I walked in a daze after I left Gabby. I tried so hard to keep my emotions in check when I was in there. It was hard to accept that she could possibly never remember what we shared. 

I walked into my father’s room and sat down in the chair. My mom wasn’t in there, she must have went to get food. I looked at my dad and tried to think about what he would say to me if he were awake. Most likely, it wouldn’t be what I want to hear. 

My mom walked in, and she must have noticed my expression. She came and knelt in front of me, resting her hands on my knees. “Hayden, what happened? Is she alright?” 

I tried to hold back the tears, but I couldn’t. “She doesn’t remember me, Mom. They say her memory might come back, but- What if she doesn’t remember me? Remember us?” 

“Oh, Hayden. You have to have faith. I’m sure her memory will come back. You just have to believe it.”

***

Two weeks later

She still didn’t remember me. It’s been two-fucking-weeks and she didn’t remember me. I kept visiting her in the hospital and I would tell her stories about us and things we did. Well, not the sex stuff. I just…couldn’t bring it up. It was almost unbearable knowing she didn’t remember the most intimate details about our relationship. 

My dad ended up waking up from his coma. He seemed to be doing better. Well, according to my mother. He didn’t want to see me, and he didn’t want to talk to me. I didn’t know what to think about that. I didn’t know how to process that my father basically disowned me. 

The sliding doors of the hospital drew my attention as a nurse was bringing Gabby out in a wheelchair. I got out of the car and opened the car door for her. 

“Here, let me help you,” I said as I offered her my hand. She was wearing a boot now and still had some pain, but it was manageable. She tried to hobble to the car and lost her balance, falling against me. Our eyes met for a moment and I cleared my throat, uncomfortable with the familiar feeling. 

“Sorry,” she said a little breathlessly. She regained her footing and got into the passenger seat. Alex stayed back at Jenny’s house to give me some time with Gabby.

“So,” she said as I got in the driver’s seat, “where are we off to?”

I mentioned to her that I had a few things planned for us. I wanted to spend some time with her and hopefully jog her memory. 

“First stop, is where we had our first date.”

She laughed and said, “The bonfire.”

“Yep.” 

She reached for my hand and my heart was hammering in my chest. God, I missed her touch. 

“Is this okay?” She asked, referring to our joined hands. 

“More than okay,” was my raspy reply and I squeezed her hand. 

She had a hard time in the hospital when she saw herself in the mirror. She had a few hysterical days that required some sedation. I’ll never forget that feeling. My panic when she would wake up screaming from a nightmare she didn’t understand, or the hysterical crying whenever she saw her reflection. 

Sometimes, she was so scared because she couldn’t remember, she wouldn’t sleep for days, and that’s when they had to sedate her.

“What are you thinking about,” she asked. 

Her question gave me déjà vu. She asked me that same question on the beach. One part of our short relationship she didn’t remember.

“Nothing, I’m just happy you’re here with me.”

She glanced at the window. “Me, too. Hayden, I’m so sorry about this.”

I frowned at her before looking back to the road. “For what?”

“For this. I can't imagine what you’re going through. Alex told me that we’re very serious. If it was reversed, I don’t know if I could handle something like that. So, I’m sorry.”

I pulled over so she could see how serious I was. “Look at me, Gabby.”

She met my stare and I said, “Never apologize to anyone for anything. Ever. Do you understand me? You are one of the purest people I know, and you have nothing to be sorry about.”

I cupped her face in my hand so I could wipe away the tear that fell. “Do you understand me, Gabby?”

“Yes.”

I sat back in my seat and got back on the road. “Good, now that that’s settled, are you hungry?”

She gave me a little laugh, “No, thank you.”

There was one upside to this whole memory loss bullshit. Even though she remembered her father was an abusive asshole, who was in jail now, she didn’t remember everything he had done. 

She didn’t have that weighing on her. She was more…happy. She was even more optimistic, given her circumstances. That alone was the teason for the agreement Alex and I made to not tell her. She threatened to kick our ass when she remembers, but we wanted her to have this peace of mind, at least for as long as she could.

***

It wasn’t long before we arrived at Bonfire Pointe. 

I popped the trunk to get the wheelchair I took from the hospital for her. 

“Hayden! Did you steal that?” She looked at me incredulously when I wheeled it up to her door. 

“No, I borrowed it. Besides, you’re the thief, remember?”

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop them. “Gabby, I’m sorry I-“

“No apologizing, Hayden, remember? Your rule.”

I smiled and helped her out of the car and into the chair. I started pushing her down the trail to where I found her that night. 

“It’s pretty out here.”

“Yes, it is.” It was almost the end of December now. The weather was getting colder. It’ll probably snow soon. 

When we got to the south side of the lake, I put the brakes on the wheelchair for her. “Here we are.”

“This was our first date?” she asked as she looked around. “What did we do?”

“Well, I came looking for you because Alex was wasted.” I pointed to the big Oak Tree. “You were leaning against that tree, with a beer and a cigarette.”

She had recently quit smoking when she was in the hospital, one thing I was proud of. “Wow, I must have looked horrible.”

“Actually, I thought you were incredibly sexy.”

She looked at me before clearing her throat. “What next?”

“Well, I told you about Alex, and you said he needed fun not to worry about him.” I leaned down in front of her, my hands resting on the arms of her wheelchair when I continued, “then you came up to me, put your hand on my chest, and said, ‘I know you want to kiss me’.”

Her eyes fell to my lips as she whispered, “Golden Boy.”

I froze where I was and nearly stopped breathing. “What? What did you just call me?”

She seemed to snap out of whatever trance she was in and looked confused. “Um, Golden Boy. I don’t know why I said that, actually.”

“Gabby, that’s what you used to call me.”

She scoffed, still missing the point. “Please, that’s a terrible nickname. Why would I call you that?” 

I knelt in front of her, wanting to make sure she understood what I was going to say. “Gabby, I never told you that. Neither did Alex. You just remembered it.”

Her eyes got wide as realization hit her. “I did? Oh, my God! I did. Hayden, this is amazing!” she yelled before grabbing my face and crushing her mouth against mine. 

I moaned into her mouth, and when she gasped, I took advantage and stroked her tongue with mine. The tension left her body and she got more into it.

I pulled away before it went any further. I haven’t kissed her since before all this happened. If I didn’t stop now, I was going to have her beneath me in five seconds flat. Middle of the park, be damned. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-“

“No,” was her response. She tilted her head to the side as she brought her fingers to her lips. “Don’t apologize. I…felt something when we kissed. It wasn’t quite a memory, but I know I’ve felt that before. With you.”

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. “Good, that’s…really good.” 

She smiled and tucked her hair behind her ear. “So, Golden Boy, what’s the next stop down memory lane?”

***

I drove her to school and showed her where we would hold our secret rendezvous. It was winter break so there was no one here, thankfully. I didn’t want to deal with anyone.

She thought I was kidding when I showed her the janitor’s closet.

“You have got to be kidding,” she said with a laugh. “A janitor’s closet?”

“Yep. Your idea, by the way. I was perfectly fine with making out in my car and throwing a tarp over it.“

She shook her head at me. “Of course, you were. So, any other places?” 

I moved to sit on the chair in front of her. “There’s one more place I want to show you.”

“Okay,” was her reply. “Why do you have that look on your face?” 

How do I explain this? “Well, Thanksgiving weekend I got us a room at a hotel on the beach. So, we could getaway and have some time together.” I looked down at my hands before continuing. “I’d…I’d like to take you there.”

When she didn’t speak right away, I added, “If you aren’t comfortable, it’s completely okay. I won’t be upset or anything.”

Please be okay with it. 

She thought it over for a moment before saying, “Yeah, I think that'll be good for me. How far is it?” 

“A couple hours. Alex already gave me a bag of your things, just in case you said yes.”

She let out a small giggle and nodded. “Let’s go to the beach then, Golden Boy.”

I pushed her wheelchair back towards the parking lot. The more I was seeing this side of Gabby, this happy, bright, amazing girl…the more I worried about the effects getting her memories back would have on her.

Gabby

We’ve been driving for about an hour so far. We stopped for food once, and spent the time talking about books and music. Well, since I couldn’t even remember what I liked, it was mostly what he liked. He did tell me the names of bands he knew I liked and books, too, aside from the ones he brought from my house. Well, my old house. 

He explained to me in the hospital that Alex was staying with his best-friend’s aunt, who was a foster mom. He explained she had a room for me there and I was welcome for as long as I liked.

Alex told me all the strings he pulled to make that happen. He explained how hard Hayden tried to get us out of my father’s house. He really loves me. Not only that, he knew so much about me, and I couldn’t remember our first kiss. I reached up and felt the surgical scar on the right side of my head. 

“Is your head hurting,” he asked, “Do you need your meds?”

“No, I’m fine. Just, annoying really. I’m okay.”

He smiled and took my hand. He was so sweet, and he tried so hard to take care of me. Even though I didn’t remember him, he was there every day in the hospital. I asked about his father a few times, but he didn’t want to talk about it. 

I tried talking to Alex about it, too, but all he would say was it was Hayden’s business. I grabbed my backpack to get a book out of it when I saw a piece of paper folded at the bottom. I opened it, and it wasn’t my handwriting. The note read: 

Hey, baby. I was just thinking about you and wanted to tell you I loved you. I’ll see you later tonight at the game.

Stay safe for me.

Yours, Golden Boy

Oh, my God. This was the night of…the accident. He gave me this note and…”UGH!” I yelled, grabbing my head as a sharp pain sliced through it. 

“Gabby? What’s wrong? Tell me what I can do.”

I couldn’t speak as weird images flew through my mind. I saw Hayden kissing me goodbye, I saw my father in a fit of rage. I saw Alex…Then nothing. 

“Gabby! Are you alright?”

I realized he pulled over on the side of the road, and he had a worried expression on his face. 

“Yeah, I think I-"

“Your nose, Gabby. It’s bleeding.”

I wiped at my nose with a tissue he offered, and sure enough, it was stained red with my blood. 

“What happened, Gabby?”

“I’m not sure. I saw this note in my bag. It was from you, on the night of the accident. You were telling me you loved me. Then these weird images flashed through my mind. Like snapshots or something. It was all jumbled.”

“What did you see?” 

“You were on your way to the game and you kissed me goodbye and said you would see me later. Then I saw my father and Alex.” I frowned at that. “He was so angry.”

I looked at him then, “Please, Hayden. You have to tell me everything that happened. I can’t keep dealing with this.”

He looked away from me and was quiet for a long while. “All right. But not until we get to the hotel. I don’t want, whatever that was, happening again here, on the highway. Okay?”

“Okay, thank you.”

I kept the tissue pressed against my nose as he headed back into traffic. One thing that stood out to me when I was getting those memories, was Hayden kissing his way down my body.