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-&-

Chapter 12

Avidus

       I watched the Immortal with narrowed eyes. Annoyance rippling through me. Not only was he failing at his task, he was becoming so lazy that he couldn't even sense my presence. This would not do. Too long had I been waiting for this. For her. I would not let his idleness ruin it.

       Yet I sat in the pathetic excuse of an office chair quietly, watching him fold laundry, and waited. I kept track of how long it took for him to notice. Every minute would be a year he suffered in the cells beneath Accalia—the Cathedral at the center of town.

       The last few days had put me in foul mood. I could feel her pain as if it were claws ripping through my chest. Could see the nightmares she suffered deep within my own mind. Every night. Every fucking night I was pulling her from demons and fire and blood. It was the nights I couldn't get into her mind fast enough that bothered me. The nightmares I couldn't quite save her from. It had to end. They had to end.

       "My Lord!" The Immortal's sharp intake as he turned to put away his clothes pulled me from my thoughts. The fear slithering into his eyes appeased my mood slightly. "How long have you been there?"

       "A while."

       He gulped and the sound was palpable throughout the apartment's bedroom. I smiled. "You seem awfully... fearful today." I mused gently as my shadowed fingers brushed along the armrest of the office chair. Good. I wanted him afraid. He was failing in his tasks and my little human was suffering because of it.

       "You look rather formidable today." He countered, though the usual casual banter I allowed between us was not there.

       "Hm." I stood slowly on shadowed feet. It was not a form I enjoyed being in for long. It made me too detached from the world, from reality. The shadows sang to me, encouraged me to forget, to let go, to sleep. I was done sleeping. I was done waiting. Larkin was within my grasp for the first time in seven centuries. I would not let her be stolen again.

       "Her nightmares are getting worse. They are getting real. I had to kill a daemon in them the other day, in a peaceful dream that I had given her. I worry they will send more."

       "You were aware then? Of the sleepwalking?"

       I paused, the darkness of my fingertips leaving shadowed mist on the glass frame dusting his desk. "I was not aware of the extent."

       "Avidus—"

       "You are failing at your job, half-breed." The Immortal bristled at the word, at the reminder that no matter how beautiful or dangerous his kind were, they were no match for mine.

       "I'm trying. Larkin is hardheaded and she knows there is something... off about me. However," He added quickly at the sideways look I gave him, "I did save her the other day. She might like me more now."

       "I saved her." I felt an anger rise within me that I had to shove down. He wasn't there, in her dream. He didn't burn the creature to ash that threatened to steal her from me. I did.

       "Yes, my lord." He added quickly, as if he too could feel the caged fury within my chest. "But I did take her home. Perhaps now it will be easier."

       I let out a strenuous sigh and stepped closer to the shadows of his room. I would have to go soon. I had been in this form for too long. It was becoming hard to differentiate time and darkness. "I do not want her to struggle here. I want her to feel at home." For this place was my home as well. "It's your job to protect her when I cannot."

       I slipped into the darkened corner of his room, the fabric of reality already wrapping around my shoulders, curling down my arms and around my torso, ready to rip me back through realms.

       "Continue disappointing me Lucious, and it will be the last thing you do."

-&-

Larkin

       I blinked over at the man still asleep at my side, one of those beautifully defined arms wrapped around my waist. I couldn't remember how to breathe. I woke up only a few minutes ago, slightly groggy until my fingers curled around his soft dark hair that I had been playing with in my sleep. Last night rushed back like an avalanche and I laid frozen in Adriel's arms with wide eyes.

       Oh God... What did we do? What did I do? Threw myself at him. That's what.

       What was I supposed to say now? What was I supposed to do? We crossed a line I never thought in a million years we would, but now he was sound asleep, cradling me in his arms. I needed to get away. Needed space to think, to breathe. Adriel and I had slept together.

       I let out a shaky breath, and tried to slowly slip out from beneath his arm. I froze when the man made a gruff noise in his sleep, but let out a relieved sigh when he simply rubbed his face against the pillow and stilled. I was a coward, and I knew it too, but I couldn't face him. I needed time to process. To figure out everything I might have just ruined.

       Adriel didn't wake, didn't so much as budge again as I slipped slowly from beneath his arm and hastily threw on the pajamas from last night. Please, let there be clothes in the laundry room. I pleaded in my mind as I slipped quietly from the room. It was roughly around five in the morning, if the slowly rising light of the sun was anything to go by, and he and Raffie would have to wake up soon.

       I took a quick shower and brushed my teeth before hurrying to the laundry room in a towel. I wanted to cry in relief when I saw a pair of leggings and overly large sweater—that had to be Adriel's—folded neatly on the cabinet. I threw the clothes on before locking myself in the hallway bathroom. I had to get out of the house before they woke up.

       What was I supposed to say to him? "Good morning, thanks for fucking my brains out last night it was amazing."? I could just see him arching a dark eyebrow at that, see that stupid heart fluttering smirk pull on his lips. Heat suddenly stained the back of my cheeks, and I had to splash cold water on my face to force it away.

       Damn, just thinking about that look had me all hot and bothered. This was so—so not good.

       "Larkin?" I nearly jumped as Adriel's gruff sleep-stained voice spoke from the other side of the door. "Are you in there?"

       "Y-yeah! I'm just getting ready." I let out a nervous laugh and splashed more water on my face.

       He was silent for a moment before his voiced sounded again, though the gruff gravel of it did funny things to my insides. "It's five in the morning, Lark. You don't have to be at the school for a few more hours."

       "Um, yeah, big project coming up. Told my group I would be there early today."

       "You're lying." My heart skipped a beat at his words, and I tried not to let my breath sound shaky as it escaped my lungs. "You know how I feel about lying." But then he let out a rough sigh and pulled away from the door. "I'm going to make breakfast then wake Raffie up. I would love it if you joined us, but if your group needs you that badly I understand."

        I wasn't sure how he was able to make me feel like a coward and remorseful all at once, but I hated it. Hated how easily he could see through me, read everything on my face, hear it all in my voice. Breakfast. Breakfast. I could sit through breakfast, especially since Raf is going to be there. He wouldn't try to talk about last night in front of her. I could handle that. Even if one look from those blue eyes would make my cheeks flame in embarrassment.

       The thought made me pause. Did I regret last night? Is that what this feeling was? No, no, not regret but fear. The same fear I had ever since his parents died and we became close. The fear of losing him. What did he think of me now that we slept together? Was I just another one of those 'hormonal teenagers' he scoffed at? He had said I was the girl that made everything better, but that wasn't right. I made everything worse.

       Thirty minutes later the three of us sat at the dining table, eating pancakes and bacon. I was too lost in my own head to care about the sugar and syrup they poured all over their food. Adriel noticed my lack of scolding though, he always noticed.

       "Raf, why don't you go get your backpack?"

       My eyes snapped over to the blue pair watching me with that stupid knowing look of his. I clenched my jaw and tore my gaze to the kid, silently begging her not to leave the table. She completely ignored my stare, and shot her brother a big smile before skipping off towards the stairs. "Well, I should really get to school—"

       "Sit down." A tight grip on my wrist as I jumped to my feet forced my butt back into the chair. I let out a strangled sigh and slumped down low, like a scolded child.

       "I don't want to talk about this." I grumbled and played absently with my fork. Adriel ignored me as he shoved more pancake into his mouth. I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. "Adriel—"

       "No, Larkin. We're not going to start this." He set his fork down before leaning heavily against the back of his chair. His fingers drummed across the tabletop, those dark eyes staring holes into my own as his tongue flicked out to lick his bottom lip. My mouth went dry. "You do not get to pretend like nothing happened and ignore me for the rest of the day."

       "I wasn't—"

       "Do not lie to me." I crossed my arms defiantly over my chest and let out a 'huff'. He stared at me for a few long seconds, before that dark gaze seemed to soften and he leaned forward. "I was disappointed when I woke up and you weren't there, Angel." My gaze flickered to his, and something in my stomach seemed to flutter at the look in those blue eyes.

       "I just... needed to think." I admitted softly as his hand reached forward and strong fingers brushed gently across my jaw. I leaned closer to him.

       "About last night?"

       "Yes."

       His fingers stilled against my skin, but he didn't pull away. "Do you regret it?"

       I paused, one second too long if the pained look flashing through those dark eyes was anything to go by. "No. No, Dri. I don't regret it." I reached up to cup that hand to my cheek when he started to pull away. He paused.

       "Then what's wrong?"

       "I—I don't know." I breathed softly and closed my eyes against the look in his. I clutched his palm to my cheek. "Last night was amazing, but I'm terrified of it. Of what it means. I don't want anything to change. I don't want to lose you."

       "You are not going to lose me, Larkin." Adriel pulled his hand from mine to grip lightly on my chin and raise my gaze to his. My heart stopped at that blue, the blue of the darkest oceans I would gladly drown in. "I didn't let you run after the crash, and I'm not going to let you run now. If you would just realize that you mean more to me than I ever could to you, then you would never worry about losing me." I let out a shaky breath as he rested his forehead against mine, much like he had the night before.

       I breathed him in, not caring one bit that he smelled like bacon and pancakes. That was probably the most endearing, heart wrenching thing he had ever told me. It only made my heart hurt more. We stayed like that for a few silent intense seconds before he pulled his forehead from mine.

       "Last night doesn't have to change anything. We can pretend it never happened if that's what you want." Adriel's tone was soft and reassuring as it rolled softly over the goosebumps on my skin.

       "No, that's not what I want." I admitted quietly as his fingertips once again brushed along my jaw.

       "What do you want?"

       "I don't want to forget."

       He sighed and pulled completely away, leaving a cold sad path where his touch had once been. "Alright, we won't forget, but maybe that should be it." That dark gaze glanced towards the stairs, away from me, completely ignorant of my heart dropping to the floor at his words.

       "Like a one-time thing?"

       "Yeah, like a one-time thing."

       I tore my gaze from him and gripped my hands tightly together in my lap. Is that what he wanted? A one-time thing? It wasn't what I wanted. I had just wanted time to think, to sort through all those raging emotions and feelings tearing through my mind and heart. I would never stop wanting Adriel. I doubt I would even know how too. But if he didn't want anymore then the line would be drawn. That would be it. A one-time thing.

       And maybe—maybe that would be best if that's all we let it be. Our relationship was so complicated, getting involved with each other anymore than we already had couldn't be good. For either of us, or Raffie. I knew Adriel said I would never lose him, but that fear would always eat away at my heart. Sleeping with him just made it ten times worse.

        "Okay, a one-time thing."

-&-

       I was sitting in the college's café later that day, my laptop opened to some article I was supposed to be reading about the history of Realism, but my eyes were locked on my cellphone. Adriel had sent me a text ten minutes ago that I still hadn't opened. If he needed something he always called, never texted.

       "Dude, what happened to you the pass few days?" River asked as he plopped down into the seat beside mine, a half-eaten granola bar in his hand.

       "What?"

       "The other day at Lady Jess's shop? You just took off! Without even saying bye and then you skipped school yesterday!" His hazel eyes blazed brightly as Siena took the other seat at my side.

       "Yeah, what was that? You just beat feet for the hills."

       I sighed and ran my hand raggedly through the loose curls of my hair. I almost completely forgot about the creepy psychic. "Sorry about that, she just freaked me out a little." I didn't want to go into details about my sexy-dream demon guy, or about how that crazy Lady Jess knew about him.

       "See!" Siena suddenly chimed, her gray eyes brightening as she did. "I told you she's the real deal! But I didn't make a run for it when I found out." And just like that, I was forgiven and they both relaxed.

       "Yeah, well, I'm over it now." Though I wasn't so sure. It had been a crazy few days, first with the psychic, then the sleepwalking, and then Adriel. I felt like my mind had been through more than a few spin cycles.

       "Then why do you look like you ate too many bananas today?" River asked around a mouthful of granola.

       "What?"

       "Bananas? You've had that constipated look on your face since I showed up." Those hazel eyes flashed in amusement.

       "Shove it." I grumbled and flipped my phone over, so the screen was pressed against the tabletop.

       "Hey, I'm just worried about your colon—"

       "Don't be disgusting, River." Siena snapped and those bright gray eyes narrowed dangerously.

       "You guys have no sense of humor. Seriously though, Larkin. You okay?" The amused light in River's eyes faded some as he finished his snack and wiped the crumbs from his hand.

       Siena glanced over at his question, and that creepy gaze scanned my face like she was seeing me for the first time. "Oh, you do look down. What's wrong?"

       "Nothing's wrong." I grumbled and stabbed my fork down into the salad beside that damned laptop. Suffer my wrath, leafy greens.

       "Right, okay." She dragged out sarcastically before taking out her own computer and placing it on the table beside mine.

       "Oo, if it's not about the psychic, is it about that yummy foster brother of yours?" River glanced over my screen like I had a picture of Adriel taped there.

       "They're not my foster family anymore." No, I just ate their food, lived in their house, slept with the oldest one, and mooched off them in every possible way. I pushed my salad away. I didn't have an appetite.

       "So, it is about him!"

       I sent the overly excited brunette a dark glare. "No, it's not."

       "Then why did you get all upset when I brought him up?"

       "Leave her alone, River. She's probably just not in the mood for your crazy psycho-analysis today." Siena sighed as she reached over for his unopened water bottle. Those gray eyes stared him down as she undid the cap, brought the bottle to her lips, and drank from it. He glared at his best friend in bewildered disgust, his mouth dropping open. I couldn't help the snicker that pass my lips. I really did like Siena. She was spunky.

       "Bitch." The skinny boy hissed as he sat back and crossed his sweater-covered arms over his thin chest. "I was just trying to help. Obviously, something happened between them otherwise she wouldn't be sitting her all mopey."

       "River—"

       "No, it's okay, but really everything is fine. I'm just dreading all the projects we have coming up." Which wasn't a complete lie. I had two art pieces to create, a literature analysis to write, and I had to start preparing for the big essay we had in that Folklore class. Though, those all seemed more like a reprieve from what my life was quickly turning into. A giant fucking mess.

       River didn't look like he believed me, but Siena's gray eyes were all understanding. "I'll see you guys later." I said with a small smile as I packed up my laptop and rose to my feet. "I have to get to class." I threw my bag over my shoulder and waved, though I didn't bother looking back.

       It wasn't until I exited the little café with my phone clenched in a death grip in my hand that I glanced down at the screen. Adriel's name flashed against the little text icon. I let out a deep breath and clicked the message open. I'm getting pizza for dinner. I couldn't help the laugh that tore from my lips, and I shook my head as I put my phone in my pocket. I didn't know what I was expecting, but it definitely wasn't that.

-&-

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