[ rue's pov ] 

GWENIVERE FINN. like most kids in east highland, she had a pretty normal childhood. expect for that fact the her parents were super religious to the point that gwen never even cursed until she was fifteen. while gwenivere did believe in god, she doubted it sometimes. she thought it was dumb that every mistake someone made, was judged by a random guy that no ones even seen. along with being super religious, gwens parents were kinda hippies. but not in the good way. her parents didn't believe that mental illness was real, and she began smoking cigarettes to cope with not having her parents support when she really needed it. gwenivere was super sweet, overly trusting, but a good friend. though she was two years younger than cassie, the pair were best friends, but then again, gwen makes everyone feel like they're best friends with her. 

the summer before freshman year, gwen changed. she got taller, her boobs got bigger, and she her acne went away. if the boys at east highland weren't trying to sleep with cassie or maddy ( which would never happen, because of nate) , they went for gwen. though gwen would make out with people, she vowed to not have sex until she was married. she even got a purity ring on her thirteenth birthday, that she never takes off. 

gwen always cared about her appearance. a lot. she was the type of girl that you'd never see eat at school. she knew her dieting had gotten out of hand, but she couldn't help it, it was addicting. it was like her heroin. it felt so good. the highs were so high, but then she would crash, and the lows were pretty fucking low.  gwenivere hated almost everything about herself, and she hated that other people loved those things. 

and as gwenivere began her junior year, she planned to keep things as they always were, although sometimes things don't go exactly how you planned.

[ third person pov ]

now gwen was laying on the bed next to kat at maddy's house. " is this cute?" she said looking down at her cherry printed dress. kat nodded as maddy looked back and smiled. it was the party before her junior year of high school, so pretty much everyone was trying to look their best. 

" yeah, i like it." maddy says fixing her makeup.

" why dress like slut if you're not gonna have sex with anyone?" bb asks, although it was a rhetorical question.  

" bb do you ever shut the fuck up?" maddy asks, and bb for once had nothing to say. kat and gwen exchange a look fighting back smiles.

just then, maddy's dad opens the door to her bedroom, "dad! stop being a pervert, we're literally like all naked right now," maddy shouts, before he leaves the room, and maddy lets out a laugh. " ok let's go." 

as the group of girls drive to mckay's party, they run into rue. rue was going into her junior year, just like gwen. the pair were pretty close in elementary school, but they drifted apart as they started high school . " hey rue," gwen says, lighting her cigarette. " want one?" she asks as rue gets in the car after she was offered a ride.  it was really only a question, as  rue had just gotten out of rehab, so gwenivere expected a no.  

" sure," rue says, grabbing a cigarette out of the pack. gwen hands rue the lighter, taking her own cigarette from between her lips and exhaling. " thanks." 

" no problem." mckay's house was already packed, the chatter and loud music felt like the house was rattling and so was everything else nearby. gwen drops her cigarette on the ground, putting it out by rubbing her shoe onto it. as soon as the girls get inside the house, they go their separate ways. gwen walks to the kitchen where they have a bunch of drinks laid out. 

all alcoholic. great. gwen never liked drinking. as gwenivere goes to sit on the couch, she bumps into cassie. the pair exchange a hug before gwen queries, " where are you going?"

" i'm gonna go talk to mckay," cassie answers, taking a sip of the  beer in her left hand. gwen nods. " ok bye i love you." cassie says as she begins to push herself through the groups of people. gwen sighs as she sits on the couch, scrolling through her phone. she's not really paying attention until she feels the couch indent, as someone sits next to her. 

" hey," he says, scanning his eyes up and down gwenivere's body, stopping for a moment at her chest. 

"hi," gwen replies, " do i know you from somewhere?" something about him seemed familiar to gwen, but she couldn't quite place it.

" i used to go to school at east highland, i'm a freshman in college now," he begins, " but none of the girls in college are as beautiful as you are." 

gwen smiles. " where do you go to school?" she asks as he scoots closer to her. he smelt like beer and weed, which gwenivere didn't like, but he was nice so she didn't say anything. 

" ucla." 

" and what are you doing at a highschool party?" 

" is it really a highschool party if mckay's hosting? besides i was in town, and mckay invited me." he shrugs, resting his hand on gwens thigh. " what's your name, sweetheart?" 

" gwen. what's your name." 

" dylan. do you want to head upstairs?" he asked already standing up. 

" sure," dylan grabs gwens hand and leads her up the stairs until he finds an empty bedroom.  gwen sits on the side of the bed, as dylan locks the door. he sits down next to her lifting her chin, as he presses his lips against hers. 

they kiss for a while, gwens hands in his dark brown hair, as he wraps her arm around her waist. he moves one hand up her leg, putting it in between her legs, and grabbing the fabric of her panties. gwen swats her hand away from her, breaking the kiss momentarily. " why'd you do that?" dylan says, " don't you want to have sex?" 

 "no."

" are you a fucking virgin or something," when gwen doesn't reply he adds, " oh shit, you are a virgin." 

" can we just make out instead?" gwen asks, embarrassed that she's almost a junior in high school, and all her friends have had sex.

" fine, but only because youre hot." and with that the pair connect their lips again, except now gwen has climbed on top of dylan's lap. occasionally, he would put his hand up her dress, thinking that gwen will have changed her mind. and every time he did this, gwen would swat his hand away.

it wasn't long after, that dylan got bored, and went to find some other girl that he could fuck. gwen didn't mind. she bounced down the stairs to see everyone crowded by the kitchen. pushing her way to the front she saw nate yelling at the new girl to town, jules. jules and gwen met through kat, who met jules at summer school. " does anyone here know who jules is?" nate yells, the veins popping out of his neck, and his face turning tomato red. 

gwen would say something, but nate was really fucking scary. " does anyone know who the fuck jules is?" he asks again. 

gwen couldn't watch jules be screamed at by nate so she says, " i do." the room goes silent.

 nate turns around, " god gwen you are so fucking stupid. it was a rethorical question." 

" don't talk to her like that," jules interjects.

" i'll talk to her however the fuck i want." nate says. the fight escalates very quickly, nate threatening to hurt jules. jules grabs a knife off the kitchen counter, waving it around before stabbing it into a cabinet. 

" you wanna fucking hurt me? back the fuck up. what the fuck is your problem? i'm fucking invincible." jules says, pulling the knife out of the cabinet and purposefully cutting her forearm. 

" by the way im jules, i just moved here," the blonde says as her walks out the house. gwen sees rue run off to follow jules, and the group that was watching disbands to their own conversations. gwen walks back up the stairs bumping into kat and bb.

" guys i just lost my virginity," kat whispers. bb congratulates her for being a slut, but gwen isn't paying attention, as now all her friends were not virgins expect for her. 

" you good?" bb asks, placing her vape back in her mouth.

" yeah i'm fine." truth be told, gwen just wanted to go home, but she couldn't because maddy was her ride, and she was probably off fucking nate. 

when gwen gets dropped off at her house by maddy, her mom is sitting on the couch; waiting for her. " where were you?" she asks, arms folded. 

" maddy's" gwen says partially lying, " why?" 

" you just look like you went to a party." 

" well i didn't. goodnight." she says kissing her moms forehead.

avery's add on's ! 

prologue is out! i actually really like this chapter,

but i lowkey hate how it ends 😩