𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘 𝐓𝐖𝐎;
FINDING HAPPINESS

— REESE LOGAN KNEW THAT, at one point in her life, she must have been happy; before November fourth, when the world was a little house on Sunrise Street, wrapped up in her mother's warm embrace watching as her father and little siblings played. Reese thinks this might be the only memory of happiness that she has left — and it is nothing more than a fleeting, fading echo now. Muddled with months of curses, despair and a painful death, it's a wonder she held on to it for this long. But Reese had always been resilient, she was not one to easily break; despite everything life had put her through, she held on to her strength, held on to that sliver of happiness — in the hopes that one day she would find that feeling again. But after watching Annmarie and Taylor use their magic with such ease, Reese felt that resilience begin to slowly crumble. 

Reese laid on her floor, her legs curled up to her chest and her head still resting in Flynn's lap, and she felt a familiar sort of hollowness spread through her. It ate away at her, swallowing up any trace of joy she had felt when she first returned home. Her heart ached something fierce, like it was slowly being crushed in a tight fist. She didn't think she could take much more of this feeling before the void inside her completely swallowed her whole. Reese wished, for a moment, that she could go back in time — back to November fourth — when the flames had tore through her happy home, and convinced her past self to stay; to remain in the house with her mother and father. To be with them when the fire exploded through their chipping paint and childhood memories, taking her with them. Sure, she wouldn't be with Annmarie and Taylor, and she never would have gotten close to Elizabeth, but she also wouldn't have been damned to live a life like this. A life full of pain. A life she never wanted for herself.

Reese heaved out a heavy sigh that seemed to make the air in her room a little thicker, a little more pained, and pushed the thoughts like that out of her mind. Sure, she had suffered (possibly more than anyone else her age) but if she had stayed with her family, and perished with them, then Reese never would have freed her bloodline from over a century of being cursed; instead, she would have damned another to Morgana's clutches, and they might not have succeeded like she did. And if they failed then that might have meant certain death for other unsuspecting members of her family. So if it had to be anyone who had to endure this type of misery, Reese was glad that it was her. 

Almost as if Flynn could sense the kinds of thoughts Reese was having, the human girl began to run her fingers through Reese's hair in a calming manner. If Reese closed her eyes she could almost imagine it was her mother's touch, but she didn't let herself. Doing that would only make the ache in her heart hurt worse. The two girls had been sitting in the thick silence that surrounded them for what could have been five minutes or an hour, but neither one of them bothered to break it. Reese knew that Flynn kept quiet because every time she opened her mouth, Reese would snap at her; and despite the fact that the girl had comforted Reese in one of her lowest moments as a vampire, Flynn clearly feared that Reese would shout at her some more. But Reese didn't have the strength to yell; she felt as though all of her emotions had been sucked out of her, leaving her more like a marble statue than the living, breathing individual she was — well, sort of.

The guilt that had slowly been eating away at Reese reared it's head every time Flynn stroked her hair. Her friend, who had been the one constant in her human life, had changed drastically in the weeks since Reese's transformation; her blonde hair, which usually shone like gold, seemed to hang limply around her face and her blue eyes which had once help hope and joy were shrouded in despair and highlighted by dark circles that clearly were born from stress and sadness. Reese winced, knowing that most of these changes were of her own doing. She had treated Flynn horribly these past few days, taking out all of her pent up rage on her friend, but Reese couldn't help it. Every time Reese tried to forgive Flynn, tried to convince herself that she was past Flynn's decision, the reminder of the promise Flynn had broken wormed it's way back into her brain and rotted away all of the progress she had been making in the forgiveness department.

Even then, as Reese tried to remember how happy Flynn had once made her feel, despite the darkness that clung to her like a set of iron chains, she couldn't shake the betrayal off. Reese had never been one for holding grudges, her mother had always been a fan of the forgive and forget method, and while she tried to live her life in a way that would make Mallory proud, Reese just wasn't ready to do that. After all, how could she possibly forget when the choices Flynn had made on her behalf had eternal consequences; how could she forgive someone for putting her through this when it was the last thing she wanted? Perhaps Mallory wouldn't approve of her bitterness, but Reese didn't have a better way to deal with her emotions at the moment.

Flynn continued her movements, softly brushing through Reese's hair, although Reese could tell that she wanted to say something. Words that had clearly been eating away at her the whole time she comforted Reese. Reese waited patiently, allowing her friend to work over the words as Flynn opened and closed her mouth a number of times, struggling to get them out, but after a few moments Flynn finally cleared her throat and began to speak in a voice so quiet that had Reese not had such a keen sense of hearing now, she probably wouldn't have heard it.

"Reese," she started, her voice thick with unshed tears. "I am sorry for how this all turned out, you have to know that."

"I know you are."

"I didn't mean for it to end up like this."

"I know that too."

Flynn sniffled, doing her best to keep from crying. "Are you going to hate me forever?"

Reese let the question roll around her mind for a moment. If Flynn had asked her that a week ago, Reese would have replied yes without a second thought, but Reese wasn't so sure any more. Having Flynn comfort her while she cried had only reminded her of how important her friend had been — was — to her; how many times Flynn had been there for her when she needed her most. Flynn had sacrificed things for Reese too, and at one point had even suggested exchanging her own life so that Reese could live. Reese had always had a small list; a mental note of all of the people in her life who she truly cared about. Her mother and father were at the top, a given as they had been the first people to love Reese entirely. Then came the twins, her young siblings who meant the world to her (now more than ever, regardless of the ache in her heart she got when she saw them use magic). And for a while, that had been it; a mere four names — and yet, that had been enough for her. 

But now, Reese realized that her short list had grown a substantial amount in the last few months, increasing with size as she let new people into her life; people who stayed despite how difficult it got. Aunt Elizabeth, who had taken them in without having prior knowledge on how to raise kids, and had loved them as if the Logan's were her own. Emmett, who had been patient with her through her trials as a witch and as a newborn; but most importantly, Reese realized, was Flynn. Flynn who had stuck by her side regardless of how many times Reese had pushed her away; Flynn who had held her hand as she faded into the afterlife; Flynn who had stayed strong when Reese needed her most; Flynn who had watched over Annmarie and Taylor while Reese was gone — just like she had promised. Reese knew then that no matter how much anger she harbored for Flynn at that moment, she couldn't picture her life without the girl who had been with her through thick and thin.

"No," Reese finally answered. "No, Flynn, I won't hate you forever."

Tears filled up Flynn's blue eyes, giving them a glossy look. "You won't?"

"No, I just," Reese heaved out a heavy sigh. "I just need some time. I—I'm not happy with the choices you made for me, and I don't think I'll ever be, but I'm just so scared. I can't even recognize myself in this body. I just feel so lost. And not having my magic is making this feeling worse. It's like this empty void in me that just keeps getting bigger, and I know how to fill it but I can't. I'll never see my mom or dad ever again and eventually I'll have to leave the twins and then I'll have to watch everyone I love grow old and die and I'll still be here. Never changing. Always the same. Never moving forward. And that idea terrifies me more than anything I've ever been through. I'm really scared, Flynn."

Flynn stopped combing her fingers through Reese's hair, and reached out to grip her hand. Reese attempted to pull away from her friend's touch, fearful that Flynn would be able to feel the difference between them, but Flynn merely squeezed tighter. "I'm never going to leave you, Reese."

A sad expression formed on Reese's face. "You will leave though, you'll grow up, Flynn. You'll go away to college and convince some poor sucker to marry you and you'll have babies and a life, and I'll be somewhere else in the world, forever eighteen."

"Well that's then and this is now," Flynn told her firmly. "And right now, I'm here with you and I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

As they faded back into silence, Reese noticed a difference in the air surrounding them. It felt lighter, like it used to before. Back before January third, when it had been just Flynn and Reese navigating through this new world. And Reese wondered if Flynn could feel the change too. Even though every instinct in Reese was telling her not to trust Flynn's words, reminding her that she had broken a promise before so what was so different about this one, Reese blocked those thoughts out. Flynn had never once abandoned her, not even when Reese had tried to forcefully remove her from her life. She stuck around through thick (and boy did it get thick) and thin. Reese knew that she could trust this promise, and even though there would come a time where Reese would eventually have to leave this life behind (including everyone in it), that was then and this was now; and for now, Flynn would stay with Reese, holding her hand and helping her through the void of darkness that tried to hard to drag her down.  

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— REESE WISHED SHE COULDN'T fall asleep; she wished she could stay awake forever like Emmett and his family did. But the mix of Flynn's fingers slowly working through her hair and the weight of most of her anger off of her shoulders was enough to let the pent up exhaustion take over. Reese battled the yawns and heavy eyelids for as long as she could, but she wasn't strong enough to win. Her eyes fluttered shut and, like she did on most nights, Reese endured horrible nightmares; dreams of Morgana taking over her mind completely and wreaking havoc on the people Reese loved. Images of death fluttered behind her closed lids, she felt the burning sensation of her soul being shattered ripple through her body. She wanted to scream out, but her mouth felt like it was sewn shut.

She struggled against the hold her dreams had on her, letting out a few quiet whimpers, but she couldn't break free. Her nightmares, no matter how terrible, had never felt this real. She saw Morgana's wretched faces, watched as a familiar malicious smile curled over her lips, heard the words Reese had once shouted leave her mouth, felt the curse hit her like a train. Over and over and over again, Reese watched Morgana split her apart; she felt her darkness flood through her veins as Morgana invaded every crevice of her body, locking Reese in the darkest part of her own mind. She cried out for Emmett to help her; but no one came.

Then, she was startled awake. Reese's eyes shot open, a strangled gasp escaping her lips. For a moment, she was sure that she was dead again; certain that Morgana had truly gotten her. But then her eyes focused on her surrounding, and she saw Emmett. He was holding her in his arms, his hand rubbing soothing circles on her back as she shook. Reese collapsed into his grasp, letting his envelope her in his strong arms that made her feel like nothing could ever get her while she was there. She was still trembling, her palms aching from where she'd dug her nails into her skin in terror. 

"You're okay, Reese," Emmett whispered to her, holding her closer to him. "You're safe."

"She got me," Reese whimpered. "Morgana got me."

"You're safe now," Emmett repeated. "Morgana can't touch you."

"No one helped me," Reese continued, tears dripping down her cheeks. "I called for help, and no one came. I called for you, Emmett, but I was all alone." 

"I'm here, Reese," Emmett tightened his grip to prove his point. "I'll always come when you need me. I promise you, I'll never leave you alone."

Reese buried her face in his chest, trying to forget the things she'd seen — the things she felt. But no matter how hard she tried, Reese couldn't shake the feeling of having her soul shattered. Reese had felt pain before, she didn't think that anything could possibly hurt more than vampire venom flooding her veins, but she had been wrong; when the curse had touched her, Reese felt like she was being sliced open by a thousand knives at once. Tearing through her flesh with a jagged blade. Reese winced at the memory of the pain, she would give anything to never feel that again. Even if it meant never touching her magic again.

"Come on," Emmett lifted her chin with his index finger so that she could look him in the eyes. "Let's go get some air."

Reese accepted the hand Emmett offered her to help her up off the floor she'd fallen asleep on, and didn't let go once she'd risen to her feet. She still couldn't shake the feeling that she was still dreaming off, and Emmett helped to establish the line between a dream and reality. As they walked towards her bedroom door, Reese cast a look back towards Flynn. Her human friend was still sleeping soundly, her back against the wall and her head resting against her shoulder. She was still snoring lightly, her eyelids twitching as she dreamt. Flynn had always been a deep sleeper, and Reese was glad Flynn hadn't woken up to witness her nightmare. She didn't want anyone else to see her in that state. 

"Are the twins awake?" Reese asked softly as Emmett led her down the hallway.

"No. They're still sleeping, Elizabeth's passed out on the couch too."

"Good," Reese let out a breath of relief. "I don't want them to see me like this."

They silently maneuvered their way through the kitchen, careful not to wake up Elizabeth who was mumbling something incoherent in her sleep on the living room couch. Poppy stirred as they walked past her bed, cocking her head to side as she watched Reese and Emmett walk towards the front door. She whined softly, and Reese turned to the puppy, sticking out her hand as Poppy trotted behind them.

"I'll be back, Pops," Reese told the dog, petting her head. "Don't worry."

She knew that Poppy couldn't understand her, but Reese felt better saying it. She didn't want her dog to think she was going to abandon her again. Poppy returned back to her spot on the kitchen floor once Reese and Emmett shut the front door behind them, and Reese took in a deep breath, letting the brisk morning air fill her lungs. Emmett tugged her towards the chairs that were set up on the porch, the two sitting on the love seat so that Reese didn't have to release her hold on his hand. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Emmett asked her, his thumb working circles over the back of her hand. "Your dream?"

"It's the same thing as always," Reese told him after a moment.

"Morgana getting you?"

Reese bit her lip and nodded, hating the way that whenever Morgana's name was spoken a shuttered rolled down her spine. "She uses the same curse on me that I used on her, the one that shreds a soul. And then I have to watch as she kills everyone I love."

"That's never going to happen, Reese," Emmett comforted her. "Elizabeth and Flynn are going to find a way to get her out of you before she even gets the chance to hurt you."

Reese was glad that Emmett didn't have Edward's ability to read her mind, otherwise he might have known what she was truly feeling; the things she hid from him to protect him. Reese could feel Morgana, beating away at the cage Elizabeth had locked her away in. Every nightmare that Reese was forced to endure seemed to make her stronger, at first she'd thought it was just her fear making her feel those things, but now she knew. Morgana was breaking through Elizabeth's spell. This nightmare had been different, Reese knew it, something had cracked. She wondered how much time she had left until she was battling for control over her consciousness again. Reese opened her mouth to tell Emmett her fears, but swallowed the words back down; she didn't want to ruin this day. Not when she was finally back home and her relationship with Flynn was back on the mend. She didn't want to leave her family yet. 

"Yeah," Reese agreed instead. "You're right."

Reese felt the tension leave Emmett's body, he hated thinking about her being in danger. Together they watched the run rise, lifting itself over the white mountains and into the sky. It was still partially behind the cover of gray clouds that constantly hung over Forks, but Reese didn't care; not when she knew that there was a chance she could get trapped in her own mind, shut out from all the light in the world. Reese would take what she could get while she could get it.

"I love the sun," Reese admitted, resting her head on Emmett's shoulder. "I wish it wasn't so cloudy here, I miss feeling the warmth on my face."

"We'll go somewhere once you're all better," Emmett told her, pressing his cheek to the crown of her head. "Somewhere where the sun shines all day long."

"Iceland experiences Midnight Sun, where the sun never fully sets," A soft grin spread across Reese's lips at the thought. "I've always wanted to see Iceland." 

"It's settled then," Emmett said, a grin of his own lighting up his features. "We're going to Iceland."

"I'd like that very much," Reese spoke quietly. "How long would we stay?"

"As long as we'd like," Emmett told her. "I'd do anything to make you happy, Reese."

Reese tilted her head up a little so that she could look into his golden eyes, his gaze like liquid sunshine. "I like that very much, too."

Emmett moved his hand to cup her cheek and Reese leaned into his touch; being with Emmett made Reese forget all of her troubles. Her nightmare retreated back into the depths of her mind as she looked at him, the horrid imaged fading until she couldn't remember anything that had happened. The pain in her chest that usually accompanied her nightmares dissipated, making room for a feeling Reese had never felt before. It was a strange feeling, one that sent warmth through her body, despite the bite in the January air. A grin spread across his lips and Reese felt her own ghost of a smile mimic his; Emmett made her happy. Like how the twins and Elizabeth made her happy. He let his forehead press against hers, his fingers tracing her jawline softly. 

Reese closed her eyes, letting herself picture the scene; her and Emmett in a log cabin in a remote location in Iceland, sitting on the front porch basking in the sun for a whole twenty four hours. In this parallel universe, Reese isn't tormented by a deranged witch living in her head, there isn't a chance she's going to disappear from this world entirely. Reese knows that she was happy once, back when her parents were still alive and she was oblivious to her lineage, and she's spent over two months thinking that nothing could rival the memory of her mother's embrace or her father's laugh, but oh how she had been wrong; because sitting in Emmett's arms, picturing their future, Reese found that sliver of happiness she had been chasing. And this one, she wouldn't let go of — no matter how hard Morgana tried to take it from her, Reese would fight for this. For another chance at happiness.

authors note:

soooo long time no see ?? sorry for the super long wait on this chapter but i just lost a little bit of inspiration because the way i was writing this chapter just wasn't it,,but i figured it out !!! reese and flynn had a little bonding moment and their friendship is back on the mend !! also reese and emmett are just too cute and it's making me smile they are obviously so in love with each other they just don't know it //: and reese has been feeling morgana's presence a bit more which basically spells trouble . . . just for timeline references it's been over two weeks since elizabeth took her magic and blocked morgana (although reese has been feeling her she just didn't know it because it's coming across as anger which everyone thought was normal) and three days since she first reunited with flynn,,reese doesn't fully forgive flynn just yet but she loves her friend and is trying her best to get over the betrayal,,if you guys have any timeline related questions or questions in general just let me know (((: also this chapter is dedicated to my bby kara who loves reese just as much as i do (maybe more??) hope you forgive me for taking so long to update out fav girl !!