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can't tell me there's no point
in trying, i'm at one, and i've
been silent for too long...

~ marshmello ft. khalid / silence

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COLLINS AND JOHN B. WERE THE FIRST ONES AWAKE THE NEXT MORNING. It was sort of early, so Collins just motioned for John B. to go out of her room, whispering that they'd go down to the kitchen and she'd make them all breakfast.

"So what do you guys have planned for today?" Collins asked as she whisked a bunch of eggs in a large bowl.

"You mean what do we all have planned for today. It's only day two but you're already one of us baby!" John B. grinned, genuinely happy to have his friend back.

Collins focused on making breakfast, not wanting to ask the obvious question.

"Look," he sighed, already knowing what Collins was thinking. "I really think once you talk to him, he'll ease up. But if you don't want to talk about it with him yet, that's okay too. If he's an ass again I'll tell him he can walk home, promise. You have to hang out with us, pleeeeeease!"

After breakfast was made, the 2 friends ate in silence, Collins thinking over whether or not she should go and risk pissing JJ off even more, and John B. silent from not wanting to push her too far on the subject.

Once they were finished, they crept back upstairs, only to see that Pope and Kie were still fast asleep. John B. held his hand up, whispering to Collins to keep quiet. He tiptoed over to the end of the bed, then jumped onto it, spreading his arms out wide. "Wake up sleepyheads the day is wasting away!"

"Please never say that again," Kie groaned, rubbing her eyes.

"What time is it?"

"Nearly ten-thirty. Collins and I have been up for a while now, just waiting on you lazy kids."

Pope shook his head, trying to stop himself from smiling. "Alright alright well we're up now. What are we even doing today?"

"Who knows, but let's get ready, load up and we'll figure it out once we've picked up JJ."

Everyone changed out of their pajamas, Collins once again deciding to keep her outfit casual and hair / makeup minimal since as John B. pointed out, they were gonna be winging it today.

Once everyone was ready to go, they all went downstairs. Collins and John B. talk about random things while Pope and Kie have a quick breakfast, scarfing down the rest of the eggs and bacon. Nearly half an hour later, they're all seated in John B.'s van, ready for the day.

Collins realized that someone must have text JJ at some point because he's already waiting outside when they pull up to his house. Kie gets up and takes the seat next to Collins, who is grateful.

She bet that when JJ got in the car he'd sit by himself again even though the seat next to her was empty, and she silently thanked Kie from saving her from that embarrassment.

They drove around for a little bit, before Kie speaks up and suggests they go check out the construction of a new house. After swinging by John B.'s place to grab a cooler, some ice from the freezer and beer from the fridge, they follow Kie's directions.

JJ and Pope whistle as everyone climbs out of the van.

"Holy shit check this place out. House isn't even done yet but it's fucking huge."

John B. heads straight for the roof, calling out for someone to toss him a beer. Collins copies his moves and somehow manages to make it up to the roof, impressing everyone, even JJ (though he'd never admit it).

"Guys, be careful!" Kie yells up as she heads towards what'll be the rest of the inside of the home.

Collins declines a beer, instead finding her entertainment from John B., who challenges himself by standing as close to the edge of the roof as he can.

"That's what, a three-story fall to the deck? I give you about a one-in-three chance of survival."

"Hmm... Should I do it?" John B. wets his finger and holds it up, nodding as if he knows what the wind direction actually means for him jumping. He turns around to look at Collins, who's shaking her head. "What do you think, think I can make the jump?"

"Hey, you did it in third grade, who's to say you couldn't make this one?"

"Exactly!" He snaps and points at Collins. "Exactly. See, Collins knows I can do it. She witnessed this greatness when we were only eight, she remembers."

"Yeah alright, jump!" Pope shouts. "I'll shoot you on the way down."

"You're gonna shoot me? Pew, pew!"

"They're gonna have Japanese toilets with towel warmers," Kie says, disgust evident in her voice. "This used to be a turtle habitat but who cares about the turtles I guess?"

Collins joins John B. near the edge, standing behind him so that he doesn't try to scoot over and make room... because there isn't any.

"Hey can you both please, I don't know, maybe don't kill yourselves?"

"Hey John B. don't spill that beer, I'm not giving you another one!"

John B. groans as he does in fact, drop the beer.

"Nice!" Collins laughs, holding her hand out for a high-five. She makes her way back down, tossing him another beer.

"For the record, Kie, I care about the turtles and if this weren't already being built for someone specific, I'd turn it back into a turtle habitat." The girls sit next to each other and spend the next 10 minutes or so talking about how Collins spent part of a summer rescuing baby turtles when her family had vacationed in another country.

"Dude, look at that shit," John B. pointed to a yacht that was making its way past them. "Imagine us on that ship just lounging around, not a care in the world. Not like the boats we go on."

"Technically, that wouldn't be a ship. We'd still be on a boat," Collins pointed out.

John B. shook his head. "No, they're definitely the same thing."

Pope gets up to move next to Kie and Collins. "No, she's right. It's only considered a ship if the vessel is over five-hundred tons."

"Collins, Pope, I'm begging both of you, please don't read any more books," Kie stood up to grab another beer, noticing John B. 'accidentally' drop his empty can.

"Seriously, how do you guys remember all of that stuff?"

"Well if we're getting into good colleges—"

John B. plugs his ears and shakes his head. "No! Nope. It's summer and talk of school of any kind is forbidden."

"You'll thank us one day, when you're in dire need of random knowledge and we're the only ones that know the answer," Collins shrugged. "Just you wait."

"Why is she even here?" JJ stood up, tossing his beer can to the side. There was deafening silence, as everyone knew exactly who he was talking about even though no names were mentioned.

"Hey J, take it easy yeah?" John B. attempts to calm his friend down.

"No, I'm serious. Why are you here with us?" JJ finally looked directly at Collins. "You... I mean you just leave and then you show up and we're supposed to act like everything is all good and like you didn't just abandon us?"

"Abandon you? Are you fucking kidding me?" Collins stood up and walked over to JJ, shoving him. "I was ELEVEN YEARS OLD JJ! I'm so fucking sorry that my parents died and I had to go live with other people!"

"You don't think we wanted to be there for you? You were one of my best friends, your parents basically took care of me too, for three years. And you didn't even say goodbye!"

"You're seriously making this about you? MY parents DIED. They're dead, I was an orphan for over a year! You have no fucking right to talk to me like that and treat me the way you've been treating me when I've done nothing to—"

"Nothing? Collins you abandoned us! You abandoned us and turned into one of them, come on you're a Kook now for crying out loud!"

Pope shoved JJ backwards, attempting to break up the fight. "Hey man back off! You haven't even given her a chance to explain."

"You're seriously taking her side??"

"We all are," Kie stood up, putting her arm around Collins.

"Seriously. You know we love you," John B. stood on the other side of Collins. "But you're talking a lot of shit about things you don't know about yet because you won't let her say two words to you without rolling your eyes or demanding to be driven home."

"What's there to talk about?"

"Clearly a lot if you're being an asshole to me right now! Do you even hear yourself? I was ELEVEN. years. old. How many times do I have to say that? When I went through one of the worst things a kid could possibly experience! And you're blaming me when you don't even know the full story, which is because you're so fucking stubborn you won't even let me talk! But you know what, I'm done trying." Collins wiped the tears from her eyes.

"Collins—" Pope tried to calm her down, seeing that she was getting worked up.

"No, guys, it's fine. Thank you for hanging out with me, and talking to me, but I think it's best if I'm not around." Before anyone had a chance to respond, Collins grabbed her phone and stormed off, everyone else still staring at JJ.

"What?" He chugged another beer. "I'm just telling it like it is."

"No, you're just being a piece of shit. How guilty would you feel if something happened to her when she was walking home? Or would you not care because you're Mr. Tough Guy and you don't care about her?"

"Like John B.'s not about to go give her a ride home?" JJ scoffed.

John B. shook his head, incredibly disappointed in the guy he called one of his best friends. "You need to get your head out of your ass. You better hope that Collins wasn't serious about staying away, and that you didn't fuck up all of our friendships with her." He turned and ran after Collins. JJ was right, he had intended to give her a ride to wherever she wanted to go, and maybe a chance to vent too.

"Why are you so pissed at her?" Kie demanded once they'd watched John B. convince Collins to let him take her home so she wouldn't be walking by herself.

"I'm not."

Pope raised his eyebrows. "Really? All that, being a jackass and just seeing the bad in everything, lashing out at her, and you're seriously telling us that you're not mad?"

"Why aren't you guys mad?"

"Because we're not delusional, JJ!" Kie rolled her eyes. "You are. You heard what she said. I know you remember too. She had to leave five years ago. HAD to! You think she wanted her parents to die? Do you honestly think she wanted all of this to happen?"

"I—"

"Nope. You don't get to talk right now. You didn't let Collins talk so now you're gonna shut the hell up and listen, you should know what happened because right now you deserve to feel like shit."

JJ was so stunned at Kie snapping at him, that he couldn't think of a comeback. She took that as an opportunity to keep talking. JJ sat back down, stunned at everything Kie started to say.

She left out some things, knowing Collins might get mad for telling him everything when he wouldn't listen to her, but she was so angry at him right now that she didn't care, she'd tell JJ the basic facts and just hope that Collins understood why she did it.

"Why... why didn't she tell us—"

"Oh my God did you seriously not hear literally anything that I just said?! She COULDN'T. She was not allowed to. And coming back here, it's bringing back all of the terrible memories that she worked so hard to push to the back of her head. Then you come in being an ignorant asshole, and you're making things worse! She's only been here a couple of days and congratulations dude, you've managed to make her leave. Again." Kie knew that last part was a low blow, but... she didn't care.

The ride back to Collins house was silent. John B. knew by the look on her face that Collins wasn't up for talking right now, so he settled for putting on some music and just hoped that she'd want to talk eventually.

Once they were back at the Ellsworth home, Collins went straight to her room and flopped down on her bed, face buried in her pillow. John B. followed her just to make sure she was okay.

"Collins, I—"

"Did I ruin things for you guys?"

"Huh?"

After a moment, she sat up, crossing her legs and hugging her pillow. "Me, coming back and hanging out with you guys. I've only been with you guys twice and you're already fighting because of me."

"No." John B. shook his head. "It's not your fault. We're fighting with JJ... because of JJ. He had no right to snap at you like that, and I'm willing to bet that he's getting an earful from Pope and Kie right now. You coming back didn't ruin things at all. I don't know if the others will admit it but we all thought about you, of course a lot more when you first left but even now every once in a while I'd wonder how you were doing. And I'd much rather have you here with us, than spend the rest of our lives wondering. l promise, you didn't ruin anything. It's all on JJ."

"You should go check on them. At least Kie and Pope, I mean."

"Yeah, I should go make sure they haven't killed JJ yet. Or if they did, I guess help them hide the body." That made Collins burst out laughing, and John B. was glad that she was smiling again.

"You guys can come back, you know. I mean I don't think JJ is gonna be knocking on my door anytime soon but the rest of you, you're welcome anytime. Plus my mom and dad already like you guys a lot, I'm pretty sure they were ready to sign the adoption papers."

John B. was grateful for Collins' invitation. He was alone most nights, since Kie's parents were pretty strict about not having her out of the house multiple nights in a row, and Heyward had Pope helping him out in the mornings so he went home most nights, and JJ didn't spend the night as often either.

Last night was one of the best nights he'd had in a long time, and he liked the feeling he got when Collins parents treated him like their own.

"I think I'll take you up on that," he said as Collins walked him back downstairs. "I'll text you and let you know what I find when I get back to everyone else, and I'm gonna try to make JJ feel a little more guilty while I'm at it."

"No, don't," Collins shook her head, but smiled, grateful for the offer. "I just... I meant it, what I said. I'm done worrying and wondering why he hates me. Yeah, it hurts but I'm not gonna try when he could clearly not care less. I know he wishes I never came back, so he doesn't have to see me anymore. I'd love to hang out with you, Pope, and Kie, but like I said before I know you guys had a good thing going before I got here, so I get it if I don't see you guys every day."

John B. pulled Collins in for a hug. "We're really glad you're back. And we'll be back soon!"

"But JJ—"

"I'm pissed at him, and I don't think I'm the only one. And if he doesn't like that, he can suck it up and go be in time out until he does."

"Time out?"

"You know what I mean."

Collins had almost completely shut the door when John B. called her name. "Yeah?"

He smiled at her. "We're really glad you're back."

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