Chapter 10 step 10

Confidence

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'

Eleanor Roosevelt

Have confidence in everything. No matter what it is that you're doing, know that you can do it better than anyone. O'Shea

Jackson, Jr.

Confidence....

How I wish confidence was a tablet available in the market, one gulp and you are ready to go.

"Ma'am just make her confident like you."

"I want her to be confident, I do not care if she scores like a topper or not."

"He.. he is a nerd, he is introvert, I want him to be confidence. Confidence is very important"

"She is pretty, scores well, even sings well but when it comes to dancing or speaking with others, she is under confident: please develop some confidence in her"

These are the few requests that my clients or the parents of my students do to me when they enroll their children to my grooming classes.

Too bad they do not ask their children if they really feel that they do not have confidence.

I honestly feel that word CONCFIDENCE is given more importance than necessary.

No wonder if you are confident; you perform well, but my dear friend under confidence is not a disease.

In fact there isn't a single person in entire universe who is fully confident.

Experiences speak guys

If you are confident about your singing you might not be equally confident about your dancing or dressing.

If you are completely confident about your dressing then you have confident issues in other fields like academics, politics etc.

I actually suck at politics.

I met this young girl, her poise, her attitude, her ethics, her social circle were all classy, and something anyone would drool for. She is picture perfect when you look at her.

One night when I was staying at her place she came to me.

"You take personality development classes right?" she asked.

I corrected "personality enhancement. Everyone has his individual personality and I do not intend to change it. I just want others to see the best in themselves."

"How are you so good?" were her next words.

"Good me?" I was surprised.

"I actually love your confidence. I want to be confident like you." She said rather admitted her under confidence shyly for she made sure we were alone in the room when she whisper talked to me.

"Excuse me" this was shock to me "You and confidence? I doubt if you need my help in being confident. You are just so you, I like the way you are."

"No but I still don't feel confident. Please help me." She begged.

That was something to learn for me too.

Between did I mention to you guys that she is a successful entrepreneur with a very healthy pay scale.

In fact I have had her clients coming up to me and speaking all good words about her work and personality

Confidence is not a possession; it is a belief.

If you believe you are confident, you are.

What I had session with her for next seven days during my stay there, she happily admitted helped her a lot.

I would share it with you.

But for now I only want you guys to realize that confidence is not a pill that you can pop in your mouth.

It has to be felt within.

And if you aren't feeling confident enough follow following steps

1. Relax

2. Take deep breaths

3. Drink a glass of water

4. Stand in front of the mirror

5. Smile widely, let it be an artificial smile but do smile

6. Stay it to yourself aloud "I am feeling confident. I am confident, I will nail it."

Be it an interview or an exam or a silly friend's party try it and if possible share the experience with me.

Do's

· Always be positive, think positive, speak positive and keep company of positive people.

The positivity will not only energize you but you'll find people are attracted towards you. Trust my words people out there are always subconsciously in search of positive people.

And confidence will gradually follow.

· What do you do when there is loud noise in the neighborhood and you cannot do anything about it?

Shut the doors right.

Exactly when you hear people back biting or gossiping or simply criticizing you, block your ears. Keep their verdict at bay.

We often throw the peel and eat the fruits

This would be your gift to yourself because self-esteem precedes confidence

· Honesty is the best policy; the generation old quote still does wonders.

When we are honest or true, we are always confident.

A tiny example I'd like to share about it.

It was my daughter's interview in a new school for grade one.

I tried to train her basics during our drive from home to school.

She was wearing a blue skirt and pink top and I confirmed the colors with her.

When the teacher asked her the color of her skirt she said pink while it was blue.

Little girl was honest with her words because though accidently she'd picked up that her skirt was pink she insisted with the teacher that the skirt was pink although the teacher pointed a number of times no the skirt is blue and not pink.

The teacher however selected her in the interview her words "I loved her confidence even though she was wrong"

Well my conclusion she was being innocently honest.

· Hard work: Lance Armstrong was once searching for confidence in his bike riding.

After numerous counseling session and tournaments later once before his tournament he'd worked really hard, doubled his practice and training sessions, did extra fitness, quit his social life and concentrated on his preparations for the dig tour de France.

After winning the tournament he quoted 'I was confident because I had really worked hard for the tournament'

* Stay healthy. I repeat Eat, Sleep Breathe and stay fit. A healthy body is a healthy mind and a healthy mind breeds confidence, the vice versa is equally correct.

Don'ts

· Never ever curse or complain. It's like a needle that'll pop your balloon of confidence with a loud burst within fractions of a second.

· Avoid fights or arguments even though you are right when you are going for the thing where you need confidence the most; be it an interview, an exam, meeting with a client or a presentation.

· Do not think about your shortcomings. Remember we all have one. So are the people you are dealing with, you so badly want to impress

· Do not ignore your mistakes. The most confident attitude is to accept them and apologize for them immediately.

· Do not dwell too much on past for its gone, future are would be promises but Present should be lived and enjoyed

· Most important do not care about what others have to say about you.

The moment you admit to yourself "I care a shit" is the moment you have instilled yourself with confidence

My lovelies as I end my non fiction, my experience with grooming kids and teens that I have shared I hope you like it I want you to believe one thing

Confidence is a diamond that you can bejewel your attire with..

But it is not a necessity; the most essential thing is attire and that'd be your pure and honest soul.

And as they say try to be perfect, victories follow

May I add...

Try to be a good and honest individual, confidence will follow:)

A/N: Please share your views on the small box below.

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Good-bye and God Bless

Wish you a happy, comfortable and confident future ahead:)

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