"The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That's what I hope to give you forever." - The Notebook

XIX.

I am now home-schooled.

My parents didn't want me to attend a normal school here in Osaka. They are worried about me, I assume. I mean, I do have problems regarding my identity.

So let's start with minor details, shall we?

But what do I mean by minor details?

I removed my glasses and stared at myself on the mirror, examining myself. I have hazel eyes, red hair as the color of fresh ripe strawberries. I eyed myself and adjusted my bangs and my eyes stopped to a scar on my forehead, it's there but not too conspicuous. "Who am I?" I mumbled to myself then huffed a breath.

This is harder than I thought; reminiscing. Because there was nothing to reminisce to begin with.

I went to the music room and the sight of musical instruments greeted me. I wandered the white room, my fingers touched a gray case. A violin case and I opened it. The violin has a dull brown color and there was a wrinkled paper on the case.

"Happy 7th birthday, Rika! Always play from the bottom of your heart. We love you! - Love, grandma and grandpa"

I smiled faintly, remembering my grandfather. I brought the letter to my chest and closed my eyes, praying that grandpa could see me now. "Help me..."

I exhaled, positioned the violin under my chin and the bow on the strings then played a melody I seem to know by heart with my eyes closed.

It feels as if I was a newborn child.

Everything was clean, wiped clean.

Nothing was left.

What should I feel?

Happiness because of the fact that I was still alive?

Or...

Sadness because of the fact that I can't remember anything?

But instead, I felt nothing. I couldn't feel anything. I have also forgotten how to feel. These memories, the memories that have been buried at the deepest core of my mind, I have also tried to wonder what it was like.

Was it wonderful?

Seijuro.

Was it painful?

I'm curious as to what this name plays a role in my life.

Red.

Red? What's the matter with red? Is it my favorite color?

Oh, I see. It's my hair color.

It was autumn, dry leaves were now dancing with the wind.

I'm numb.

I can't feel anything. Both physical and mental. And I hated it. I hate the fact that I can't feel anything.

The door opened that made me stop my focus on the music and I shifted my gaze towards the source of the noise.

He was wearing his school uniform as he was holding a bouquet of red roses and was grinning ear to ear when he saw me looking at him. I smiled back, reluctantly.

Red.

"Yuri," He greeted me cheerfully as he was making my way to me.

I lied the violin on the table as I watch him walk gracefully to where I was standing. "Yuta-kun," I muttered. He gave me a hug as a greeting, taking me by slight surprise.

I... I should have expected this. He is my fiance after all.

So I hugged him back.

"These are for you," He informed me as his hands extended to give me the bouquet of red roses. I stared at the roses before my hands slowly reach out to take it from his hands.

"Thank you, Yuta-kun," I muttered with a small smile and took a small sniff of the roses. "They are wonderful."

"I'm glad you love them," He beamed as he glanced at the violin on the table. "You play so beautifully... as always." He muttered, his cheeks heating up and I chuckled at how cute he looked.

"Thank you," I smiled at him and he smiled back. "So, what brings you here?"

"I just wanted to know how you're doing," He replied with a virile smile.

He was like... trying to seduce me.

"I'm doing fine, thank you," I informed him.

"That's great! I hope for your fast recovery so we could go out like we always do."

"I hope so, too..." I replied, almost hesitantly.

His smile was not familiar.

His scent was not familiar.

Everything about him was not familiar. At all.

I feel a little disappointed. It's as if my heart was searching for someone... but who? Is it Seijuro?

Yuta-kun reached out for my free hand and kissed the back of it, making my cheeks heat up in embarrassment. "I know you've been experiencing difficulties regarding your identity. But don't worry, Yuri. I can be your best friend, your brother, your lover... I can be any guy you want me to be, I'm always here for you." And with that said, he inched his face closer and my eyes widened in panic.

He was going to kiss me... I... I can't...

I pushed the roses across my face, blocking him access. "I'm-I'm sorry, Yuta-kun, but... but--"

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be in a rush, Yuri," He sighed.

His expression morphed into something I couldn't decipher. He was sad for some reason as he looked away. I instantly felt guilty.

"I'm sorry-"

"No, don't apologize. It's just that..." He cut me off and I assume that he was contemplating whether to continue his sentence or not. Then he gave me a wry smile, not identical to his usual smiles. It feels forced. He shook his head. "Never mind. I just remembered something, Yuri. I'm sure there will come a time when you'll get to remember me, piece by piece..." He muttered and looked away. He mumbled something under his breath but I didn't catch it and I mentally raised an eyebrow.

I suddenly sensed something different. Sure, I didn't know anything but this got me curious. I feel like I didn't know something... something big. I was missing out something that will probably haunt me in the near future.

I was playing a game of oblivion. And I was "it".

They couldn't possibly be lying or hiding something from me, can they?

Seijuro.

"Anyway, your father also asked me to call you out because dinner is being served." He informed me, changing the subject. His voice also changed back to its usual tone.

I blinked. "Oh, I see..." I muttered then put the roses beside the violin. "Let's go." I beckoned with a smile.

He reached his hand out and I stared at it, he was smiling at me as if he was trying to urge me to take it. I bit my lip and reluctantly took his hand then he intertwined our fingers as we proceeded to go to the dining area.

"Yuta-kun, Yurika," Father greeted us with a light smile and I smiled back.

"Hello, Dad," I greeted back as Yuta-kun pulled out a chair for me. I mumbled a thank you before taking my seat and Yuta-kun sat beside me. "Where's mom?"

"She won't be joining us because she insisted that she's not hungry." Dad informed me nonchalantly.

Dad and Yuta-kun talked the entire time, about business, company partnership, about our engagement. They had tried to make me join in their conversation but I only offer them short replies and meek nods. None of those piqued my interest. I ate our dinner in silence, my thoughts were drifting off to somewhere else.

Seijuro.

I didn't want to ask them if they knew or heard of the name.

I don't quite trust them. And I felt bad considering that they were my family.

"Right, Yuri?"

My thoughts were cut off by the mention of my name. I shifted my gaze towards my fiance and gave him a questioning look. "I'm sorry, what?"

"There will be a basketball tournament in Tokyo!" He explained, getting excited.

I nodded, encouraging him to continue.

"I'm interested on watching it... with you."

I blinked and tilted my head to the side. "Eh?"

"It'll be good, Yurika," Dad butted in. "It will help with your condition too. I don't want you locked up in here and get depressed."

I'm not depressed. Well, at least that's what I think.

"Um, what basketball tournament, Yuta-kun?"

"Winter Cup! It's an international basketball tournament, Yuri!"

"Uh, oh..." I chuckled awkwardly. "I don't know..." I bit my lower lip.

This is so uncomfortable... I don't know what to say anymore.

"Oh, please~ I love basketball, Yuri! It's a shame we didn't progress to the preliminaries..." He muttered with a pout. "We'll also take a walk around and stare at the wonderful scenery of Tokyo, of course." He grinned at me.

I chuckled and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "Yuta-kun..."

"So, what do you say, Yuri?"

I looked at my father and he nodded approvingly. I sighed and shifted my gaze towards the brunet beside me who was giving me puppy dog eyes. "Okay."

"Okay?" He beamed.

"We'll watch the Winter Cup." I smiled at him.

"Yay!" He hugged me and it was some sort of deplorable table manners but neither of them cared. "Thank you, Yuri! I love you so much!"

My eyes widened in shock.

I didn't expect that.

"You should know the answer by now. Don't ever doubt my feelings for you."

"Do I love you?"

"Of course you do."

"I don't know..."

"I don't need those three words to know how much you love me."

"Yu-Yuta-kun..." I mumbled and hugged him back.

I can't say it...

I can't say it back.

I couldn't.

"You're welcome."

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'You're welcome'? HAHAHAHA NICE ONE YURIKA! XD

Akashiless chapter! Boo! :< It's quite hard to write like she doesn't remember anything but *takes a deep breath* I managed!

Change cover! Which one's better? XD Yeah, you could imagine Yurika as a female version of Akashi. :>

WEEEEEW Winter Cup! You know what that means, right? RIGHT? XD

I want to ask you guys if you want the old Akashi back or just stick with the usual Emperor-sama. :D

Thank you so much for reading! Huehuehue

Feel free to vote/comment or anything! Let me know your thoughts in this story.

I love you guys :>