a/n: just to avoid confusion. Katherine and Patrick are Collins birth parents. they died when she was 12, and when she was 13 she was adopted by Eleanor and Marcus. Katherine and Patrick were called "mama" and "papa". Collins now calls her adoptive parents "mom" and "dad", finding it easier since that's not what she called her birth parents.
~

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i know we cut all the ties but
you're never really leaving,
and part of me wants you
back but i know it won't work
like that...

~ gracie abrams / i know it won't work

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COLLINS STILL COULDN'T BELIEVE THIS WAS REALLY HAPPENING. Was she actually back? Okay, it wasn't technically the same place, she was raised in "The Cut" for most of her life, but for some reason, even just being in Figure 8 gave her a vibe she couldn't quite put a name to.

"Everything alright honey?" She turned to see Marcus, her adoptive dad (whom she'd been calling "dad" since she was 14), approaching. "Mom and I are gonna get started unpacking, why don't you take a look around, maybe go explore the backyard?"

"Okay," she mumbled. Her dad was worried about her. They knew it was a bit of a risk, moving closer to the life that Collins was whisked away from.

But he was presented with a new work promotion / opportunity, and Collins was the one who pointed out that they'd be stupid to turn it down just for her sake. She'd told them (and herself) that she'd be fine. Eventually.

After a couple more minutes of standing in front of their new house, Collins decided to do what he'd suggested, and she wandered in to the backyard. A flutter of excitement appeared when she spotted the big pool, but it quickly died down. As much as Collins wanted to be excited, she couldn't quite allow herself to feel that emotion just yet.

10 minutes of slowly wandering around the outside of the house later, she made her way back around and went in through the front door. Their family only consisted of Marcus, Eleanor, and Collins.

... But they were moving in to a 5 bedroom, 3 bathroom mansion, as Collins called it. She always knew they were wealthy, but now she really knew. It was quite an upgrade from their 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom home.

"Collins, come up here!" She glanced up to see Eleanor (aka "mom") beckoning to her from the top of the staircase. She linked her arm through Collins', and excitedly pulled her down the hall, stopping at each of the empty bedrooms. "I know there's a bedroom downstairs, but the other four are up here and I figured you'd want to be up here with dad and I, but it's completely up to you. Ours is the master bedroom at that end of the hall. You can look around all of them again and just let me know which one you want to be yours. The moving trucks should be here within an hour, and we can tell the movers where to start putting your boxes."

In her mind, Collins had already decided which room she wanted. As soon as she saw the little area with a small bookshelf below it, she imagined herself curling up with big fluffy blankets, and reading a book or watching a movie there.

"You've already decided haven't you?" Eleanor glanced at her daughter with a mischievous grin. "Let me guess..." She led her back towards the second room they looked at. "This one."

"You know me so well," Collins laughed.

"Hmm, it's almost like you're my daughter and I've lived with you every day for the last few years!" They looked at each other and burst out laughing. Okay, so maybe this wouldn't be so bad. She had her mom and dad, maybe she could get used to this new chapter in life.

The movers arrived exactly an hour later, and Collins spent the remainder of her day helping her dad put her bed frame and bigger furniture back together, and then rearranging the rest of her room.

As more time passed, she actually found herself getting excited about their new home, not even bothering to come down when her dad called up to her saying the pizza was just delivered. She only stopped to eat when her mom brought up 2 slices, saying she had to get something in her system.

Finally just before 11pm, Collins laid back on her bed, and decided that (for now), her room was complete.

(a/n: photos all from pinterest. first pic is like the vibe of her bed & the decorations around it, second is the size of the bed lol. the rest are just other things I had in mind for her room. just pretend they match hah)

hi random person in the bed skdjdjdj

As she looked around her new room, Collins felt guilty again. It wasn't that long ago that a room like this was nothing but a dream. Marcus and Eleanor were aware that their daughter was well loved before they adopted her, and also that she was pretty much raised in a lower-class family.

So while they by no means wanted to replace her parents, they wanted to give her the world, at least the parts of it that they could afford. And considering the amount that now sat in Collins college fund after just a few years, that was a lot.

She felt odd, knowing that the life she now lived was one that her mama and papa couldn't have even thought of in their wildest dreams. They were lucky enough to take a one week vacation in the summer and maybe a week off around Christmas, but that was about all the vacation they could afford.

And even then, most of the time they just stayed home, rarely traveling outside of the state. But just last year alone, Collins, Marcus and Eleanor spent an entire 2 months traveling around Europe.

One night about a year after she was adopted, Collins confided in her mom about how she felt. She was immediately pulled in for a hug. Eleanor said that while she was sorry she never knew the wonderful people who raised Collins, but she could tell that they loved her very much and raised a wonderful young girl. And they'd want her to be happy.

She knew she was extremely fortunate. During her time in foster care, she'd come across kids her own age who'd been floating around different foster homes for pretty much their entire lives.

And she also knew how lucky she was to have ended up with parents like Eleanor and Marcus. They never tried to hide anything from her. When Collins was sad a few years ago, and she confessed that that day in particular would've been her mama's birthday, Marcus went out and came back with a surprise.

He remembered Collins telling him that her mama loved red velvet, and so he'd gone out and gotten one red velvet cupcake. They lit a candle, and sang happy birthday. That meant the world to Collins, and she was once again reminded about how amazing her new parents were. They did the same thing for her papa's birthday, and have been doing it every year since.

Collins was shocked when she looked at the time and saw that it was nearly 1am. Had she really been laying there daydreaming that long? She got up and forced herself to take a shower, not wanting to get in bed after sweating from all the unpacking and re-arranging.

As she moved some stuff around on her desk, Collins noticed something sticking out of the corner of an old notebook. She hadn't had time yet to go through and see what she wanted to get rid of or store in the basement, so it was all pretty much just piled up on her desk. When she saw the photo that was sticking out, a rush of emotions hit her all at once.

(a/n: I know it looks nothing like Rudy or Alycia but I can't photoshop for shit so just pretend. also that these are 11-year-olds, not teens like I'm sure these people are in the photo)

JJ Maybank. The boy she hadn't spoken to in what felt like forever. Her mind also immediately went to John B., Pope, and Kie. She missed all of them, so much. But she never could bring herself to reach out to them after everything that happened.

While Collins was in foster care, she was treated like garbage. After multiple failed attempts to ask about getting into contact with her friends, she stopped trying. The last time, the man and his wife that were fostering her pretended to be sympathetic, and then the next day the man got down so that he was eye level with Collins. He said he tried to call them and none of them wanted to talk to her.

Collins was sure he was lying. They'd been best friends for a long time, nearly 3 years anyway, and when you were a kid, that felt like a lifetime. Why would they shut her out like that? Especially with her parents dead.

But she had no way of knowing that the man was simply cruel. He found joy in watching the light disappear from her eyes. And so she stopped trying. She grew angry. If none of them wanted to keep in touch with her, or even offer their condolences for her dead parents, why should she keep trying?

Last year after she turned 15, Collins decided to do something about her appearance. Every time she looked in the mirror all she saw was a reminder of her tragic past, and she was tired of it. So she grew out the hair that she'd previously kept cut short, changed the way she dressed, and started wearing a little bit of makeup.

If her friends... if her ex-friends could see her now, they might not even recognize her.

At almost 3am, as Collins finally laid down to force herself to go to sleep, she couldn't help but thinking of her old friends, and wondering what they were all doing.

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