It's there. It hasn't disappeared into oblivion. The feeling that it's gone only comes because I don't know how to reach it.

Some moments, the world around me sparks with creativity that flows and guides the words out of my mind. The glints of that magic, the feeling that I can do this.

But then, I blink. And breathe.

It's gone again.

When I reach out to grab it or to just find something out there that I can hold on to in the meantime, I come up empty.

And knowing that it's still there just makes it harder.