I'm at the pub with my friends and I don't know if I'm happy or sad. I explain everything to them, my feelings for John and my feelings for massimo, I don't leave out any details, I tell them exactly how I'm feeling, when I'm done, I take a long swig of my beer
Tania:"girl I think you're in love with massimo"
Sharon:"me too, so what are you going to do?"
I shrug, cos really I don't know what to do and I'm also coming to terms with the fact that I love massimo
Tania:"I think you should tell John, cos if you don't, you both are gonna get heart broken, you can't live a lie Skai"
I groan
A-M:"I can't Tania, he'll be heart broken and I don't want to hurt him"
Tania:"you're going to hurt him even more by leading him on, when your heart belongs to another"
A-M:"Well, shit! Fuck my life"
Sharon:"I know right, it might not sound like the reasonable thing to do, but it's the right thing to do."
I nod and we order more drinks, then we go home afterwards.

I've been facing the ceiling for so long, sleep has eluded me, I can't stop thinking about massimo, he really called off the wedding and therefore put off a business deal for me? This is too much, especially since I realised I love him
I need to read the last tip, I'll probably know what to do then

Tip10: Put Yourself Out There

"It can be incredibly scary to put yourself out there, especially if you’re recently single. But I’m telling you here and now: if you’re not willing to be brave, you may not find a boyfriend as quickly as you’d like.

Creating an online profile on a dating site is scary as hell. But really, what have you got to lose? Even if you only play around with it and never go on dates, you get a feel for the tool and maybe get some good texting experience under your belt.

Walking up to a guy at a party or in a bar takes guts (imagine how we feel!). But you’ll never see him again…unless it works out. So give it a shot.

Giving a guy your number doesn’t mean you have to marry him. If he asks you out, it’s just drinks. Or dinner. Or coffee. Or whatever. You’re not signing your life away.

So just do it. Be brave and allow yourself to try things you never thought you would, all in the name of love."(A/N:gotten from a Google source)

Wow! One thing caught my eye though 'Be brave and allow yourself to try things you never thought you would, all in the name of love. I've got to be brave and tell John what's going on and allow myself try new things in the name of love, cos I'm in love with massimo. But when? My birthday is in, I check the time and it's past midnight, shit, it's my birthday already, well happy birthday to me, yaaay. I don't think it's fair to me and to him to tell him today, right? Who knew having a boyfriend leads to all this complications? I furiously rub my face and manage to get some sleep.

When I wake up, I see a lot of missed calls and texts. I start calling back and replying messages, the love I've received so far is more than enough. I go on my knees and thank God for another year, then I have my shower and prepare for work.

This is the day I've been anticipating all year and it's finally here and all of a sudden I'm not exactly thrilled. I decide on a white pant suit with heels, I let my hair fall they're in their natural wavy state. I wear a little make up to brighten up my face a bit, I wear my earrings and I'm finally ready, I order an uber and after a quiet ride, I'm finally at work.

When I get to my new office, I see a bouquet of roses and a box of chocolates, I check the bouquet for an envelope which is supposed to contain the senders name, but there's none. I smell the roses and they smell really nice, I thank the anonymous sender, there's not even a vendor's name for me to inquire who sent the flowers.
I start my day, I check his schedule, then I make him his coffee, when I drop it on his table he doesn't even look at me, I greet him and he just nods, so I take that as my cue to leave. His first meeting is by 12, so I go to inform him and he leaves for the meeting. The rest of the day goes smooth, I had a surprise call from Chris, he informed me he'll be at me party, we spoke for a while before hanging up.
its finally time for me to leave, so I go to inform him that I'm leaving for home and also invite him for my party
Massimo:"come in"
A-M:"hey, uhm, I'm leaving now"
He stands and walks towards me, when he's about a feet away from me, with his hands in his pocket, I look at him and he's already staring deep into my eyes
Massimo:"Happy birthday Cara mía"
My eyes widen and I blush
A-M:"Thank you"
Massimo:"have a good day Cara"
I nod and turn to leave when he pulls me back and cups my cheeks and kisses me, deep, passionate and rough yet gentle. He pressed me further to himself and I didn't know when I was dry humping him
Massimo:"if you don't stop what you're doing, I'll have to take you right here"
He smirks and I blush
A-M:"what's stopping you?"
His eyes widen from shock, but he quickly hides it. I bite my lip, I hear him groan and before I know it he grabs the back of my knees and lifts me up, I instinctively wrap my legs around his torso and he puts me down on the table, then he takes a step away from me
Massimo:"I want you soo bad! But I can't, till you're solely mine"
A-M:"uh... Uhm yeah, sure... I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."
He places his forefinger on my lips and shakes his head
Massimo:"don't be, and don't get me wrong, I don't regret anything, I'm just willing to wait"
I nod and he helps me get off the table, I don't know if I'm embarrassed or not, but I move swiftly to the door. When I get to the door I remember what I wanted to tell him
A-M:"my friends are throwing me a party this evening, you can come if you're free, it's in The Orchid Hotel"
Massimo:"I'll try"
I nod and leave

Guys do you know that underneath this chapter, there is a star button, and do you know when you click it, it turns orange 😲? Cool right?, you should totally try the magic 😉! 😚😚😚