Namjoon hummed cheerfully to himself as he jogged up the concrete stairs to the orphanage, large cardboard boxes in hand. Nothing made him happier than charity, and he'd been giving to this particular institution for almost a year. This month's gift was a few dozen children's books. He hoped that the kids would like them when they returned from school this afternoon.

The boy preferred to do his philanthropy quietly and unnoticed, which was appreciated by the staff, so it surprised him to see a little girl inside the headmaster's office. He gently knocked on the door, "Aecha? Can I come in?"

"Oh, Namjoon! Hello!" The older woman greeted him, looking up from her paperwork, "I forgot you were coming today. What did you bring for us this time?"

"Just some books," Namjoon replied and set the boxes beside her desk, "The money should transfer to you tomorrow. I figured I'd stop by to give these myself though, it's been a while since I've visited." His gaze shifted to the child sitting in a folding chair across from her, "And who is this, if I may ask?"

"This is Nari," Aecha introduced him to her with a warm smile, "She had just arrived here the last time you came. Nari, can you say hello to Namjoon?"

The little girl said nothing, but continued to observe them with curious eyes. She couldn't have been older than 5 or 6. Her hair was cut into a neat bob and little round glasses perched upon her nose. She looked like a picture perfect child...except for the deep purple bruises that dotted her whole body. This little girl had clearly been through a lot.

"Hello, Nari," The boy said softly as he kneeled to her level, "I'm Namjoon. Can you tell me how old you are, darling?"

Nari's dark eyes met his for a second and Namjoon could feel his heart calling out to her. He wanted to scoop her up in his arms and love her, protect her from all the evils in the world, and give her a family. His longing to be a father had never been stronger than in this moment.

The girl cautiously leaned forward in her chair, pointer finger outstretched, until her little hand made contact with the small indent in Namjoon's cheek. He couldn't help but smile even wider as his heart fluttered.

"You like them?" He said with a chuckle, prompting a nod from Nari, "They're called dimples. Look, I have another one on this side too." Namjoon turned his head so that she could see the matching one on his other cheek.

"Dim-ple?" Nari asked softly as she sounded out the word. Her voice was like a whisper in the breeze, so quiet that it was gone in a flash, but the sound lingered in his mind. His heart had been stolen by this little girl and he knew it.

Meanwhile, Nari's curious gaze had moved from Namjoon's face to his hair. "Purple," She spoke, "Purple hair."

"Purple!" The boy repeated excitedly, "Good job! Here, you can touch it if you want. I don't mind." He bent his head down so that she could feel his wavy violet colored locks.

The girl obliged and gently ran her fingers through his hair, a sliver of a smile forming on her thin lips. "Soft. Soft hair."

"Very soft," Namjoon agreed, "Thank you, Nari."

"You can take her to the playroom, if you'd like," Aecha spoke up, "Why don't you read to her? You'd like that, wouldn't you, Nari?"

She managed a small nod, making the boy smile. "Okay, I'll get some books for us," He said cheerfully and rummaged through one of the boxes he brought.

"I think she likes you," The woman whispered to him, "Nari has never opened up like that before. Keep going, you're good for her."

Encouraged by Aecha's words, Namjoon picked out a few picture books and held out his hand to the little girl; who shied away from his gesture at first. "It's okay," He assured her, "I'm not going to hurt you, my darling. Take my hand and we'll go to the playroom to read, okay?"

"Okay." Nari said softly and tentatively accepted his hand. He was so big, but so gentle. Namjoon did everything at her pace and never pushed for more. She didn't even know that people as kind as him existed in this world.

After a short walk down the hallway, the two of them arrived at the brightly colored playroom. Murals of happy kids and flowers covered the walls and the shelves were filled with all kinds of toys. Namjoon led her to a large beanbag cushion and sat down, encouraging Nari to do the same. She complied and cautiously leaned against the boy's shoulder. His touch didn't hurt at all, which surprised her. People like him always hurt. But not Namjoon. He was soft.

As time passed and the pile of unread stories became shorter, Nari inched closer and closer to him; until she finally gave up on the subtlety and crawled into his lap. Namjoon was more than happy to accommodate, of course.

"If you wanted to cuddle you could have just told me, baby girl," He chuckled and held her securely in his arms.

Nari eagerly snuggled into his embrace before looking up at him with big brown eyes that made his heart skip a beat, "Safe." She simply said, "You safe."

"That's right, safe," Namjoon agreed with a loving smile, "You're safe with me, Nari. I'll never let anyone hurt you ever again." While tenderly clearing the hair away from her face, the boy ran his thumb over a particularly nasty looking bruise under her left eye, but quickly regretted his actions when she winced in pain without saying a word, "Sorry, I'm sorry, baby," He immediately apologized, "I wish I could kiss it better for you. I wish you didn't have to hurt."

"It okay." The girl replied and laid her head against his broad chest.

But that's the thing, it's not okay, Namjoon thought as he pulled her closer, determined to give her broken body all his love, It's not okay that someone hurt you. It's not okay that all you've ever known is pain. What went so terribly wrong that gave you no choice but to live that kind of life? Where were the adults that were supposed to protect you? He lovingly kissed the top of her head, You feel so comfortable in my arms, like I could hold you forever. Nari, how am I supposed to leave you after today?

"Hey, I hope all is good in here," A knock sounded at the door and Aecha stepped in, "I just wanted to check on you two," She held up a small polaroid camera, "I found this a little while ago, Namjoon, and I thought that you might want a picture before you leave today."

The boy nodded, "That's a great idea. What do you think, darling? Is it okay if Aecha takes a picture of us?"

"Yeah." Nari hesitantly agreed.

Namjoon playfully poked her cheek, "Give a big smile, okay?"

Aecha couldn't help but smile herself as she held up the camera. She'd never seen Nari this close to anyone before, and Namjoon was so gentle with her. They were a perfect match. "Alright, are you ready?" She asked, "One, two, three!"

The camera flashed and the woman glanced at her watch before taking the still developing photograph, "The rest of the kids will be coming back from school in about half an hour. You should probably head out soon." As soon as the words slipped off of her tongue, Nari's eyes widened in a state of panic and she clung closer to the boy's shirt. Noticing this, Aecha spoke softly before closing the door behind her, "I'll let you two say goodbye. Come see me before you leave, Namjoon."

"No goodbye!" The girl declared and quickly turned around to face the boy with tears brimming in her eyes, "No leave. No."

"I'm sorry, baby," Namjoon apologized, his heart breaking with every word, "We'll have to say goodbye for a little. I'll be back soon-"

"No!" Nari exclaimed with more force than he had known was possible from her small body, "No leave!" She buried her head in his chest and began to sob.

Instantly, Namjoon's brain panicked and he rocked her back and forth as he tried to come up with a solution, "Don't cry, Nari, please don't cry," He whispered and held the child tightly in his embrace, "Here, I'll stay, but just for a little. We don't have to say goodbye, okay? I'll even sing to you to make it better. Would you like that, darling?"

Nari nodded slowly but didn't release her grip on his shirt for a second. Her sobs lessened until they were just sniffles as she calmed down.

"Okay, good," The boy took a deep breath, "Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens, bright copper kettles and warm woolen mittens, brown paper packages tied up with strings: these are a few of my favorite things..."

As Namjoon continued to sing all the lullabies he knew, Nari's eyes slowly closed and her breath deepened until she fell asleep in his arms. A few stray tears dripped off of her rosy cheeks and on to the floor. Noticing that her hold on his clothes had loosened, he gently nudged the little girl's shoulder.

"Hm? Did you fall asleep, baby?" Recieving no response, Namjoon just smiled and kissed her head, "I guess I tired you out, huh? That's okay. I'll put you to bed."

Making sure to support her legs as he picked her up, he carried Nari piggyback style to the headmaster's office. "Aecha. Where's her room?" He whispered.

"Second floor, last door down the hallway," The woman answered and her face melted into a smile when she saw them, "Thank you for taking care of her. She really needs someone like you."

Namjoon hummed softly as he carefully made his way up the stairs. The girl slept soundly with her breath tickling his ear until they arrived at the specified room. He nudged the door open to reveal five identical beds with a whiteboard above each of them. The boy gently set his small companion on the twin sized mattress below her nameplate, making sure to tuck Nari in tightly and pull the thin blanket all the way up to her chin. Letting out a deep breath, he kneeled beside the bed and held her hand for a few minutes. Now it was time to say goodbye.

I'll come back for you, Namjoon silently promised, I'm sorry that I can't take you today. With the way things are now, I won't be able to give you the time that you deserve. You'll need to grow up just a little bit before I can take you home.

"But when you do come home, I swear that I'll never leave you," He whispered, "I was meant to be a dad and you were meant to be my daughter. Please forgive me for saying goodbye." The boy placed one last kiss on her head before standing up, "I'll take care of you, darling. All you have to do is wait for me. I love you, Nari."

Namjoon walked down the flight of stairs feeling emptier than ever before. He wished more anything that he could take the little girl he was forced to leave behind.

I made the right decision, He assured himself, I can't take her now, it wouldn't be fair. She needs more time and so do I. These next few years will be long for the both of us....but it'll be worth it.

"Was it a hard goodbye?" Aecha asked sympathetically when Namjoon entered her office once again.

"Yeah, it was," The purple haired boy sighed, "Hey, Aecha? Do you think that Nari will get adopted?"

The woman shook her head sadly, "I hate to say it, but probably not. Nari came to us without any identification, and you know how important family is here, there aren't many people who want to adopt a child they know nothing about. The lack of paperwork also makes her ineligible for international adoptions," Her voice softened, "Besides, she's getting a little old. People who adopt want babies that they can raise from the very beginning, not older children who come with trauma and emotional baggage. I'm afraid that Nari is stuck here until she turns 18."

"I want to adopt her," Namjoon said quickly, "But I can't until she's a bit older. Things need to become a little more stable with my job and I need to do some more research on parenting. It wouldn't feel right to take her when I'm not ready."

"I completely understand," Aecha replied, "Take your time. I know that you want what's best for her." She pressed a small polaroid picture into his palm, "You will be a great father, Namjoon. Nari belongs with you."

The boy adamantly pushed back the tears in his eyes as he stared longingly at the photograph. Nari's gentle smile touched the deepest corners of his heart. He looked up to the woman in front of him, "I'm sorry, I don't think I can visit for a while. The next time I come, I know that I won't be able to leave without her. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, don't worry," She assured him, "You've already showed us more than enough kindness. Call me when you're ready, okay?"

"Thank you so much," Namjoon bowed respectfully, "I want to keep donating too, of course, and I'll cover anything that Nari needs."

Aecha smiled, "We appreciate everything that you do. Nari will be waiting for you, and I can't wait to see the kind of person she grows up to be."

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hey guys! so for you returning readers, you might have noticed that things are a little different for the beginning of this story. as of 8/12/20, i did a complete rewrite of part one and i really hope that you guys like this new start as much as the original. i think that nari's voice is so much stronger and her connection to the boys feel so much more real. pls let me know what u think!

if you don't know me already, hi! my pronouns are they/them and im the author of this fic :) my bias is namjoon and my bias wreckers are taehyung, hobi, and suga! pls tell me your bias in the comments!