A/N: It's finally here thank you so much for your patience, your kind words, kudos, votes and comments. ILY all! Enjoy.
CW** blood, death and serious injury

I lay in the darkness.

My eyes felt heavy.

My head throbbed.

Everything hurt.

I tried to take a deep breath.

My chest felt heavy.

I sputtered and coughed blood dripping from my lips.

I couldn't take a deep breath without a sudden sharp spear of pain that lanced through me. A pain so intense that it took all clear thought from my mind. I fell in and out of the darkness, falling in and out of the void just as the pain ebbed and flowed around me like an ocean with its mercurial tides.

I died.

I dreamt.

The sun shone through the window, a bright sunny day... I was cold...

No, I was warm there were arms wrapped around me. Two pairs of arms around me.

James.

Steve.

My twin hearts.

My body lay between theirs the heat of their bodies was warm against mine. Only a thin white sheet covered me.

The room shook violently...

No, the room didn't shake, it was Steve he was whispering in my ear trying to wake me fully asking me if I wanted to go down and let James sleep.

James.

Was James, ok?

I looked over to him quickly and a smile erupted from me smothering the fear that had been in my chest moments before. Steve pulled a robe around my body and took my hand, and we descended the stairs.

The smell of smoke filled my nostrils and I looked alarmed and when I made to voice my fear to Steve, I found him looking at me, a soft smile on his face.

The thought of the smoky smell left my thoughts completely.

We were in my house. The soft sunny sunshine yellow house that I had lived in when Thanos took everything from me.

Thanos.

My heart stumbled uncomfortably in my chest again. There was a sharp pain and I yelped.

Steve was at my side his face filled with concern, "Is it the baby?"

I froze.

"What?"

His hand went to my stomach, and I was filled with terror and dread.

This was not right.

"It's alright Sunshine," he said, and I felt instantly nauseous.

I looked up at him my eyes fell to his face, there it was the thing I dreaded.

The scar.

This was not the Steve Rogers that I had just fallen head over heels for, the man that reminded me more of the boy I had fallen in love with then the man that I had actually married. This was the man that married me so that no one else could, because he felt as though he had to because he had let the world burn just for me many, many, many, years ago.

"No." the harsh sound fell from my lips.

The smile fell from his face and his expression dimmed in its brightness. The golden morning sunlight  was extinguished. The sky was suddenly washed with dark ominous clouds and rumbling thunder.

The thunder shook the ground.

The ground was shaking.

"What's the matter sunshine? You don't want to have my baby?" his expression darkened to match the sky above, "Would you rather it be his? Your Bucky?" he sneered harshly, "the boy you always loved more than me. The man who took you from me."

I shook my head my whole body trembled.

I felt like I had ice freezing in my veins.

"Well, guess what Sunshine... I have a secret too."

My eyes shot open, and I tried to move but I couldn't. I tried to take calming breaths, but that same sharp pain caught my breath before I could inhale deeply. It was dark, I could barely make out my hand in front of my face. I felt around with my hands but found I had such limited movement. I was buried beneath concrete. Memory rushed back and I recalled the explosion and successive building collapse.

A panicked sob erupted from the back of my throat, and I freed one hand enough to fumble it in the darkness to the pain that burned at my side. Another sob fell from my lips when I realized there was a piece of twisted rebar embedded in my side spearing me. I closed my eyes for a moment trying to clear my mind enough to focus. The minimal medic training I'd been versed in with my time at Hydra flooded my mind.

Just below my ribs.

Through and through.

Minimal bleeding, for now at least.

I was certain that I had just pierced the muscle.

The next issue was to free myself. I could be under metres of rubble or perhaps only feet. I might just lay here until I eventually bled out of starved. I didn't want to do either. I had to find James I had to find Steve.

Steve.

He had been right beside me.

"Steve!" I shouted his name as loud as I could, coughing when I couldn't carry on shouting. It was also too dangerous to do so. What if Thanos's forces heard my call?

I stilled myself for a moment.

First thing I needed to do was to free myself from the rebar and then I could assess the rest of my predicament. I checked to see if my feet were pinned, and I found indeed one of them was. With some grunting and swearing and excessive pain in my side I freed my foot kicking off the broken slab with my opposite foot.

I must have blacked out because when I woke again, I found that I had shifted on the rebar, and I had slid a little further down the metal. I couldn't help the hot tears that streamed down my face pain and desperation the only thoughts in my head. The only thing that drove me not to give up. I could see the broken rebar now as the light shone through the rubble. The sun had risen, and streams of heated sunlight shone in narrow beams through the fallen building like the bars of a jail cell.

I could hear the sound of many voices beyond my tomb, digging through the rubble of the building that had collapsed next door and I knew I needed to keep quiet if I didn't want to get caught.

If I ever got out of here.

I took a few shallow calming breaths and began to slide my body up the rebar. I bit down on my lip so hard that I drew blood so as not to scream. The pain was excruciating but I needed to get free. I would endure whatever it took to make sure that I could get out of here and destroy Thanos and the stones. I also needed to find them. Steve. James. I needed to make sure they were alive and safe.

I grit my teeth and slowly and steadily I continued to move myself up the rebar. That pain was like nothing I'd ever experienced, it seemed to drag over my old injuries, flicking the heated pain in my bones. I wondered for a moment if it had disturbed the stones that lay dormant within me. I could see the end of the metal bar. I was so close to the end of it I needed to just bite back the pain and peel myself away.

The blood began to stream from the would at my side, it trickled hot against my cold skin. With a silent cry I fell to my knees once I freed myself panting, the pain not as intense as it was moments before. Replacing the pain now was a strange tingling sensation that radiated from the wound and down towards my fingertips.

Steve.

James.

I needed to find them.

My back bowed with the intensity of the energy that ripped through me.

Stars flashed in my vision and one moment I was buried deep within the ruble of the crumbled structure the next I found myself beyond it. Laying beyond the structure in a back alley, dirt and debris littered all around me as I was hidden far from the shadows of the collapse.

I blinked.

What the hell just happened? I peered down at the wound the blood slowed and before my eyes I watched the flesh knit itself back together. I was prone to fast healing, but I was healing far faster than I ever had before. A strange heat pulsed from my chest, and I knew that it must indeed be the stones. It must be because the shards were so close to their home, to the full stone. As if in acknowledgment the sensation in my chest seemed to want to tug me in the direction of the rubble of Stark tower.

Attempting to push it aside, I tried to direct that same seeking motion to finding Steve and James. For a moment the Stones in me seemed to pause and then as if understanding my request, I was pulled in a different direction.

Whether it was from luck alone or help from the Stones my path was unbidden. I didn't meet with a single sentry or guard. I moved farther away from the wreckage and towards a part of the city that had met with its demise long ago. I could hear the sounds of Thanos's forces shouting in the distance as they dug through the rubble and as those called lessened so did that strange pull from the stones. I could still feel them, they still guided me but the strange burning to return to Stark Tower within me ebbed.

I turned into another alley way. The building to my left was leaning precariously on top the building to my right. The end of the alley was a dead end, vehicles piled on one another as though they were set there as a barricade. I spun on my heel looking for a way to pass when I felt a hand come over my mouth and drag me into the shadows.

Steve

Panic filled my very soul. The building had crumbled around us, I had lost grip on Evelyn as we tumbled through the wreckage and now, I couldn't find her anywhere. I was fine, somehow. I had managed to fall through most of the collapse, the entryway to the building had yet to crumble beneath the blast. I had been knocked out who is to say how long I'd been unconscious. I pushed myself up and found my way out to the glass doors before they shattered, behind me the building collapsing  the rest of the way down upon itself.

With Evelyn inside.

My heart was in my throat.

What the hell had happened?

Did Bucky do this?

Was he ok?

Was he still alive?

Is Evelyn alive?

There was a cacophony of a thousand questions that filled my mind. I couldn't see much through the concrete dust and smoke that choked my lungs. Blood dripped into my eyes making them burn, dirt and dust clung to my skin.

I grit my teeth.

I stilled moving low into a defensive position thankful that my shield was still strapped to my back because as I stepped out of the building, I had come face to face with a squadron for Chitauri elites.

Strangely they did not attack, the largest of them moved forward its black glittering eyes staring right into my own. Its voice sounded strange as though its tongue had issues with wrapping around the human language, "Captain," It began its voice so deep and inhuman it sent a chill down my spine, "We still cannot find the cause of the blast." The beasts wide shoulders tensed as he spoke, "We do believe it started in the Labs. We have not been able to locate Stark or the Stones."

He knew me. No. Not me but him.

I let my face fall into a scowl it was not hard. Bucky and I had our suspicions, now they were all but confirmed. He was here and with Toni. "We need to find the Stones." I let my face go hard, I had heard Evelyn speak of my counterpart enough to know how his actions would differ from my own.

The Chitauri nodded, "Thanos has made that clear enough."

"Well," I bit out sharply, "Talking to me about it isn't going to find them any faster now, is it?"

The creature managed to look abashed somehow and it nodded, "Yes Captain." With that the squadron moved from me and towards the far end of the building to continue their search.

I could see the first rays of light beginning to rise over the horizon. I had to hope that Evelyn was alright, I know that she would want me to take this opportunity to use it to my advantage. In hopes of getting the stones in our grasp or at least to find out what the hell Bucky did because this level of destruction had the Winter Soldier written all over it.

Evelyn

The scream that left my lips was muffled by the hand that covered them.

"Shh, Sweetheart its me," James's voice murmured quietly in my ear.

My heart still hammered in my chest like the beat of a war drum, but quickly replaced by the relief that washed over me because James was safe, "Oh my God," I breathed as he dropped his hold and I turned wrapping my arms around him, "You're alright."

He nodded his face set into a grim expression. "Where is Steve?"

I shook my head fear still coursing through me my throat tight with my fear for him, "I don't know." I took a shaking breath, "we got separated when the building collapsed."

"Fuck," he cursed biting his lip, "I didn't mean for that to happen, are you alright?" He stepped from my arms inspecting my body. His hands ghosting over my body pausing at the ripped clothing at my side.

Though the ache in my side was ebbed it still tingled strangely. The sensation of my skin knitting together prickled like pins and needles. "I'm ok now." I said not wanting him to know the guilt that I had been impaled. "We have to find Steve." I changed the topic. I wasn't surprised that James was the reason the building exploded, he wouldn't have done it without good reason, still part of me was annoyed that Steve or I didn't get at least a warning.

"Agreed," He nodded his face tight as he finished his examination of me, he accepted my deflection although I could still see the questions in his eyes, "We have a pretty big problem though."

I studied his face, his steel-coloured eyes were dark and stormy and the way he clenched and unclenched his teeth I could just tell that there was something that he didn't want to tell me.

"Just tell me." I braced myself for the news, but there was a noise. The sound of heavy footsteps caused my pulse to quicken.

"Not here, we need to get somewhere safe." He said his voice tight his eyes darting down the alleyway.

I was torn.

I knew James was right we couldn't get caught if we wanted to find Steve, but I also didn't want to leave until I had him by my side.

He shook his head understanding my thoughts without me having to voice them, "I know Sweetheart, I know you don't want to leave without him, neither do I but he is Captain America. He can take care of himself." He reached up and cupped the side of my face his warm hand caressing my lips, "It's my job to make sure that you're safe. There is a lot you need to know. Then and only then can we devise a plan to find Steve, destroy Thanos and get back home." His eyes were imploring in their sincerity, and I knew that I couldn't fight him on this.

He must have seen the concession in my gaze because I could clearly see him sag slightly in relief that he did not have to force me to follow him. "I've found a place that should be safe from Thanos and his goons," he took my hand and turned to slide us though an opening in the pileup of cars against the building, "stay close."

He dropped my hand as we slid into the cramped space, and I couldn't help but feel like I was being catapulted into the past.

To Thaw and the Winter Soldier. Silently sneaking though a war-torn territory seeking safety and their next victim.

He must have felt it too. Yet, the difference which we both knew and understood is that he had done in alone in his world. That made me ache for him all the more, knowing that I'd have never survived without him had our roles been reversed. He seemed to slide easily back into his role as a shadow in the darkness, just like I did. He looked back to me to make sure I was still following close behind him and I saw the torment in his eyes. The same torment that I was sure reflected brightly in my own. He must have however, mistaken it as worry for Steve.

"Don't worry we'll find him." He said the shadows ebbing from his eyes for the flicker of a moment.

I didn't have the heart to tell him that I worried that I was dragging him back into the shadows with me. Into the role that he had been trying so desperately to leave behind.

We needed to harden.

We needed to leave all thoughts of a conscience behind us.

We needed to become just like the monsters we tried so desperately to destroy.

"I know we will James," I said solemnly in a miserable attempt to quell his worry, "I'm just concerned what we'll have to do to get there."

I saw the flash or realization in his eyes and his jaw tightened, "We will do whatever it takes Evie." He reached up and cupped my cheek for the briefest of moments before he let his hand fall back to his side.

I nodded, "I love you." I said as we stepped out from the tight space between the collapsed buildings.

He didn't turn back to me, but his voice was filled with emotion as he said, "I love you too."

I put my hand on his shoulder forcing him to look at me and we stood there amidst the ruins, the ruins of our lives bare for all to see and we just looked at each other for a moment. So, many emotions perfumed the air between us, hopes of the past present and future burning like a flame in the night leading us down a path that we all craved so much.

He took a shaking breath before he turned away and knelt on the ground. With his metal hand he brushed at the dirt revealing a manhole cover. He lifted it easily and motioned for me to head down first, and he followed me after he replaced the heavy metal disk throwing us once again into darkness.

No hope shining in my chest we would make it out of here alive. Not after everything that we had done.

December 1991

It was dark.

It was frigid.

And the orders were clear.

Eliminate the target.

Collect the package.

Disappear.

I was seated behind The Soldier on his black motorcycle. My icy cold hands rested lightly on my thighs as we waited for the target to leave the house. We were parked across the street in the shadows staring at the house where the target resided still inside.

I had been thawed for seven days, the soldier for less than eighteen hours. My job was to ensure this mission went off without a hitch, we would be less likely to be punished were it the case. The last few missions the Soldier had struggled to maintain complete control, fury exploded from him easily. The whisper of strange names that tickled at the back of my mind fell from his lips and with that so much pain. The longer he was out of the ice, the more irrational he became, the more likely he was to kill our torturers as he was the victim we were bade to dispose of. The more unhinged he was the more feral my protection of him would grow and then we could be deemed an unnecessary risk, and I could not allow them to dispose of him.

I would destroy them all.

It was my job to keep him safe, my job to make sure that they didn't hurt him, or me.

His gloved hand twitched on the handlebar. I leaned forward placing my palm down on his thigh my mouth at his ear. I spoke softly, "Soon Soldier," I felt him relax under my touch, "then you can take me to bed."

He leaned back into me, and I nuzzled into the warmth. He grunted a reply the sound reverberating through me and right to my cunt. His hand relaxed on the handlebar and I let my arms coil around his middle pressing into his back.

I found myself wondering if the foggy shadows of memories in the back of my mind were just a fever dream, was it like that for him? I wondered if there was anything more than this animal instinct within him. To kill. To Fuck. To destroy both the enemy and my body. I shivered not from the cold but from the delight at the memories of his rough hands on my body. Not that any of it made me care for him any less. He was turned into this creature, tortured time and time again because he fought and struggled even when it was certain he could not recall anything before the moments we we're currently living. I on the other hand was far more of the monster because I did remember most of it. I relived many moments over and over again and yet still I stayed. I stayed for him, for what they would do to him if I weren't here. I would never turn him against the beasts that kept us, I didn't turn him against ourselves because above all else I must keep him safe. I must keep myself safe.

Though some days, I could not say why.

But the answer was clear.

I was kept in check because they threatened him.

He was kept in check because they threatened me.

The garage door opened, and we were washed in the light of headlights and my pulse quickened hoping we were hidden enough in the trees that they did not see us. Seconds ticked by then the car drove off, after a moment we followed.

It was cold.

It was icy.

Adrenaline roared in my ears like a drug.

The tires slid against the pavement epinephrine coursing though me in a glorious rush.

The night was dark, only to get so much darker. There would be death ahead. We had planned out the route so much that it was burned into my skull. We drove closer, our headlight blinding the target though their rear-view window there was no doubt that he realized what was happening as the target picked up speed driving recklessly now.

Just like we'd planned.

Their sedan was no match for the power of the motorcycle, and the man at the helm. The soldier barreled in on them as they weaved and served to try and shake us off, but it was to no avail. I pulled the gun from my holster pointing just off to the side of the passenger window right before the car hit the icy curve in the road shooting into the air striking a tree on the side of the road. Just like we had designed the target swerved to avoid any harm to the passenger in the vehicle. The bike was now so close to the car, the Soldier pulled up to the passenger window. In unison both the driver and the passenger looked towards us.

Our eyes collided and first, surprise then terror registered quickly on their faces. The female passenger started screaming and shouting to the driver, I could practically taste their fear.

The soldier however, kept driving closer and closer his face stoic. The target steered his vehicle away from the motorcycle so as not to hit us, his gaze still glued upon us.

Two names flashed in my mind.

Howard.

Maria.

I blinked, unease suddenly in my chest, but too late.

The car hit the pole just as we planned.

The soldier stopped the bike and we disembarked. For the first time in so long I felt my heartbeat in my chest. It was as though my mind and body were no longer connected.

I knew them.

Painful static rang though my skull. The same pain that I experienced when I linger too long on the memories of the past.

Did I know them?

The soldier walked up to the target. He was already crawling out of the car blood spearing his face. He spoke his voice strangled and broken with pain, "Help my wife."he said pulling himself forward, "Please. Help."

The soldier only strode forward slowly and with purpose, his face expressionless, focused only on the mission. I stepped from behind the soldier to stand at his side and the target gasped.

"Sargent Barnes?" His dazed eyes sliding to mine, "Evelyn Rogers? How?"

The woman in the car called out then, "Howard!"

The soldier didn't respond to the target, he only completed his mission and as he dragged the lifeless man to the driver's seat, I walked around the vehicle. I moved to the woman who called frantically for her husband from the passenger seat.

I opened the door and she looked to me. Her eyes so filled with recognition drunk on fear. I couldn't help but let the curiosity roll though me.

"Evie, please, I don't know how this is possible but please save us," She must have recognised the grim expression on my face, and she began to plead, "please, you know me, you know Howard. Please don't do this, please, please."

I hated it when they begged.

I wrapped my hand around her throat and squeezed. I felt the heat of the soldier press into me from behind as I felt the life leave her body and the coldness of death seep in. He bent his body surrounding mine his mouth coming in hot on my neck.

"Home." He grunted and as I turned to look at him and captured his mouth with mine.

Mission complete.

James

Evie's eyes were vacant and far away.

I recognized that look.

She was lost in a memory, and not a good one.

"Hey," I said softly taking her hand to guide her though the darkness, pulling her close to my side wrapping my warmth around her cold frame. The sewer tunnels were dry of water and smelt of dry shit and blood, the temperature much colder than on the surface. My eyes had adjusted to the dim light, and I knew that hers would be soon to follow. She wouldn't look at me, "Hey," I tried again worry etching my tone. "Are you ok?"

She shook her head like she was attempting to shake away the memories that plagued her, "I'll be fine."

I could hear the lie.

I wasn't going to push but my insides felt like there were live eels in my guts. I didn't want to tell her what I found out, but she had to know. Maybe I could wait a little longer. "Let's get further ahead and then we can hunker down until its safer to go back to the streets."

She made a noncommittal humming sound, and I knew she had fallen back into the memories that were currently haunting her. I couldn't guess what they might be especially now since we were in her world. Not now that we were here in this hellscape that had broken her. That had turned her into an enemy. Not in the place where she had lost again and again her entire life.

We walked in silence for another twenty minutes before she stopped digging her heels into the dirty ground beneath her feet. I turned back to her when she tugged on my arm.

"Tell me."

I took a deep breath and swallowed thickly, "Evie..."

She shook her head.

"We're almost there." I shook my head, "then I will, and not until then, ok?"

The look of distrust in her eyes nearly broke me because she had never been like that with me. From the very first moment that I had tackled her to the ground when she fell from the portal. I'd looked at her with all of my hate and anger directed at her, but she had only looked at me with unrelenting love and relief behind those beautiful green eyes.

"Ok," she said finally but I could tell it took all of her willpower to agree to it.

It was only a few more minutes until the heavy steel door appeared on my right the peeling grey paint flecked the ground before it. I had been here earlier and scattered the chipping paint before the door so I could tell if anyone had tried to enter. It was just as I had left it and when I hauled open the doors an old subway station platform came into view.

I remembered these stations when I was a kid, they were beautiful with arched tiled ceilings and beautiful mosaic-stained glass that had an old world feel to them. They were beautiful pieces of art lost to time and to technology. The stations that existed now seemed so dull and lifeless and utilitarian compared to these beautiful pieces of history.

She took in a sharp breath, and I looked back to see tears in her eyes, "I- I didn't realize these were even still here."

I pulled her closer, guiding her to the ledge of the track to sit, "Some are open to tourists, some like this one was not deemed safe enough for the public," I explained jumping down onto the abandoned track offering her my hand and a useless piece of history to distract her, or maybe it was to distract myself. "Sit on the ledge ok, Sweetheart." She nodded her eyes still taking in the old glory that undoubtedly reminded her too of a happier time.

Her eyes finally landed on mine melancholy filling her face, "It's bad, isn't it?" She asked she looked so small and delicate then. I knew she wasn't, but I didn't want to be the one to make her tumble into the darkness that undoubtedly waited for her at the news.

I nodded moving forward pulling my hands on her knees placing my body between them, her thighs pressed against either side of my ribcage.

"Just tell me." Her voice was soft and a little far away.

I wet my lips, "Toni, the Toni from this world is working with Thanos."

Her face went pale.

I continued, "From what I gathered, it's been this way for some time."

She let loose a heavy sigh, "I'd like to say I'm surprised, but I'm not, there was no way Thanos could have known as much about the Avengers as he did without someone on the inside. I'd said as much once..." she trailed off and then let out a harsh scoff, "no one took any stock in it though."

No one... she probably meant Steve.

I had to look away from her because I couldn't stand to see the pain in her eyes, it was filling me with so much rage. I felt the tremble of my right hand where it rested on her hip, she instinctively placed her hand over mine comforting me, like she'd done a thousand times. I hated that even in this moment she thought of my comfort rather than her own, I hated that I couldn't protect her from this.

"There is more." I said tentatively.

I could hear her heart hammering in her chest.

I couldn't prolong it, even if it was so hard for me to say it because I knew it would hurt her, torment her because of everything that had happened not only here but in our world. Because of how deeply she had grieved him even if he didn't deserve it. "Captain America is with her."

Evelyn

James's words echoed in my head, they seemed to ricochet in my skull as ultimate betrayal burned through me like acid. I was silent letting them sink in my heart unable to accept it. Why would he have taken me to this other world? Was it to be with her? Had he been too much of a coward to just kill me?

I was silent for a long time my eyes focused on James's chest and the slow rise and fall of it as he breathed. I attempted to steady myself with it, like in the past when they would throw us in a cell after a round of torture. He would be so beaten and bloody that I could only calm myself that he was alive by counting the steady ragged breaths that he took.

"Say something," he said imploringly after the silence edged on forever.

I shook my head, "I  don't want to believe it," my mouth felt like sandpaper, "but I know in my heart you would never lie to me. There has to be a reason."

I knew the reason. I did but I wasn't willing to speak it out loud.

"The explosion?" I asked my brain finally kicking into gear.

"That was me," he confirmed though I already knew I just wanted to know why. His fingers now pressed almost painfully into me, "She was working on a portal to our would. To come for you. I couldn't allow it."

"Is she dead?" I asked. Hope filled my tone, and I was swiftly washed with shame I realized that I hoped that it was indeed the case.

"I don't know Evelyn," he couldn't meet my eye, "I hope she is, but Stark's notoriously have a way of surprising us."

"You saw him?" I asked knowing I didn't need to explain who I meant.

Steve.

A sneer fell on his face, "I did, and I know he is still alive, that's why it took me so long to come for you."

Fear blossomed in my chest, "He saw you?"

He nodded, "Looked like he saw a god damned ghost, right before he tried to take my head off with his shield."

Cold fear washed over me, and chills spread from my head to my toes. I would have to come face to face with my husband before I could leave this place and I just hoped I could kill him before he killed me and mine.