𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄;
ALMOST HOME

— REESE LOGAN PRIDED HERSELF on her ability to be able to handle shock well, but she couldn't help the surprised expression that rolled over her face when she rolled over to hit the snooze button on her alarm and saw the sun pulling itself over the mountains. In the two weeks that she'd been in Forks, Reese could count on one hand the number of times the clouds part long enough for the warm rays to shine down on the rainy town.

The thought of feeling the warmth on her skin — even for a few fleeting hours — gave Reese enough energy to throw off her blankets and attempt to prepare herself for the day. After her breakdown earlier in the week, Elizabeth had granted her a my-parents-are-dead-get-off-free-card; so she'd stayed home for the past three days, spending her time moping in her room while watching some horrid soap opera that happened to be on. In fact, the blonde planned on doing the exact same thing just maybe in the living room where the large window would allow the sunshine to soothe the darkness inside her that was bubbling over; but that plan was shot to hell when Reese stumbled into the kitchen, rubbing the layers of sleep out of her eyes.

Sitting at a stool at the breakfast counter, eating the blueberry muffins that Elizabeth had bought, was Flynn O'Connell. Reese blanched. Personally, she'd never wanted to see the pizza girl again after her shit show of a first day where she was humiliated by girls she barely knew and then broke down and cried to some strange dude who was only trying to be nice.

"What are you doing here?" Reese finally managed to get out, her green eyes flickering to Elizabeth who was making her lunch for that day. "What is she doing here?"

Elizabeth sighed, glancing up from the peanut butter jar and over to her niece. "You need human contact, Reese. Locking yourself up in your room isn't healthy. The twins are worried."

"I'm fine," Reese stated firmly, ignoring the dryness of her mouth at the blatant lie. "Really, I've never felt better."

"Good," Elizabeth smiled at her niece. "Flynn came to ask if you wanted to have a girls night with her. You know, dinner, sleepover, the whole nine yards."

"Girls as in plural?" Reese snapped angrily, just wanting to be left alone but not wanting to say it. "Because I only see you."

Flynn laughed good heartily. "You make it plural. C'mon, Reese, it'll be fun."

"Cutting out my appendix with a butter knife sounds fun," Reese muttered indignantly, taking a seat beside Flynn and toying with an apple she plucked from the basket of fruit. "This sounds like torture."

"Cheer up sport," Flynn joked, tossing her a muffin — which Reese barely caught. "I promise you'll have a good time."

It wasn't that Reese didn't want to make friends and have someone to hang out with — because in some alternate reality or deep part of her subconscious she did — it was that she felt like she shouldn't. It was hard enough for her to get up every morning and put a brave face on for the twins, Reese didn't need another person invading the only time she had away from her family making her pretend like she wasn't struggling. There was also the underlying aspect that Reese didn't think she deserved friends. How could she when people in her life died and she didn't? First, her cat — named Cat, respectively — had gotten killed by a stray dog wandering around after it had attempted to attack Reese; then, when she was seven Reese and her aunt Catherine — not an aunt by blood, but her mother's best friend — had gotten into a car accident where she was the only survivor; and lastly, her parents. Reese was supposed to be in the house doing homework. She should have been there. Instead, her mom and dad were dead and Reese was left alone. How could she befriend any one with a record like that?

"I think I'll opt out of that offer, thank you very much," Reese declared, sending her aunt a pleading look but Elizabeth ignored her.

"Reese," her voice had taken on a parental tone — something Reese had never heard from her before. "You're going. Promise me you'll go."

For a second, Reese contemplated saying no but the desperate look on her Elizabeth's face made her falter; she sighed and then nodded. "Alright, I promise I'll go."

With no room left for argument, the teenager grumbled under her breath, angry that Elizabeth couldn't see that bad things happened to those that got close to Reese Logan. The older woman ignored her though and trailed up the stairs to the twins' room to give them their lunch. Reese tried — and failed miserably — to get the extrovert out of her house, despite the promise she'd made. Usually, a Logan's word was law, but Reese was feeling particularly oath breakery that morning. The last thing she wanted to was to go out in public. But when Flynn showed no sign of leaving, Reese finally dragged herself upstairs to change out of her pajamas. She'd seriously contemplated just staying in her room and leaving Flynn in the kitchen by herself, but something in her told her to just suck it up and go.

Reese trudged down the steps pulling her jacket on over a sweatshirt that belonged to her aunt, Flynn took the packed bag from Reese's hand and practically dragged her out the front door. The O'Connell's beat up family car was parked haphazardly on the street and Reese pondered over how great of a driver her forced friend was, considering the number of dents and scratches it adorned on its sides — the thing looked like it had seen it's fair share of accidents; she didn't comment on this though, and instead cautiously pulled the passenger's door open and slid into the seat. Flynn jumped into the driver's side and threw the van into drive, ignoring the groaning as she cut the wheel. As they drove down Mormont Lane, Flynn prattled on about how Forks — while mostly lame — had some beautiful hiking trails. Reese didn't bother adding anything to the conversation, but Flynn seemed fine talking to herself with Reese adding in a wow, really or that's so interesting when she thought it was necessary.

Apparently, because the sun was shining — a rare event in the Northwest peninsula — that meant that they had to make the most out of it. Flynn had promised that the Bogachiel Rain Forest River Trail was incredible and that she'd been there on more than one occasion with her brother on his breaks from school, and Reese didn't doubt her but she also wasn't in the mood to be hiking. She was physically and mentally drained from not having slept much the past few nights. Her dreams were filled with chirping beetles and men who she'd never seen before in her life — her father and Emmett Cullen excluded — and it weirded her out. Reese had wanted to bring it up to Elizabeth, but figured that it was probably some depression fueled nightmare and kept her mouth shut.

"So, where're you from?" Flynn asked, glancing over at Reese as she pulled to a stop at the red light. "I'm from Maine. Orono, actually. Did you know that Stephen King lives in Bangor? I've driven past his house before."

"Cool," Reese replied blandly, staring out the window as the green trees blurred together. "I'm from Minnesota."

Flynn's eyebrows pulled together in thought. "You don't sound like it. My aunt lives in Minnesota, she sounds like an off brand Canadian."

Reese almost laughed. "I'm from southern Minnesota and my mom's from Connecticut-" she sucked in a deep breath, feeling her heart clench painfully. "My mom was from Connecticut."

The two girls fell into an stiff silence after that, neither of them having the courage to speak. Reese felt bad, she hadn't meant to make Flynn feel uncomfortable for sparking up a conversation about their old lives pre-Forks; it just so happened that whenever Reese spoke about her parents she clammed up, thus causing the other members of the conversation to do the same. They always felt guilty for reminding her of the family she had lost, not that it took much for the pain in her chest to flare up again.

"I'm sorry," Flynn sighed. "I shouldn't have brought that up, I wasn't thinking."

Reese didn't even bother trying to send her a comforting smile, not having the energy. "It's fine."

"You say that a lot, you know," the blonde haired girl sent Reese a knowing look. "I'm fine."

"Well, I am."

"You're a shit liar," Flynn scoffed.

"I am not lying," Reese snapped, angry that someone could see past the stoic look she kept on her face. "I mean it, I'm fine!"

"Sure," Flynn was purposely pushing her buttons, probably trying to get her to admit that she wasn't okay so that Reese would be able to deal with her feelings instead of forcing them down where they would continue to bottle until she couldn't take it anymore. But Reese didn't ask — nor need — for her commentary on her mental state. "That's why you had a breakdown in the lunch room. I've never seen Emmett Cullen speak with anyone longer than he had to, but he seemed worried about you. And for him to notice, you must have been a mess."

"Just stay out of it!" Reese shouted, spinning around to glare at her. "It's none of your business how I handle my grief!"

"That's the problem!" Flynn bit back. "You're not handling it!"

"You don't even know me, so who are you to say anything!"

"Well, I'm trying to be your friend," Flynn deadpanned, with a roll of her blue eyes. "But you're making that incredibly difficult."

"That's because I don't want friends! I just want to be left alone! Is that too much to ask of you people? To leave me alone?" Her breathing was getting caught in her throat, and Reese felt angry tears burn at her eyes. "Pull over, I want to get out."

"What?" Flynn shot her an incredulous look. "No, we're almost -"

"I said pull over!"

Reese reached to open the door, causing Flynn to curse and swerve into a closed diner parking lot. The eldest Logan struggled to undo her seat belt, and practically jumped out of the car before it even came to a stop. Part of her knew that she was overreacting, but Reese couldn't help it; she just wanted to deal with her problems without it being a group project. She knew that Elizabeth just wanted her to make friends to help her through it, but how could Reese make friends when she couldn't handle them asking where she was from dammit! It was like any mention of her parents sent her tumbling back into the abyss of depression she was trying to climb out of. Reese's parents had been dead for nearly three weeks now and she couldn't even think of her mother's name without wanting bury herself alive.

"Look, I'm sorry," Flynn called, jogging to catch up to Reese's fast pace. "I shouldn't have provoked you. It's just, ugh, I get it-"

"Do you now?" Reese spat back, blinking to keep the tears from falling.

"Yeah, actually, I do." Reese spun around on her heel to stare Flynn down, her arms crossed tightly over her chest as she waited for the girl to explain. "My dad died three years ago. It was a progressive brain tumor."

Reese seized up. "Oh," she immediately felt the guilt surge through her. "I didn't know."

Flynn waved her off. "I don't really talk about it, we weren't that close. He and my mom divorced when I was two, my step dad is more like my real father.

Reese kicked a few pebbles near her feet, not having the strength to face Flynn. Her mind was racing, trying to picture the lively girl in front of her struggling like Reese was. She couldn't imagine Flynn O'Connell crying on the floor of her shower or finding solace in a package of cigarettes. Maybe it was because Flynn still had her mother — and a doting step father — or maybe she was just stronger than Reese Logan ever dreamed of being.

"How-" the words got caught in her throat, Reese struggling to find a way to free them. Flynn watched her patiently, giving the honey blonde girl all the time she needed to untangle her tongue. She kept opening and closing her mouth, struggling to remember how to put letters together to make words. How did you get better, she wants to ask, but asking would mean admitting that she wasn't fine and that she'd been lying. Reese couldn't admit that to anyone yet, much less a girl she'd known for a little over a week. Reese swallowed the plea for someone to save her. "Never mind."

Flynn didn't comment on Reese's inability to ask for help, and instead straightened up with a determined look in her eyes. "You know what?" Reese looked up at her through watery green eyes. "Fuck hiking."

"What?" Reese frowned. "But you wanted to go-"

Flynn waved a hand at her. "My mom suggested it," her blue eyes flashed over to Reese to make sure the shorter girl hadn't seized up the word, and continued when she looked okay. "But I would rather enjoy eating my weight in brownies and pizza. Oh! I forgot! My brother just got the television set up so we can watch a movie or something. How's that sound?"

"What no hair braiding and pillow fights in the schedule?" Reese commented with a roll of her eyes, and Flynn's jaw dropped.

"Did you just made a joke?"

Reese paused, feeling the weight that had seemingly made a permanent home on her shoulder crack a little. She'd made a joke. It had been a while since that had happened — since her parents had died, to be exact. Reese thought over Elizabeth's worry for her and realized that maybe (maybe!) her aunt's reasons for her to socialize had been in the eldest Logan's best interest. Reese was glad that it had been Flynn who was trying to befriend her; the girl was able to relate to the pain Reese was feeling and that, in itself, made it easier for her to trust her.

"I guess so."

"Good," Flynn nodded and urged Reese to follow her back to the minivan. "Because tonight would go terribly if it was left up to me to be the comic relief."

□ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

— THE O'CONNELL HOUSEHOLD WAS a complete one-eighty compared to Elizabeth's up kept abode. Where Elizabeth had an immaculately clean kitchen that perpetually smelled of lemon scented Lysol and never had a crumb to prove that the occupants actually ate, Beverley O'Connell's had a dusting of flour layered on the granite countertop and an assortment of knife marks from not using a cutting board; back on Mormont Lane Reese could count the number of photographs on one hand — three fingers, to be exact —, in Beverley's living room alone Reese spotted over a dozen picture frames depicting Flynn and her sibling's childhood. It reminded Reese of her old home on Sunrise Street.

"It's not much," Flynn spoke, noticing Reese's wandering eyes. "But it's home."

Reese wanted to reply, but her attention locked on the fuzzy, orange tabby sprawled out on the back of the O'Connell's couch. It yawned and stretched, digging its sharp claws into the leather material of the sofa and ignored Flynn's shouts of protest.

"Kevin, no!"

"Kevin?" Reese asked, raising an eyebrow at the name. "You named your cat Kevin?"

Flynn grabbed the cat and clutched him tightly to her chest. "I didn't name him, Maeve did. She thought it was cute."

Reese scratched under his chin affectionately, almost smiling when he began purring. "I used to know a cat that looked like him."

"Was his name Kevin?" Flynn joked, letting the animal jump from her arms and curl up on the soft rug underneath the coffee table.

"No, they called him Garfield."

Reese didn't realize how much she missed the friendly little menace that frequently found his way into the Logan's yard until then. Just seeing the little fur-ball forced unwanted memories to flood into her brain. She felt her throat get tighter as her emotions pushed upward; her eyes burned with unshed tears. Reese felt her breathing become harder and her hands shook: she was going to have a panic attack. She was prepared to run from the house; she wanted nothing more than to flee, to tell Flynn that she was sorry but girl's night would have to wait. Reese had taken one step towards the front door when a soft hand gripped hers tightly, giving her a comforting squeeze.

"It's okay, Reese," Flynn said softly. "You're going to be okay."

Reese clenched her jaw to stop the cries from coming out; she could clearly hear Beverley O'Connell singing to herself as she strolled down the hall, and the green eyed girl didn't want the woman to see her like that. "I just need to go to the bathroom."

Flynn motioned to a pretty oak door near the dining room, and Reese quickly walked towards it. She could feel her stomach churning and just hoped that she didn't get sick, she figured that would make for a terrible first impression. Reese had just reached the bathroom when another hand made a grab for the handle. Reese glanced upwards and found herself staring at Flynn's older brother, Seamus, he sent her a smile and Reese wished that she could return it, but she couldn't.

"You must be Reese," he started, and Reese just wanted to tell him to move so she could break down in peace, but instead she nodded.

"Yeah, and you're Seamus."

"Flynn's been talking about you for days," he then began to mock his little sister. "Finally I'm not the new girl and then there was I'm going to befriend her because the people in this school fucking suck! I guess she finally convinced you to hang out. Poor choice on your part, if you ask me."

"I heard that, dick!" Flynn called from her spot in the living room.

"Watch your mouth, Flynn!" Beverley reprimanded her daughter, and Reese's eyes welled up with tears when she saw the woman come around the corner. Beverley O'Connell was all blonde hair and blue eyes, with delicate features and a warm smile; she reminded Reese of her mom. "Hello, Reese."

"Hi," Reese's words came out in a breath.

"Hope you like steak, because Rufus should be pulling them off the grill as we speak."

Reese nodded, unable to reply. She even sounded like her mother. Reese stepped away from the bathroom, feeling the depressed emotions slide back down into that dark pit that she locked them away in. Reese knew deep down that Beverley O'Connell wasn't her Mallory, but her smile was so familiar. It made the teenager feel like she was back in Plymouth, sitting in her home with the twins and her parents; it made her feel okay, something Reese Logan hadn't felt in three weeks.

"Hope you like well done steak," a voice corrected from the kitchen, the third O'Connell sibling was juggling hot potatoes between oven mitts. "None of us have a long attention span so meat is usually pretty well done around here. I'm Maeve by the way, arguably the best out of the three of us."

"You wish," Flynn scoffed at the same time Seamus answered, "In your dreams."

"It's true!" Maeve argued. 

The three siblings bantered back and forth, each claiming they were the best sibling and trying to get their mother and Reese to side with one of them. The debate ended only when Beverley announced that if anyone was the best O'Connell it was Kevin the cat, who didn't speak. Apparently the three accepted that as a good response and made their way to the dinner table, where Flynn added a sixth plate to the table. Rufus Murphy was standing at the counter placing the cuts of meat onto a large platter, he looked up when Reese walked into the kitchen and sent her a bright smile. "Hey, kid."

They all sat down in their respective spots after putting the bowls on food onto the table, each of them laughing and talking about their days as they loaded their plates with baked potatoes and steak. Reese kept quiet, her green eyes watching them. She felt her posture relax, the tension they'd been holding slowly dissolve, and her lips almost lift upwards. Reese knew that this wasn't her family, these parents didn't belong to her, but it was almost home and that was good enough for her. The blonde chewed on a green bean, and nodded to herself; yeah, good enough.

authors note: hello !!!!! sorry its been a while but i just finished my first year of college and i got home yesterday,,,its been pretty rough for me but i tried to update and stay active !! i plan to update this as much as i can this summer but i will be working a full time and part time job so it might be a little while between updates ! sorry this is kinda shitty but i tried,, and cue the usual shout out to the loml kara !! go read her books bc they're amazing !