A/N So this is a pretty short chapter, but I wanted to get this out there so as not to leave you hanging like I did last chapter. Don't come at me, I know Steve is being an ass... bare with me 😅😏

**Tw** referencing sexual situations. Swearing, dear lord lots of swearing.

Steve POV

I worried about Evelyn and no matter what I seemed to do I couldn't help but feel helpless about the entire situation. Maybe Bucky was right. Maybe I was trying to manage everything, but how could I have it any other way?

People could have been hurt.

Evelyn was hurt.

I cursed myself. It was the middle of the night, and I was unable to sleep and had spent the last hour cleaning the already clean kitchen. All of it an attempt to keep my mind busy, the three-hour run I'd taken earlier had done nothing to ease my mind either. Nor did calling every number I had stored on my phone that might be able to help me.

Those that answered anyway.

Pepper was mourning.

Like Evelyn.

Wanda was too.

Bruce, was burying himself in work, so was Scott so was Sam.

Thor and Captain Marvel were off planet, Fury wasn't returning my calls and Strange was being evasive. I knew he had more of an idea about what was going on than he was leading on to.

So, it was just me and Bucky.

And Evelyn.

I clenched my fists, Bucky was smitten, I'd never seen him like this. The look he had given me when he saw that Evelyn was hurt. It was just like what I was feeling on the inside and for the first time in longer than I could remember he was allowing himself to feel something for someone. She understood what happened while he was the Winter Soldier, and I was glad that he finally had found a person that he could talk to about it that didn't judge him for what he did while he was under Hydra's thumb.

But where did that leave me?

I had made a vow that I would not break, but I also couldn't place the feelings that I had barrel through me when I had watched her fall through the illusion of the Leviathan. My stomach had dropped to my toes and buried itself somewhere beneath the ground. She fought like no one else I had ever seen, even Nat. She fought like she had never known anything else, and maybe that was the case. She had definitely been an asset to her team.

She could be one to you too...

I was starting to hate the voice in the back of my mind that did not want to listen to practical thoughts.

I moved from the kitchen to the common area and sat on one of the soft chairs, to try and clear my thoughts. I feared I was becoming a man that I never wanted to become. A man that could not be counted on because his emotions got in the way.

That is who I am. That is who I have always been.

Who was I trying to kid?

Myself.

Part of me wanted, no needed to hate her, another part of me... The part of me that seemed to be talking some sense right now...

I would never let that part of me have a voice.

Though I tried to still my thoughts, all that I could think about was her body lying on that bed on Bleeker Street, blood everywhere, screaming in pain. I couldn't help but remembering how helpless I felt, how in that moment it didn't matter that I was Captain America, or that I was Steve Rogers. There was nothing I could do to help her, and I had absolutely hated it.

I understood why Bucky looked at me the way that he did.

I had failed to protect her like I promised.

I stood abruptly from the chair.

I had to check on her.

And for what felt like the hundredth time in the last forty-eight hours I did.  Strange said she would most likely sleep until her body was ready to wake and not to try and wake her, but I couldn't tell you how many times I wanted to do just that. I wanted to see those bright green eyes open. Not just open but challenging me, calling me Rogers instead of Steve. I did not care if she bit that fucking perfect lip right off, I just wanted to see her take it between her teeth, I needed to know she was ok.

Fuck!

That voice in the back of my head was running rampant again. I would just peak in on her to make sure she was ok, I knew Bucky was in there, he hadn't left her side, but I needed to know, to see it with my own eyes.

I marched down the hall and I could hear noise, she was whimpering, was she in pain again?

Before I could even think I opened the door eager to make sure she was ok.

I froze.

She was on the bed, naked.

God, she is beautiful.

Wait.

That shouldn't be my first thought... I should be angry that Bucky is on top of her, that he is...

Then everything went red.

A rage seared into me like nothing else. I wanted to march over there and tear them apart and punch him in the face.

No, I should leave, I should close the door and let them have this. I should be happy for Bucky.

I was not happy.

I was furious.

Controlled rage fell from my lips, "I see you're feeling better."

They froze, Evelyn's eyes had gone wide, and she covered herself then Bucky put himself between us, shielding her from my eyes.

That made my rage grow more, did he think I would hurt her?

Bucky stood pulling his sweats up over his hips he said something to her, but I couldn't say what it was and when he moved towards me, I could see that she was pulling his navy-coloured t-shirt over her head covering those perfect...

I pushed the thought roughly away my eyes now on Bucky because I couldn't keep looking at her.

My ears were ringing as I allowed Bucky to lead me from the room, he was talking to me, but I didn't know what he was saying. When we got back to the common area, he stood in front of me expectantly like he had asked me a question.

"Hey, can you even hear me?" His brows were pulled together, and his mouth was set into a frown.

"I can hear you just fine." I lied. I hadn't heard anything not for a long while.

"Bullshit," he said pushing his hair out of his eyes, "What was that about, standing in there staring her down like that?"

I scoffed and turned from him, "Sorry I interrupted."

I was not sorry. I was glad that he was away from her.

He marched towards me his eyes furious matching my own, he poked a finger into my chest, "What's your problem Steve?"

I swatted his finger away from me, "I don't have a problem."

"Yes, you fucking do, it's written all over your face." He challenged his face darkening with anger, challenging me, no, daring me to answer.

"You're deranged Buck," I let my anger free, "shame on you for taking advantage of her."

He paused for a beat as though he was shocked at what I had just said to him, "Fuck you." His voice was low, dangerous.

"I think she was already doing that." I spat back at him and that small part of me I didn't want to hear was desperately telling me to shut up.

I didn't listen.

He took a step back and pointed a finger in my direction his voice filled with blatant anger now, "I'm sick of your shit, you are so hot and cold even I don't know how to take you. I won't defend you in this Steve, you aren't acting like yourself."

I lashed out because he was right, I knocked the side table over sending the lamp crashing to the ground to shatter into a million pieces, "How do you know!" I bellowed, "No one knows me they only think they do!"

James was angry at the outburst, but I could tell that my words had struck him. "Don't fucking take it out on me or Evelyn, she doesn't deserve it neither do I."

"No one deserves anything they get right? I don't deserve to be happy, I don't deserve to live a happy life, neither did you and neither did she! She had that all taken away from her so why should she get a fresh start?"

"Are you really saying that we don't deserve to be happy?" He asked an incredulous expression free on his face mixed with a telltale darkening anger.

I could hear her footsteps padding down the hallway and I pressed my lips into a thin line.

Evelyn POV

I could hear them fighting from the other room. When Steve came in to check on me, he had not expected to find James and I in bed together, at least not in the way that he did. James asked me to stay put in the room while he and Steve spoke in the other room. All the while Steve just stood there with a hard look on his face, not trained on me anymore thankfully but on James. It was as though the blame solely lay on his friend when that was far from the truth. What was about to happen I very much wanted to happen.

I still did.

In fact, I ached for it. Though I had been doused with the reality of what we had been about to do I did not feel ashamed. Why should I? From the sounds of raised voices from the other room it seems like that is what Steve thought we should be feeling especially James.

Though I longed for a shower I thought it might be best to go out there and put myself in the middle. As far as I was concerned Steve had no place nor justification for his anger.

I already wore James' t-shirt I pulled on a pair of loose sweats that I had to tie tightly to keep them around my hips. I began to move to the door when I heard a large crash and I sprinted from the room. When I made it to the common area, I found that one of the tables that previously held a lamp had been toppled and the lamp had crashed to the ground broken.

Steve and James stood on either side of the table both of them breathing hard, both of them angry neither of them speaking.

"What happened?" I asked looking to James.

His face softened as his eyes moved to me, "nothing, Steve just thinks he has a say in everything everybody does all the time."

"Shut up Bucky." Steve shouted.

I was surprised with the way he was talking to his friend.

James put his arm around me, "you need to grow up you know that Evelyn is more than capable of making her own decision and so am I"

"I happen to think you both need to be thinking with the brain in your heads not between your legs?"

"That same brain that was going to take you back in the past?" James shot back.

I sighed.

He was furious, "That's uncalled for." Steve raised his voice pointing a finger at James and when it looked like they might lunge for one another I stepped between them James' arm falling from me as I stepped away. "You always seem to bring that up but look where I still am pal. I'm right here!!"

"Stop fighting," I interrupted. "We are all adults, and we don't throw furniture like children." I moved to the fallen table and righting it.

"Steve go get a broom. James, go have a shower while Steve and I have a conversation." James looked like he was going to argue but conceded. Not before turning to me and kissing me square on the mouth and turning to glare at Steve after he had done so.

I sighed again.

I turned my gaze to Steve whose angry eyes were following James down the hallway and out of sight before those bright blue eyes turned to me a flush high on his cheeks. Anger was exuding off of him in dark waves.

"I'm sorry," I started, startling him that I apologized, "I'm sorry you walked in on that."

He turned away from me and walked to a closet and took out a broom and dustpan, he walked around me to where the lamp was shattered in pieces on the ground. He didn't say a word he just set to work cleaning the mess he had made. I moved towards him and knelt to pick up the larger pieces of the lamp.

His shoulders tensed, "Don't." He said his voice tight.

I looked up to find he was looking down at me a pained expression on his face like he was brimming with regret. I looked back down to the pieces of grey ceramic on the ground and continued at my task.

"I said don't." He said his voice still hard, and he reached down grasping me by my upper arm pulling me to my feet roughly.

His touch was like fire on my skin, "Let me help you," I said not sure why there was this burning sensation low in my gut, not regret because I didn't regret what happened with James but regret that Steve seemed hurt. It had successfully replaced the lust that had been there not long before.

"I don't need your help." He said and it felt like there was more meaning behind the words, like he wasn't just talking about the lamp.

I bit my lip, "I know you don't need it," I pulled my arm from his grasp one of the pieces of the lamp falling to the ground breaking into smaller pieces the sound of it resolving my feelings and suddenly I felt my own anger rising. "But too bad for you."

"Why are you so difficult?" He growled as he began sweeping everything up into a neat pile.

I watched him for a moment unsure what to say to him, "I'm not trying to be, I'm just trying to figure all this shit out."

He knelt down and swept up the broken lamp pieces into the dustpan and moved to the trash can in the kitchen. My eyes followed him the entire time. I picked up the lamp shade and the fixture and followed him. His shoulders were tight, and I knew there was so much that he wanted to say but he was stopping himself.

I took a deep breath trying to make my voice soft, "Listen, Steve."

He dumped dustpan and spun to me the lid slamming on the trash can, "Don't, just don't ok."

My brows drew together, and I opened my mouth to speak.

He spoke before I could, "I mourned for Peggy for years. Years! I still mourn her and here you are not days past your husband's death in bed with someone else!" He started out quiet, but his voice rose as he finished until he was yelling again. "What does that say about your loyalty? What does that say about you?"

I clenched my fist around the top of the lamp, and I yelled right back, "You have no right to judge me!"

"Well, I am!" His eyes were blazing.

"Fuck you!"

"No, you were fucking Bucky!"

I threw the lamp at him, and he batted it away like a feather, so I stepped towards him and raised my hand to slap him across the face, but he anticipated the blow and captured my wrist in his hand. We stayed like that for a moment rage building from deep within me along with the guilt he had forced on me. I raised my other hand to strike him, but he stopped that too. I tried to pull away I wanted to hit him, I wanted to punch him but then he was pulling me towards him my body collided with his and the next thing I knew he was smashing him mouth against mine.

For a moment I just froze, surprised and then as though it was muscle memory, I was kissing him back wrapping my arms around his neck running my fingers through his hair at the back of his neck. My body conforming to his it was like two pieces of a puzzle we came together so perfectly, his arms wrapped around my waist pressing me tightly against him. I could feel every part of him, and he was like the flame, and I was the moth. Immediately I opened to him his tongue now in my mouth and he was kissing me like my Steve had never even kissed me before. It was brand new and so familiar all at once. His hand slid under the hem of my shirt his fingers splayed upon my bare back, pressing into me like I was pressed into him. His opposite hand slid down my body his large hand grasping at my ass cheeks pulling my hips closer to his while the other hand continued to caress my skin beneath my T-shirt. He explored the skin of my torso his mouth never leaving mine he caressed the skin of my back around to my ribs slowly moving his hand up his thumb then traced over my nipple. A moan slipped out of my mouth and into his and he returned it spurred on by my reaction to his touch.  The sound of his deep tone reverberated through me and straight to my core. Just like it had been with James not half an hour before.

At the thought of James, it was like my brain came back into focus.

What the hell am I doing?

I pulled back and slapped him so hard on the face that his head snapped to the side, he dropped his hold on me immediately. His eyes were still furious but now also darkened with desire.

So were mine.

"Fuck you, Rogers." I hissed at him, and I wiped my mouth with the back of my hand and turned to leave my heart pounding harder than ever.