**An: It has been so long since I've updated but to make up for it this chapter is over ten thousand words. Also I think I re-wrote this chapter a grand total of three times because I was in a bit of a stump because I didn't... you know what?  Read and enjoy I won't say any more. ILY all thank you for your support.

TW** Infidelity

Steve

I was awoken by the sounds of Evelyn's soft cries. I sat up rubbing my eyes finding that the sun was rising through the trees, the early morning light casting a warm glow across the empty room. The sofa where she and Bucky had been sleeping was barren. Standing my aching muscles protested, old injuries becoming more painful as of late. No matter that the serum thrummed in my veins some injuries were still too much for my body not to complain, but it was not my body that concerned me.

It was her.

I moved towards the sounds of Evelyn's cries. The closer I got to her the more I could hear of what was happening. The gentle murmur of Bucky's voice tickled my ears through the closed door. His tone was so gentle and caring that it was nearly unrecognizable, this was the man I'd not recalled hearing in a great many years, definitely not the Bucky that had escaped Hydra's grasp. He spoke so softly in attempt to sooth her in a way I knew perhaps only he could, but I needed to learn too.

I knocked once on the door before I opened it, finding Evelyn curled up on Bucky's lap crying her heart out, "what happened?" I asked Bucky keeping my voice soft.

His eyes flicked up to mine for a moment and I noted that his hair was cut short, the fallen locks of his hair was strewn about on the floor around them. "I think," he said keeping his voice quiet, "that everything that has happened is hitting her now." His jaw was tight, he didn't like to see her like this, and honestly neither did I.

I wished that I could take that pain away from her.

I took another step into the room, Bucky looked up again and he offered me a solemn look, "Let me." I said swallowing thickly, "Let me take her, let me hold her."

I had ached to feel her in my arms from the moment Bucky had brought her into the library at the Sanctum. I'd only been able to hold her for just a brief moment then. Now she was here, back where she belonged and no longer was she in any physical pain, there was obviously still some mental distress. I wasn't surprised. Being taken. I felt the muscles in my shoulders tense, a lick of anger burning through me because she had been taken and it had taken far too long to get her back. Strong battle-hardened men had been taken captive and fared worse than Evelyn, but that is not to say there was the same torrent of fear just beneath her flesh.

She was strong, one of the strongest women I had ever met, strong and stubborn and beautiful. She was resilient and willing to do whatever it took to make sure that the ones she loved and cared for were safe. Even if it meant putting herself in harm's way. Yet right at this moment she was falling apart, and I could not hold it against her in the slightest.

Bucky nodded.

I moved towards them lifting her from his arms. Her emerald, green eyes lifted to mine, and I felt the wind being knocked from me with the depths of sadness that filled them.

"Evelyn," I spoke pulling her close to me and turning to walk from the room heading towards one of the two bedrooms in the hallway, "I've got you sweet girl."

She wrapped her arms around my neck her hot tears dampening the collar of my shirt, again I didn't care. I moved into the room, and I sat down on the bed still holding her in my arms. She crawled into my lap much like she had with Bucky.

"What's the matter Angel?" I asked tucking a lock of damp dark hair behind her ear.

I watched her throat bob as she tried to slow her tears, her cheeks were flushed and sweat was dotting her brow, "I- I miss them, Steve." She couldn't keep eye contact with me. "And I am ashamed because you are both here, and I think," she trailed off biting her lip in an attempt to stop the trembling of her chin, "No, I know that you have both treated me better than either of them ever did. Better than I have been treated in a very long time and I don't deserve it."

My heart clenched, I understood everything that she was feeling because I knew what it felt like not to feel like you would get the happy ending you had always hoped for. Our lives were not like the lives of the heroes in the stories and the comic books. We weren't riding off into the sunset with our soulmates. Our world was much darker, and we had to take what we could get. Evelyn was that for me, I mourned the life I could have had if she had not been taken from this world. I mourned it more than I ever mourned the life I thought I could have had with Peggy, because this woman right here and right now in my arms I loved so fiercely and so completely that I felt just as lost as she did right now.

She was perfect, not just for me but for my friend as well, and I knew in the depths of my very being that she was sent here for me. For both of us, and I would not let anything come between us not now, not ever. I would not let her take these feelings and think for a moment that she didn't deserve them.

"No," I said her eyes widening for a moment confused at my words. My tone harder than I had intended, showing her a strong wall, giving her something to drag herself up on. I caressed the side of her face gently, "I don't deserve you," her breath hitched, "no one does. You are complete perfection; you are everything I could have ever dreamed of in a woman. I know Bucky feels the same way. You fell into our laps and from the beginning you were too good to be true." I cleared my throat as my own emotion rose up, "It took me too long to see it, to see what I felt for you was stronger than attraction, it is more than just a need to own you, to have what I thought was owed to me."

Her dark brows pulled together.

"I care for you Evelyn," I said, "more than I've cared for anyone, and while you were gone, I was beside myself trying to find you and for the first time in my life I didn't do what the hero would do," Shame gutted me at my own words admitted out loud, "I didn't do what was best for the world, or even really for you. I chose the selfish path. I did everything within my power to get you back to me, even if it hurt you." Disdain burned through me at my own actions, and I had to look away from her large wonder filled eyes, "I was not Captain America, searching for a lost woman, I was Steve Rogers, tearing through the multiverse to take back what he deemed his."

I felt nausea rise up within me at my own admission. I swallowed the lump in my throat as I continued, "It's ok to miss them, and it's ok to feel something different for Bucky and me than what you felt for them. I don't expect you to love me Evelyn, but I'm going to try my damnedest to make you fall in love with me. I will be whatever you need me to be, I will do whatever you need me to do."

She lifted her hand and placed it over my lips to stop me from talking and my heart jackhammered in my chest fear that she was going to reject me sent cold fear through my entire body.

Evelyn

I felt like there was a thousand small ants tap dancing in my stomach at the same time as an icy fear spread up my spine at Steve's admission. I could not allow him to follow in the footsteps of my Steve. I shook my head.

His lips felt like flames beneath my fingers where I had placed them to make him stop admitting his inner most workings, "I don't want that," I softly said my voice thick, but the tears were ebbing, "I had that, and it was awful." I thought back to the man who sacrificed half of New York just to be with me. And I was pained to see the rejection brimming in his blue eyes. I continued if only to clarify what I meant, "I admire you because of your nobility, your drive to save every life that is in your hands. "My own included," I let my hand fall away and I sat up kneeling beside him on the bed placing my hands on my thighs as I spoke tears shining in my eyes, "I love you Steve Rogers, not because you would burn the world to find me, but because you are strong and kind and caring especially to those you love. I love that even though it's not your fault, you have taken the burden of responsibility for all of those you deem under your care and protection. I love that you are filled with guilt because you almost left them, to chase a boyish dream. I love that you feel like you failed them because of all those you've lost." His chest rose and fell rapidly as I spilled his truth, the truth that he'd not yet admitted to himself, "You admit when you are wrong, you know when you're right and if given the chance you would fight side by side with all of the heroes of this world again and again. You would do everything and anything to save everyone despite what you may have ever felt towards them, as long as they were on the side of good. I love you, Steve Rogers." A grin tipped my lips.

He looked stunned, and my heart tripped in my chest because I had admitted to both of the men that I loved them and now there was no turning back.

His eyes lit up and I was reminded of the boy I knew all those years that could barely walk across the street without having to pause for breath. The kind boy who wanted so many great things in the world, the boy who spoke of the things he read in books with such passion you would have believed he saw them with his own eyes. This man he became sat before me, he didn't allow the world to jade him or to become a creature of his own fame and infamy.

An enormous smile lit up his face, "You love me?" Genuine joy spread across his features. He looked like a kid on Christmas.

I nodded a laugh that I couldn't help fall from my lips, he sounded so excited, and I knew he was seeing what I saw to.

A future.

"Me too," he stuttered suddenly and then he really did remind me of the boy, "I-I love y-you too!"

Swifter than I expected he moved towards me wrapping his arms around me his lips coming down on mine. His kiss was searing, and I could feel his own heart pounding in his chest matching the beat of my own. His hands fisted in the back of my t-shirt pressing me against him he moved his mouth from mine and buried his face into the side of my neck, "I'm so glad we've got you back."

"Me too." I said biting my lip to stop the new tears that threatened to fall.

I felt the bed behind me dip and another set of warm hands were on me rubbing warm circles on my back. My stomach dipped and I pulled back as much as Steve would allow me to turn my head to James. He moved closer and wrapped us both in his arms and no longer could I quell my tears. My heart felt so full I thought it might burst.

Unknown

My ship landed on the decimated ruins of Earth, and I felt the frown deepen on my face. I had never wanted to return here but this is where the Mad Titan still resided. The ramp of my ship extended, and I was hit with the scent of death and destruction. There was nothing left here but ruins and vermin and annihilation.

Word had it only a small number of humans remained here and Thanos, desired nothing more than to seek them out and destroy them all. All because of a foiled plan that could not be complete led with the mere snap of his fingers. He'd waged a far larger war than he had initially intended.

A sneer fell on my lips as my boots crunched in the debris as I made my way to where the man himself stood waiting. His large imposing figure once terrified me, what it would mean for me and mine to have him anywhere near. But now I almost view him as pathetic, a man that is all he was. A deluded man that only sought to finish the quest he had begun long ago. The snap from the incomplete stones had ravaged his body, the unstable power had destroyed the mighty giant. Black snaked through his veins, like a poison his power not what it once was, the stones now melded with his flesh and though he would never admit it, the stones were slowly destroying his body, like a host that was being consumed like a parasite.

"Thanos," I said as I strode up to him.

He looked down his nose at me a sneer falling to his face, and he turned to walk away, "Report."

I arched a brow and fell into step beside him, "Mordo failed, as you know, and Thaw got away, back into the other universe." I said.

He paused his step for a moment, "Of that I am already aware."

I gave him a hard look knowing he was reaching for the wrong things, "I think the question you should be asking Thanos is how are we getting her back?" I said my voice filling with anger.

"It is not as simple as that." He said and I couldn't help the annoyance that filtered through me, "We still cannot decipher how the Sorcerer managed to open a portal to another realm."

"It has to be pretty simple if Mordo did it." I said simply, "Twice."

He turned to me his face filled with a fury that one would have made me wet myself, yet I only returned his angry glare. "Mordo is dead. His secrets died with him, the fool continued to hang on to his beliefs that the timelines should remain pure, the fool." He said turning back to the direction he had been heading.

I cursed, I had not given Mordo enough credit apparently, "Then why did you kill him?"

"I didn't." he said his voice again filled with rage, "The imbecile ended his own life when I demanded he open a portal for me and my army."

I cursed again gritting my teeth so hard my jaw ached. "So that's why I am here then, you want me to find a way to open a portal?"

"Precisely," he grinned as he stood at the edge of what was once the Hudson river, now dry as a bone the ruins of New York marring the sky like an ugly reminder of what had once been. "If anyone can, it would be you Stark."

Evelyn

Steve nor James allowed me to speak about what I had learned in the demon realm, not for that first day, they wanted me to rest, but that was impossible. I couldn't sit in this forest cabin and hide from the world when I knew that Thanos was doing everything in his power to get the stones from my body. I could only imagine what would happen if he was able to jump to this world like I had. What destruction he would wage on the people of this world. The revenge he would take not only on me for foiling his plans, but the destruction he would cause in retaliation for the residents of this place for destroying his counterpart.

Thankfully there were no stones here to use against him.

Just what resided within me.

There was only a world of people who were still trying to heal after what had happened to them.

I tore through the closet that Pepper had stocked for me, and I smiled when I reached the back of the closet to find what I hoped she might leave for me after our extensive conversations. We had spoken so much at her home, she knew what I had been in my world, what I could do, what I had done, who I was. She was not naïve to the fact that a hero may not simply be able to hang up their armour and live like they wished, just because that is what they wished. She knew that more than anyone especially when she looked at her daughter, knowing that her father sacrificed everything even though he swore he was done with being an Avenger.

We were never done.

And I needed to bring back the only person who could possibly save us from the threat that had begun to ebb into this world.

Thaw.

The Winter Soldier's companion, together we were unstoppable and undeniably deadly.

My fingers brushed the black material, the fabric soft and strong. I swallowed hard. My throat dry as I peeled off the clothes that I had been wearing to adorn myself in my armour.

It mirrored that which James had worn as the Winter Soldier, and I felt my mind swiftly changing with every button and zipper and snap buckle clasped. The memories of what we had done, what I had done burned through me. Though much like James had done on this world in Wakanda, in my world we had both had those words burned out of us. There was nothing left but the horrible memories and the burning guilt that roared so loudly from within because we had been made to do the unthinkable. The high collar felt like it was choking me, perhaps it was all of those deaths that lingered in my mind's eye the guilt strangling me more than the fabric ever could. All of the souls of the people Hydra had me murder to further their agenda were spectres that hid in my shadow never to let me forget. Perhaps it was the thought that I might have to kill again, that brought this all up, perhaps it was because of the plan that formed in my mind in the night as I lay between the two soldiers, it was hard to say. Yet I knew that I would do everything in my power to make sure that the ones I loved, and the ones that they loved be able to live the life that they deserved.

Behind where the uniform had been a sleek black metal cabinet lay hidden at the back of the closet. My fingers itched as I reached out to grasp the yellow sticky note stuck to the door. The combination for the lock scrawled in Pepper's tidy handwriting. Opening it I found everything I would need. Weapons of all shapes and sizes all of which I had described to her while we had spoken. Though I knew everything had been supplied by Pepper, the Stark Tec logo which was emblazoned on the equipment stirred unwanted memories. Memories that made my stomach tighten with fear and anger.

I stood in the lab.

My body ached still from the injuries I'd sustained fighting Thanos though most of them were fully healed still something never felt quite right after that. My stay in the hospital had been longer than I had expected and more than anything I wanted all of this fighting to be done. Yet word had it that Thanos had not left our world for good. He had returned and it was said that he was searching for something, and this was the perfect opportunity for us to gather our remaining resources and go after him. Yet I seemed to be having so much trouble convincing anyone of this plan. Especially with all of the physical losses we'd sustained let alone all of the people we'd lost.

I donned my suit.

One that had been made for me before we fought Thanos. Before the accords were signed. Before I realized how much I hated Toni Stark.

The black armoured fabric was one of Toni's designs, thin, pliant, bullet proof but still so similarly modelled after my old Hydra uniform it was hard not to recall everything that I had done while I fought along side the Winter Soldier. It wasn't just armour. In a way it was also a disguise. One that would help me put aside everything that we had lost, everything that I'd lost.

I traced the scar hidden beneath my suit solemnly.

This was a way to keep my mind busy in an attempt to forget we had failed. The constant ache of tears seemed to burn my throat nowadays and I had to hold back a cry as I finally finished zipping and snapping the closures of my new suit. The suit that Toni had in the lab I'd broken into, because I'd not been able to convince anyone to bring it to me.

The door to the weapon's lab opened and my eyes met with Steve's. They were sad and yet somehow hopeful, but once he realized what I was doing his face had gone to stone.

"No, take it off." He said his voice already loud.

I shook my head, "No."

"I said take it off," he stalked towards me, and I backed up away from him and suddenly I was fearful of him, something that I never thought I would be. I'd never seen such rage in his face, never directed towards me only saved for his enemies.

The click of heels on the floor behind him caught my attention, and my eyes dashed away from him. Steve sighed and pressed his eyes tightly closed as Toni came to stand beside him her face set into a superior expression, one she saved for only me it seemed.

"Sorry to interrupt a lovers quarrel," she smirked, "Or maybe it's just foreplay, it's hard to tell with you two lately."

"Not now Toni," Steve looked over his shoulder and I didn't miss hurt that flashed in her eyes before that smug look she seemed to have forever glued to her face since I awoke in hospital. It was as though in her mind we had not lost the battle at all.

She cocked her hip folding her arms under her breasts, "We only came to investigate the proximity alert alarms in my lab,"

We. That word set a cold pit in my stomach.

Toni stepped away from Steve and closer to me, "You sure you should be up and around sweetie?" The fake saccharine of her tone set my teeth on edge.

I could feel an unbridled rage that blurred with longing and regret within me when she placed a hand over her abdomen. I bit my lip to stop myself from saying anything else as I began to strap myself with weapons. A spear of hurt burned inside of me, right where Thanos had ruined my future.

"Maybe you can talk some sense into her," I heard Steve say to her and I wanted to reach out and strike him as if he couldn't fathom why she could never say anything to me that would make me change my mind.

I scoffed and a humourless laugh fell from my lips. Toni had nothing to say to me that wasn't condescending or bloated with ire. She had nothing to offer me other than to completely disappear from my life.

"Oh, come now Steve," she turned to face him her body moved closer to his, "You know that's not going to happen, once she has something in her mind, she is not going to let it go." I felt her words in my soul, it was the same thing she had said to me when I found out what she had been doing behind my back before shit hit the fan.

"I'm right here you know," I scowled, "And if no one else is going to face Thanos then I will do it myself." I could feel the tears burning in my eyes and I tried to swallow them down.

Steve's tone had gone soft, "Come on Sunshine, you know that would be a death sentence."

"Better than hiding, isn't it?" I countered.

He took a deep breath his gaze moving from me to Toni it skated down her body to where she rubbed over her slightly rounded stomach. His eyes softened further before they moved back to me, and I wanted to scream.

"Let her go," Toni's tone was flippant, and I caught the expression on her face that Steve could not because he was still staring down at her manicured hand.

"I hate you." The words fell form my lips before I could stop them and, in that moment, I wasn't sure who they were meant for.

Steve had the audacity to look hurt.

I clenched my fists, "I know you both think of me as a wilted flower, weak and unable to function without either of you but that is so far from the truth," now the dam was burst wide open and nothing could stop it, "I was an indomitable force wielded by our worst enemy before Thanos showed up. I am not weak, and I will not let either of you tell me what I can and cannot do."

Steve looked hurt by my words, but they were quickly covered with anger, "I know you must miss Bucky but don't let a quest for revenge lead you to your death. You are my wife. I need you here safe with me."

I felt like I was crawling out of my skin with fury, "Oh yes, I am your wife." My eyes flashed to Toni, "Then remind me how your child ended up inside of her!"

There was shocked silence and I sneered, Thaw was fully in control now, "That's what I thought."

I looked at myself in the long mirror attached to the back of the bedroom door. I frowned.

There she was.

Though Evelyn Rogers looked into the mirror, Thaw stared back at me.

She was a beast I thought I could put to rest long before coming to this world. I barely recognized the woman I saw standing before me, her eyes were filled with so much anger and terror and another ten thousand other emotions that welled from deep within me. I realized while laying between the two super soldiers the night before that could no longer sit idle and wait for my enemies to come for me. I had a plan and I needed Doctor Strange to help me put into action.

James would hate it.

Steve might hate it more.

But it was I who feared it the most. I feared what I might find, feared that there would be no coming back and everything that I had done to get away from my enemy would be for nothing.

There was a soft knock at the door before it opened and I stepped back. Steve stood on the other side and his eyes widened when he saw me.

"What is this?" he said his voice filled with trepidation and dread.

"This," I said my hand brushing against the gun holstered at my side, "this is Thaw. This is who will save us, and" I narrowed my eyes, "this is something that we are not going to argue about." I could not help but think back to my husband's reaction.

His eyes went hard, and his jaw set, and I knew then that we would indeed be arguing about this.

"Absolutely not," he said stepping into the room forcing me to take a step back away from him, "There is no way that I am going to allow you to put yourself in any sort of danger."

I shook my head steeling my voice, "You absolutely will allow it because I will not live in fear anymore you don't get a say in this."

"The hell I do," he ran his fingers through his short hair making it stand on end, "What was the point of bringing you here to keep you safe if you are just going to go back and throw yourself into danger anyway?"

I grit my teeth then pushed passed him to march out of the door, "I am not running anymore." I said. A sick sense of déjà vu coursed through me.

"It's not running," he argued spinning and grasping me around my bicep, his jaw ticked.

I was forced to turn to him his grip like a vice against me. I tried to wrench away but his strength proved to be far superior to mine, "Let. Me. Go." I said tightly.

"No." He argued his eyes like flame.

I spun under his arm twisting out of his grip and sprinted for the door knocking over a table with a lamp on it sending it crashing to the floor with the sound of breaking glass.

"What's going on!" I heard a shout from outside the front door and it opened revealing James standing on the other side his chest rising and falling quickly fear in his eyes as they darted between Steve and me. They landed on me, and he did a double take realising what I was wearing his gaze moved down to the weapon at my side. "Evie, what is going on? Where are you going?"

I looked back to Steve who stood with his back to the exit in the kitchen and then to James who stood in the front doorway. "I'm going back to Strange. I have to deal with this and nothing you will say can talk me out of this."

James eyes flicked to Steve, then back to me, "Calm down and let's talk about this."

"There is nothing to talk about," Steve interrupted, "I won't let this happen."

"I told you Rogers, there is nothing to talk about." I widened my stance my eyes moving to the window wondering if I could clear it before either of them caught me."

James's voice was calm as he spoke watching me eye the window and I knew he realized what I was thinking, "Let us help."

I blinked.

"What?!" Steve's eyes had gone murderous.

He looked first to me and then to Steve, "She is going to do this with or without our help pal," he folded his arms across his chest and my heart soared because he understood, "I would rather be at her side then wondering where she is. I won't be away from her and if going along with whatever she has planned will keep her with me then so be it."

I smiled widely at James and stepped towards him lifting up on my toes I kissed him on the mouth, "Thank you." Turing back to Steve I spoke, "Are you gonna put away your attitude and talk to me or are you just going to glare at him like a goon?"

Steve huffed and leaned against the door, and he too folded his arms across his chest. "Fine."

I grinned even wider glad that this man could see what I needed and was able to relent. "See?" I said adding a purr to my tone, "How much better things go when we talk instead of acting like a barbarian."

James chuckled behind me, he placed a hand on my shoulder and spoke into my ear, "The first thing I wanna talk about is this outfit, you look fucking sexy."

Steve rolled his eyes and pushed off the door and towards us, "Only you would find a gun wielding assassin sexy."

The wide beautiful smile on James face made my thighs clench, "You're telling me you wouldn't want those thighs wrapped around your neck," he brushed up against me his fingers sliding around the front of me to fan out over my stomach pulling me tight against his hard body, "Cause I fucking do."

I ground my ass back into him placing my hand over his

Steve groaned deflating slightly, "So do I Buck, so do I," he grumbled.

Toni Stark

"If anyone can, it would be you Stark." Thanos eyed me with a hard glance.

"I'd thank you for your confidence, but it's impossible." I said in a matter-of-fact way.

He glared down harder at me.

I hummed under my breath an amused expression on my face, "Listen, you should have come to me about Thaw first before going to Mordo."

He took a deep breath, "I didn't come to you for a reason." He said.

"Oh?" I stopped and put my hand on his forearm, "Pray tell why is that?"

He stopped and looked down at my hand before meeting my eyes, "You are emotionally invested in this and I can appreciate revenge as much as the next, but I don't need any foolish attempts to be made because your feelings were hurt."

I scoffed tossing my hair, "My feelings have nothing to do with it."

"You lie Stark as usual. Don't bother to tell me otherwise." He shook my hand off his arm, "Those emotions are the only reason I approached you in the first place. The Avengers were scattered without you."

I preened at his words, he was right, the Avengers could hardly fight him off with me on their side, let alone hold off his armies without me. "Yes, well the Avengers are all dead now."

His tone darkened, "If they were all simply dead then we wouldn't be having this conversation," he paused his jaw tensed before he spoke again, "and don't you think for a minute I don't know what you are hiding from me."

A fear like ice spread through me at his words a shiver slid up my spine, "I don't know what you're talking about." I lied, my heart rate doubling.

He made a non-committal noise, and I knew he was unwilling to say more on the subject, "I brought you here Stark to fix a problem not to cause more."

"So what, you want me to manufacture a portal that rips though the multiverse? What then?" I asked, "You gonna decimate all of the multiverses?"

"Don't be absurd," he said, "I want what is mine, I want those shards back from Thaw, and I want to rip her to shreds for the headache."

I pursed my lips into a pout, "And here I thought you were going to leave that to me."

He laughed humourlessly, "I'm not sure you can be trusted with that Stark, you have a rather obnoxious flair for dramatics."

I tried to look offended but failed, "Seriously, what would you have me do?" I questioned.

Thanos turned to me again, "Just as you suggested. Either bring her here or bring me there I do not care which just do it." With that he turned and walked away.

Evelyn

My boots echoed on the polished wooden floor the doors to Strange's library swung open before me of their own fruition. Strange knew I was here; he knew why I was here. His eyes met mine over the short distance across the room and I could not help the small relief that flooded me that we might be able to finish this before things got worse. Before the enemy could move against us again. No more would I run. No more would I be waiting for them to come to me. I would not live my life in fear of what was next to come.

"I have read the book." He said his voice moving across the room to me. The two soldiers that flanked me kept their bodies stiff ready for whatever danger may come. One more so than the other. I reached out and took James' hand in my own squeezing it tightly. I felt him ease slightly but when I caught his eyes there was only a hardness there as he gazed back at the sorcerer. I understood why. He had whispered into my ear for many nights in a row all of the things that had gone through his mind when he heard that Steve had asked the sorcerer to call to the eye that in turned called to the stones in my body. He worries what had happened to me, what became of me and if I could return to him. Yet I had, I had returned and there was nothing now that could tear me away, apart from my own death and I would not allow that. Steve had begged his forgiveness, yet James had merely met his eyes neither accepting nor acknowledging his plea. I could not force his hands, nor his emotions and I knew it was not something I could even ask of him. How could I? I had no right after I'd basically told them that I would either be with both of them or none of them at all. I had such deep shame that stemmed from the era I grew up, how I had been raised but after so much war and death and loss how could anyone even ask me to give up who I loved. I could never. Never again.

I knew Strange was speaking to me, but my mind was not laser focus on him but rather on James and then to the heat of the body on the other side of me his body geared in a tac suit that matched our own. Except for the white star emblazoned on his chest, a symbol that told the world who he was and who he fought for. Except perhaps this war was not for America. This war was for the Captain himself. A war that sustained his own plan for a future he wanted and a future that he deserved.

"You're not listening to me, are you?" Strange shook me from my thoughts and I pulled my lip between my teeth.

I flushed, "I'm sorry, I have to admit I am eager to have this done and I am very, very nervous."

He nodded his hard grey eyes softened as he watched the two men at my flank press in closer when they had heard my admission as though they could stop the nervousness that burned through me with their shear will. "I do have some questions though." Strange said his fingers trailing over the worn leather book, droplets of my blood still flecking the cover.

"I am sure you do, I will do my best to answer them, though after reading that book, I'm sure you know more than I do." I spoke my guts roiling afraid of what he might say.

"Of that I'm certain you are correct." He paused as though he was thinking of a way to word his next phrase his dark brows pulled together, and he tilted his head to the side, "Evelyn, how did my counterpart explain his return to you on the last battlefield?"

It was not the first time I'd thought back on this moment, "there wasn't much time for explanations. it's like I told the others, Thanos wanted to punish me like all the others for attempting to throw a flail in his plans. After he snapped half the universe away, he disappeared only to return not half a year later and this time he stayed and made it his new mission to destroy each, and every survivor left on the planet. He was looking for something, what we never found out." I paused, "No, I had never found out." I explained to them what Mordo had shown me, what I had overheard Steve and Toni speaking about when I was in the hospital after returning from Titan.

Thanos had been looking for me.

Strange listened his eyes had gone far off as though he was making conclusions of his own that he didn't plan on sharing. He spoke, "Yet somehow during this battle you and Steve Rogers survived." It wasn't a question.

I nodded, "Strange showed up seemingly out of thin air taking both of us by the hand just as we were about to be blown to smithereens defending the last survivors." I paused forcing myself to remember every single detail, "He opened a pocket dimension, I'm pretty sure that's what he called it, I can't say how long we were in there but when he brought us out the battle was done and there was not a single survivor."

He looked thoughtful as he stepped around the desk, "why can't you say how long you were in the pocket dimension?"

I felt my heart stumble and fear dragged through me suddenly, like a memory itching at the back of my scull, "I- I don't know..."

Steve's hand slid into mine and I squeezed it in my own.

"You need you to try and think." Strange pushed. Taking another step closer.

James stepped in front of me wedging his leg between me and Strange. He put his hand out pressing it against the other man's chest, "you need to take a step back pal." James warned.

Strange looked down to where the vibranium arm was pressed over the eye of Agamotto.

A threat.

I will crush it and you.

I could practically hear him speak the words. Part of me was embarrassed the other part aroused knowing what he would do to protect me.

I reached out to James taking his right hand in mine, doing what I could to alleviate the tension, Strange was after all only asking questions.

"The pocket dimension was odd, everything seemed to move too fast and too slow at the same time it's like time almost didn't exist. I know we were there for a significant amount of time, but I when I try to think about what happened there it's like, I blink my eyes and we're back on the battleground." I chewed on my lip.

"I think Strange explained his plan to you then." He did step away from James then, "or rather, I should say I, explained your own plan to yourself."

Steve

I felt I was listening to one of those afternoon dramas that were all over the television. The ones that you had to watch for years at a time to know what was really going on. Because I felt lost and confused and I was starting to feel anger course beneath my skin.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I blurted.

"I think he's talking about time travel?" Bucky's brows were knitted together, and it pissed me off more that he seemed to be following along better than I was.

I looked from the two men then down to Evelyn to find the colour drained from her cheeks and her eyes wide. I had to bite back the urge to pull her away from Stephen and James and into my chest where I knew I could protect her from any and all danger. I squared my shoulders as my eyes met the sorcerers because James' words were confirmed, "so what exactly are you trying to say here?"

It wasn't Strange that spoke it was Evelyn, "He means that we are going to go there," she cleared her throat her eyes flashing to Strange, "back to my world and make sure there is no way anyone can come after us ever again."

My mind blanked.

Was I really hearing what she was saying?

Was it really a possibility?

I had done things to defeat Thanos that were actions you only ever hoped to read about in fiction. So why was this something that I had a hard time wrapping my brain around? "Please explain to me what I'm missing then." I said hoping they could catch me up because no matter how hard I tried there was nothing I could do to make my mind understand what Strange was saying.

Strange's eyes met mine and he took a deep breath, and I could already sense the weight of his words, "It was not the Doctor Strange from her world that took it upon himself to spare Evelyn and her husband from Thanos," his voice sounded oddly strangled, "it was me."

My stomach dropped at the weight of his words.

Evelyn seemed to cave in on herself and I moved towards her for comfort before I could stop myself.

"This journal is written as an instruction manual to me," Strange swallowed thickly, "from me."

Bucky seemed to accept this easier than I did, and I looked to him for some sort of support. Yet all I was faced with was hardened acceptance.

Bucky opened his mouth his eyes hard, and the words seemed to tumble from his lips, "Then we have to trust it. Trust you." The words sounded like it hurt for him to say them out loud. I watched his jaw clench in aggravation. I knew he wanted to distrust Strange but knowing that he had saved Evelyn from Thanos had given him a reason to respect him.

I wanted to fight.

I wanted to tell Strange no.

I wanted to tell him that there were a thousand other things that we could do.

I knew I was wrong.

Strange had already gone to her world and led her here. He had brought the light of my life into my arms. How could I fight this if I knew it was the only way to have her brought to me in the first place. Evelyn turned to me, and my heart thudded painfully in my chest. My knees felt weak and as her bright eyes met mine, I knew I could do nothing but agree to whatever she asked. I should have known there was no way for me to come out of this without her by my side. She was made for me, and I had to be thankful that she was brought here to complete my life because I could not imagine it without her anymore. No matter what they wanted to happen I knew I would agree to whatever it was no matter if I agreed to it or not.

Her face was open to me waiting for me to tell her that I would follow her to the gates of hell itself. I knew I would, and I hoped that she knew it too without me having to say so. Yet what else could I do. I could see how she deferred to me. I didn't want that. I wanted the woman who had fought me at every turn. The woman that told me she was going to go no matter what I said. But here we were, and she stood before me with a keen look in her eye. A look that begged for me to give her permission.

Permission that she never required because it was me who would follow her into the very bowels of the beast. I would face the mad titan a thousand times if only I could hold her in my arms for the rest of my life or die trying. I knew I would perish a happy man knowing I'd had her only once.

And that was enough for me.

"Steve," she interrupted my thoughts, "we have to do this." Her voice was filled with such conviction, as though she thought I needed convincing. "It's the only way we won't have to run for the rest of our lives. It's the only way that we will be able to live the way that we want."

I wanted to tell her that she didn't have to convince me. I wanted to tell her I would throw myself off a bridge if she asked me to. I wanted to say a thousand things to prove to her that my love was what she deserved but my mouth was so dry that my tongue was stuck to the roof of my mouth. I wanted to tell a thousand things, but it would take more than the strength of the serum in my blood to pry my lips apart. So, I merely nodded.

I would do anything for her.

I would do anything for Bucky.

I would do anything that it took to deserve this happily ever after she spoke about so plainly.

She nodded back relief in her eyes. Her face held a look that was so solemn that I worried about what else she knew that she had not yet spoken of. She turned back to Strange. I could see the heavy beat of her pulse at her throat. It was fast. I saw the sweat beaded on her flesh.

"What do we need to do now?" She asked.

Strange moved back to the table leaning over the book that still sat splayed open on the table before him. "We need to open the portal."

"That's it?" Bucky asked his face set into a grim line. Almost as though he was disappointed the task sounded so simple.

Strange nodded but his expression was tight, "and then we hope that whatever my other self found in Mordo's palace is enough to take us to our end goal."

Peace.

Evelyn

I wasn't sure I could tell him.

How do you tell someone you know they'll die?

I was certain whatever Stephen had eventually learned in Mordo's palace led to his subsequent death.

My palms were damp with sweat.

How do you tell someone that a mission that would lead you to a life of complete freedom and happiness would lead them to their own demise? I felt the ache of sadness and fear at the back of my throat and try as a I might to control the emotions welling up within me it still rose to the surface. Yet as my eyes met Stephan's I knew there would be no talking him out of this, I could already see his own plans manifesting in his brilliant mind and nothing I would say could sway him either way.

Fear swelled within me at the thought of my men meeting their own deaths on this mission. How could I willingly take them into this war zone, how could I ask them to put their lives in danger? I knew they would not question or shy away from this, but I had no right to ask them to.

"Wait," I called out, "We can't." The words broke me.

"What?" James turned to me his eyes filled with confusion.

"We can't, but I can. There is too much else at stake here in this world for me to take you away for this, from me." I said. "I will go on my own."

I could sense the anger welling from all of the men bathed in their own frustration. Because they all knew what was at stake. Be it my life or our freedom from Thanos irrevocably. I knew before they spoke there would be no way that I would be going on my own.

"It's not going to happen," James growled.

"I won't put anyone's life in danger." I frowned digging my heels proverbially and physically into the ground.

"You're just going to do this on your own then? I don't think so." James turned to me and the feral accusation in his voice was like a slap in the face. I had to turn away from him because I couldn't stand that look anymore. I faced Strange again steeling myself my expression bathed in brutal honesty my fear plain. I could feel the sweat on my back, on my neck, beading around my hair line. I knew what had to be done. I had to tell him the worst of what I knew no matter how terrible it might be, "You will die in Mordo's palace." I said. My voice stronger than I thought it would be.

Silence.

I was met with that ear splitting silence for so long that I felt the need to shift the weight from one foot to another. But there were no cries of outrage or pleading merely just that deafening silence and Strange's stoic expression.

I blinked. Strange did not seem surprised. If anything, it looked as though I had confirmed something for him that he already suspected. His face was set in calm determination.

"If this is what it takes to end the threat that Thanos once again brings to this world then I am ready to face whatever may come."

My own silence filled the room, the soldier's behind me were quiet as well as they looked between Stephen and I. I stepped around the table stopping to stand next to the sorcerer, I placed my hand on his forearm and opened the book to the back page picking up a pen I began to draw diagrams, "If this is what you desire than let me tell you what I saw and perhaps it can best prepare you for what may come."

Bucky

I was silent as I watched her speak to Strange, I couldn't help but listen to the terrors. The dozens of horrors she had witnessed in Mordo's palace, his laboratory the secret room she'd found and how to find it. The descriptions of the nightmare beasts and the threats that had been uttered towards her my own rage amping up my adrenaline pulsing through my veins. There was that aching throb in the back of my mind that was always there when I was to set out on a mission that no matter what they did to fix me in Wakanda was always there. My body always recalled all of the tortures it had endured over so many years in the hands of my enemies. It didn't matter if I was triggered into become the Winter Soldier or not, there was always the lingering memory, lingering sensation that could bring me back, but now there was her. Evie would always be my tether to the ground, to the future, to the promise of what there might be on the other side of anything that we might face. There was more at stake with this mission then there had ever been with any other mission before and I couldn't help but feel the familiar dread rise within me. It was like knowing you would fail before you even left the barracks. We had faced Thanos before, and we had not come out unscathed. As if surviving Hydra was not enough, dealing with the aftereffects of the brainwashing and the blip almost seemed more than enough for an undamaged brain to deal with let alone my own. I watched Evie, as though I was afraid, she would disappear.

Man, It was always at the back of my mind because I knew how much I didn't deserve her, a man like Steve was what she deserved a good man who always did what was right. I clenched and unclenched my fists at my side. No matter what I thought I would support her. Hell, if she told me that if I only wore pink again for the rest of my life it would get us through this mission than I would. I might hate it with a fiery passion. But I would do it because she asked.

I could see how much it had hurt her to tell Strange that he wouldn't make it out of this and even though I didn't want to have another lost life looming over our heads I knew there would be no way of talking the sorcerer out of it.

My eyes moved from her and over to my friend, his eyes were still on her taking in everything that she said as though it was a life preserver. I knew how he felt because if it was just an inkling of what I felt I knew that he too would do anything to make sure she made it out of this alive.

Anything.

"Buck," he whispered under his breath. His eyes turned to mine and my breath was knocked out of me at the desperation in his gaze and I understood it all too well.

I nodded knowing he didn't need to say anything more. "Until the end of the line." I whispered back.

He nodded and slowly his eyes moved back to her.

Until the end of the fucking line.

Stephen Strange

The power rippled down my body, more power than I ever recalled trying to wield, more power than was safe for one man to wield. This portal was like none other than I had tried to open. This portal was to a place I had never seen, a portal to a place that I could barely even see in my mind's eye. A portal to a place decimated by Thanos. Every part of me screamed out to stop, to cease this foolish endeavour.

I knew I could not.

I pulled power from the Multiverse, and I felt it flow through me in a powerful surge. My muscles ached and pleaded for me to stop but I only pushed for more. A hand grasped at my forearm, and I felt a power within it that I had only felt while wielding the time stone and I pulled from that too.

From Evelyn Rogers.

I heard Evelyn cry out, but I could not stop. I knew she felt the pull of power, but still, I could not stop. I heard the soldiers come up behind her their bodies propping her up when she told them she was alright.

Still, I pulled more.

I felt as though I was trying to push through an invisible fog.

The golden sparks of the portal formed, and a great rush of wind and power pulled at my clothing, sending the papers from my desk flying around the room, pens rolled on the floor. The air was dragged from my lungs when it finally formed.

With another heaving push of energy, I stabilized the portal, and I shouted over the culling wind, "Go now!" I cried.

And we stepped through the portal.

And closer to my eventual death.

Evelyn

The familiar sensation of my body being compressed filled me as we moved though the portal. My blood thrummed like fire in my chest and then we were through. I sagged to the ground when Strange loosed his hold on the energy from the Stones that I had given him. James and Steve were on the ground on either side of me, the dry earth pressed beneath my fingernails where I clutched them in the ground beneath me.

The wretched stink of smoke and fire and destruction filled my nostrils. The all too familiar scent of the fire and death of this world brought back with it a thousand other emotions that I was not yet ready to confront. Yet that is exactly what I would have to do wasn't it?

Slowly I stood to my feet, the sky was hidden by a heavy layer of oily black smoke, and I knew without an inkling of a doubt I was back.

I looked up to Strange who had a solemn yet determined look upon his features. His face set in grim resolve as he began to weave a spell once again. The Stones inside of me roiled painfully once again.

"Remember everything I said," my voice reached his and his gaze flashed to my own and he nodded.

"I will see you on the other side of this," he said as the suffocating pull of his power seemed to wrench the air from my lungs, this time it was as though only the remnants of the time stone within me spun and twisted painfully within as he unleashed its power. The book held in one hand, written to him by his former self as an instruction manual, his cape fluttered in the stinking wind, the power that he wielded, all of it stole my breath. He didn't look back when the portal opened, he merely stepped towards it and in the blink of an eye, he was gone.

My entire body ached with relief as his hold on the stones immediately dissipated, heavy sadness at his departure burned me. I knew what he would have to face, I knew his fate and the demise of the infamous Doctor Strange was another name added to my ledger.

I was pulled into a hard body. Steve's arms wrapped around me pressing my head into his chest, "You, ok?" He asked his voice quiet but when I looked up, I could see how he ate up the world around him.

My world.

Back in the ruins of New York.

Forever smouldering in utter decimation.

"Welcome home." I said softly to myself, unable to come to terms with the fact I had returned to the place that I had fled with a promise to never return.