The rest of the month practically flew by.

Every single tenant had paid that month's rent in full, and all of their receipts had been stamped on the same day, a feat I would have considered impossible any normal month. There were no extension requests, no excuses, none of the issues that usually came up around the time money was collected. Understandable, given that they were being charged a mere fraction of what they'd paid me the previous month.

Additionally, word of my ridiculous rent policy had spread like a brush fire. In just two days it had been reported to me that every single building in my territory now had tenants, and that there was now a waiting list of several hundred shopkeepers who wanted in. I'd expected as much.

As a result of this influx of people, a good chunk of my time was spent handing out dozens of Tucat merchant seals to stutteringly grateful new tenants. In many cases, just showing my face in certain neighborhoods was cause for spontaneous celebration, and I was practically assaulted by heartfelt thanks and other outpourings of good will.

Considering how I was usually regarded, it wasn't exactly difficult for me to enjoy. It was more or less what I'd expected for that month.

Several unexpected things happened that month as well.

For example, and to my tremendous surprise, every outstanding tenant debt I held was settled. This without any sort of encouragement on my part.

Overdue payments and tribute extensions were paid, debt markers were handed in, and everyone was caught up for the first time in the history of my territory. All loans, some of which I'd held for nearly three years (and even a few that I'd privately written off as uncollectable), were paid in full.

I developed a few theories regarding why this happened, of course, because paranoid Thief-Lords like me usually make a point of finding out why things happen the way they do.

The first theory was simple - some tenants were honestly having a difficult time making ends meet, and this was simply the first opportunity they'd had to pay me back. On the other hand, some others probably suspected that this whole rent fiasco was part of an elaborate setup, and that I was seeking recompense for some long-forgotten swindle or slight they'd given me. Paying their outstanding debt was a precautionary gesture, I figured, one that they hoped might lessen any embarrassing retribution I was planning to send their way.

Of course, they had nothing to fear - no retribution would be forthcoming. Still, if people actually wanted to eliminate their debts to me, I wasn't going to turn them away. It meant more money in my pocket, and less work maintaining the books in the long run.

Privately, I began to wonder if I should do this sort of thing one month out of every year. Lost income aside, it certainly had its advantages.

Another rather unexpected tenant development was both amusing and troubling - not a single shopkeeper reported any sort of robbery to me or my knights for the entire month.

This wasn't because no robberies were taking place, either. I had personal knowledge of at least three robberies on my territory that had happened around the middle of the month. First-hand knowledge, in fact.

See, after two full weeks passed without a single claim being filed, I decided that a test was in order. Late one night I stole items worth at least twenty gold from three different shops in three different areas of my territory, making certain that each stolen object had been clearly marked with a Tucat merchant seal, which resulted in two glowing cats becoming visible when the object was illuminated by the blue light from a greyberry candle. Then, once that was done, I sat back and waited to see what happened.

I didn't hear a peep from anybody.

This probably meant that they were afraid to come to me with their reports of missing merchandise, despite the fact that it was my responsibility to reimburse or replace marked items, being their Lord and all. It could be they didn't believe that their meager rent entitled them to the same amount of protection they'd been enjoying up to that point, and so they didn't wish to trouble me. That, or it could also be that they were secretly afraid that I'd stolen from them to make up for that month's lost tribute. Neither was true, of course.

And so, having little else to do, I spent my days talking to the fences in my area, tracking down a good number of legitimately stolen items that had been recovered or turned in, and returning them to their proper owners, unasked. Most shopkeepers seemed more baffled by that than when I'd lowered their rent.

I also spent my days courting Talia, or at least attempting to. I believe I've already mentioned how well that had been going once or twice. Still, romantic awkwardness aside, she was terrific company. The days went by far too quickly.

Eventually, the first of the month arrived. It was a very important day. Many, many things would be happening this day.

Like every other month, one of the city's excise officers came to Tucat Keep first thing in the morning in a large, stately coach in order to pick up the Prince's portion of my monthly tribute. We greeted each other, I handed him the sealed folder of receipts, he allowed my knights to load two leather coin satchels into the coach, we shook hands, and he was on his way.

I'd elected to exchange all of the grey for copper, just so that the sacks would be weighty enough to suggest that nothing out of the ordinary was going on. I had things to do this particular day, and handing over a nearly empty coin satchel to the excise officer would have raised too many alarms, or perhaps forced things to happen a little quicker than I'd wanted.

Once that was done, I headed back and found Talia waiting for me just outside the main gate, a covered basket in hand. She gave me an uncertain look.

"You're sure you don't need me, Milord?"

"Talia," I warned, gently.

"Vincent," she corrected, smiling slightly. "I know things are sort of slow, but it's the first of the month, and that usually-"

"Even you are entitled to a day off every now and again, Talia. Stop worrying. I'm sure Janna will be able to handle things while you're at the market."

"I know, I just . . ." She shrugged a tiny bit. Gods, I love her shrugs, stupid as that may sound.

"Everything will be fine. Enjoy yourself. I want you relaxed and well rested for our dinner engagement tonight. Oh, and I'll be sending someone to check up on how you're doing while you're at market, so don't be alarmed if you're unexpectedly greeted by someone you don't know."

She looked a little surprised by that. "You think I need protection?"

"You? Gods, no! I've experienced your left hook first-hand, if you'll recall." I smiled innocently. "He'll just be making sure you don't need anything while you're out and about, that's all."

"Uh-huh," she said, her tone skeptical. "This isn't going to be another one of those 'spy on me while I shop at the market so you can buy me the things I tried on' situations, is it?"

"My dear, I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about," I smiled. Then I stood up straight, giving her a slight bow from the waist. "Enjoy your afternoon. We'll meet you back here around, say, four bells?"

She gave me a wistful look and a demure nod, looked uncomfortable a moment, and then headed out into the street.

I didn't know when the 'kiss on the cheek' phase of the relationship was supposed to happen, but we obviously weren't quite there yet.

I took it in stride, like I had the dozens of other times before. I'm a really, really patient guy. One time, I actually spent eleven hours sitting inside of a medium-sized wooden crate in a warehouse, in the dark, with nothing to do but keep an ear open for the sound of a limping guard, who-

Well, that's a rather involved story, actually. Some other time.

I watched Talia walk down the street a ways, and when I judged her far enough away I waved to a nearby knight who was standing guard beside the main gate. He nodded, disappeared, and then returned a moment later with a short, aproned man in tow. Both of them hurried over.

"Okay," I said, pointing my silver-handled cane down the street at Talia's retreating form. "That's her. I'll be sending my knight, Errol, with you. He's familiar with her, so there shouldn't be any confusion regarding who you're following. Now, you're clear about what you're to do?"

"Mostly, Milord. I just . . . this is so strange." The street vendor ran his fingers through his thinning black hair. "I've never done anything like this before."

"Well, I certainly hope not! It can't exactly be a unique gesture of affection if it's been done before. Any questions though?"

"One, Milord. Uh . . . I've tried to load my cart with everything that a young woman might want while shopping at a market. Sandwiches, teas, iced fruit, wine, everything I could think of. What if she wants something that I don't have, and-"

"Listen to me. You will be reimbursed for everything. Your only job is to follow her around and ensure that she wants for nothing this afternoon! You be sure to let her know that, once you catch up. Use those exact words. If she wants tea, you get her tea. If she wants a tea you don't have, you find that tea, buy it, and give it to her. If she has a friend who wants some iced fruit, then you give her friend iced fruit. If her friend's friend wants truffles, you ask how many. If you have to leave your cart in a dangerous part of town in order to buy fourteen meat pies because she's idly wondering how many she can stack on the back of a horse before they tip over, then you leave your cart and you buy her fourteen meat pies. Is that understood?"

"Yes, Milord," he said, still sounding unsure of himself.

"Now, if you find you need gold, you have but to let Errol here know how much, and he'll arrange it. Mark down everything you give her - you'll be paid your regular prices for each item. If she asks for something you don't have, buy it, make a note of how much it cost you and charge me one tenth on top of that for your trouble."

The street vendor gulped, then nodded.

I leaned on my cane, waiting. We both stood there for a few seconds.

"Well?" I asked.

"Right!" he said, voice cracking slightly. He turned and sprinted toward his nearby cart, which was parked on the street in front of my keep.

"You've got to stop doing stuff like this, Milord," Errol chuckled a moment later. "I tell my wife, and she accuses me of not being romantic enough. This sort of thing sets a dangerous precedent for the rest of us."

"Errol," I said, trying to sound hurt, "I had no idea I was making your life so difficult. Tell you what - when this is all done and you've tallied the total damage, add ten gold for yourself. Buy your wife a few hundred roses."

He grinned, nodded, and ran after the street vendor, who was already hurriedly pushing his cart in the direction Talia had gone. I watched them both go up the street, allowing myself a bit of a smile.

I had a feeling I knew what was going to happen as a result of this little gesture of mine, but I'd just have to wait and see. In the meantime, I had a few tenants to visit.

Grabbing a nearby sack that contained some of the burgled items I'd be returning that day, I headed to the main stable-yard, met up with Taryll, got into my carriage, and we were off.

The rest of the morning was mostly straightforward business stuff. Over the course of several hours I returned several possessions to their rightful owners, most of whom appeared surprised to see me. I chatted with them for a bit, assured some of them once more that their new rent was no trick, reminded them not to be tardy paying for this month, and generally just soaked up some of the attention and goodwill.

Once that had all been taken care of, I got back in my carriage and had Taryll drive me halfway across town. We stopped at a small, pleasant-looking shop with a picture of an open book and pair of spectacles displayed out front.

I walked through the doorway and up to the counter. A bespectacled face, one I'd become familiar with lately, looked up as my cane thumped against his shop floor. He smiled.

"My Lord," the shopkeeper said, bowing from the neck. "Good to see you again. I had a feeling I'd be seeing you today. Have you considered-"

"One hundred and forty gold," I interrupted, waving for him to be silent. "It's criminal, and I guess I can sort of respect that, but my patience has limits. Now, that price easily seven times what it's worth, and that's all I'm willing to part with in order to get it. So, one-forty, and not a single copper more. Take it or leave it."

The shopkeeper smiled and took off his small-lensed glasses, considering me for a long moment. Then he nodded.

"It is of enormous sentimental value to me, but I do suppose I could part with it for one-forty, Lord Tucat," he smiled, already reaching under the counter. The shopkeeper's hands reappeared a moment later holding a brown paper-bound parcel that had been tied with string.

Sentimental value, my ass. It had been sitting in a corner of his shop, gathering dust, and I'd been a little too slow when it came to hiding my excitement once I'd spied it a couple of weeks ago.

Putting my cane on the counter, I got out my coin purse, counted out fourteen ten-gold marks and placed them in a stack upon the counter. I watched him use his merchant seal to magically remove his Lord's mark from the bundle, and once he'd finished I took the package from the table and tucked it away under my half-cloak.

"You're a devil of a negotiator, my Lord," the shopkeeper chuckled, sweeping his newly acquired wealth from the counter and into his own money purse.

"And you're very lucky you decided to take me up on one-forty," I said, retrieving my cane from his countertop and smiling back at him. "I know you're a tenant of Lord Wrenfarrow and are under his protection and all, but I swear, if I'd left empty-handed today, I would have risked a territory war with your Lord just to come back in the dead of night and steal this bloody thing from you, marked property or no!"

He laughed at that, and I laughed as well.

"No, really," I said, still smiling fiercely, "I would have." I gave him a quick nod. "Good day."

His face seemed like it was stuck between a laugh and something else as he watched me leave his shop.

Once I was back in my carriage and heading home, I opened the parcel and inspected its contents. The thing was in immaculate shape, and the fellow had done an excellent job of restoring it to its former glory once he realized how valuable it likely was. Still, charging one-forty for it was pure avarice.

Grunting, I reached into a pocket and pulled out the fellow's silver counter-top bell, along with his pair of spectacles that I'd managed to swipe. Neither was worth much, but stealing them from the greedy shopkeeper made me feel a tiny bit better about the gold I'd just parted with.

It was almost noon by the time I arrived back at Tucat Keep. A pudgy, greasy-looking man wearing a black and purple uniform, one that bore the Haraelian coat of arms, was waiting for me in my sitting room.

"My Lord," he said officiously, rising from the stone bench he'd been sitting on, "I'm from the Excise and Tributary office. If I may have a moment of-"

"Sorry, can't talk right now," I said, breezing past him and into my greeting hall. "Bit of an emergency! I'll be with you in a jiffy!"

He stopped, nonplussed, like he was stuck mid-gesture. His mouth was half-open, and his expression made it clear he hadn't been expecting that sort of reaction.

Leaving the fellow standing at the main entrance, I tucked my newest purchase away somewhere safe and quickly headed downstairs to my exercise hall. Theo was there in full practice gear, ready for our weekly fencing session.

"Seen Connor yet?" I asked.

Theo shook his head.

"He can't sulk forever. Still, it's been a whole month. I was hoping he'd have made an appearance by now."

"He's a teenager, Vince. They're not happy unless they're brooding about something. Did the tax guy show up yet?"

"Yup. Important looking Crown Tribute officer waiting upstairs as we speak."

"Well, how long are you going to keep him waiting?"

"Oh, a couple of hours should be good."

He chuckled, shaking his head a little.

We sparred back and forth, talking a little between passes. I told him about the package I'd picked up for Talia, and filled him in on how everything else had been shaping up. He in turn told me a little more about the sorts of things that were going on from his perspective, and some of the things he'd heard around town.

As I'd figured, lowering my monthly tribute had prompted some of the other Lords about town to become angry with me. My territory was now filled to brimming with brand new tenants, all of whom had left their previous Lord's territory in order to move to mine. For those other Lords, the loss of income was probably substantial.

Those tenants who hadn't been quick enough to move to my territory were also now complaining to their Lords about the rent they were required to pay, citing my own rent policy as an example. Most were demanding some similar arrangement, as though they were entitled to it.

Theo had a good relationship with his tenants, so his problems were manageable. Some of the other Lords were not quite on such good terms with theirs, and it was becoming a real headache for them. In fact, many of these Lords had already gone so far as to complain to Tenarreau. Others were talking loudly at court about the possibility of something unfortunate happening to me.

That seemed to be the norm, this past year.

After a couple of hours of fencing, Theo and I said our goodbyes and I went back upstairs to change. Once that was finished, I checked some of my couriered messages from that morning. One was a letter from Cyrus, which I opened right away. It was short and to the point.

Have arrived in Farvati. The weather here really sucks. Almost missed my boat, but should be in Vereet in a couple of weeks. - Cyrus

Grunting, I folded the letter and tucked it away in my vest pocket.

I was heading downstairs when I was stopped in the hallway by a very distressed-looking Janna, who informed me that my visitor from the Excise and Tributary office had become very agitated, and was demanding to see me at once.

I asked her to find him, apologize on my behalf for the delay, escort him to the main banquet hall, and assure him that I'd be with him in just a few moments. I also told her that once she'd finished that task she could take the rest of the afternoon off, since her encounter with the excise officer had sounded so stressful. She nodded and hurriedly went to the front entrance, presumably to escort my visitor to the banquet hall.

About fifteen minutes later, I wandered over to the banquet hall myself. The pudgy official had seated himself at the head of my dining table, in the chair I usually occupied, and was busy arranging pieces of paper into small groups in front of him.

"So sorry to keep you waiting," I apologized, poking my head in from the hallway, "but I've just got one quick thing to take care of, and I'll be right with you. I'll fetch us some refreshments."

He appeared to be about to say something, but I zipped back into the hallway before he had a chance to reply. From there, I headed over to the kitchen, and informed Mosond that he and his staff were to prepare an assortment of refreshments and bring them out to the banquet hall, after which he and the kitchen staff could all have the rest of the day off.

That done, I put on a cloak, left my keep, and headed over to Pavlo's restaurant for a spot of lunch.

After a couple of leisurely hours of spent enjoying a few glasses of wine, along with a healthy serving of Pavlo's redfish fumet with dill-and-lemon scones, I slowly began making my way back to my keep. As luck would have it, I ran into Errol and the street vendor a few blocks from my keep, both of whom were returning from following Talia at the market. The street vendor was looking extremely nervous.

He informed me that, though Talia had returned from the market some time ago, he and my knight had been forced to remain behind for an additional half-hour to settle accounts with some of the shopkeepers they'd been forced to purchase various things from. The vendor had insisted that my knight be right there with him, figuring out amounts and double-checking his math, perhaps to make sure I'd have no call to look at his figures and call them preposterous.

I checked out the final total. It came to just over a hundred and twenty gold, not including the ten for Errol and what I owed the vendor himself. I took a quick look at the list of things hat had been purchased. A smile found its way to my face.

"Excellent," I beamed, taking the small slip of paper from the street vendor, opening my purse and paying him the remainder of what he was owed. "Thank you for taking care of this for me - I'm sure you did a wonderful job. If I require something similar in the future, can I count on you to be available?"

He nodded dumbly, bowed low, and then hurried away with his empty cart. The fellow had likely made more in a single day than he usually made in a month. I had no doubt he'd leap at an opportunity like this again, should one come to pass.

That taken care of, Errol and I continued on to Tucat Keep, idly discussing Talia's trip to the market and what she'd ended up doing. The details made my smile even bigger.

Once we arrived at the keep, I sent Errol inside to check on the disposition of the excise officer I'd left in the banquet hall. The expression on his face once he reappeared told me everything I needed to know. I gave him his ten gold, as well as the rest of the day off, and then skulked around my property to the garden entrance instead of going through the front doors.

Even from the back entrance I could hear the fellow barking orders near the greeting room, loudly demanding to speak with me immediately, and using the occasional important-sounding phrase, like 'authority of the Crown', and 'tribute avoidance'.

I sneaked upstairs, and ended up running into Talia in the second-floor hallway.

"Milord," she said, looking as though she were steeling herself for some unpleasant task, "I'm afraid I might have gone and done something-"

"Talia, do you still have the day off?"

"Yes Mil- . . . uh, Vincent. Yes. Sorry," she apologized. "And this isn't exactly related to work, it's just that this afternoon, when I was out-"

"Would we be able to discuss this tonight?" I asked, looking down the hallway behind me, where most of the yelling was still coming from. "There's a few things going on right now."

"I can, Milor- . . . Vincent." She closed her eyes, frowned for a second, and took a quick breath. "It's just that I-"

"Say, you seem a bit nervous. You weren't snooping around that room I told you to stay out of, were you?"

"I . . . what? No . . . no, I haven't, but there's-"

"Dear gods, that fellow's voice carries well, doesn't it? Tell you what - let's meet by the front gate at four bells instead of the foyer, so we don't start our evening off with the sound of yelling and carrying on."

She frowned prettily. "Who is that, anyway?"

"Nobody of import. So, four bells? I'll have the carriage meet you outside around then. I promise that once we're out and about you can tell me about whatever it is that has you looking so pensive, without interruption. Oh, and if some loud, pudgy fellow tries to corner you as you're leaving, you haven't seen me all day. Sound good?"

"It . . . uh, I-" she stammered.

"Excellent! See you at four," I said, lifting her hand for a quick kiss and then stealing away down the hallway and to my bedroom before she had a chance to say anything further.

It wasn't hard to figure it out - she wanted to talk about the situation with the street vendor and what her market exploits had ended up costing me, maybe explain what she'd done and why. I already had a pretty good idea, but part of my fun would be seeing how long I could avoid this topic, letting her stew in anxiousness for a while.

Sometimes I can be so mean . . .

Once in my bedroom I changed into the very special set of clothes I'd picked out for this particular evening - heavy undershirt, a padded lace-up top made from a white and silver-studded brocade-like material, black leggings with a crease so sharp it could probably cut paper, my silver-handled walking cane, and a heavy black and silver full-cloak with the Tucat crest on the front. It was a little bit cooler outside than it had been earlier in the month, which was ideal considering how heavy these specially tailored garments were. I looked natural enough in them, but just wearing them it felt like I suddenly weighed an extra fifty pounds.

A little before four bells, two of my knights appeared outside of my bedroom, apologized for the intrusion, and informed me that Crown Knights had been summoned to Tucat Keep and were waiting with the excise officer downstairs. The official had charged both of my knights with finding me and informing me that I was to meet with him and the Crown Knights immediately to discuss some tribute irregularities.

I told them to return to the excise officer and acknowledge that I had received the message, at which point both of them could have the rest of the evening off. I also let them know to pass word to their fellow knights and any other staff that remained at Tucat Keep, with the exception of the guards outside my vault, that they were all similarly excused from work for the remainder of the evening. They seemed surprised at that, but nodded, and left.

The second-floor window on the East side of my keep isn't the easiest to climb out of, but it did have the advantage of being hidden from anyone who might be standing guard at the rear exit. I climbed down carefully, hopped over a few walls to the stables, found Tarryl and let him know that he was to lead his carriage out front to pick up Talia, and then pick me up shortly afterward at a tea shop a little ways down the street. He nodded, and got about it.

From there I simply had to make my way to the tea shop, which only took me a few minutes of walking. Five minutes or so later, I was stepping into Tarryl's waiting carriage, holding two tall cylindrical glasses that were half-full of tea.

Talia was sitting on the padded bench, and was giving me a very uncertain look.

"Hello, my dear," I said, giving her a quick bow from the waist before sitting down in the seat across from her. "You're looking wonderful this evening. Would you care for some yellow treacle tea?"

"Are you aware that there are at least a half-dozen Crown Knights currently asking after you at your keep?" she asked, accepting the proffered glass with a nod. "Not to mention the Vice-Treasurer himself."

"Really? That's odd," I said, taking a small sip from my own glass. "I wonder what they could want."

"Well, they mentioned 'tribute evasion' a few times, so I'm assuming it has something to do with that." She gave me a funny look. "This is how you're going to get under Tenarreau's skin? Withholding tribute money?"

"What?!" I did my best to look indignant. "I resent the implication! Why, I've never been so much as late when it comes to paying tribute."

"Until now?" She arched one eyebrow at me.

"I assure you my dear, this is all just a big misunderstanding. But come - let's not discuss work-related matters right now. Have you ever been to one of Glasshammer's plays before? I've heard that for some of them he encourages his actors to make up their lines on stage."

It wasn't long before Talia and I were having a light-hearted debate on the origins of improvisational theatre, which lasted right up to the point we'd arrived at the restaurant and were seated at our dinner table. This was followed by appetizers and a critical comparison between the Roche theatre and the 'Cutlassfinch Arena', where she touted the well-varnished rebounding boards behind the Roche stage as being superior, whereas I maintained that any stage that was too small to choreograph a decent sword fight was not a proper theatre, acoustic superiority or no.

That particular argument lasted for the whole dinner and right through to the dessert course, at which point we found some common ground and both enthusiastically agreed that, regardless of the venue, "The Wives of Torvald Stitchring" was something that neither of us had any desire to go see.

During our coach ride to the theatre, we attempted to come up with a list of the worst plays we'd ever been unfortunate enough to witness, taking great pains to describe what had made them particularly awful. It became sort of a contest, each of us trying to outdo the other, comparing our results through unlikely and increasingly exaggerated descriptions of the things we would rather have done in place of actually watching the play itself.

Our contest carried on well after we'd arrived and were seated, causing us to snigger quietly in our chairs until at least the middle of the first act. We were given the occasional look from time to time, but one of the advantages to private box seats is that nobody could actually tell us to 'hush' without being louder than the sound they were hushing.

The play was okay, though unbelievable. The plot revolved around a hunter who got lost in the forest and happened upon several talking animals who eventually helped to lead him back home. Though the dialogue was uninspired and predictable, Talia and I both agreed that the animal costumes were spectacular. In fact, the rock lion costume provoked a look of smiling, wide-eyed amazement from her . . . almost precisely the sort of look that I'd been trying to get lately.

Well, at least now I knew the secret - all I had to do was dress up like a rock lion.

We left the theatre on foot. Talia seemed a little surprised that I'd given my driver, Taryll, the rest of the evening off, but it was a pleasantly cool autumn night that seemed perfect for a leisurely stroll.

Talia allowed me to take her arm, and we began walking back to the keep.

We engaged in some idle chatting as we walked, but it seemed a little forced at times, and was punctuated by longer pauses than our previous conversations. I began to realize that she was trying to figure out how to broach an awkward subject, and I hid my grin as best I could, allowing the pauses to get lengthier and lengthier.

Finally, she couldn't take it any longer.

"Vincent?" she asked, her voice sounding a tad ashamed.

"Mmmm?"

"I think . . . I may have done something I shouldn't have."

"Oh, really?" I leered. "Do tell."

"Well," she began, taking a breath and exhaling it slowly. "Today, at the market. You remember the fellow you had following me?"

"The street vendor? Of course!" I smiled. "I hope you found his services useful."

"Well, yes," she said, not meeting my eye, inspecting the cobbles as we walked. "Here's the thing - he was following me quite closely. I had told him originally that I didn't really want anything, but after a while he got this worried look and just kept asking, always two steps behind me. It got kind of annoying."

"Right," I said, stretching the word out longer than was necessary.

"And then we got to the Pine Street Market, which was fairly crowded," she said, "and he kept trying to follow me with his cart, bumping into people and asking them to get out of his way." She gave me a look that was half accusation, half forlorn embarrassment. "I became rather frustrated and annoyed. And I understand that you did it for me, but right then I was just . . . I don't know."

Talia heaved a sigh and shrugged lightly, her lips pressed together in trepidation.

"So you didn't like my gift. Fair enough. However, I fail to see what this has to do with you doing something you shouldn't have. You didn't send the poor fellow away, did you?"

"No. I should have, but I didn't," she said, eyes focused on the street once more. "I just . . . it felt so awkward, this person following me around asking me if I wanted tea, or a glass of wine . . . and then complaining to me that his iced fruit was going to get warm soon if I didn't have some, saying he'd buy me anything I wanted if he didn't already have it with him. It made me a little angry, stupid as that sounds." She heaved another sigh. "And then, he asked me again just as we were passing by some children that were dressed in little better than rags. They looked like they hadn't eaten in days."

"And you . . . what? Gave a few street urchins something to eat?" I asked, carefully hiding my smile.

"Well, first I asked the fellow to give them some food, and he seemed a little anxious about that . . . said that he was only supposed to serve me and my friends. And that's when I told him that these children were my friends, and if he didn't start behaving like they were, I'd report his failure directly to you once I got back."

"So, you bullied the poor fellow into giving them something to eat from his cart?"

"Yes," she agreed, meekly. There was a significant pause. "All of it."

"Ah."

"And I made him buy them some clothes."

"Mmm."

"And . . . blankets."

"I see."

"And . . . some silver dinnerware to take home to their families."

"Right."

Talia heaved yet another sigh. "And that's when one of them ran off and brought back several more of his friends."

I couldn't help it - I began to chuckle. She gave me a look that was half-reproachful.

"Vincent, this is serious!" she said. "I knew it wasn't my money to spend, and I knew it was wrong when I was doing it, but those children barely had anything! So I did it anyways, and I kept thinking to myself that I'd pay you back . . . and I will, because this wasn't your fault at all, and I wanted to tell you earlier because I knew it was serious-"

"Talia," I began.

"-because when the fellow totaled everything it came to over a hundred and twenty gold, but you can take it out of my pay if you like, because it's not that poor street vendor's fault at all, it's mine! I just couldn't let those children go hungry, and I feel so stupid-"

"Talia, please," I said, squeezing her arm slightly. "It's fine."

"It's not fine, Vincent! It's not fine at all! I was in a mood, and I took advantage of something nice you were trying to do for me, and now it's cost you a hundred and twenty gold, and-"

"Yes, well . . . I'd budgeted for two-hundred, actually." I gave her a patiently disappointed look and patted her arm gently. "I suppose you'll just have to do better next time."

"Be mad at me all you want, but when- . . . wait. What?"

"You're a difficult woman to shop for, do you know that?" I teased, holding up a hand to count off fingers. "No jewelry, no flowers, no sweets . . . and I've already bought you more books than you have time to read. So, this time, I decided to give you something a little different."

Talia favored me with a startled, confused look.

"Honestly, I sort of suspected how you'd end up reacting to the fellow with the cart. That sort of attention makes you uncomfortable, being waited on and all, but you wouldn't become vexed with him about it, right? Not his fault, after all . . . it's mine. And I figured you'd maybe accept a tea or something small, but not much more than that, which would have made you feel bad for this poor guy who was forced to follow you around with a huge cache of refreshments. Then you'd become annoyed with me for doing this to you in the first place. Add the sight of poor, hungry children, a fairly common sight at the market, and I knew that eventually you'd be unable to stop yourself."

"You-" was all Talia managed to say before falling silent. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, but continued holding onto my arm as we walked down the street at our slow, even pace.

"See, I had a really good month this month, mostly because I got to help a lot of people in a really meaningful way - people who really needed it, and who truly appreciated my help once I gave it. It felt really good. Not everyone is in a position where they can do something like that. So," I shrugged lightly, "I figured I'd give you the opportunity to feel good about something you did."

After a few more paces I smiled a cheerful sort of 'See? It's all okay!' kind of smile at her, and quickly checked to see how she was doing.

Okay . . . so here's the thing I don't get.

I figured I sort of understood her a little bit, right? She laid down the law when it came to courting her - no flowers, no jewelry, no knee-jerk faithful stand-by sort of 'Oh look, I'm being romantic!' sort of things at all. But there was a point to it. I realized early on that it was precisely that sort of stuff that wasn't romantic, because it required hardly any thought. Want to make your lady happy? Buy her some flowers - problem solved. Still not enough? Get her some jewelry - problem solved. Quick, easy, promptly taken care of, requiring barely any effort at all.

Her whole point was that being romantic isn't about flowers, or jewels, or any of the standard 'go-to' stuff at all. Demonstrating to someone that you understand them well enough to know they'd enjoy or appreciate something unusual . . . that's romantic.

Yet every single time I'd done something along those lines, Talia's reaction was the exact opposite of what I'd expected. When I figured she'd get excited, she became withdrawn and quiet. I'd do something that I felt should produce a smile, and find her close to tears instead.

And so here we were, on the tail end of what I considered to be a fun, touchingly romantic gesture, one that demonstrated that I knew her well enough to find something she'd truly appreciate, and what was Talia doing?

She was walking next to me, eyes on the cobbles of the street, saying nothing and looking miserable. I thought I could hear the occasional unhappy sniffle, and I was left with the distinct impression that she'd have preferred not to have been holding my arm right at that moment. Why? I had no idea.

The two of us continued down the street at our slow, even pace, and though at times it seemed like she was about to say something, we spent the rest of our walk in oppressive silence. It was deflating.

I did my best to keep my own feelings hidden from her, but it was getting harder and harder. I don't care much for disappointment - it's one of the reasons why I work so hard at getting better at things like thieving, or running territory, or fighting with swords. Right now it was starting to feel like no matter how hard I practiced this one thing, no matter how much work I put into sweeping Talia off her feet, I simply got worse at it.

Well, I still had the 'Lord up my sleeve' - her birthday present. If that didn't get the reaction I was looking for, nothing would.

We both continued down the street without a sound, save for the regular thumping of my cane. Soon the streets became more and more familiar, and Tucat Keep came into view.

The scene was a very interesting one.

With none of my staff around to interrogate, dozens of Crown Knights were simply milling around the front gate, or standing next to one of the several carriages that were parked in front of my empty keep. As we got closer, it appeared most of their uniforms were the same, though I did spy a couple of Captain uniforms, along with one particularly dressy uniform. It looked like the sort of thing a very important person might wear during a parade, and the grey-haired, granite-faced fellow wearing it looked like the type who wore it as often as possible. I recognized him immediately.

Preceptor Terrence Borshank - one of the two Preceptors I reported to. A man who outranked everyone in Harael, with the exception of Prince Tenarreau.

Borshank himself was giving this matter his personal attention. Wow.

As Talia and I approached, I spotted the pudgy excise officer that I'd brushed off earlier. He spotted me at about the same time.

"There!" he cried, jabbing a stubby finger in our direction. "There he is! That's him, right over there! Arrest him!"

Dozens of heads turned to face us simultaneously, and everyone stopped what they were doing and just stared at us. If you've never had something like that happen to you before, you're missing out.

Talia looked to them, and then to me, her eyes asking a question.

I took her hand from my arm and planted a single chaste kiss on the back of her fingers before bowing low to her.

"Thank you for the lovely evening, Talia - I had a wonderful time. You'll have to excuse my terribly bad manners," I said, gesturing meaningfully at the assorted knights with my cane, "but it appears that I have to go to prison now."