*Song- Zack Hemsey, The way

'When your reputation hold opinions before you had the chance to form them...'

Powdered Numb

"Are you ready for tomorrow?"

Thanatos shrugged as he flicked through Apalole's tome. It was thick and heavy; the smell reminding me of an old dusty storage room.

His hair was wet after his long shower; I ran my fingers through it. The homework professor Lorne had ordered lay limply on my lap; completely forgotten. It was hard to concentrate on anything but him- especially when he looked like this.

Bathed in firelight, an old book in his large hand and his feet resting on the small couch in front of him. He looked too good to be true.

"Thanatos..." I tried again as I ran my fingers down his bare chest, the muscle hard and defined.

He sighed softly; "I don't want to talk about it, Aurora."

I rolled my eyes and pulled my hand back and crossed my arms over my chest. He really was so pig-headed sometimes...

"Fine." I leaned back and turned slightly away from him, Lorne's homework in my hand. I felt Thanatos close the old book and turn to me, his hands pulling me in to his warm chest.

Seductively he whispered; "Don't turn your back on me..."

"Don't shut me out." My voice was dry and sarcastic. He paused his movement and I could feel the muscles in his forearms tense up. I pretended not to notice as my eyes scanned the white pages on my lap.

"Aurora..."

I turned around to give him a pointed look. He pursed his lips. "What?" He sighed in exasperation and leaned back into the couch's armrest, his bored eyes fixed on mine. I turned back to him and tucked my feet under my legs; "Are you okay?"

Thanatos looked down and ran a hand through his dark, wet hair, it curled slightly at the ends; "I'm fine, why do you ask?"

"Don't play dumb with me." I glared at him, but softened my gaze and my voice; "You're seeing your mother tomorrow after- I can't imagine how many years."

"About eighty."

My eyes popped up and I had to take a moment to process that.

"Wow. That's... long. Really long." Thanatos shrugged again; his indifference in the matter slightly annoying. "Aren't you nervous?"

He laughed; "Why on earth would I be nervous? It's not like I need to impress her."

Something about the way he said it made me think he meant the opposite. I nodded, as he avoided my eyes; "Her opinions don't matter."

I raised a brow, which only angered him; "Don't look at me like that!" Thanatos shot up and slammed the book and a nearby table. He huffed up his chest and walked towards the balcony. I sighed and followed him- his frustration leaving an odd taste in my mouth.

"Thanatos-"

"Look;" He interrupted my words with his own. His back was turned to me as he rested his palms on the railing, his eyes straight ahead, glaring at the dark blue horizon. The night air was chilly; "I think it's pretty obvious that neither Hypnos nor I feel a great attachment towards our mother, but I don't want you to think that it's something that we didn't have a say in."

I furrowed my brows.

"We decided to cut her off; not her. She's toxic, selfish, vindictive and self-indulgent."

I wanted to laugh; "I see the apple doesn't fall-"

"Don't."

I shut my mouth as he fixed me with a deadly glare. I closed my mouth. Probably not the best idea to compare them- not when he nearly despises her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean-... You're nothing like her."

He was quiet as he stared at me; his red eyes intense and brooding. He wasn't even looking at me anymore; just through me. His dark hair blew in the wind, creating a dark halo above his head. Thanatos looked almost vacant as he spoke; his voice completely unrecognisable- soft, weak and child-like; "But I am."

My eyes widened at the sudden realisation.

It wasn't that he didn't want his mother to influence him, it was his fear that she already had. He thought that he was just like her- and it terrified him.

I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his chest, forcing myself into his stiff embrace. Thanatos avoided my eyes and tried to find something on the lake to occupy his mind. I stared up at him with honest eyes.

"Darling," I squeezed him closer; "Listen to me... You're not your mother. I promise."

Thanatos' voice was but a mere whisper; "How would you know?"

"I know." I buried my head in his chest, savouring the warmth; "You're too loving. Too kind."

He didn't answer. I had the feeling he didn't believe me. After thousands of years of building up an indestructible image, an image that no one could crack or see through, Thanatos was lost in his own trickery. He was drowning in a mask of his own doing.

Don't get attached.

Don't feel.

Don't let them see you have pain, fear.... love.

Don't let her affect you.

How many times had he thought that about his mother? About me?

I made a promise to myself to never let him feel alone or uncared for. I promised myself to be the one person he could completely open up to- without limitations. I was going to keep that promise no matter what.

No matter how many times he instinctively fought back and tried to show me he didn't need it, I'd push back. Because I knew it too, from personal experience, it's hard when you need to be tough while everything around you falls to pieces.

When everyone looks to you for the answers.

When you lose yourself in that smokescreen.

When your reputation hold opinions before you had the chance to form them.

"You're not toxic, you're not selfish. You're everything she could never be."

"You only see the side of me when I'm with you."

"That's utter bullshit and you know it." I looked up at him with sincere eyes; "I've seen sides of you you've never known you even had. I've seen you at your worst, and I've been with you at your best. Don't pretend like I don't know you- I know you, Thanatos, better than you know yourself."

His eyes looked- scared. Was it frightening to have someone so close after so long? To have someone be inside his head just as much as he was inside of others? A crease formed on his forehead.

"Stop hiding. Stop shutting me out. I'm the last person in this weird, fucked up world who would ever hurt you."

A small grin formed on his lips, but it was far from happy. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth; "That's not true..."

I looked up at him in confusion as his words stung my heart, but he didn't give me any time to speak; "You're the one person who could hurt me, more than anyone."

"Thanatos..." I tried to reassure him, comfort him- anything, but he grabbed my arms and fixed me with the most intense stare; his voice desperate; "If anything happens to you-"

He stopped himself. I shook my head and tried to smile, but he wouldn't have it; "Don't. Please don't do that. Don't pretend like everything is fine; it's not."

"We're alive and we're healthy, we-"

"You're not safe, Aurora. Not here, not anywhere."

I swallowed hard and breathed out, steadying my nerves; "I can handle myself-"

"What would have happened if I hadn't saved you back in Conrad's study? When the Fury attacked you? Do you know how much I think about that day- how many times I think about what would've happened if I hadn't turned around?" His eyes were vibrant, bright and feral; "Do you?"

"No, I-"

"Well, I do." He pulled me closer to him, his hot breath on my face; "All the time."

I shook my head slightly, my eyes sympathetic; "Why?"

"I- I don't know."

"You're torturing yourself over something that you already managed to save. Why are you still trying to blame yourself for something you had no control over? Did you think that if you never left me alone the Fury wouldn't have attacked? Maybe it would've- somewhere else, where you wouldn't have turned around."

"Why are you saying this?" Anger bubbled up into his voice as he looked at me with incredulous eyes; "Don't speak like that-"

"It's the truth. Let's say you didn't leave and the Fury waited until I went to the bathroom or something. I'd be dead and-"

He shook me, his growl loud and demanding me to stop; "NO!" His grip tightened around my arms; "Don't speak about your death like it's nothing. It's everything!"

I slammed my lips against his to calm his anger, the heat between us surging. He attempted to pull back, but I leaned in further and spoke against his hot mouth; "That fear you're feeling- I feel that everyday too. And I WILL stop this killing so I can sleep soundly at night knowing I won't have to spend a single day without you." 

Thanatos breathed in shakily as I continued; "There's no point in stumbling around in the past; be here, with me- now. While we can."

He kissed me; hard.

His hands moved up to the sides of my head to squash my mouth against his and his desperation came out in a thundering wave of heat. I tugged him so close I thought we might never be able to tear ourselves apart again. The feel of Thanatos' stubble scrapping against my skin was electric.

He lifted me into the air and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Drunkenly he raced us inside; nearly falling over the small coffee table at the centre of the room as he impatiently hauled me to our bed.

I moaned as he fell forward and squashed me under his heavy build, all his frustration replaced with pure, delusional lust. In a matter of seconds we were undressed and he was pulling open my legs; his eagerness uncontrollable.

I whimpered into his mouth as he entered- the mere feel of his stiff member nearly making me explode. Thanatos gripped my chin and devoured my lips as he spoke; "You're more than I'll ever deserve!"

I shook my head and tugged at his hair as he sped up his hips, the fire inside me ready to explode; "Te amo!"

"Semper te amabo!"

We made love that night.

It was unlike any other; there were no words spoken, there was no teasing, no sound other than that of our passionate kissing. Desperation filled the air and soon enough we'd consumed each other until there was no possible way we'd ever be able to crawl back to a place where our souls were separate.

From now on, we were one.

Wholly.

Indefinitely.

The air was crisp, but the feel of the thick, black coat I wore was starting to suffocate me.

I wanted to rip it off, but Thanatos would have a fit. He sat stiffly next to me, his steely glare straight ahead and his hands clenched onto the carriage door. The servants had fitted the carriage with its roof and we were now enclosed in a small, warm bubble as we rode through the eerie, desolate snowy desert.

When Thanatos had told me that his mother was located in the farthest eastern corner of the Underworld, I wasn't all that surprised. The goddess of the night seemed to fit perfectly in the Underworld, but I was shocked when he told me that it would take about five days to reach her by carriage.

Of course, I'd protested against the long ride. I didn't have the luxury of time to skip so much class, but Thanatos quickly reassured me that we'd only need two days- one day to get there and one to get back to the palace.

Thanatos, Hypnos and I travelled through a portal to the edge of Nyx's domain; another portal carried the carriage. I wanted to ask why we couldn't just portal our way to her fortress, which was another day away, but Thanatos had read my mind and quickly answered before I even opened my mouth; "She doesn't like it when guests use magic in her province. It's better to follow the rules..."

I nodded. The twins quickly prepared the carriage and soon we were off on our way towards the horizon.

'Just a day's ride'- Thanatos had said to me early that morning. It was already dusk and I felt my feet twitch with eagerness to get out of the small bubble and stretch my dead legs.

But getting out in this weather wasn't the best idea.

It was frigid. The tundra was flat and vast; there was nothing out there to shelter us from the icy, strong winds. Even Thanatos' indestructible horses had slowed down slightly as they hauled their hooves through the thick snow. I wondered then how anyone could grow up here, amidst so much cold...

The twins didn't seem to care much for the bitter chill; they looked far too used to it.

For the tenth time that long day I wondered about just what kind of woman we were about to meet.

From the faces of her sons, I suspected a woman who was even colder than the falling snow outside. They looked nervous- it terrified me that I was the one who looked calm. Ignorance is bliss...

The carriage stopped.

Hypnos lifted his head from the book in his lap; his orange eyes immediately searching for his brother's. He looked sick; "I'll go."

I furrowed my brows, but Thanatos' hand on my knee stopped me from speaking. He kept his eyes on his brother as Hypnos opened the carriage door, coming face to face with an old man- his grey eyes sharp and shocked.

"My lords!" He looked stunned, his jaw hanging open; "I-I had no idea you were-..." He stopped himself as Thanatos' burning eyes glowered down at him. He cleared his throat; "Welcome back."

Those two simple words sent an expression across Thanatos' face I never thought I'd see in public; dread.

"Aetes," Hypnos spoke with his signature indifference; "We're here on business. Tell her we'll only stay for one night."

Aetes nodded; his grey eyes wary and fearful; "She will be most... pleased." He looked down and bowed deeply, "Go ahead; Irma will meet you at the front."

Hypnos closed the door without responding. He sat back down and Thanatos tapped the carriage door. The horses began walking again; picking up their pace as the snow lessened. I peered out the window, a long row of icy Spruces lined up along the path to the entrance of the fort. It was an eerie sight- the dark of the night mixed with the howling wind and tall, robust trees.

It was ominous at best.

I glanced at the brothers; they were quiet as they both stared out the window. What memories were they thinking about now? Did they used to play in the forest when they were young?

"Who is Aetes?" My voice was calm, but I felt nervous as I broke the pressuring silence.

Hypnos answered without looking my way; "Her personal servant."

Her.

They never said 'mother'.

So Aetes is to Nyx what Opis is to Thanatos. I nodded; it seemed the old man was very surprised to see his mistress' two sons. Eighty years away is a very long time...

Especially when you think they'd never come back again.

This weapon was more important than I realised.

The carriage stopped and I squeezed Thanatos' hand in mine; he didn't respond. Instead, he stood up from his seat and adjusted his black gloves. The carriage door swung open to reveal eight guards, all dressed in dull coal-coloured armour and coats.

Thanatos breathed in.

With the air of a powerful king, he stepped out and down the steps; all the guards bowed down, showing their respect. Hypnos placed his hand on my back and pushed slightly. I gulped.

I took Thanatos outstretched hand and let him help me down; my long, thick dress difficult to move in. Hypnos followed and I watched as the guards kept their backs bent until we reached the top of the stairs where an old woman bowed and smiled softly. Irma I presume...

"Welcome back, my lords." She smiled up at them, her pale face sweet and her eyes filling with tears. My heart ached as she wiped them away; trying to stay professional.

Did she watch them grow up into the men they were now? How sad it must've been to see them leave. Never to return; until now.

"Irma..." Thanatos said as he dropped his cold mask for a mere second and embraced the old woman; her tears spilling more freely now. Hypnos furrowed his brows and smiled sadly as he leaned in to hug her to his chest after Thanatos had let go.

Irma nodded and tapped them both on the shoulder as she tried to control her croaking voice. She laughed cheerfully; "So big and strong. My gods, what are you two eating? Wildebeest?"

I smiled at her joking charm; she reminded me of my nanny back home who'd passed away a few years ago. I missed her dearly. It seems Thanatos and Hypnos felt the same towards Irma. They smiled sadly and rubbed her arms as she wiped away more tears; trying to compose herself.

"Now, now... Who's this?"

I blushed as her kind blue eyes landed on mine. I smiled widely; "Aurora, it's a pleasure to meet you."

She smiled and bowed, but I shook my head; "Oh, that's really not necessary- I-"

"Yes..." An elegant voice dropped the icy temperature of the wintery planes down to a freezing point.

Thanatos' face dropped of all emotion; his hands clenched into fists by his sides and his red glare deepened. Hypnos looked up at the approaching figure dressed in black; his posture more rigid then I'd ever seen. They looked like they'd frozen stiff.

The woman was beautiful, intimidating and radiating power. She spoke slowly, deliberately pronouncing every word; "Bowing to mortals is beneath you, Irma."

I gritted my teeth and tried to keep the calm and confident expression on my face. She wouldn't get to me- not already.

No one spoke as she descended the last few steps until she was level with us; her bright yellow eyes intrigued and pleased at what she saw. Her cheekbones were high and sharp; she looked like she could cut me with them.

She smiled broadly; "What a good day it is; my sons have returned!" 

Her looming eyes shifted to my face; "And they've brought me a gift..."

*Te amo- I love you

*Semper te amabo- I will always love you

*Nyx's Palace- (The home of the 'old' family)

The 'old' family refers to Nyx and Erebus' descendants. Often depicted with the 'night crown' (A crescent moon) as Nyx is the goddess of the night and Erebus the god of deep darkness.

The details on the love making will be published separately tomorrow in a special 'Part two' ;3