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29: Need

"Here's this," I said and handed the silver talisman to Sierra. "I don't want it anymore."

"What? When did you get this back?" She got up off her bed and held it up to the drawing on her wall. "Or is this a fake and you're just trying to convince me there's nothing going on?"

"There is nothing going on, and it's the real deal. Dominic and I replaced it with a fake back at Butterfly's, and I—" I paused and let out a breath— "and I don't want that one anymore. I've got mine all figured out."

Sierra laughed. "Damn, Lindsay, how dumb do you think I am? You don't have your talisman figured out. Otherwise, you would be halfway to Aruba to spend the rest of your life there without working."

That was actually very true. "Well, not all the way figured out. I know that it gives me what I want, and all I have to do is bury it deep, deep down so I don't know that I want it."

"You wanted to give your sign language professor a heart attack?"

I paused. "I just didn't want to look like an idiot in front of Dominic again, and the talisman made it happen."

"You're a psychopath."

"Tell me something I don't know." I smiled, even though the ache in my stomach made it very clear that the incident was still bothering me.

Sierra looked down at the talisman I gave her, and then she looked back up at me. "You're telling the truth about this thing?"

I nodded. "I'm not a liar, Sierra."

"Thank you so much," she said before she burst into tears. "It's just that this is pretty much the first time anyone has ever actually accepted me into their group, and it's a little overwhelming, not gonna lie."

I let out a sigh. How did I always catch her when she was hormonal?

"Sierra, it's not that big of a deal. You're my roommate, and I promised you that one if I didn't want it anymore," I said.

"Well, yeah, but you'd be surprised how many times people promised to add me on Snapchat or invite me to a party or let me sit with them at lunch, and then it just never happened." She sniffled and wiped her eye with the back of her hand. "It's exhausting."

"I'm—" I paused. "I'm sorry about that."

I wasn't a stranger to being by myself either, but I didn't mind usually. People only wanted my parents' money from me, and it felt better to avoid the friends new expensive toys could buy. I never had to force my nose somewhere where it didn't belong to get classmates to see me like Sierra, though.

She smiled. "What are you sorry about? All I've ever wanted is for someone to just let me in, and I think I finally broke your walls down after a year and a half."

How was I supposed to respond to that? Suddenly every little thing she did made a little more sense. All she ever wanted was a chance.

I looked at her snotty face. She was pretty with her dark hair and long eyelashes when she wasn't crying, so what was it about her that rubbed everyone the wrong way?

Maybe it was just some magic emotional connection bullshit again. The two talismans really made things weird between Dominic and me with the kiss that I was definitely not still thinking about.

No matter what it was, it wasn't important. And although I was a little uncomfortable with the crying, at least it was somewhat a display of happiness.

"So we're officially friends now, huh?" She smiled and wiped the tear that was just about to reach her chin.

Ever since I started at Tillamook College, I considered Jack to be my only friend and Sierra to be just my annoying, nosy roommate, but if it would get her to shut up about her feelings, I was willing to agree to it.

I nodded. "Sure. I thought failure buddies automatically counted as friends."

She smiled without speaking for a moment, but her eyes lit up when another thought crossed her mind. "So since you, me, Jack, and sometimes Dominic when he feels like not being a jackass are officially a squad, so we should do something tonight. Are there any good movies out?"

I hesitated. Already with the plans? "Well, Jack might have rehearsal—"

"I mean, we just never do friend things, which is probably why I felt like you didn't like me for the longest time. But that's not your fault. You're busy with the talisman, I'm busy with school, Jack is busy with the band, and Dominic just sucks and is the worst."

He really did a number on her self-esteem, didn't he? But could I argue with her point though? Not really.

She must have taken my half a second of silence for disapproval, because she continued on. "Or if you don't want to see a movie, we can do something else. We could even do nothing together."

"Nothing sounds great," I said before she could suggest anything else.

She really wasn't lying about forcing her friendship upon people who didn't exactly want it. But it wasn't like I attracted a crowd of kind people either.

***

So she wants to hang out and do nothing? Dominic texted me back after I mentioned the plan to him.

I smiled and shook my head. Of course he would have a problem with that. He really needed to remove the stick from his ass.

You don't have to come. I don't even know why I brought it up to you. She called you a jackass, the worst, and said that you suck all in twenty seconds, I messaged him back.

Whatever. I'm sure that the damn talisman is just gonna forcefully remind me that you're somewhere I'm not, so I'm not even going to bother fighting it.

So he was coming? Fantastic.

I certainly didn't care if he was with us or not, but Sierra included him as a member of the B-Team friendship squad, so I had to invite him.

Then I guess I don't even have to tell you where we'll be, then. You'll just know, stalker. I finished typing and put my phone into my back pocket opposite of the talisman. I pretty much knew his response was going to be six middle finger emojis anyway.

"If you're hungry, we can order something. Does Jack like pizza?" Sierra asked as she straightened her half of the room up a little bit for our company.

"Literally everyone likes pizza, and you're stressing a lot over hanging out and doing nothing," I said.

"I know, I know, but someone has to, and it sure as hell isn't going to be you." She fluffed up her pillow again and turned to the books on her desk.

"Stressing is for idiots. The only thing I'm even slightly anxious about is picking a Halloween costume."

"Well, that's such a big, permanent decision, so who can blame you?"

I forced out a laugh. I didn't need her sarcasm.

"What are you thinking? Something creative, hot, or funny?" she asked.

"Probably hot. I can't let these collarbones go to waste, you know?"

Sierra laughed. "That would be tragic, honestly."

"What about you? Creative, hot, or funny?"

"I haven't even—" Sierra was cut off by a knock at the door. "A person?"

"Not that many people want to visit us, so I'm going to guess it's Jack," I said.

Jack opened up the door. "You guessed right. And you should probably keep this locked all the time, especially when you're in here. Aren't college campuses really sexual assault-y?"

"Well, yeah, but Sierra keeps a knife in her desk drawer just in case," I said.

She nodded. "It's true. It's mostly for opening all the boxes Lindsay orders, but I think we could stab an intruder with it."

There was no way Sierra would be able to stab somebody, even if they were about to kill her.

Ever since I found my hands full with the metal detector and talisman, I didn't really need to buy anything new that would get Jack and Sierra to judge me, but at least the Amazon box-opening knife was still there for me.

I could always buy a special case for the talisman, one with fake gold flowers painted on it. That sounded nice.

Jack nodded his head and checked out the walls of the room. There wasn't anything new there, but I didn't tell him that. Maybe it just occurred to him that it was a little weird to remind us of the threat of sexual assault when we definitely didn't need a reminder.

"Dominic will be here whenever the talisman decides to invite him, so don't be surprised if it never happens," I said.

Jack and Sierra didn't exactly know that I was running a little experiment to see what happened, if the talisman would do what I wanted and invite him or if it really was just out to ruin my life, but it wasn't like I could just tell them about it. They wouldn't get that it wasn't about Dominic at all. It was about me and the talisman, and that was it.






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Hello everyone! Thank you so much for your patience on this chapter. I know it's not super long, but it's for a reason that will probably only make sense to me. But thank you for reading!

To make up for the shorter chapter, we'll do a fun question. Would you say that you are more:

Impatient or patient?

Talkative or quiet?

Optimistic or pessimistic?

Traveler or homebody?

Moody or level-headed?

I'm definitely impatient. And I love to talk and laugh, but I have to know you at least a little, or else I won't start any conversations. I'm probably more pessimistic than optimistic, since I'm always waiting for something to go wrong. I love being in the comfort of my home, but every once in a while, maybe once a year, it's nice to explore a little bit and do something different somewhere else. And I'm fairly level-headed, but it only takes a little bit of a trigger to send me off an anxious cliff haha.

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