GUEST STARRING

Robert Pattinson as James Troutman

7th May 1993

Over the last year or so, a lot had changed.

I got a boyfriend, James. We've been together for about five months. A couple of days after me and James got together, Damon and Avery made it official. After continuing to sleep with each other for about a year whilst me and James got back into contact they finally made it official.

Now I have to bury my feelings for Damon deep, deep down so they hopefully wouldn't resurface anytime soon. I've been building a wall in my mind these past months. My feelings for Damon are hidden behind the wall, secure and hidden. Although, my wall crumbles a little at the mention of his name or if I see him drop by at work to see Avery. Sometimes when I listen to his voice over the phone or listen to Leisure my wall cracks.

Me and Damon are still very close friends, we keep in contact and talk on the phone a lot. We still click and there is a certain chemistry between us, but I don't think we'll go any further than just being good friends.

I sigh and place the Guns N Roses album I bought two Septembers ago onto the vinyl player and place the needle onto a random spot on the record. The needle lands on the song 'November Rain'.

I sigh again and begin to reflect on the past three months I've had with James. He's good looking, very good looking indeed, but he just looked so serious and miserable all the time. He couldn't keep friends, he'd ramble on about anything and everything, thinking that you where listening and where interested. He'd talk so fast, get terrible nose bleeds and try too hard. He was just...charmless.

He was a nice guy though, quite aggravating at times but...nice.

Emily and Graham had be seeing each other, they seemed happy. I smile at the thought of Emily and Graham being together. He's good for her, he treats her right. They're still not a couple, Emily wants to take things slow but it's been twenty two damn months.

I begin to sink into the couch and get comfortable, when suddenly the phone rings and I jump in surprise. I groan loudly and get off the couch, storming over to the phone.

I grab the phone forcefully and bring it to my head, "hello?"

"'Ello, Jess," it's Damon.

"Hi, Damon," I say, feeling little pieces of my wall crumble and fall down, just from hearing his voice.

"I haven't seen you in a long time, we should all meet up for a drink or something. I'll bring Avery, you can bring this James fella and Graham can bring Emily," Damon suggests.

"Sure, sounds good, when?" I ask, trying to keep my voice steady.

"I was hoping you could do tonight, at the pub? Sorry it's so short notice but, I want to see you."

More bits of my wall began to crumble and fall away, my feelings for him snaking through the cracks in the wall like the wind, threatening my actions.

"I'll have to see what everyone is doing, but it should be fine," I say, trying so desperately not to let my voice crack or shake.

"Sounds good, see you there, love," he says.

That's when I almost lose it. When he calls me love. A huge crack appears on my wall, threatening to send it tumbling to the ground. I bring a hand to my mouth to stop the small whimper from escaping. My eyes well with tears as I take a deep breath in.

"See you tonight," I manage to say, then hang up.

I then sink to the ground, trying desperately to build up the broken pieces of my wall. I thought I was over him...I'm clearly not. I sit with teary eyes, mending the cracks in my walls by thinking of James and some of the fun times we've had... but those thoughts just make me think of that lovely day out with Damon I had nearly two years ago.

Needless to say, it's been hard for me over this past year, hiding my feelings away isn't what I'm good at.

-

The pub was crowded, but luckily the six of us managed to get a place to sit together. We sat in a circle around a small table and ordered a few drinks then sat and made small talk. Me and Damon kept glancing at each other then quickly looking away once one of us caught the others eye.

I was sat between James and Emily and Damon was sat between Graham and Avery. Emily and Graham held hands under the table and smiled at each other, Avery couldn't keep her hands off Damon and me and James sat frigid and still.

"I'm starving," Graham complained, picking up a menu and flicking through it.

"Really, Graham, pub food?" Damon laughs.

"Pub food is as good as any other," Graham replies, focused on the menu.

Damon rolls his eyes and takes a swig from his pint of beer. He brings it away from his lips and smiles at me. I smile back, trying to mask the fact that he's caused my wall to crumble slightly.

"I'm getting steak," Graham nods and rises from the table and pushes his way through the crowded pub towards the bar.

Emily rolls her eyes and I laugh. Damon shakes his head and chuckles while Avery giggles like a fucking five year old. God, how that woman can make me angry by doing the simplest of things. I turn my attention to James, who looks bored. I frown and take a sip of beer, knowing that he hates pubs because he sees them as places to drink away sadness.

This man doesn't half bring my mood down sometimes.

"So, James, tell me about yourself," Damon says, looking at my boyfriend.

James smiles, "well, I grew up in London, the rather rich parts as my family are very wealthy. I attended a private school and received an excellent education..."

I could see the boredom on Damon's face as James rambled on about private school and how he hates pubs and how big his house is and he even brought up his fucking nosebleeds.

I found myself dosing off myself, though I woke up when he started talking about how he's loved me for all these years. I smile and nod tiredly and look at Damon. I see hurt flash across his face when James starts talking about how happy he is that I'd finally given him a chance.

I suddenly feel guilty because I know I've caused this hurt. Once James has finished sending everyone to sleep, Damon covers the hurt with a smile. That breaks my heart.

"Oh, uh well that was very interesting," Damon says flatly, clearly bored.

"Yes, thank you," James beams.

"Hey guys!" Graham says, returning through the crowd, "I ordered my steak."

We all laugh tiredly and Graham looks at us confused.

"What happened? You all look bored out of your bloody minds!" He laughs.

"I think we're all just a bit tired," I say, yawning.

"Well we're not leaving until I've eaten," he says, returning to his seat.

We all laugh, Graham has clearly brought our moods up. From the corner of my eye, I see Avery glancing at me. I look up at her and smile weakly. Oh, how I hate you, I think to myself, trying to give her a convincing smile. She smiles back, her lips baring her teeth and her smile is wide and sickly-sweet.

Then she turns and looks at Damon, slipping one of her arms around his shoulders and pulling him towards her. She begins to kiss him when he's mid sentence, distracting him from his conversation with Graham.

My blood begins to boil and my chest aches as she deepens their kiss, but she keeps her eyes open, glancing at me with her icy blue orbs. I stare at her, my face clearly full of hate and rage as she climbs onto his lap. I can tell everyone else at the table is uncomfortable.

"Jesus, Avery, you could've waited," Emily scowls, shaking her head.

I continue to stare at her, as if trying to channel all of this anger and hatred into her perfect little head, forcing her to notice how I feel and get the fuck off of Damon.

"Avery, Damon will fuck you once you're home, Jesus Christ," Graham sighs.

Avery breaks their kiss and starts laughing like a maniac, "oh Graham! You're so funny!"

"Shut up," he mutters.

Damon rolls his eyes and puts his arms around his girlfriend. She grins evilly at me and hugs him. My blood boils to a temperature higher than water in a kettle. I want to punch something, smash and break shit, I want to throw the biggest toddler tantrum ever.

I want to leap across the table like an animal at her, pull out her perfect hair and smash in her perfect barbie doll face. I want to scream at her and cry and drench her in beer and tell Damon she's a bitch and she doesn't deserve him.

I want to make a scene.

But instead I pull my chair closer to James's and take his hand and rest my head on his shoulder. Damon notices and sadly glances at me and James, sighing almost inaudibly.

Game on, Avery, I think triumphantly, game on.