"It is not the pain, It is who it came from"

- Drishti Bablani

CHAPTER 23

Mishti watched Kuhu and Jasmeet aunty go out of the room from her position between the shelves. Crap! Abir was alone in the room with her now. How she wished her mother was here. Or her brother. Abir Rajvansh could then go talk to them and leave her alone.

But no, They were out and she could count on no help from Kuhu or Jasmeet aunty, Blast them. Well, no matter. Abir could stand in the room all he wanted. She would just continue to arrange the books and ignore him. That would serve him right.

Abir : How are you today, Mishti?

Mishti snorted and turned to the next shelf trying to sort the books starting with B. She was determined to ignore him, but when she removed the next book, her eyes found Abir's who was standing to the other side of the shelf.

Mishti : I am not seeing guests right now.

Abir : That's too bad since you're seeing me right now.

Mishti : I am very busy.

Abir nodded, looking at the books on the floor.

Abir : I can see that.

Mishti : Therefore, I am not seeing guests right now.

Good God, Would he take the hint this time at least and leave?

Abir : I am here, anyways.

Apparently he did not get the point. Or, he did and he chose to ignore it. Likely, the latter, Mishti surmised.

Mishti : What is it you want, Mr Rajvansh?

Abir: Last night, it was Abir. Today it is Mr Rajvansh?

Mishti glared at him.

Mishti: I asked what do you want?

Abir : I think we need to continue our conversation from last night.

Mishti said nothing, but bent down to pick up few books and sort through them. She remained silent as Abir walked towards her aisle and stopped when he was, but, a few feet away from her.

He watched her, unmoving, as though considering his next words carefully. She waited, slowly placing the books on their shelf, willing him not to say anything. Hoping he'd simply give up and leave.

Abir : Mishti, I am really sorry for last night.

His words were quiet in their sincerity but the words made her flinch. He regretted yesterday. She closed her eyes, willing the tears not to come.

Abir : I am willing to do the right thing. Please....

Mishti : No!

Abir (surprised) : Excuse me?

Mishti : You don't need to apologise, Mr Rajvansh. And there is no right thing to do. There's no need for anything.

Abir : You're not serious.

Abir's incredulous tone made Mishti's shoulders stiffen and she glared at him.

Mishti : Ofcourse I am.

Abir ran his hands over his hair as if he did not know what to do with them.

Abir : We will marry, Mishti. I want to do the right thing and you have to let me.

Mishti walked over to the next shelf. Abir couldn't have sounded more high handed if he tried. But his patience was wearing out.

Mishti : What is this right thing you keep talking about? We are not in the early 1900s. You didn't do anything wrong. You have no reason to marry me. So thank you for your offer, but it is not accepted.

He looked completely bewildered.

Abir : Why not?

Mishti : I'm sorry?

Abir : Why won't you marry me?

Mishti : Well, Have you asked me?

Abir stared at her for a long time, his eyes clearly showing that he thought Mishti mad.

Abir : What do you think I've done till now?

Mishti : You never asked me, Mr Rajvansh. You've announced and ordered me.

Abir : Oh, is that all? Alright, Mishti! Will you please marry me?

The words sent a sad thrill through Mishti. Forced into it or no, Abir Rajvansh proposing to her was definitely high on her list of most wonderful moments in her lifetime. Top of the list.

Mishti : No, but thanks for asking.

Abir : What the....

Mishti observed the irritation flash in his eyes as he glared at her.

Abir : Do you want a proper proposal, me on one knee, with a poem and a ring?

Mishti : Don't be silly.

She didn't think she would be able to stand such a moment. That would be a cruel trick of the universe.

Abir : What the hell is the problem then?

The problem is that he didn't seem to want Mishti.

Mishti : I don't see why you're so upset. You've clearly had sex with many women before and I don't see you asking them to marry you.

Abir stood in silence as he contemplated her words. Mishti, who had been avoiding his gaze all this time, now looked at his and waited for a reply.

Mishti: Why? Am I wrong? You slept with Natasha. Did you want to marry her?

Abir : No, But...

Mishti: What about the twins that you slept with on the same day? Did you want to marry them?

Abir: What nonsense. I have never done such a thing.

Mishti stored the information for later. Were all the sordid rumours about him false?

Mishti: Alright then. But can you deny the fact that you did not ask anyone else? You cannot. Why do you want to marry me then?

Abir: I...

Mishti: Tell me, Abir. If we had not slept together yesterday, Would you have shown up this morning asking to marry me?

Abir kept quiet as Mishti knew she had won this argument. She opened her mouth to continue but before that, Abir spoke.

Abir : Do you really think marrying me would be such a bad idea?

The tears once more threatened to spill from her eyes. Bad? Marriage to Abir would be incredible. It was her heart's fondest, deepest and truest wish. She would be thrilled beyond measure to be Mrs Mishti Abir Rajvansh. It would be a dream come true.

But, in all her dreams, he married her because he loved her. He admired her, he cherished her... That's why he wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. However, that would remain a dream. In reality, He wanted to marry her out of a misguided sense of duty. What if he grew bored of her in two years? Five years? Would he divorce her? Would he ignore her and find another girl? She didn't think she would be able to manage that.

She had dreamt of a happy ever after. Marriages borne of regret and mistakes did not make for appropriately happy ever afters. Mishti knew that her best chance of ever marrying and having a family was to accept a loveless marriage, but agreeing to such with Abir was simply too much to bear.

She'd longed for him for too long to accept less than love.

Abir : Mishti?

Mishti smiled slightly.

Mishti : Ofcourse marrying you wouldn't be a bad idea. But I don't want a husband.

Abir : I'm sorry but I can't believe that.

Mishti : We wouldn't suit anyways, Mr Rajvansh.

Abir (exasperated) : Why wouldn't we suit? And for God's sake, Call me Abir.

Mishti : We just wouldn't suit.

Abir : Why ever not?

Mishti sighed in irritation. Why wouldn't he leave her alone? Why did he have to constantly rattle her? She moved towards him until she was standing right in front of him, her finger pointing towards his chest.

Mishti : We wouldn't suit because I am not beautiful. I am not popular. The best thing I am is dutiful. You are outgoing. You have a busy social life. I have none. You like concerts and you clearly like the singers. I like books. I am such a nobody that I hadn't even been kissed until I stood in front of your bedroom and asked you to. That's how plain I am. The last thing I want is a marriage with someone who will regret such an arrangement from the moment you apply the sindoor on my hairline.

The words came out fast and furious, and she was angry that he'd pressed her into laying bare her insecurities. She moved back, her back trembling with anger and pain. That wasn't enough so she turned around, not wanting to hear him say that she was right and he was glad she showed him the right path.

Abir (softly) : I will never regret it.

Mishti turned around, amazed. Her heart sang at his soft words but she had had enough. Enough of his kindness and his passion. Enough of the way he made her mind and her heart and her body feel. Enough of punishing herself with moments alone with him. Enough of the events of the past few weeks somehow convincing her that she might, after all, have a chance with Abir.

Mishti : I can't believe that's true. You're saying you don't regret the kisses we shared? You're saying you don't regret the scene at the gallery? You don't regret last night? You've been so quick to apologize after each of those moments, Abir, it's fairly obvious that a marriage to me is the very last thing you would choose freely. The first words after last night was I am sorry. We will marry soon. What were you sorry about? That you had to sleep with poor old me? You have been kissing me out of kindness, out of pity or something else that I can't be sure of. But you do not want to do that for life. You don't want to marry me of your own will.

Abir : That's not true.

Mishti : Ofcourse it is. Besides, why should you settle for me when you can have a beautiful, exotic female? I understand why you feel you have to marry me. You are a gentleman and I belong to the Elite. I have a reputation to uphold and you want to protect me. I get that. But that's not your call. You have placed me on a pedestal. You respect me and you want to make sure my reputation is untouched. But I chose last night. It was my wish. You did not force me. You did not manipulate me. I am a human being just like you. I don't want to be kept on a pedestal. I want to be able to make my decisions. Decisions that are not your concern. Don't worry about me. I release you from any obligation you think you have towards me. I will not marry you for any reason.

I have loved you too long. And too much. But ofcourse, she could not say that.

He stared at her for a long moment, and she could sense his frustration at her words. And then he spoke.

Abir : This is not over.

His voice was firm and unyielding but she met his gaze squarely.

Mishti : Yes. It is.

He spun on his heel and stormed from the room.

She watched him go, listening for the main door to slam closed before she allowed the tears to come.

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What's going to happen next? :o 

Also, Mishti is about to have a very unexpected chat with someone. Who is that going to be? Any guesses?? :P :P 

Let's try for 92+ comments this time.. <3 <3