So Ms. Swara Gadodia waited and watched the years pass by, thinking that she would be forgiven.

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She had moved out of the Maheshwari Mansion when her sister refused to accept Laksh, which she later realised was again a wrong step. She should have stayed back, worked towards her relationship, but instead had succumbed to the easy way, 'if he could walk out, she could be with her sister who would now need her'. And further, at that time she was still a little too sure of his love for her.

She had reverted to her name of Swara Gadodia. She knew that she was no longer the fierce Swara Bose with whom he had fallen in love with and decided that she would add his name to hers only when he said that she could. If that is what he wanted that is what she would do. The sisters managed the SwaRagini Marriage Bureau till the time Ragini agreed to give Laksh a chance, after which Swara managed it alone for a year.

It was at that point in her life that she received the offer to manage the Sargam Academy. She deliberated on it and finally accepted the offer though she refused to be part of the trust and the Foundation, she would oversee everything of the Academy but not be a part of the trust. She did not want that, it could involve meeting him and she could not bear his indifference. But there was no denying the relief on their faces when they had heard her stance and Ragini had happily taken over the role of the trustee. She never bothered to find who the other trustees were, she hoped he would be one, but had later found out that he had refused to be linked to the Foundation.

It hurt but she bore it with stoic grace, she accepted that it was her punishment; she waited, wanting to be forgiven.

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She had stepped into the Maheshwari Mansion only once again, when his mother was on her deathbed and had requested to see her. A very bewildered Swara stepped into Sujata's room and was aghast at seeing the woman who lay dying before her. 

Sujata was a pale reflection of the boisterous and voluble woman she had once been, gone was the fire in her eyes and words, and Swara had heard her out in stunned silence, "Chori, forgive me for what I am about to say. I know I am dying and it is preferable that I do so without carrying any rancour. But I cannot, rather I will not. For all my flaws, I am a mother first and I know how my son suffered and still suffers. He is not without fault though his greatest sin was to love you. You love him too but then love without faith is a fire that torches you and scorches the other. You have destroyed yourself in the process of ruining him. I bless you with a very, very long life, Swara, so that you have ample time to learn and regret. And though it is selfish of me, I pray my son never forgives you in his lifetime."

Swara had been too broken to cry, even when she realised what exactly Sujata had said. Those words were a lament of a mother, a mother from whom she had stolen a son. She could not utter a single word or even shed a single tear, till that moment she had not thought as to the far reaching consequences her single act would have on the lives of everyone around her. She had not only destroyed a man who loved her, she had destroyed a son and a brother too.

She agreed that she need to live for a very long time for her redemption would take years.

But she still hoped that she would be forgiven.

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The pain she carried in her heart found an outlet in her music. She not only managed to master the sitar, which she had taken up to playing on a whimsical request by her sister, she discovered that she could write. Her tears became the ink by which she penned soulful and melancholy songs.

She set those lines to music and when she sang, she moved the audience to tears, as much as she was; she was always misty eyed when she sang. Her songs had an intensity of pathos and were poignant, which was but a reflection of her remorse and regret. She sang to let him know how sorry she was, to beg for his forgiveness and to tell him that she hoped to be forgiven. She always felt his presence but could never see him in the audience. She knew his physical absence, in the beginning she would sing without being conscious of anyone else, her eyes forever searching for him. She could feel him and but could never see him. And when she realised that he would never be there when she sang, she stopped searching for him. She would close her eyes, see him in the depths of her heart and sing for him, hoping and praying that somehow he would hear what she could not say, hoping that her songs would somehow be the action that she could not take.

She gathered great fame and earned the sobriquet of being a 'Modern day Meera Bai' the irony of which was not lost on her. Meera Bai had spent her life pining away for her Lord Krishna, oblivious to her marital duties. Swara had donned the modern version of the same, she had battled for her version of unflinching ideas of right and wrong oblivious to the sin she was committing when she walked out on her husband.

But then, whereas Meera Bai sang of her yearning for her Lord Krishna, Swara songs' ached for her soul mate, the very husband whom she had broken, the only one who had absolutely adored her and whom she knew, still did. She did not care what the world thought of her, her songs, her music and her passion were a manifestation of the love she carried for him, and her remorse at her absolute failure to have faith in him.

Every song she sang was for him as she still waited for him, praying that she was forgiven.

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When the she heard the knock on her door, she was startled out of her reverie, she must have dozed off again at her desk, she thought. She wearily opened the door and saw the one person she had given up all hopes of seeing in her lifetime. She was too stunned to notice any of the changes time had wrought on his handsome face; she could only look at his beautiful eyes as they shone with love for her.

"It is a beautiful night and you should not spend it indoors. Will you come with me for a walk under the stars? There is but a mild chill in the air, which I hope, the warmth of my company will dispel."

Swara did not hesitate, she did not care to reason why he had come after so many years and she did not dare to ask if she was forgiven, she did not say a word. She just nodded, took her shawl from the peg behind the door and slipped her hand into his outstretched hand. Their fingers entwining, she went along with him for what he asked, 'a stroll under the stars'

She hoped she was forgiven.

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The National Times

September 25, 2075

Ms Swara Gadodia, aged eighty three, passed away peacefully on the night of September 24, 2075. She was of excellent health and the doctor had said it was as though her heart had simply stopped beating, for she had died as she lived, at her desk, with a soft smile on her beautiful face.

She was a singer par excellence and had devoted almost all her life to music and the Sargam Academy. Little is known of her life before she joined the Sargam Academy in the year 2020. She received a number of awards during her illustrious career spanning more than fifty years and it is a well-known fact that all the money made from her recordings and concerts have been donated to charities and charitable institutions.

Her voice was capable of holding the world spell bound and each song she sang set high standards in purity of diction and emotional content. She was also the composer of many songs, which despite their inherent melancholy tones have captured the hearts of the general public and music critics alike.

Ms Swara Gadodia will, however, be remembered most for her set of songs, collectively titled as The SwaSan Spectrum, all of the which have been composed and set to music by her. The collection consists of seven songs, each covering the emotions of inspiration, perception, trust, harmony, hope, happiness and passion, with an underlying resonance of deep regret and potent adoration. It is a universally accepted phenomenon, with little or no exceptions, that whenever she has sung this set, the audience has been visibly moved to tears and most have stated that they could visualise all the colours of the rainbow.

The music community mourns her demise.

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The Financial Pages

September 25, 2075

Wealthy recluse, Mr Sanskaar Ram Prasad Maheshwari passed away at his home on the night of September 24, 2075 after losing a decade long battle to lung cancer. He was founder of Karma Industries and a leading force behind the success of the Maheshwari Enterprises. Though actively involved in business decisions of both the companies, he was a very private individual and has been a recluse for the last forty five years, with no public photographs of him available.

He is also the founder and life time patron of the Sargam Foundation and few are aware that he has spent most of his life in the tiny apartment situated on the top floor of the Sargam Academy building. His considerable personal wealth has been donated to the trust, Sargam Foundation, to enable Sargam Academy to continue its patronage to music.

He is survived by his brother, Laksh Durga Prasad Maheshwari.

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Here ends the tale of Swara and her metanoia. I would love to know your thoughts on this tale. Do remember, all feedback, good or bad is welcome.