My head is in my palms and I'm on the floor. What is happening? What is this? What am I gonna do now? I lift up my head and wipe my face from the back of my hands.

My whole room seems a mess. Why do I live in mess? This room is a mess. My thinkings are a mess. My feelings, my emotions, my thoughts are a mess. This world is a mess. Its people are a mess. I....am a mess.

Why good things happen to bad people? Why bad things happen to good people? Why people get what they don't deserve. Why am I getting what I don't deserve?  I get up from the floor and sit on the edge of my bed weakly.

My parents are asking me to marry a man of their choice. But why. Why would I like to marry a stranger. Why would I sacrifice my whole life for their choice. What if he turns out to be bad. What if he.... what should I say? Yes? No?

I lie on my bed with thump and my hair spreads on the peach colored sheets. There are two ways. To marry a man whom I don't know. Or to marry a man whom I know very well. I close my eyes, sighing, not wanting to pour out my tears again and  the battle starts - the conflict...

Heart: "Say no. You don't deserve this. Your life is yours. Your parents can't interfere in it.

Brain: "You should listen to them. They want you to life happily in your life with that stranger. Not to live in hell with that person you like."

Heart: "Whether they want you to live happily or not, why are they even interfering in your personal matters."

Brain: "They know better. They know what to do and what not to do. They love you more than you think."

Heart:  "Hah, what what-to-do and what-not-to-do? They could not even manage to live in their lives peacefully. Every moment they were fighting. Their lives were miserable then how do they know what happiness is. How are they sure that their choice is good."

Brain: That's why. Every morning, every night they were fighting. You always found them shouting and screaming at each other. You always found them hating each other. Their lives were pitiful and they don't want to make you live like them. They want your life to be good as heaven. They told you how to walk, how to talk, how to eat, how to sleep, how to study and even how to make friends. They are with you since your birth. They sacrificed their time with you when you were sick. They spent their days with you whenever you had any game. They spent their nights with you when you wanted to watch a movie.They spent their money, their love, their time on you and you can't even pay back them a little. Remember the time when you had got you first honor in school. They cancelled their trip to Italy for your happiness. Just remember."

I get up from the bed quickly and pick up my phone. First the person's pictures whom I love is gonna get deleted so that I don't miss him and then I'll call my parents to tell that I'm coming home. To make them happy just like they made me happy in my childhood. To tell them that I love them and..... I WILL MARRY HIM.

******

So, how was my presentation of thoughts of a girl when she's forced to marry a stranger? (I'm only fourteen years old, guys). Well... for those girls who love their parents very much.