WAVES

Wednesday, the 14th of February

There's more plants around Mum's grave but it's still the same from the last visit. We stand side by side and stare at the rock with her name etched into it. Waves crash in the background and fill the growing silence.

"We should go to the beach," Dad says.

"Are you serious?"

"I thought visiting her grave would do something, but I don't feel her presence and I don't feel comforted by a piece of rock."

"Can I take my surfboard?"

"I haven't seen you surf in a while."

"Are you hoping I'll face plant?" I gasp.

"You're running out of daylight." He chuckles.

I race to the car and he trails behind. There's no way I'm not taking full advantage of this opportunity because I have no idea when it'll happen again. I unstrap the board from the roof and he reluctantly follows me to the beach.

We take our shoes off and I smile as we wander across the soft sand. Dad finds a spot to sit and I leave my belongings with him. I race into the cool water and peer over my shoulder. He waves and I grin back.

I toss the board onto the water and jump on. Despite not surfing for months, it's like riding a bike. I paddle out to the breakpoint and watch for a perfect first wave.

On the third wave, I paddle out and catch the wave. The board whips through the water as I ride the wave. Towards the end, I leap into the water and float to the top. The rolling waves pull me out and I can't resist the call. Sometimes I swear the ocean is calling my name, like a siren to a pirate.

* * * * *

Water trickles down my body as I stride across the beach. The afternoon sun casts a warm glow but the breeze is getting nippy. I shove the board into the sand and plonk beside my father.

"You look like your mother when you surf."

"Everyone looks the same from here."

"You know what I mean." He playfully glares.

"You should come out before it's too dark."

"I can't surf."

"You just don't want to."

"True." He nods.

"Call me crazy, but sometimes when I'm out there, it feels like Mum's with me."

"One wave."

"Okay." I nod.

Dad dumps his shirt on the sand and follows me to the water. I attach the cord to his ankle and he awkwardly climbs onto it.

"Don't look so afraid, you'll be fine." I smile.

"I don't remember the last time I touched a surfboard, let alone sat on one." He frowns.

"The best thing about water, is that it'll catch you." I chuckle.

Dad sprawls across the board and attempts to get comfortable – as comfortable as one person can be on a floating, moving object.

"So much like you're mother," he mutters.

He paddles out and watches the waves roll past.

"Come on, you're missing all the good waves," I shout.

I'm sure he's glaring but I don't care because I can't see it from here. He paddles and attempts to stand but his placement is off, so the board flies out from under his feet and he hits the water with a thud.

He bursts through the water and pushes his hair out of his face. Dad drags the board back to me and unclips it from his ankle.

"I still don't miss it."

"I'm sure." I chuckle.

"Charlie."

"Yes?"

"I'm sorry for taking surfing away from you. It's a regret I'll carry for the rest of my life. The thought of you surfing, especially after what happened to your mother scared me. I shouldn't have let it hold you back from your dreams."

"Nobody can take surfing away from me. I chose to come with you because I love you, even if your cooking is horrible and you still don't know how to use a washing machine."

He rolls his eyes and I chuckle.

"You should check out your mother's old contacts. I'm sure you'll find someone who can help you. I remember when they'd fight over who'd take you global."

"I don't know, surfing makes things complicated now."

"Following your heart will always make things complicated."

"Unfortunately." I sigh.

"I have some friends in Brisbane I'd like to see. You can spend the week hitting up those contacts or enjoying the remainder of your holiday with Percy and Mads. Whatever you decide, I'll support you."

"Thank you." I smile.

"Since Percy is on the same flight, I'll meet you in America, that's if you decide to come back."

"Wait, you'd actually let me stay here?"

"You've spent enough time trying to make me happy, it's time you start doing what makes you happy."

"I have a lot of thinking to do." I frown.

"We should grab food because you'll need the energy." He laughs.

"I forgot how hungry I was." I pout as my stomach rumbles.

I grab the board and Dad collects our things from our spot. We wander back to the car and I steal glances of the ocean as we move further away. If we end up miles apart, perhaps the ocean is what'll bring us back together.

* * * * *

Noah opens the door and frowns at the suitcase situated beside me.

"What happened?"

"Dad's heading to Brisbane and I told him I'd stay with Maddison because sharing a room with my cousin may end with me murdering them."

"You should stay with Maddison, she's part of the reason we came here."

"Are you trying to tell me something?" I gasp.

Noah yanks me into the hotel room and kisses my forehead.

"Don't you dare! You know I want to spend every night with you, but I'm the one heading back to America with you, so I can snuggle my cold pillow for a couple of nights."

"I'll stay with Maddison, but we need to talk about something." I nibble on my lower lip.

"What's wrong?"

I lead Noah to the small couch and weave my fingers through his. Would he really follow me to the end of the earth?

"He told me I should chase surfing and now I want to know my options."

"What about college?"

"College will always be there but surfing has a timeline."

"This is what you really want?"

"I want to know my options."

"What would that mean for us?"

"No matter where I am or what I'm doing, I'll always want to be with you. There's nobody else for me but you. Plus this could be a wild goose chase because I've been out of the water for a long time now."

"I hope you don't believe that. Anyone would be insane not to take you on."

"Thanks, Noah." I squeeze his hand.

"Do you promise you won't find some hot surfer who can shred on the board?"

"I promise you I won't."

"Okay." He nods. "You should see what happens. I'm scared but it's not a reason you should change what you want in life."

"Thank you." I smile.

Noah kisses my hand and I lean against his shoulder.

"Spend some time with me before you hurry to Maddison."

"I'm not in a rush, so let's watch a movie and snuggle for a little bit."

We move to the bed and I rest against his warm chest. It's hard to settle with so much uncertainty swirling around me. Whatever happens, happens, I just have to be brave enough to handle the storm.