story! Also, I definitely agree with the split you made here, as it allowed you to sneak in an awesome cliffhanger.

WOW, your dialogue is fantastic! It's so on-genre, so natural. I truly envy you for that.

Even though this is written from a cognizant narrator's perspective, you've done a masterful job of still addressing all of Anna's emotions and thoughts. I personally prefer first-person narration, but that's just a preference, and I actually really enjoyed the way you've constructed this story. The prose overall was so refreshing; just poetic enough to match the fantastical nature of your story without going overboard. Such a good read.

Super cool how you expressed Anna's first impressions of the world she wakes up in. Her responses are highly believable, which makes her a more interesting and relatable character. It's hard to achieve this effect, but you've done it!

I didn't notice any repetition in your vocabulary whatsoever. Many writers struggle to conjure a variety of synonyms to keep their work dynamic, but your writing is so natural. It flows beautifully.

Random and overly specific praise: The introductions between Fin and Anna and Ryevin and Anna are impressively natural. It's often hard to craft these scenes, as it seems easiest to just say "Oh, by the way, I'm Anna", or something like that, but yours are elevated and much more realistic. I don't know why I noticed that, haha.

If I had to be nitpicky and make one critique, I'd suggest more of an emphasis on Anna's homesickness/terror immediately upon her arrival. It comes later, at a comfortable time, but I feel like this theme could have been developed slightly sooner. This didn't detract from the reading experience or anything, though!

GREAT JOB!!

The Circle of the Paw

By @MichaelSToledano

Ongoing

The Circle of the Paw is a never-before-seen tale of adventure from the perspective of two ordinary pets. Readers seeking a break from traditional fantasy elements, look no further!

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I loved the way Akhi's perception of Abigail and Jacob's disappearance hinges on his limited feline understanding. The banter between Akhi and Misha over Abigail's potential ailments - typical cat illnesses like worms and fleas - is a great insight as to the cat's inquisitiveness.

A dual-POV! This is a clever touch, especially since Misha and Akhi have such differing personalities. I love how Misha's chapters reveal her motherly qualities and inner thoughts, despite her hesitation to voice these thoughts in dialogue. Also, the banners at the top of each chapter are awesome!

The animals' personifications were fantastic. Cats and dogs aren't known to "clear their throats", etc., but the fact that they do in this story is reveals the intricate connection between animals in their world. This kind of writing also instills a sense of isolation, like the pets are living in a fishbowl and only their interactions with each other matter— always a nice effect, especially for this genre.

Very interesting concept, too. I was intrigued by the world of The Circle of the Paw, especially the magnitude the title of Mejay holds. The scene with the dogs was slightly terrifying at first, as you've done a splendid job of intimidating readers by a small pack of canines, but their recognition of Akhi's fur patch just adds to the intrigue of the animals' little world.

And, I couldn't possibly fail to acknowledge the cover. It's modern, on-brand, and pleasantly Lion King-esque. Love it! The little white crescent along Akhi's flank is a beautiful detail that gives readers a hint as to its significance before diving in. Easter eggs like this are so much fun.

Akhi's perspective on the world is intriguing and unique; you don't often find a fantasy novel written from a cat's point of view. However, some of his cognitions and realizations are very unlikely. For example, Akhi knows when Monday comes, but he uses "moon cycles" to measure time otherwise? Maybe this is just another element of the fiction, though. I digress.

Rebellion: Prince of Dawn
By @jachinthebox
Ongoing

Rebellion: Prince of Dawn is an enthralling fantasy saga of likely - and unlikely - heroes, some wielding the mystical power of jynx. It delivers a lovable world of characters and concepts via a unique prose.

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Immediately upon beginning chapter 1.1, I was impressed with the subtle foil between the protagonists disarray from just waking, and their encounter with other nobles. This is a classic yet ever-invigorating bit of insight into the main character's humanity; even the little details, like "I rubbed my eyes", reveal Decan's intrinsic imperfections leading up to an epic plot.

The intricately-spun web of characters and world-building concepts is very impressive. You've found a way to take a classic genre, which is too-often stripped of its originality, and make it new and exciting. Even by the first chapter, I was absorbed in the stoic-yet-considerate narrator's elaborate universe.

The prose is incredibly refreshing! High fantasy is typically loaded with unnecessary fluff vocabulary that makes it a chore to read. However, Rebellion: Prince of Dawn manages to capture the best of both worlds by incorporating literary elegance and readability throughout. This is the perfect story to binge for hours on end; there is truly no tedium whatsoever.

In terms of grammar, you've done a marvelous job! I'm no English professor, but I can profess with condense that your sentence structure and use of punctuation is nearly perfect, if not perfect.

I especially enjoyed the contrast between the diction used by different characters. There is something so charming about effortless-yet-exquisite dialogue coming from a protagonist, to be sure.

And, of course, I can't help but love the multiple POVs used! The amount of effort you put into these installments is abundantly clear through the thoughtfully crafted soliloquies and interactions later in the story.

Although I enjoy the dialogue-heavy body of your writing, at times the lack of hesitation between lines comes off as a bit unnatural. I'm somewhat unfamiliar with this style, so maybe it's just me, but Decan's responses to other characters feel uncannily rapid, as if he anticipates what other people will say to him before they speak. If the thoughts and feelings of the characters are to be left for interpretation, perhaps this can be aided by both physical details (such as body language) and verbal cues (which you have clearly mastered!).

Again, maybe this is a stylistic choice, but the lengthiness of your chapters certainly caught my attention. I mentioned earlier that the breeziness o your writing is quite pleasant; however, there isn't much obvious structure to the events taking place in each scene. For instance, we went directly from a conference with the lords to breakfast with Joy to training proposals with Valentine...all in one chapter. I understand many Wattpad readers enjoy this format, though. Just nitpicking because I'm accustomed to Western novels in this sense.

RUNNER-UPS:

Forgotten Love: Two Conflicted Hearts
By @DasiaReed
Ongoing | Mature!

A captivating teen drama, Forgotten Love: Two Conflicted Hearts is a romantic installment you won't want to miss!

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Ciara's attitude towards English class is very clear right from the get-go, thanks to your use of modern slang such as "like seriously". It makes her character more believable in terms of diction.

I love the diversity you've incorporated into your book, especially the touches of mental illness representation. It's also nice to see a nice ratio of dialogue to blocking in the story.

However, I noticed a few grammatical issues.

— It's important to add commas periodically in your sentences to break them up into more comprehensible chunks. Run-on sentences should also be avoided. For example, your opening line: "The bell rings I groan annoyed sometimes I wonder why are we even being taught English, we don't even need it in the real world, like seriously." This could be more effectively delivered as: "The bell rings and I groan, annoyed. Sometimes I wonder why we are even being taught English; we don't even need it in the real world. Like, seriously." This format applies to all areas of writing, as it helps the reader to understand the pace and tone of the dialogue.

— Also, to avoid confusion, be careful with the mechanics of your dialogue. Separate the things different characters say into individual paragraphs. Otherwise, it looks like the first speaker is responding to themselves. Take this, for instance:

"Someone had a rough night?" I say laughing She yawns rolling her eyes at me " no I stayed up all night for my history exam you should too but anyways I heard there's some transfers coming this year " she says applying eyeliner.

vs.

"Someone had a rough night?" I say, laughing.

She yawns, rolling her eyes at me. "No, I stayed up all night for my history exam— you should, too. But anyways, I heard there's some transfers coming this year," she says, applying eyeliner.

The second option flows a bit better and clarifies who is saying and doing what.

In my opinion, there are also too many characters thrown into the first few chapters. There isn't much of an introduction to anyone, and the plot is scarcely developed from the beginning. This makes it slightly difficult to follow at times. Don't get me wrong— having a large cast is completely fine! In fact, this makes for a very dynamic story. I'd just recommend spending more time acknowledging each of their personalities and backgrounds so that readers feel more of a connection to them. It's cool that you took the time to embed character depictions in each chapter, though!

Overall, I think readers will thoroughly enjoy this love story! It's addicting and relatable— two key elements to an enthralling teen fiction.

Forbidden Love

By @uniquemeScutie

Ongoing | Mature!

Forbidden Love is a classic tale of werewolf romance and action, perfect for fantasy enthusiasts and lovers of series like The Vampire Diaries.

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A very thrilling beginning, indeed. Even with so little context, Dylan's fury is quite evident. It says a lot about his motives and priorities.

However, the werewolf genre is very niche and requires a bit of background knowledge to fully understand right away. I'm not familiar with this area of fantasy, so the pack dynamics you described in this story are slightly foreign. It would be immensely helpful that, if you were to edit this, you included some explanations of terminology at the beginning. For instance, why not give a summary of what wolfsbane is for those who aren't sure? You did this in chapter 2 when introducing yellow wolfsbane!

It is also a bit hard to follow the dialogue due to grammatical concerns. Don't forget to capitalize the first letters of sentences and add periods at the ends. These are basic grammar principles that you'll want to be familiar with as you go forward. :)

Make sure to specify after each quotation who is speaking, and whom they are addressing. Otherwise, things become confusing.

Very entertaining story so far! It's not completed yet, but I'm interested to see how things shape up for these two packs. 

Thank you to everyone who entered into this category!