This is just the prolouge of the game. So it's nothing special, Y/n's personality will shine the next chapter.

"Keep your expectations low so you're never disappointed."

- Dad of Boii
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The world of Teyvat. A shitty world that has a crap ton of problems that our protagonist doesn't give a fuck about. He along with his two friends and travel companions are currently standing on a platform ready to leave another world behind.

Aether 'Fem-boy hooters member'

Lumine 'FlowerLover69'

Y/n: Goodness this world fucking sucks ass.

Aether: LANGUAGE! I don't want Lumine to take after your foul mouth, Y/n.

Y/n: It's not like she doesn't know about these words, ya damn Fem-boy.

Lumine: Guys, please stop arguing. Let's just leave already.

Lumine being the most pure hearted out of the three, she didn't want her brother and friend to fight.

She was definitely pure.... Trust me... It was totally not sarcastic, and she is definitely not a chaotic one...

Besides this isn't the first time they argued about random crap. But they always end up eating together and joking around. That's how you know they are bros.

Aether: Yeah. Let's.

As the trio start walking out of nowhere as if something pierced the sky a dark red portal appears as the Shockwave sent wind at the three. They had to brace themselves

From the portal comes a mature woman with white hair and yellow eyes. And she didn't look friendly at all.

UNKNOWN GOD 'Vibe check'

???: Outlanders, you're journey ends here.

Y/n: Ahem... Your*

After she said the she flicks her arm and the portal turn into what looks like eyes.

The trio recovering from the sudden gust of wind look at the unknown god. The first to speak is Lumine.

Lumine: Who're you?!

Sustainer: The sustainer of heavenly principles. The arrogation of mankind ends now.

After she said that she holds up her hand and closes it. As she did that a red cube starts to form under the outlander as they leap way from it.

Getting off the platform the trio fold their wing and ready up their swords and charge at the hostile god.

The god simply puts her arm up as a line of red cubes launch at the outlanders trying to hit them. The outlanders dodge the red cubes and split up from each other, so there is more room to dodge and the sustainer has to focus on all three which will be rather difficult.

As Aether, Lumine and Y/n dodge their own cubes. They charge head on to take out the sustainer.

However the sustainer made three separate shields on each of her hands to not let the twins hit her and one behind her to block the h/c haired boy.

She eyes Lumine and summon cubes to get her, but Lumine takes a 'leap' back in order to dodge. Which gave the sustainer the opportunity to focus on her twin as she uses the cubes to take Aether by surprise due to how fast it was, faster than the one the sustainer 'tried' to capture Lumine. And uses her other arm to FUS RUH DAH Y/n sending him flying and doing barrel rolls.

Lumine: AETHER!

And as Aether has a look of shock on his face as the cubes spread very fast on him, he looks towards his sister, before getting consumes by the cubes.

And now what reminds of Aether is now a golden cube. The sustainer takes it as it floats in her hand. This made the other twin pissed seeing her brother dissappear like that. She charges at the sustainer and tries to hit her from behind. But the sustainer noticed and attacks Lumine with her now red arm.

Lumine expecting to have the same fate as her brother braces herself,however it never came. Why you ask? Well, Y/n showed up with rage in his eyes and his hand extended towards as he uses his power to save Lumine.

Lumine: Y-y/n?!

Y/n: You dolt! What are you waiting for?! GET HER!

Y/n is now seen struggling to keep the cubes at bay as his arm starts to shake. Lumine now has a look of DETERMINATION on her face. As she dashes behind the god with her sword in hand as now she managed to hit her. Her excitement came to an end.

The sustainer barely flinched as she used more power to get a hold of Y/n. And with Y/n already struggling it didn't take too long before it overpowered him as now he got the same fate as Aether.

Lumine: Y/N! NO!

Due to her seeing both her brother and friend dissappear right in front of her she was in shock as she didn't move. Which the sustainer took opportunity off as now she used her attack on Lumine. And right there Lumine came back to reality as she uses her power to stop it.

Her power starts to dissappear like Y/n's and now she is seen struggling as well and getting enfulged by the cubes. Lumine cries out something for the last time in sometime.

Lumine: WAIT! GIVE THEM BACK!

and then she got fully consumed by the cubes. The Sutainer of heavinly principles has won.

Sometime later on a Teyvat beach

???: So...What you're trying to say is that you fell here? From another world? But when you wanted to leave on go on to the next world. Your path was blocked by some unknown god?

The one talking was a girl with white hair and black eyes, her most noticeable feature is her height and she was flying. She had a black thingy on her hair and what looks to be a halo.

Paimon 'EMERGENCY FOOD'

Who she was talking to was non other than the protagonist of this story Y/n.

Y/n: Pretty much. And just like that she took away my friends, some kind of seal was set upon me and I lost all my powers. While we used to travel from world to world together, now we are trapped here. Ain't that a bitch?

He looks down with a sad look on his face. Y/n may not be the nicest person, but he enjoyed the twins' company.

Y/n: How many years ago was it? I don't know...honestly this whole thing is just crazy and weird. I intend to find them both though! And I'm not giving up due to a cube lover!

Paimon looks towards him with a sympathetic look on her face.

Y/n: When I woke up I was all alone on a weird island, honestly started to feel like is houod make my own Wilson... That was until I met you two months ago, Paimon.

Paimon: Yeah, Paimon kind of owes you for that, otherwise Paimon would've drowned.

(Just imagine it's your OC or something.... Or don't. It's up to you)

Paimon: So Paimon will do her very best to be a great guide!

Y/n: Heh, you really are into that role, huh?

Paimon: Yeah! Jokes aside we should really head off, let's go!

And with that your now flying guide starts floating away. You get up from your seat on Dwayne Johnson. And follow her.

The both of you start heading alongside the shore to get off the beach.

S U R P R I S E B I T C H

Out of seemingly no where a water type slime appeared and is starting to head towards the h/c haired boy.

Y/n: why hello there!

Y/n readies up his sword and it was clearly a dull one, not the one Y/n used in the beginning.

The slime tries to bounce hit the protagonist, but he easily evades and starts doing a combo on the watery boi until it dies.

Y/n: these thing surely can get annoying every second.

He proceeds to continue on following his white haired companion. The both of you walk up a small hill until you reach a dead end.

Paimon: The path ends here. Guess we just have to climb.

Y/n: and by "we" you mean only me...

Y/n proceeds to climb that bad boy up as if he is a medieval Spiderman.

Y/n: 🎶 Spider-Man Spider-Man. Does whatever a spider can. He comes in your house with a pan. Then he ends your life span. Look out her comes Spiderman🎶

Paimon: Sheesh! That's quite a dark song!

Y/n: *chuckles* where are we going anyways?

Paimon: We're off to...a Statue of The Seven! Which of the seven are you looking for exactly?

Y/n: Uh, the one you recommend.

Paimon: Okay, off we go!

The both of you continue on until you reach a cliff. Paimon seems to enjoy the view and it's for a good reason.

Paimon: oh woooww!

You look to see from a distance quite the big statue and it seems to be a person with wings holding an orb.

Paimon: That's the statue of The Seven! There are a few of these statues scattered across the land to the The Seven's protection over the world.

Paimon: Among the seven gods, this one controls the wind. Paimon's not sure if the God you're looking for is the anemo god, but Paimon'll take you the anemo God's statue first, and there is a reason for why.

The both of you start walking down the hill while Paimon explains.

Paimon: As we all know poetry and language flow like the wind. There'll definitely be someone there who knows about your friends. At least, that's what Paimon thinks! Wether the gods answer you is a different story. You never know unless you try!

Y/n: Good enough for me, let's see what the statue does.

Finally the two manage get down the hill, but getting to the statue was surrounded by a lake.

Y/n: I would've preferred not to get my clothes wet, but beggars can't be choosers I guess.

Swimming across the two finally managed to get to the statue. Y/n starts walking towards it and put his hand on the gold side of it. After doing so out of nowhere orbs shine a bluish green color from the golden part.

Taking a step back to see what else is happening. He sees the orb the statue was holding is shining the same color as well. Until the glow leaves the orb and starts floating with a wing logo on it towards the interested boy. Until it hits his chest as Y/n feels power go throw him.

His previously non glowing gems on his wrists start glowing the same color as the orbs. Paimon had a surprised look on her face.

Paimon: Ooh! Did you just feel the elements of the world.

Y/n: I did and I feel violated...

Paimon: Seems like all you had to do was touch the statue and you got the power of Anemo!

Paimon: As much as they want to, people can never get ahold of powers as easily as you...

Y/n: Well, that's because I'm out of this world. Literally.

Paimon: Ah-ha! Indeed! If we keep heading west we'll reach Mondstat the city of freedom! Modstat is the city of wind because they worship the God of Anemo. So perhaps, because you got powers from the god of Anemo. Maybe you can find some clues there. There are also a lot of bards there so perhaps one of them heard news about your friends!

Y/n: Then to Mondstat we go!

Paimon: The elements in this world responded you your prayers and Paimon thinks that's a lovely sign.

As if the world likes to throw pranks at you, out of seemingly nowhere four fire slimes pop into existence.

Y/n: *sarcasticly* Oh for me? You shouldn't have...

After the sarcastic remark. Y/n thinks to himself that this is the perfect opportunity to test out the Anemo powers.

Y/n: Well, there goes nothing.

Putting his hands together a sudden wind comes from it and as it hits the slimes it spreads the fire until the wind orb explodes sending the slimes flying away and spreading more fire to the grass.

After the wind exploded some orbs bluish green orbs start flying towards you and makes you feel like your charged something.

Y/n: Oooh! I can get used to this.

Pulling your sword you finish off the slimes. As more of them appeared. You smirk and use your charged attack to send a MOTHERFUCKING TORNADO WHAT THE FU-ahem any ways it pulls the slimes in and due to the slimes being fire type the tornado changes color to red and spreads even more fire.

Sheesh. Whoever comes here is gonna be super confused and annoyed.

Paimon: Woah... These are the Anemo powers you got from the statue of The Seven! Awww... Paimon's so jealous. Why doesn't Paimon get cool fighting powers!?

Y/n: Pfft I dunno. Well now, let's actually go to Mondstat this time.

And even more walking.... Honestly the author is starting to feel weird due to how many "and they" started walking he has to write

Anyways after almost reaching the city of freedom suddenly a big shadow is seen on the ground. Y/n and Paimon Look up to see a big ass flying blue thing.

Paimon: Waoh! What is that?!

Y/n: Either a dragon or an oversized butterfly..... Or both.

Paimon: It's heading towards the heart of the forest! We must proceed with caution.

Y/n: Of course the oversized lizard butterfly goes in the same direction we have to in...let's get this over with.

After about 30 seconds of walking, I know so much walking. please kill me. I want this walking chapter to be over with.

Paimon: Huh, look at that!

Y/n: Let's not-*whisper shouting* PAIMON NO. oh my God she just flew in.

As fast as you could you hide behind a tree and take a little sneak peek on the growling dragon. You see the Dragon looking down on what looks to be a bard who is wearing green.

Bard: Don't be afraid...It's alright now. I'm back.

Paimon: *whispering* is he talking... to a dragon?

Before Y/n could respond the gem on his belt start blinking before shining like a light house.

Y/n: Well shit.

And of course the dragon and the bard notices. The dragon roars in your direction before roaring louder at the bard and slapping him away.

Bard: Huh?! Who's there?!

The bard slowly walk backward before dissapering in the same color as your orb while the dragon is roaring at you with such force you had to put your arm up to shield your eyes. The dragon starts flying before diving at you as if it is a military plane show and flies away.

Oh and Paimon was holding your hair to not get blown away... Ouch.

Paimon *Panting* T-that was close! Paimon almost got blown away! Luckily Paimon managed to get a hold of your hair! Thanks.

Y/n: That hurt you know? Luckily you didn't pull out my hair. Besides what made you think it was a good idea to take a look at the dragon?!

Paimon: W-well, Paimon was just super curious. It's not everyday Paimon sees these kinds of stuff. But what was that? Paimon though we were gonna get eaten! Hmm, it definitely has something to do with that weirdo who was talking to the dragon...

Y/n: is talking to dragons normal here?

Paimon: Of course not! Huh, what's that?

Paimon looks towards a floating and glowing red crystal on a B I G R O C C.

Paimon: There is some kind of shiny red thingy on the big rock over there...let's go take a closer look.

Y/n climbs Dwayne the rock Johnson to get the red crystal.

Paimon: Be careful! Paimon has a bad feeling about this...Paimon has never seen a stone like this before, so Paimon can't tell what it is. All that Paimon knows is that it's dangerous. Best we put it away for now.

Y/n: Alright. Now let's go to Mondstat and stop getting sidetracked.... *mutters* says me who gets sidetracked alot.

As the both if you finally are able to go to the city of freedom. Someone shouts at the both of you.

Girl's voice: HEY YOU! STOP RIGHT THERE!

(I FEEL THE SKYRIM MEMES AND QUOTES COMING! RUN!)

You hear someone running from a small hill on your left until she eventually reaches the side and jumps.

Y/n: Damn she thicc.

As she had her moment in slow-mo, she finally reaches the ground and does a safety roll and stands up almost tripping. She looks towards you.

Amber 'Not actually useless'

Amber: May the Anemo God protect you, stranger!

She does a salute and introduces herself.

Amber: I am Amber, Outrider for the Knights of Favonius. You don't look like citezens of Mondstat. Explain yourselves!

Y/n: Great,we haven't even entered the city and we're already getting deported.

Paimon: W-we're not looking for trouble. Paimon and Y/n are just here to enter Mondstat.

Amber: That's what all the trouble makers say. Besides *looks at Y/n* that doesn't sound like a local name to me.

While Y/n was holding back on punching the Outrider due to how annoying she is.

Amber: and this...mascot. What's the deal with it?

And now Y/n was smiling. And that smile didn't have good intentions in it.

Y/n: Emergency food.

Paimon: HEY! That's worse than being a mascot!

Said the mascot of the game genshin impact as she literally is the icon of the game.

Amber: So to sum it up. You two are traveling partners, right?

Y/n: Yup, the chef and the food.

Paimon: STOP IT!

Amber: Well look, there has been a large dragon sighted Mondstat recently. Best you get inside the city as soon as possible. It's not far from here, I'll escort you there.

Paimon: Oh? Aren't you out here for some other reason?

Amber: I am, but not worry. I can keep you both safe while doing too. Besides... I'm not sure if I can trust you two just yet.

Y/n: That's quite a rude way to speak to guests. Wouldn't you say?

Amber: Oh ah... I'm sorry. Probably not something I should say as a knight. I give you my apologies... Uh... Strange yet... respectable travelers.

Y/n: that sounded faker than a youtube apology video...

Paimon: Indeed! Wait what's youtube?

Amber: Do you have against the language usage prescribed by the Knights of Favonius Handbook?

Y/n: Yeah, they should change it.

Amber: Why you?!

Y/n: why me.

Amber: Ugh! Let's get this over with...

Paimon turns towards you.

Paimon: wasn't that a little too rude?

Y/n replied with a smile on his face.

Y/n: Nope.

*insert legend of Zelda Amber has joined the party sound here*

Amber readies her bow and shoot a floating wind slime.

Amber: So... Suspicious and rude travelers. What are you doing in Mondstat?

Y/n: Got separated from two of my friends during a long ass journey.

Paimon: And Paimon is now his travel buddy helping him find his lost friends!

Amber mutters with a hint of guilt.

Amber: Oh... Looking for you're friends... Huh.

Y/n: Hm?

Amber: O-oh, it's nothing. Hey, let me finish my tasks at hand first then I can help you put posters around the city.

Y/n: Hm, that's a sudden change of heart.

Amber: Just accept it!

Y/n: who said I'm declining I'm just taken back by the request. Thanks. Just what exactly do you need to finish?

Amber: it's simple you'll understand in a bit.

Amber starts running up a hill as the two of you follow behind. Paimon seems to notice something at the top.

Paimon: Ah! A hilichurl!

Amber: Quick, get it!

Amber and Y/n dash towards the hilichurl as Amber readies up her shot charging it with fire and releasing the shot hitting the unfortunate hilichurl. As it was knocked down, Y/N takes the opportunity to land two hits finishing it off.

Amber: These monsters are starting to get closer to the city. My task this time is to clear out their camp.

Not far from their current location. The trio spot a camp with three hilichurl... Well four if you count the now dead hilichurl. One of them was on a tower while two were on the ground.

Y/n: you think you can shoot and knock down the one up there?

Amber: You bet!

She readies her bow aiming for the head of the unaware hilichurl and releases it hitting the hilichurl knocking him off the tower as it barely gets up. Amber readies another shot and shoots one of the now alerted hilichurls.

Y/n runs up to the two hilichurls slashing them then using his anemi power to knoch them back. After that he runs up to the barely standing hilichurls and ends him. Amber shoots the other hilichurls ending him as well. Now there is a lone hilichurls surrounded. It charges to the closest enemy which is Y/n, but the sarcastic protagonist slashes him multiple times knocking it down and killing it.

Amber: Heh, nothing to it. But I have to say you surprised me a little with your moves there.

To which Y/n responds cockily.

Y/n: What can I say? I'm full of surprises.

Amber: Still, thanks for the back-up.

Paimon: now that Paimon thinks about it. How did the hilichurls ended up here? These creatures don't look like they would set camps near cities like this.

Amber: Exactly. It is much more normal for them to be farther out in the wilderness,but because of the dragon "Stormterror" has been around a lot more recently, our orchards have been destroyed and the local market is getting affected as well. When the storm hit, we usually end up with at least few injuries, so the Knights of Favonius have been tied up doing their best to defend the area.

Paimon: So these annoying creatures have been getting closer and closer to the city?

Amber: Exactly. That being said cleari G this camp helped making this area a little bit safer.

Amber turns towards Y/n.

Amber: Come with me a responsible knight must make sure to see you to the city safely.

Y/n: Lead the way, Outrider.

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Whew, that took longer than I thought. Holdu crap I'm at 3740+ words.

So there you have it the first official chapter of Teyvat Shenanigans. I hope you enjoyed it and didn't get bored on the way here.

So how was it? Good? Bad? Confusing as fuck?

You know the drill,critisim are appreciated. And tell me if something confused you in this chapter.

The next chapter should be out tomorrow or the day after, hopefully.

The running fruit shall use the secret Joestar technique now.