A/N: late posting life has been insane the last few weeks so it is finally here. I love this chapter so much so I did happen to take my time with it. So I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

**TW** Sterility

The sky blazed with a shock of brilliant vermillion. A powerful shock of ozone left a sharp oxygenated taste in my mouth yet all I could register was pain. Pain in my body as it lay torn and bleeding and pain in my heart for everything we lost and would undoubtedly lose. My thoughts immediately went to Steve, I'd hoped he was alright, I hoped he was still alive, but he was a universe away. Here I stood with a rag tag bunch of heroes. I wavered on my feet next to where Toni now stood. Peter had been on her right, fallen onto the ruined ground but now he was gone turned to dust along with so many of the others we had only just met.

We had failed.

There was not just a foul taste in my mouth but a vile burning ache down my side. I could not hold myself up anymore, even though I tried, I had tried the whole time that Peter clung to Toni begging for her to help him. Hot red blood seeped from my wound, matching my tears. Yet the crimson sanguine fluid drained so quickly from me it pooled beneath filling my boots and stained the already red earth black. Darkness edged my sight. Thanos had done this with his double-edged sword, he had nearly brained me but because of my speed and my strength I was left with this long angry wound that I was not sure I would survive. I fell to one knee, black dots swimming in my vision. Strange was gone, Peter was gone, The guardians were gone too, all that remained besides Toni, and I was the strangle blue woman with black eyes. A look in her eyes that told me she knew I was going to die.

"Evie," Toni's voice was laced with concern, tears streamed down her face, but I knew they weren't for me. They were for Peter the boy who she had taken under her wing an adopted son of sorts. To her I was nothing I wouldn't be surprised if she cheered on my death.

"She will not survive." The monotone voice of the blue woman, Nebula, you think you recalled her name to be.

Somehow, I found my voice, "I am stronger than I look." I said through gritted teeth the energy I used to speak was too much and I felt my body weaken. Then there was only darkness.

I awoke when we were crashing through Earth's orbit, my lungs felt heavy as I gasped for breath only to find that there was no air left to breathe. Toni lay not far from me, emaciated, broken, defeated she too gasping for breath though there was none to be taken.

When to doors to the craft opened and air rushed in, I found that even though I tried to stand I could not. I felt myself being lifted by a pair of strong arms, but the world felt confused, too bright with too many noises and too much chilled air. I shivered and groaned and passed out again.

When I awoke next, I was in a hospital bed. It hurt so much to breathe that I didn't dare try to move. My eyes fell to a bowed head on the hospital bed next to mine. Messy blond hair, with pale fingers threaded through it, my heart clenched.

"Steve." I reached out for him.

He was alive.

Blinding pain coursed through me all at once speaking my breath.

I passed out once again.

Hours or days passed on, fingers digging into my wound, healing, stretching, pushing. Words filled my ears.

"She should be dead. "

"I don't know when she will fully wake."

"I'm sorry Steve but her body has been damaged in some places beyond our capabilities to repair."

"She will not be able to have children."

Days. Weeks passed by before I could open my eyes and when I finally opened them without the pull of sleep weighing me down. I was broken.

Everything rushed back.

We had failed.

We had lost.

I had lost.

I was broken.

Completely.

Inevitably.

*~*~*

My eyes flew open my heart pounded in my chest. It took a moment for me to realize that I was in James' bed.

Alone.

I blinked a few times.

Memories of the night before rushing through me.

I stilled.

I could hear the sound of sleeping breath and that is when I spotted him on the floor beside the bed.

My broken heart.

James.

Tentatively I moved towards him, holding the sheet to my bare chest. I knew to be careful to wake him, I'd done this same thing so many times before. I knelt before him and put a hand over top of his metal arm holding down it as I traced the side of his face with the other.

"James," I whispered, "James, wake up." I should have wanted to let him sleep but I needed him, I needed him to hold me and tell me everything would be ok even if it wasn't. "James, wake up."

In a violent start he jerked up, I held down his arm with as much strength as I could muster, which kept him from knocking me across the room, but not enough to keep me kneeling beside him. I fell against him, his eyes wild as he tried to grasp onto reality.

"James," I made my tone soft and soothing as his chest rose and fell rapidly, "It's me," I soothed, "shh, its ok."

His eyes zeroed in on mine and they slowly came into focus, "Evelyn," his arms wrapped around me pulling me to his chest.

"Come back to bed and hold me for a while," I tried to keep my tone even, knowing how hard sleep was for him, how his nightmares plagued him every time he closed his eyes. That he lived for the moments that he could forget them. The moments that he had me in his arms.

Slowly he moved and I moved with him, pulling him into my embrace as we sunk into the soft mattress. "Was it a bad night?" I asked brushing his hair out of his eyes.

He didn't answer he only clenched his teeth and pulled me closer.

"Me too." I admitted.

"Sometimes," he started, his tone hoarse, "Sometimes, I can't tell what is a dream, and what is reality. Sometimes I wonder if I deserved to be taken by Hydra and other times, I wish I was still on ice, you know," his eyes met mine and there was sadness deep in his soul, "because there are so many that are dead because of me and I'm here trying to live a normal life."

I nodded. I especially knew this because here I was in a world where I never existed but living a life that I too felt like I didn't deserve. "I understand James, I know just as well as you what it's like to feel like an imposter in your own skin."

He laid back on his shoulders and I nestled into him, "Like, last night. You know, I haven't ever felt that connected to anyone before, Evie, I hope you understand that."

"I do," I kept my tone soft as I slid his hand onto his chest letting my fingers caress the skin there.

His eyes followed my movements, his eyes on my fingers as they moved over him "What's the matter, you seem..." he put his hand over mine, "tell me."

I closed my eyes for a moment because of course he knew there was something wrong, "I had a nightmare too."

"Tell me," his tone was urgent, as though my nightmare might offer him reprieve of his own.

"I- I" I stared my voice shaky, "I dreamt of the day we failed, and it all went to hell."

"The day you got this?" His fingers traced over the scar that lined the side of my body, a constant reminder of our failures.

"Yes," I breathed, "courtesy of Thanos."

He took a deep breath, "If it's too hard to talk about I understand."

I shook my head, "No, It's not that," I leaned up onto my elbow looking down at him, "It's just a reminder that's all, a reminder that we failed, and I lost more than just to Thanos that day, I lost everything, I lost you, I lost my future, every single relationship I had with everyone changed that day."

He looked up at the ceiling as he mindlessly traced the scar, sending goosebumps over my skin, "Like I said Evie, you don't have to talk about it."

"I know," I said looking down upon him, I could see that his desire to know was strong still I appreciated that he didn't push me.

"I don't know how I survived. I should be dead many times over in that short time. I went with Toni and Strange and Spider-Man to face Thanos. I stood with them and the Guardians, and we failed, and I watched as all of them were snapped out of existence, and when I came home you were gone, so many people were gone." His hand paused and it fell over my hip squeezing me gently, "Nothing was the same, none of us could look at each other and Thanos had won."

I couldn't speak about the loss, he needn't know but to Steve, to my husband it had been a great loss, and we had mourned together in a way I'd not mourned anything else before. But now, now I was glad because now was not the time, nor would I ever have the capacity for it.

"But you're here now, you're not alone, you won't be again I promise." He spoke his voice, soft and soothing, still coarse from sleep or perhaps emotion.

"Thanos took something from me that day when he gave me this scar," I traced my own fingers down the scar letting it fall to my abdomen, that action saying far more than any words ever could, "Something that I can never get back, that no matter what the serum did to make sure I could heal quickly..." I blinked back the unbidden tears from my eyes. "It ruined Steve, it broke me but with what everyone else lost... it seemed so insignificant."

James stayed silent, his hand fell over top of mine, "You don't have to say any more." He understood and relief washed through me that I didn't have to say it out loud. He pulled me into him my body flush against his. He pulled the covers over us, my skin which I'd not realized felt like ice warmed against his.

Steve POV

I wanted to go in there, I wanted tear them apart. That deeper baser part of me to get up from where I sat at the kitchen table with a cold cup of coffee and go in there and take her. However, I stopped myself because I swore to her that I would. Evelyn was not mine, not all of her I hoped fervently. I just hoped that she left a small part of herself for me. I had laid in my bed the night before listening to them, the walls of this place not giving much room for privacy. I was happy for them, because they both deserved to find happiness, yet it still didn't stop my heart from hammering in my chest all night long.

I'd not slept.

My muscles ached in a way that they had not since the final battle against Thanos, but still if felt different, I felt like my insides had been ripped out tossed in a blender and thrown back inside of me. I was a jumble of emotions and sensations and though for so many years I'd given up everything for everyone else and swore I wouldn't do it again, this woman made me want to keep doing it. If for only so I never had to see that broken look on her face like I did yesterday when I sat across from her at Tony's table.

I heard the door to Bucky's room open and I stood up from the table, butterflies tumbled low in my guts.

"Good morning, Steve," Evelyn walked into the room, her hair still messy from sleep, a flush high on her cheek bones wearing only one of Bucky's t-shirts. It did little to hide her form barely brushing the tops of her thighs, I could see the nipples taught beneath the thin material of the garment.

I swallowed thickly, but it did nothing to hide the hoarseness of my voice, "Good morning," I wanted to ask how she slept but I didn't want it to seem like I was prying.

"Did you sleep ok?" she asked as she moved towards the coffee pot.

I stayed silent, frozen as my whole body turned to watch her.

She cocked her head to the side furrowing her dark brows, "You look tired."

"Didn't sleep much," I said clearing my throat I turned away from her and sat back down.

"Oh," her soft reply made my cock twitch, I couldn't get the sight of her out of my mind even though I'd turned away. Jealousy burrowed through me. Jealous that I was not the one to make those noises come out of her mouth, to cry out in sweet release. "Steve?" she called out.

I steeled myself and turned my head towards her, and I almost wished I didn't. "Yeah?"

"I asked if you wanted a fresh coffee."

I blinked.

She moved closer to me, and I begged silently that she stay away, even if more than anything I wanted her to be close. She reached in front of me, the smell of her hair wafting over me, she smelled like Bucky. I closed my eyes.

"Are you ok?" she asked frozen with her arm still reaching for the mug. Slowly she moved that hand towards me, her warm palm falling onto the side of my face. My heart was racing. Her touch alone made me feel like a boy again, my cock come alive beneath my jeans. I gently pushed her hand from me, and I looked away missing the hurt in her eyes.

"I'm fine," I tried to keep my tone even, "Just tired."

Evelyn POV

I could tell Steve was upset, and I was hurt that he seemed so cold towards me. I sighed and picked up his mug and moved back towards the coffee machine, the fresh pot already brewing. The scent of the heavy brew filling the air. I stood before the counter watching the brown liquid drip into the pot, the gurgling sound of the water filling my ears so that I didn't hear him come up behind me. It wasn't until he wrapped his arms around my middle and pulled me to his chest that I knew he was there. He held me tightly and I could feel his heart beating wildly in his chest.

"I'm happy you have each other." He said his voice so close to my ear that it sent a delicious thrill down my body, and I cursed myself for my body's reaction to him.

"Steve," I whispered not trusting myself to say anything else.

"Don't say anything," he buried his nose into the crook of my neck, "I don't think I could bear it."

I blinked looking sightless to the wall behind the coffee pot.

"I swear to you I will keep my promise to you, I won't let anything happen to you and I won't let myself come between you and Bucky," his lips brushed the sensitive skin of my neck and I let my eyes flutter closed, "No matter how much it hurts."

I took a sharp breath. This was the first time he had ever put into words that he might feel something more than lust, something more that carnal possessive desire.

"I won't betray his trust, or your trust." His hands felt like flames on my skin, suddenly there didn't feel like there was a barrier between the skin of my stomach and his hands. That animalistic desire that I felt around him flared to life. "I will respect your choice but know this..."

I held my breath the fresh scent of him filling my senses.

"I can't look at you without wanting you."

Then he moved away from me, and I was left cold now that I wasn't surrounded by his heat. I turned to ask him to wait, to stay so I could say my piece, whatever that may be. Because my mind could barely string together two coherent thoughts. But he was gone.

Bucky POV

I watched silently from the doorway as Steve got up from his seat and moved towards Evelyn. I fought with myself to keep my feet planted. I had watched her interaction with him, I saw how he was cold and aloof, but I knew it was not anger with her, he was fighting with himself. He reminded me of the boy I knew growing up, doubting himself, unsure of how he felt, or if it would ever be reciprocated. But I also saw resolution in his eyes as he turned towards her.

I watched as he enveloped her in his arms and again, I fought to stay where I was but like Steve, I had promised her that I wouldn't hurt her, and hurting him would hurt her too.

"I'm happy you have each other." I heard him say and surprise spread through me as I heard the sincerity in his words, he was happy, but I knew there was something more there too. Sadness, regret, and jealousy.

I turned away, thinking I should give them this, whatever this was because after all, he was stepping aside for me. He was putting her and I ahead of himself. Guilt washed over me then too. I opened the door to the stairwell and headed up to the roof, my mind swirling with its own jealousy and fear about what I might be leaving them to. Part of me knew they wouldn't hurt me, but another louder part of me shouted that I knew I was hurting Steve by being with her. How should I expect him to react?

There were still dark clouds in the sky, ready to let more rain pour down upon us and I welcomed it. Perfectly fitting for my melancholy mind. I stood at the edge of the roof my fingers falling to the cold flashing that surrounded the concrete. I couldn't help but let my mind wander to the pair below my feet, imagining him lifting her onto the countertop and pushing my worn grey t-shirt up over her hips. I imagined the way she would part those perfect lips as he slid into her. Then the way she would call out his name as he made her cum. How her fingers would dig into the flesh of his shoulders as he undid her completely.

The sound of metal crunching beneath my fingers pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked down to see the flashing beneath my metal arm crushed beyond repair. I took a deep breath and stood back closing my eyes trying to take deep calming breaths.

The door opened behind me, closing with a resolute click. I turned expecting to find her, but I was met with the troubled blue eyes of Steve Rogers.

"Buck," his voice was coarse, "I'm sorry."

My heart skipped a beat, were my thoughts really not unfounded then?

"I won't stand in your way."

Silence followed as I tried to find my words.

He took a step towards me, "But I won't stand aside either."

Thunder rumbled in the distance as though it were an omen of things to come.

"I never expected you to pal." I forced a smile onto my lips and pulled him into an embrace.

Evelyn POV

James had gone to see his therapist and I was in my room, sifting through debris to find something to wear that wasn't covered in shattered glass or wood splinters when Steve came to lean against the broken doorframe.

"Hey," he said his tone normal as if he hadn't bore his heart to me earlier that morning, "We should go get that phone for you."

I bit my lip as I straightened. I had a black t-shirt white with drywall dust in my hand. "Maybe I should have James take me."

To his credit he didn't even blink, "Bucky barely knows what end of the phone to talk into."

I couldn't help the chuckle that fell from my lips, "Your probably right." Recalling how he had attempted to order pizza days ago. My expression sobered as those memories of his rage with me shortly after had caused me to flee.

Steve stepped into my room at the change in my expression, he looked like he wanted to come closer, but he balled his fist and his side instead and spoke, "You, ok?"

I nodded, "Yeah," I replied, "just let me find something in this mess to wear."

He looked around the room a flush now on his cheeks, "Sorry about all this," he said, "things got a little out of hand, let me make a couple calls while you get ready, and we can get this all cleaned up in no time, ok?"

I smiled at him and pulled another shirt from the bottom of a drawer that lay across the room, the clothes at the bottom seeming in fairly clean condition.

"I'll meet you downstairs," he said his own phone still in his hand.

*~*~*

The store that had the phone Sam had commissioned for me was jammed with people and I started to feel a little claustrophobic. It was noisy and brightly lit, electronics proudly on display for all of the waiting customers. The gentleman behind the counter smiled fondly in Steve's direction only giving me a few small curious glances.

"This one is the top of the line, you shouldn't run into any trouble, but if you do be sure to come back and see me," the man, Todd, his nametag said, passing the phone to Steve, "And thank you for everything you've done for us Captain."

Steve nodded stiffly, clearly uncomfortable but he had taken charge upon entering the store. He took the paper certificate from my hands when he noticed how they trembled. I couldn't explain my trepidation, perhaps it was so many years of living in a world void of people, or perhaps it was the crowds of adoring fans that crowded around taking photos. Or the whispered voices, questioning who I was and what I was to their beloved Captain America.

"Who is she?"

"I've never seen her before."

"God, she is so lucky."

"He is so hot, how is he even real?"

Steve pressed the phone into my hand. I thanked him and made to turn towards the exit only to find it blocked my dozens of adoring fans eagerly waiting to get a piece of Captain America. A frown registered on his face when he too saw the deluge of fans. He took my wrist in his large hand and began to pull me through the crowds.

"Excuse me," he said as he made his way through the throngs of people, "We need to get through."

I swore under my breath as I was lurched off my feet by a press of the crowed to get closer to him. If not for Steve's grip I would have been lost under stampeding feet. He pulled me close to his chest then, his arms surrounding me as he extending one arm to push through the sea of people.

When we exited into the mall, he began to pick up his pace, the crowds thinning only slightly as he rushed to the exit, "When we get outside, I want you to run to the car ok?" he whispered into my ear. "Fast, do you understand what I mean by that?" he questioned.

I nodded knowing he meant at a speed no regular human could keep up with.

When we burst through the doors, there were news vehicles parked outside reporters shouting questions at us.

"Captain America who is your friend?"

"Is this your girlfriend?"

"Is she an enhanced human as well?"

"Does this have anything to do with the portal that Demons reportedly entered into our world?"

"Is she a demon too?"

"Captain, can you comment on the families being forced into relocation camps?"

"Why has Captain America been so silent when so many are still crying for help?"

Steve pushed through the crowds and as soon as we could we ran, surprising those still attempting to answer questions.

"We see a ring on her finger, is she your wife? When did you get married?"

Jesus.

Steve's SUV quickly came into view, and we were off before I had the door fully closed.

"You, ok?" he asked a line between his brows as he took stock of me.

My hair had been pulled from the ponytail by insistent hands and the collar of my t-shirt was ripped.

"Yeah," I said breathlessly, "Is it always like that for you?"

He shook his head, "No, that was a first, usually they are far more respectful."

Steve's phone began to ring through the speakers on the car.

"Bruce," Steve called as a greeting obviously recognizing the number on the cars display screen.

"What the hell are you guys doing?" Bruce's voice sounded frantic. "My phone has been blowing up with notifications. 'Steve Rogers and mysterious woman spotted in local mall; many speculate woman may be his wife.' That's a hell of a headline, the internet is going wild."

I groaned.

"Evelyn?" Bruce said incredulously.

"Hey, Bruce," I called back my heart still pounding.

"We were swarmed," Steve sighed, "We had to get out of there pretty fast."

"I wouldn't doubt it," Bruce sounded amused, "I'm glad you two are getting along."

I laughed.

Steve grinned and looked at me before he looked back to the road speeding away, "Thanks for checking in Bruce."

"There was another reason I called," he said, "the media storm sort of gave me another reason."

"What's that?" Steve asked his face now serious.

"I was hoping if it was alright with Evelyn, that I took a blood sample."

Silence.

"What do you need that for," Steve voice was prickly.

I could hear Bruce shifting on the other end of the phone, clinking glass in the background, "I was hoping that maybe I could study her blood, compare it to our world. All this time travel, now inter dimensional travel has piqued my interest."

"She's not a damned science experiment Bruce." Steve was angry but it felt unfounded.

"It's ok Steve," I interrupted, "I don't mind, it might actually be helpful, Mordo did say I had something inside of me."

"Wait Mordo?" Bruce said on the other side, "Like Strange's mortal enemy, Mordo?"

Steve grit his teeth.

"Yes," I responded, "and whatever it is inside of me, he wants it."

"Great!" Bruce sounded thrilled.

Steve's grip on the wheel tightened, "It is not great, do you know what kind of hell he has brought us."

I could instantly hear the regret in Bruce's tone, "You know that's not what I meant," he let loose a heavy sigh, "I will meet you at the apartment later on ok?"

"Sounds good Bruce," I reached over and smacked Steve on the arm, "I'm looking forward to it."

I pressed the disconnect button and turned to Steve, trying to decipher the strange expression on his face, "You know this is exactly what we need Steve, If Bruce can find whatever it is inside of me, we might be one step ahead of Mordo for the first time."

Steve's knuckles were white against the steering wheel, so I moved my hand up his arm to fall over his grip. His eyes flashed to mind, and I couldn't help but see the worry. "What if something happens?"

"Like what?" I said with a kind smile, kind of touched that he was so angry because he was worried, "He's taking blood not a kidney."

He loosened his grip as he sighed, his posture relaxing as well, "You're right Evelyn," his eyes flashed to mine again before going back to the road, "I'm sorry."

I smiled at him and took my knew phone out of my pocket, "You wanna be my first?" I said not even realizing how it sounded.

"What?" He balked.

I laughed nervously, "My first number, I mean," I said quickly.

He laughed running his fingers nervously through his hair. "Right, of course."

When we pulled up to the apartment, there were news vans parked outside and I groaned to see that they were blocking of the entrance to the underground parking. I readied myself that for now I knew that we would have to walk through the crowds until this got under control.

"This is crazy." I said looking at them through the tinted windows of Steve's SUV.

He nodded a line between his brows, "The media has always left me alone, this is more like the coverage that Tony used to receive."

I narrowed my eyes looking away from him and out of the window, "Well, what do you want to do now?" I asked.

"Well," he sighed, "let's just try to get inside, they can't come onto private property. Just stay close ok," he pulled as close as he could to the front doors without hitting anyone and then spoke to me again, "Come over here and come out my door," he extended his hand as he used the control to push his seat back to make more room for me. He pulled me over the console and sat me between his knees, his voice in my ear, "On three," goosebumps spread all over my body, "One," he breathed, "two," my hands clutched the steering wheel in front of me, "three," he said, and he opened the door, one arm firm around my waist as he pulled me out of the car with him. His body came around mine like a shield, like it had so many times before, I looked up to that strong jaw line above me the concentration clear on his face as he tried to push us through the throng of reporters. All of whom were shouting so many questions in our direction that their words were indecipherable.

I whimpered as the crowed pushed in, there was only a few more short feet to the door but if felt so far, it was taking so long, and my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.

"I've got you Evie," he whispered in my ear his arms squeezed tightly around me, "we're almost there."

"Ok," I whispered squeezing my eyes closed leaving the rest up to him.

"I've got you," he repeated.

When I opened my eyes again, I found that we were pushing through the doors, when we burst into the lobby the security was waiting for us ushering us towards the elevator stationing themselves at the doors so we wouldn't be followed.

"You, ok? He asked again just like when we were at the mall.

"Yeah," I replied, "You, ok?"

He nodded. "That was-"

"Insane." I offered,

He nodded and we moved into the elevator. Pulling his phone out of his pocket he dialled a number and put it to his ear, "Hey its me," I could only hear silence on the other end of the line. "Don't come home," I don't know what's going on but it's a circus."

The voice on the other end of the line sounded angry and my stomach sank.

"Whatever you say, Capitan." It was James.