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18 - I Can't Go On

I have some questions to ask you again in the author's notes.



I realize that I have been acting differently. I don't know what it is.

What could it be? How have I been acting differently? My rage. No... that's not it. The rage is building up inside me, but I know that couldn't be it.

"Test subject 10652 please report to testing. Test subject 10625 please report to testing," I hear.

Finally!

I stay seated, waiting around 10 minutes. Once I feel that the scientist must be looking for me, I get up and walk over to the teleporter. I get in and I go to testing.

"What is your number?" the protector asks.

"10652," I reply.

"Scientist 136 has been looking for you! Go to room 56, if you can find it. If not come back here. The scientist left to look for you."

I nod my head and I enter. I then run down the hallway, looking for room 56. When I find it, I run in and I start looking through the cabinets. I find something that has a paper in front of it that says, "Syringe," on it and some bottles that say various things. The bottles say things such as, "sleep," "knock out," "confusion," and so on.

Now that I think about it, how am I going to bring this back...? I don't have anywhere to put it or the scientist will see. I guess I'll have to put it outside of the room?

I leave the room, and look for a place to put this. I decide on putting it in an empty room nearby that only has a counter in it.

I just hope that no one notices it.

I quickly go back to the testing room, and wait for the scientist. Wait... What am I going to say when she gets back? I'm so worried... She will find out that I purposely wasn't going to testing! I should just act calm when she comes in...

When the scientist comes in, I try to act normal.

"Where were you?" she asks.

"I...didn't realize that I had testing. At first," I say.

"Didn't you hear an announcement to go?" she asks.

"Well... I didn't realize it at... first," I say.

"I see," she replies.

"Yeah..." I say.

"Anyway, I would like you to drink this and then lay down," the scientist says handing me a purple drink.

I take it from her and then I lay down.

"End program," she says.

"It's been going well," I hear the scientist say.

"That's good," says scientist 112.

I wonder why the scientist hasn't told me to get up yet. I'm tempted to do so, but I don't.

"Is there anything that hasn't been going good?" asks scientist 112.

"Well... ever since we did the procedure, she's had that red tint in her eyes. It's very unnoticeable. Also, today, she came late to testing."

"I wouldn't worry about either of those. Plenty come late to testing at least once," says scientist 112.

"What if it continues to happen? I'm afraid that it will."

"It will not, I guarantee you."

"But what if it does?"

"Then we will have to think about doing something else. Like having her be one of those lab rats!" scientist 112 laughs.

"Yeah," scientist 136 says, laughing a little, "Let's hope that doesn't happen though. She's our first. Our first success in creating another... Wait! Think about it! We are the first here, first to succeed. We've done something amazing!"

"Haven't you realized what is more amazing? We will become known!" exclaims scientist 112.

"Your right! You should get going, testing will be ending soon."

"Oh right, I'll leave. I'll see you later," says scientist 112 and then I hear someone leaving.

"Get up," the scientist says to me.

I wonder what was going on with scientist 136 and scientist 112.... Maybe I don't want to know.

I get up.

"You can go back now," she says to me.

"Where?" I ask.

"To the lounge," she replies.

"Wait," she says to me.

"What?" I ask.

"I... have some more testing to do on you."

"Alright," I reply.

She hands me a purple drink and drink it laying down after.

"E... end program," she says very quickly.

I hear her calling for scientist 112. What is she doing?

Soon I hear someone walk into the room.

"I'm here, what do you need?"

"Let's do something."

"Isn't she in testing?" asks scientist 112.

"I told her that she had to have more testing. Not like that's true," says scientist 136 laughing.

Scientist 112 starts laughing as well.

"Smart move," says scientist 112.

"She's clueless!"

"Yeah," says scientist 112 unable to control her laughter, "They are all clueless! They think that we are on their side! Not that they even know what that means."

"So clueless. Their stupidity...!"

"Yes, their stupidity. They know less than the people who work in the mess hall or even the people who clean! They are nothing!"

I'm not one of these people, right?

"All of them, all of them. Every single test subject...." Says scientist 136.

Wait... all of the test subjects? I knew it meant something bad...

"Why do we even have this job anyway? Those test subjects are disgusting sometimes! I wish I had a different job!"

"I think I see what you mean. Although we are the ones who get to torture them."

"I guess you're right. I guess they are not the worst. If feel bad for the watchers and the protectors! Especially the watchers!"

"Yeah! The watchers have to watch the test subjects from behind the scenes. It's the bottom of the jobs!"

"What's the job ranking again?"

"Watcher, cleaner, protector, mess hall worker, scientist, area boss, official, and there are the people who run the place."

"Oh right. It just slipped my mind."

"That's alright," says scientist 136.

"Don't forget the test subjects. They are at the very bottom."

"But the test subjects are test subjects... they can't become anything else."

"If you do a horrible job you could end up being demoted to one. Remember 127? He got demoted to a test subject a long time ago."

"Now that I think about it, you're right. It rarely happens."

"That's because no one wants to be a test subject," says scientist 112.

What? Being a test subject is at the very bottom? I can't become something better? Everyone else could become one if they do horrible? Is being a test subject really that bad?

I am tempted to get up, but I do not. I know that something bad will happen if I do. I don't know why I know, but I just do. Maybe it's because of what the scientists are talking about.

"We really are lucky," says scientist 136.

"Huh? Why's that? Oh. It's because we aren't test subjects, right?"

"Yeah. We are also lucky that we aren't watchers either. They spend all their time with the test subjects. Imagine how bad it must be."

"I totally agree with you! It must be horrible being at the bottom at it all."

"Are you feeling sympathy for them?" asks scientist 136.

"No... I'm just thinking that I wouldn't want to be one. Those watchers are just as bad as the test subjects!"

"Makes sense, as they are almost at the bottom.

Seconds' later scientist 112 says, "I just realized something. The test subjects have to do no work."

"That's part of what makes them so useless."

"Oh wait. They do have work."

"What is that?"

"Going to testing."

Scientist 112 and scientist 136 start laughing.

"That's funny! As if they wouldn't go!"

"Hey, I heard recently that some test subject went to testing thinking their name was called when it wasn't. Turns out there wasn't even any announcements!"

They laugh some more.

"I wonder what idiot did that."

Hey... aren't they talking about me? They have it wrong... I purposely went... to rebel! To try to get in there! They... have it all wrong.

"Don't you think her so-called-testing should end soon?" asks scientist 112.

"Ha! Who cares about any of that?"

"I was just thinking that because we've been talking for a while. Can't let those test subjects now how we feel about them."

"Why does it even matter that we don't tell them?"

"Huh?"

"Why not just let them know that they are hated?"

"Because... if we tell them... then they will rebel. And we can't have those test subjects rebelling, isn't that right?"

"She can't hear you," says scientist 136.

"Who cares? Anyway, we are already being mean just making them think that we like them."

"Couldn't be more right on that."

"Oh! I have so much fun being a scientist sometimes. Even though I have to deal with those test subjects, it's nice to do bad things to them... and them suffer! Anyway, how has this test subject been doing in general?"

"Pretty good. She was compatible right from the start!"

"So you were stuck with a compatible?"

"Guess so. Still feels awesome to be the first to create another person inside one of the test subjects."

"Yeah. It seems like she could be the most compatible out of everyone."

"I think she might be."

"Really? So then that makes things even worse."

"I enjoyed seeing her clueless though," says scientist 136.

"Now she's like a hum-wait. Can't call her that. She doesn't deserve to be called human. All of the test subjects are just disgusting."

"Yep, better make sure not to call her a human. I don't even think the test subjects even are human. Then the watchers are somewhat human. They have to be around test subjects all the time. Then everyone else is human."

"Well... we have to be around test subjects. So do protectors. Not meaning to go against you, just pointing that out."

"I feel that everyone except for the test subjects themselves and the watchers are protected."

"Interesting theory."

"It's not a theory! It's true! There's no way the test subjects could be human!"

"You're right on that. I agree, actually. I think everyone does, except for the test subjects themselves."

I'm... not considered human? I'm human for sure! I know that I have to be... right? Either way, I'll still consider myself human!

"You do?"

"Yeah!"

"Nice!"

"I should probably get going..." says scientist 112.

"Why are you leaving?"

"Oh! Now I have to go. I have to meet the test subject... It is test subject 10012. I hate how her name has 12 at the end like mine does. Ugh. I don't want to go."

"Well... you have to."

"Can't I just skip it once?"

"No! It would be unfair if you didn't have to do anything."

"You're right... but..."

"I know. No one wants to go near them. You just have to go over there, and pretend like everything is normal! You should hurry."

"See you later! Bye!"

"Bye," says scientist 136.

I hear scientist 112 leave the room.

"Get up," says scientist 136 to me after a few minutes.

I get up, trying to hide the shock on my face. Surprisingly, I do well. I at least think I do, as scientist 136 doesn't mention it.

"You can go now," she says to me.

I nod.

Wait... Where am I going to put them? I'm going to the lounge... I guess I'll have to figure that out when I get there?

I leave the room, and then sneak into the room where I put the items. I pick them up, and then I realize that I will have to carry them back in my hands.

I then come up with the idea of putting the syringe in my shoe. I do that, and I hold the bottles.

I run out through testing, and when I reach the door I stop. While running, the bottles make noise. I stop as I know that the protector will hear.

Once I exit testing, I slowly walk past the protector. I notice that I can see my reflection in the transporter. Uh oh. I know that the protector will notice me. I will go to my right then. That's the way I went last time, except it was to my left that time.

While the protector isn't looking, I start walking right. As it gets darker, I start to run.

I stop when I am out of breath. I look behind me. I can see a faint light not that far into the distance. Beyond that, I can see that it starts to get lighter.

Ugh... I guess I'll continue and I'll look for a transporter. There should be one soon enough, right?

I walk farther into the darkness, looking for a transporter. I can't see at all, so maybe it wasn't such a good idea to do this.

I look behind me. I don't see any light from the outside of testing. I turn back around and continue to walk in the blackness. I don't know why I am doing this.

Why am I doing this? I should stop. I should stop. I can't. I have to keep on going. I will find something. I know that I will if I continue, I will find something. I know it! I just know it!

I keep on going, but I don't see anything. Was I wrong about all of this? I don't know... I don't know... My foot is hurting from having the syringe in it and I'm getting tired of holding these bottles. I can't do this anymore! I can't. I can't. I can't. Wait... wouldn't they... be looking for me by now?

I get closer to the wall so I am brushing against it. Eventually, I don't feel the wall anymore. I turn right, as there must be a hallway going this way.

I continue walking down this new hallway, getting even more tired with every few steps. I can't make it... I can't make it... I... I... I'm... The rage. The rage. The rage...

Something comes to mind. The number... 9536. Why would I remember that number? What significance does it have? I don't know... I don't...

I can't go on... I have to... I have to... I have to do something!

I get closer to the wall again. It makes me feel better.

I then walk away from the wall. I start to run.

I know that I can't make it much longer. So I just have to try. I just have to try to make it farther! I know that I can do it!

I can feel myself start slow down. I start walking again. I can't run any longer.

I start to get slower and slower and slower....

I know that I can't continue on much longer.

I can't make it anymore...

I fall to the ground.





AN: So... what did you think of the chapter? I had to add to this chapter so I could have it end where it ends. (If your wondering, I added in a second conversation between scientist 136 and scientist 112 which turned out to reveal a lot of information.)

What do you think will happen next? What are your theories? How do you think it will end? I want to know! I'm going be giving shout outs based from a few people who have theories that I like and that make sense (that make sense with the story line and all). So I'm going to be posting these shout outs next chapter or the chapter after that.


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