"To form the tesseract, we need to know the value of the matter!" I slapped my head and shrieked a frustrated yell in my congested, little house. My desiderium for achieving the little portal I was trying on, ever since my sister died, was driving me insane.

No calculations matched, no relative equation could solve.

My heart was afraid of the cimmeranian shadow, that was spreading in me, tormenting me and shattering me at the same time.

If only you were still alive, Noona.

Grief is a healthy process of feeling comforted, coming to terms with a loss, and finding ways to adapt. But the tinted patch of despair, embedded on my heart, was mixing with the translucency of my life.

The sun was setting in purple and blue and the reflection on the mirror didn't appear to be me. Those eyes that once held the blimming marmoris of the ocean, were now holding a conflagrating taccenda of just pollent calamity.

My throat felt pulled taut as if the air was wringing me, my heart was throbbing inside me, my capillaries were ripping. I can't keep a thing in me anymore. The more I try of hide, the wilder these emotions surge out of me.

I always foresaw sanguinity about my judgement and wished that people would agree and support me, but every time I tried to approach them face to face, they left me and repudiated it like I had no value. It hurt more when even the only person you knew you could hold tight and cry, was no more around.

The pain feels like it just ripped my heart off my chest. But I'm still forced to live, forced to breathe and live through my masochistic life.

"Argh!" I heaved an aphotic cry, choking my body with my own hands. A stasis of blood felt like building inside me. My lassulus falculae were dreading scars on my skin.

I needed water. I ragged my body to the kitchen sink, opening the tap, only to get droplets of sublimating nothing.

Nothing lasts forever. Forever's a lie. Eternity is a stigma attached to my fate. Fate was nothing, no more.

The apartment had no water. I coughed due to the lack of water in my body. My trachea begged at the whirling force it exerted while pushing the body failing signals to my brain.

It was late, too late to call the water supply office. The trade union strike promised no shops that would provide me water.

"What should I do? I... I need water." I breathed heavily and pulled my body out of my house and speeded towards the car, I was given by the company, and drove straight to Y/n's.

The journey was long and I was breaking the road rules, I know. But I didn't want to faint now.

I ran out of the car and climbed up her stairs, tripping over my own feet. The hole stuck in my heart is getting bigger. That small island enclosed in a veil in my soul, overwhelmed me. I'm hollowed out once again.

Fateful shipwreck, suspended time within it, I'm dying while I reach it.

"Noona?" I called out, pushing the bell quite a many times. I was starving. This dream of mine was driving me crazy, enough to the point I don't get to eat.

"Noona? I need you..." The tips of my lips felt chapped like the icy frost February, the coldest month in the country.

"Who?"

"I need water. I don't have... Water at home." I dropped to my feet as the door opened. It wasn't her scent.

I felt a masculine grip over my fragile body, holding me as tight as my clenched soul in my spirit.

"Sunoo? What happened? Come in... I'll help." Hearing him, I realised it was Heeseung. Grabbing his warm hands, I secured my strength over my intentions of pulling my body. I hadn't hydrated my body for over a day and the stress it put on my poor kidneys, was equal to the pressure I was carrying around in the day and then frustrating it out at night, yet again on myself.

"Here, I got you a bottle of water." I gulped the puddle of water and let it pass through my oesophagus, nursing my dried up body. I panted as the feeling relaxed me, finally breathing my energy level.

"Th-thanks, hyung." The broken pauses and tremors in my voice, felt so nostalgic to me.
Pain is influenced by emotions, and the cycle of pain and emotions are interrelated. Emotions may directly impact physical change as well.

My physical changes had no scars, had no marks but the developed ADHD and anxiety, I wasn't helping at all. A little to a lot, it increased substantially and with impact.

"Look what you've done to yourself. Haven't met your noona in a while, have you?" He yelled in a low whisper, and ruffled my hair.

"I... I haven't. I haven't met her. For... A week, maybe. I was busy and she... She was busy." I reported.

"She is. Look at her, doing overtime again. This is why I wasn't happy with her joining that darn company. They just... Hurl. Hurl loads of work over their employees like... Like we're some, you know, what do they call that, again? Yeah! Like some uncared dog." I let a chuckle at his comments, realising how much he hates his own company. Not to say, we all work for the same company, and can't deny his allegations.

The company, makes us all work like dogs and stand like horses. Also, a reason why I am doing all the work alone. Soobin had joined the engineers' team under the LCMB, and barely got off. Yeonjun, I wonder how long he works in the hospital. Addelyn helps me out, but her pressure with her PG is hard and harder.

Y/n, just how her brother complained, has been working over time since she joined. I hate to see her worn out and stay up again at night, preparing policies for enhanced marketing designs.

And that guy in her office, Jaechan, had a bitter interaction with me on the very first time I ever went to pick her. I don't own her and I won't stop her from interacting with other guys. But that particular shortie, I hate that shortie.

I clenched my metacarpus, condemning my anger inside my raptured veins and cheekily grinded my teeth.

"Boy, I'm hungry. You think, you can substitute Y/n today?" Heeseung shouted my name from the table in their kitchen.

"Will that be okay?" I asked, slowly getting up. My stomach grumbled due to the starvation.

"Sure!" I joined him on the table, smiling at him. He served me a plate of steamed rice with a bulk of fruits. That looked like jewels decorating the grains of rice. I took a small bite, nourishing my malnutritioned body. The richness of the fruity flavours, mashed with rice, bloomed an exotic sense in my taste buds.

"You like it?" He asked, taking spoonfuls himself.

"It's great. What's it?" I asked.

"I don't really know the name. My cousin, Niki, you know right? His mum's friend had taught my mum. I used to eat it often, before Y/n was born. And... I just know the taste. I prepared it based on my faint memory."

"It's so great to cook childhood favourites, right?"

"It is. What was your favourite childhood dish?" He asked. I looked in his eyes, holding a silent cry in my orbs. If only I had a favourite and was just how I used to be.

"I... I didn't have a favourite. I don't know anything about my parents. I lost them and grew up in foster care. But... Maybe, it was chocolate that my birth sister and foster sister would sometimes sneak out." I confessed things I never told anyone. Or it would be better to say, I had no one to tell. I was a speech impaired tunnel, through which the light creaked in and it could only cry in a deafening solace.

"Oh! And... Umm... How's work?" He tried holding a conversation.

"Just how it's with her. I'm tired." I cracked my knuckles, eating a slice of apple in the rice, that was sweeter than ever.

"Understandable. That's the same with me, and the cause is evident, our fatal company. Anyways, how's your project?"

"Project?"

"The tesseract. Weren't you researching on it?" He sipped a glass of water, talking with pauses in his sentences.

"Noona told you?" A stern tone echoed through my voice. I wasn't against her telling her brother, but the fact that it was dangerous to reveal even a bit of the research.

"She did. You've been working on that nonstop, right? I can see the horror in your eyes. Don't worry, it's sealed among us. I know the dangers you're working along." He cracked an unbothered smile, and continued chewing.

His physiognomy spoke more than his words. He wasn't astonished to know anything, rather quiet perturbed inside and I could feel that. He was uneasy with my discomfort.

"You know about the tesseract?" I knew that they didn't teach the theories to the school children and unless he takes the field, he won't know about it. But, he's a hotelier.

"I do. I know you're wondering how I do. Well, I was a quantum physics student in my early college life but changed streams later."

"Why did you change streams?!" I pulled my hands to the table, bending closer to him with a pout pulled on my lips.

"I... I don't know myself. I don't know why I changed. Or, I don't want to remember. I had less job opportunities with that. So I took that what could feed two stomachs until my kid was old enough." He forced a curve on his lips, holding back the same cry I was stopping.

"And...? You could be a teacher like me." I protested his excuse.

"Y/n told me the same thing. You know, things don't work the ways we want them to. Some wings don't have the option to sprout.

Tesseract is a hard theory, which isn't a new inspiration. Just, the language isn't that old. The explanations to a travelling unit, faster than light has always existed. Some believed it spiritually, while some believed it blindly.

Hinduism was the first that saw this theory. Legends say the then priests believed it to be a door that linked the Supremes and the Humans.

Buddhism believes it to the centre where all sins and deeds come together, and do a peace treaty. Taoism and Shintoism say that it's the place where the highest concentration develops.

Sufism says it's the door between Jannah and Jahannam, heaven and hell.

Jews say it a chariot to higher realms and Christianity believes it to be God itself.

Science says it can make you travel through dimensions, just like the spiritual beliefs. Heaven and Hell, sinners and angels, concentration and peace; all are various words for dimensions, which we can't define.

Some say it only opens at a specific geological point, where the altitude of spirituality matches. As a believer of science, I can't say they are correct. But they aren't wrong as well.

I just know that, you won't succeed unless you let go off your reckless nature. You won't succeed unless to learn to find the beauty in the worst of all, in the worst of insults, in the worst of the world.

And you know, where you get the worst of all? When you learn to love something even after knowing its faults and worsts. When someone loves you at your worst."

I kept quiet, listening to the unknowns of my life, the little things I didn't think of. Isn't it so hard to explain things? To explain theories that do not define. All that is proven can be defined, but what about those that don't exist? How do we define those?

"I know, you can do it. Calm down and think of the calculation. Light is manifested by the frequency of the wavelengths. I hope, that helps you. Go home and rest. Start it again, when you're sure of what you're doing."

________________________________

Hey Rosairises!
Quite late to update, ain't I?

So this chapter was just to clear out a little about the tesseract.
Don't worry, the end ain't anytime near.

For those wondering what the Tesseract is called in the said religions, it is called a "Merkaba" and, "Muraqaba" in Islam/Sufism.
They don't look the same but translate the same theory.

You can research it yourself but I won't explain it here.
It shall be there in the following chapters.

Now, Islam and Sufism ain't the same.
I do not know if there is any such belief in Islam, but if there is and you know that, I would like you to tell me.

Also, my school starts from Monday, which is why the updates may get unregulated, but I promise it won't stop.

Have a great day/night!