𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑;
ONLY PAIN

— REESE LOGAN HAD JUST about had enough of the Forks student body for the day; she pushed through the hoard of students and stalked into the cafeteria, dropping down at a bench in the far corner of the room. The table itself was obviously never used — probably because it was close to the garbage cans, but Reese wasn't bothered by that —, the lack of stains and scratches proof enough of that, and Reese was thankful that she could sit alone. She was tired of people pushing and shoving to sit next to her to pick at her brain; where are you from, why'd you move, where do you live now, what bra size are you, Reese was fucking sick of it.

Her hunger had disappeared after the whole crying in the rain fiasco, so Reese instead chased her tater tots around her plate with a bored expression. She had just about decided she'd rather have nicotine for lunch instead of soggy, questionable grey meat when a tray clatter down across from her, an unfamiliar blonde dropping down onto the bench with a huff. Reese blinked, watching as the girl poured some dressing onto her salad. Reese glared; she put up with the questions about why she would ever move to the rainy province of Washington and dealt with the onslaught of remarks about her puffy eyes, but she drew the line at trying to sit with her at lunch like they were childhood friends or something.

Lauren Mallory had been the first one to join the Logan girl at her table, flipping her silky blonde hair over her shoulder as her soprano voice rang out, ruining the solitude Reese had been enjoying. Following Lauren came her cronies of gossipers, their mouths moving but nothing of importance ever came out. Jessica Stanley had been pestering her for the past fifteen minutes about what she thought of Forks and if she had seen the Cullens yet; the Cullen family was — as far as Reese could tell — her favorite subject, and the girl had already gone ahead and planned a nice spring wedding for her and Edward, or whatever. Reese wasn't interested.

The only tolerable one out of the trio was Angela Weber. Reese was having trouble figuring out just exactly how the quiet girl fit in with the other two; Lauren thought that she was God's gift to the green Earth, and every word that came out of Jessica's mouth sounded like a sheep. Angela wasn't going to be herded by Lauren's bully antics, but she didn't stick up for herself either. It was all very confusing for Reese.

"So," Lauren started, leaning in towards Reese with a cunning look shimmering in her emerald eyes. "Why did you really move here? I heard that you got knocked up and your parents sent you away?"

Reese choked on a tater tot she's been in the process of swallowing. "You heard what?"

"Oh, you didn't hear that?" Lauren pulled a tube of glittery lip balm from her purse, grinning maliciously at Reese. "Well, it's going around the school."

"I didn't hear that," Angela said softly, tucking a strand of chocolate colored tresses behind her ear.

"Well," Jessica piped up, her nasally voice ringing painfully in Reese's ears. "My mother works with Elizabeth Piedmont and she told my mom who told me that your parents, like, died or something."

Reese was struggling for words. She cleared her throat, trying not to break down in front of the girls that were clearly trying to get a reaction out of her, at least Lauren was. Her heart was beating painfully against her chest, and her eyes stung with unshed salt. She felt the beginning of a panic attack begin to take form; her palms were clammy and she could feel the sweat beading on her forehead. Her breath caught in her throat as she tried to come up with a response, but she was saved when a fourth tray hit the table.

"Sup," the girl greeted Reese after she got situated, tying her moonlight hair up into a bun. "I'm Flynn."

"The girl from Pops," Reese recalled, remembering how she had been handling the whole joint practically on her own.

"Yeah, and this is usually the part where you introduce yourself," Flynn told her, munching on another fry. "You know, like, wow Flynn it's so nice to meet you. I'm blah blah. Gosh, are you Irish, because your name is so odd. Something along those lines. Go ahead, try it."

Reese almost (almost ) laughed. "I'm Reese."

"I know, Elizabeth eats at Pops a lot. She told me that you were coming," Flynn smiled at her, and then glowered at Lauren and her followers. "Was Lauren bothering you? She can be a real bitch when she sees someone prettier than her, that's why she's mean to everyone."

Reese let her palms unclench as the spotlight was finally moved off of her, she was grateful for Flynn; had it been a few months — hell, even a few weeks — ago, Reese would have been able to handle Lauren on her own but her parent's deaths was still a fresh wound, and people just kept pouring salt into it.

"Shut up, Flynn," Lauren sneered, turning back to Reese with her lips curled back, unattractively. "So it's true, your parents are dead?"

"God, Lauren," Flynn hissed back, her smile dropping to mimic Lauren's expression. "Just leave her alone."

"I'm just trying to get to the bottom of the new girl's story," Lauren bit back. "So, Reese, did your family burn to death?"

Reese had had enough. She stood up from the table quickly, hauling her bag onto her shoulders and tossed her untouched food in the trash and stormed out of the cafeteria. She didn't care that Lauren had gotten what she'd wanted, Reese couldn't breathe. Her lungs felt like they were sucking in nothing, the air around her disappearing. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and the blonde quickly pushed them away, Reese could feel that ever-growing black hole of emotions begin to swallow her whole.

Reese fumbled around her pocket, clutching the package of Marlboro's and her purple lighter like they were her lifeline — ironically enough — but she's barely made it one foot out the door when Jeep dude came around the corner, unintentionally blocking her exit. His siblings were flanking him, each more beautiful than the next. When he saw her, Emmett smiled and Reese wanted to scream at him to get out of her way. Her blood pressure was rising, and the girl felt like she was about to explode. She sucked in a deep breath, forcing her emotions down to her feet where they continued to fight their way back up.

"Hey," Emmett said, grinning widely at her. "Reese, right?"

Reese controlled her breathing, feeling his sibling's golden eyes on her. She swallowed. "Yeah, and you're Jeep dude."

One of his siblings snickered, and Reese's gaze flickered over to the bronze haired boy — she presumed Edward because he was the only Cullen she didn't see that morning. He was substantially smaller than Emmett was, but was still taller than the average high school boy. God, what do their parents feed them, Reese thought to herself and he stifled a laugh making Reese's eyes narrow.

"You okay," Emmett asked, his smile faltering as he noticed Reese's body language and deep, concentrated breaths.

"Fine," Reese attempted a smile to prove her point but fell short. She pushed a few damp strands of hair out of her face trying to stop her brewing tears from falling. "Look, I just need some air."

By this point, Reese was close to hyperventilating; her words being broken up in odd places. Emmett said something to his siblings that Reese couldn't hear over the sound of her blood pumping, and they gracefully moved around him, sauntering to their table by the windows. One of his sisters — a pretty brunette with pixie-like features and hairstyle — stayed where she was standing, her expression worried.

"Are you alright?" She asked softly, her voice sounding like wind chimes. It reminded Reese of her mother: the smooth way she enunciated her vowels, and how her words were filled with genuine concern.

Like a dam under too much pressure, Reese Logan began to crack. Her bottom lip quivered, and Reese covered her face as she burst into tears. Her cries were — thankfully — covered by the chattering of the students and the clanging of their trays hitting the table. The girl Cullen — who Reese didn't know the name of — sent her brother a pointed look, then sent Reese a warm smile before trailing off into the cafeteria after her siblings. Emmett softly tugged Reese out of the cafeteria and let the door slam closed behind them, they stayed under the overhang to protect them from the rain that was pouring down.

"Reese," his words were calming, but she only cried harder. "Reese, what's wrong?"

"God," she snapped, furiously rubbing at her eyes as she jerked away from him. "Why does everyone care about what's wrong! You don't even know me! Jesus, just leave me alone!"

Reese stalked off into the rain, leaving Emmett Cullen standing under the overhang alone. He watched her, listening as her cries grew in volume and she screamed loudly at a nothing. With a defeated sigh, and lowered shoulders, he pulled the door open feeling the warm air rush up to meet him. His siblings were looking at him with varying expressions, waiting for him to talk when he sat down.

Alice rested a hand on his bulky forearm. "Don't take her words to heart, she's just hurting."

Jasper nodded in agreement, the blonde haired boy speaking softly. "Her emotions were dropping, even I couldn't help her."

"Her parents died," Edward followed, wincing as he remembered the way her depressed thoughts pushed their way into his head. "I don't think she's handling it well."

Emmett sighed, turning to look back out the window easily spotting Reese's small figure perched on a large rock with a cigarette resting between two fingers and a purple lighter gripped tightly in the other hand. He could hear her sobs from where he was; he turned away, not being able to see her that way.

□ □ □ □ □ □ □ □

— REESE LOGAN WAS PERCHED on the couch in her aunt's house; she was curled up in the corner in a pair of Mallory's old sweatpants — that Reese had kept in Paul's car for after lacrosse practice — and a sweatshirt she'd borrowed from Elizabeth's closet. Reese was huddled up under the soft, fleece blanket that doubled as decoration for the back of the sofa as she TV surfed.

She'd given up on the rest of her classes, not having the energy to sit through another lecture. It wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't broken down at lunch if she hadn't shouted at Emmett Cullen for just being a nice guy. Reese felt guilty, which was nice considering it was the only thing other than pain that she'd felt since her parent's untimely deaths. She couldn't face him or anyone after that, so she'd smoked a cigarette to clear her head and then fled. Reese figured the school would call Elizabeth, and they'd just chalk it up to her dealing — well, not dealing — with the whole orphan thing, so she went home.

She's spent a good hour crying into Poppy's soft fur, and the puppy did her best to cheer Reese up, but not even a few licks to the cheek and a cuddle could make the longing in her chest dissipate. So, Reese did what every struggling teenager did, and filled the void with something else; right now it was a bottle of wine she'd borrowed from Elizabeth's liquor cabinet and some shitty soap opera. Personally, Reese wasn't a big fan of Days of Our Lives, but it was easier to watch their problems than to handle her own.

She raised the bottle to her lips again, letting the purple liquid slosh out of the glass and into her mouth. Reese wasn't much of a red wine person, she much preferred white — like Mallory — but she would take what she could get, it was probably the hardest stuff Elizabeth had in the whole house. Reese wished that she'd had real liquor like tequila or something that hit her hard because so far the bottle of wine wasn't making her feel better; a little drunk, sure, but not better.

By the fourth hour of watching the terrible acting provided by a numerous amount of cheesy Hallmark movies and the occasional soap, a yellow bus finally pulled up in front of the house. Reese had long since finished the wine and was feeling the effects as she stood up from her fetal position to greet the young children. Taylor and Annmarie clutched onto her legs tightly the minute she pulled the front door open, and Reese nearly toppled over in her intoxicated state.

"Reesey," Annmarie greeted, pressing her face firmly against Reese's thigh. "I don't want to go to school ever again!"

"Me either!" Taylor cried, his blue eyes shining with tears. "It was 'orrible!"

"What happened?" Reese struggled not to slur, leading the twins over to the couch so she didn't have to stand.

Annmarie sniffled, throwing herself on top of Poppy and began crying into her fur. "Kimmy's mommy came to pick her up, and she asked me where my mommy was."

Reese felt her heart clench, and she stroked her sister's silky hair trying to calm her down. Taylor curled up against her side, using her shirt to soak up his tears. "Mr. M had us draw pictures of our family, and I didn't know if I should draw mommy and daddy, because they're not here."

Reese pulled her young siblings into her chest, letting them cry out all of their emotions like Mallory would have done. Her mother was always great with bringing a smile onto any of her children's faces, and Reese was struggling to be her; which was the worst part because Reese wasn't Mallory Logan. She might have been a spitting image of her, but Reese was her own person and it wasn't fair that she had the role of mother dropped down on her shoulders when she needed someone to brush her hair back and console her too, but Reese had promised her mother that she would take care of the little ones and she'd be damned if she didn't.

It wasn't long before the twins had cried themselves to sleep, curled up on Reese. The teenager let her eyes close too, the wine taking a toll on her. Her dreams started the same as they always did, mostly painful memories of the smiles that Paul and Mallory had shared, how they had showered their children with nothing but love; and then much like the house, each scene was destroyed by a red hot flame burning them up like a photograph. But where Reese would usually wake up coated in a thin layer of sweat, she stayed dreaming; the ominous sound of a beetle clicking echoed around her dreams and images of people Reese had never known before flashed through her mind. Reese woke with a startled gasp as Emmett Cullen's easy smile came into focus.

Her breathing was ragged and her heart was thumping at an accelerated rate, Reese thought she might be sick. The twins were still sleeping soundly on top of her, so Reese sucked in a few mouthfuls of air and tried to sooth her rolling stomach. The sun had long since sunk behind the towering mountains, and the moon tried to break free of the thick clouds that trapped it away from glimmering down on their little town. Reese had no idea what time it was, but she could hear Elizabeth fumbling around in the kitchen so the teenager could only assume that it was past seven.

Reese carefully maneuvered her way out from under Annmarie and Taylor's sleeping bodies, letting them curl up on the soft blankets she'd been using. Reese rubbed at her eyes, cleaning away the sleep that had gathered in the corners and sat down at the table, startling her aunt.

"God, Reese," Elizabeth gasped, pressing a hand to her heart. "You scared the crap out of me!"

"Sorry," the teen grumbled, letting her green eyes find the burnt tray of, well, Reese wasn't quite sure what it was. "What's that?"

"It was dinner," Elizabeth replied meekly, glaring at her stove as if it was at fault. "I was just going to order Chinese and put it in bowls and pretend like I made it."

Reese shrugged. "I won't tell anyone," she scrunched her nose up in disgust as she caught a whiff of her aunt's attempt at cooking. "You should probably never cook again, though."

Elizabeth chuckled softly, tossing the oven mitts on the marble countertop. "You're probably right. I was never good at cooking, I usually just ate at the office. This is the first time I've tried to make anything since college."

"Your intestines are thankful."

Elizabeth mocked Reese quietly and shuffled through a pile of papers before pulling a menu for a local restaurant out from the bottom. She dialed the number and called in the order, pausing to ask her niece what she and the kids ate then let out a relieved sigh after hanging up. "It'll be here in about a half an hour. Do you think they'll still be asleep?"

Reese glanced over her shoulder at her siblings who were snoring in sync. "Yeah, they've had a rough first day."

That seemed to stir a mental note in Elizabeth because the woman exclaimed: "Oh!" It started Reese, jolting the girl about an inch off of her stool. "I meant to ask you about school!"

Reese's mood sunk a little at the thought of Forks High School. She didn't really want to remember any part of her day, considering it consisted of two mental break downs in the rain, but Elizabeth seemed excited to hear about it. "It was great."

"Really?" Her aunt seemed to perk up at that. "Well that's good, I was really nervous that you wouldn't like it. Did you make any friends?"

Reese didn't want to say no, fearing the sad look that would grace Elizabeth's face, so she lied: "Yeah, um, I had lunch with, uh, Flynn O'Connell. The girl from Pops."

"Flynn's a great girl," Elizabeth chimed, her happy mood making Reese's plummet. "I know her mother, Beverley is wonderful."

"Yeah," Reese trailed off, letting her gaze fall onto the table. "Um, Aunt Elizabeth?"

"Hmm?" Elizabeth stared at her, waiting for Reese to speak.

Reese contemplated telling her aunt how terrible she was feeling, that she felt like the ground beneath her was slowly crumbling out from under her, waiting for the struggling teenager to step on the right spot so that it could swallow her up and bury her in a never-ending abyss of sadness and pain; but she didn't. Reese couldn't get the words out. It was as if her tongue had forgotten how to form words and her mouth had been deprived of water for weeks in the desert. Elizabeth's green eyes were filled with a certain kind of happiness that only someone in her predicament could have: someone who thought that they were doing their sister proud by making sure her children were alright. Reese couldn't destroy that for her.

So instead, Reese said: "I really do like Forks."

Elizabeth smiled at her, "I'm glad."

Reese fought the tears that were trying to fall and cleared her throat. "I think I'm going to take a quick shower."

Before her aunt could respond, Reese pushed back her chair and jogged up the steps taking two at a time. When she reached her bedroom, she slammed the door shut feeling the panic attack roll through her body. Much like at school, her lungs were struggling to get any air, acting as if she was sitting in a vacuum. Her neck was slick with sweat and her eyes were having trouble focusing. Reese let out a strangled cry as she quickly stripped out of her clothing, leaving a trail of garments all the way to her bathroom where she practically threw herself into the shower letting the ice cold water beat down on her as she sank to the floor, curling her legs up to her chest; and for the third time in one day, Reese let the sound of falling water hide her cries.

authors note: happy sad boi hours everyone,,welcome to another depressing chapter brought to you by me ))))': sorry if you guys are getting sick of reese crying all the time but home girl just lost her parents like two weeks ago soooo ya know its expected !! but emmett is so sweet and i love him,, also a huge shout out to kara for letting me send her literally everything idk what i would do without her uwu (((: