Entry Twelve: Just let me die

I don't have a strong recollection of the next few days, I faded in and out of consciousness sporadically, and I couldn't tell you what truly happened, and what was just a figment of my pain eroded mind, but for posterities sake, I will record what I do remember.

"Mikey - we have to go! I took care of this demon, but others won't be far behind. It's not safe here."

Frank's angelic voice broke through the haze that surrounded my thoughts, and I struggled to surface from my helpless state so I could tell him how much I missed him. Apparently my ears were my only working appendage though, none of my other limbs responded to my brains commands.

"You can't move him, he's hurt! You are just going to make it worse! I won't let you touch him!"

"I know...believe me, if there was any way we could stay, I would wait until he is healed, but we can't risk it. I would never do anything to put your brother in danger...you need to trust me on this."

I could sense Mikey's internal struggle, and I understood where he was coming from. He didn't know Frank at all, and if I was in his position, I wouldn't want a stranger touching my wounded brother either...but Frank was right; we needed to change locations quickly before more demons were drawn to the scent of blood. I could smell smoke close by, and I knew that Frank had killed our attacker and was burning his corpse to hide the evidence.

"Fine..." Mikey acquiesced reluctantly.

"Thank you for trusting me. I promise you I will do everything I can to ease his suffering as soon as possible."

"But Frank...that demon said something about Gerard not being able to heal...he said he coated his claws in some substance that would make it impossible for him to mend. Does that mean he is going to die?"

"No...he isn't going to die, but that does change things. We still need to leave though, I will explain more later."

The familiar scent of rain and sunshine surrounded me, and I felt a strong pair of arms envelope my wounded body. Even though I could tell Frank was trying to be gentle, I couldn't stop a whimper of pain from escaping my cracked lips. Soft fingers stroked my face, and I felt something wet fall onto my cheek...Frank was crying for me. I pushed away the wave of fiery agony and tried to enjoy the sensation of being held by my angel.

"Oh Gee..." he whispered softly, and I cringed at the utter desolation in his tone. I tried to respond, but I didn't seem to have full control over my body.

"This is going to hurt baby...but I have to get you away from here. Please forgive me." With those words, he hefted me up from the ground, and I heard his wings snap open.

"Stay close." I assumed he was talking to Mikey, but being moved had renewed my agony, and I sank back down, seeking relief in oblivion.

———————————————————

A brisk breeze blew my matted hair out of my face, and it was a relief to smell fresh air instead of the scent of blood. I couldn't seem to open my eyes, but I knew we were flying, the beat of wings filled my ears, and I was still wrapped safety in Frank's embrace.

I desperately wanted to see his beautiful face, but try as I might, my lids remained closed. He was muttering to himself softly, and I strained to catch the words before they were pulled away by the rushing wind.

"I am so sorry...I should have been there sooner...this is all my fault."

His words pierced my heart, and I cursed my malfunctioning body that wouldn't let me comfort the man I loved. How could he possibly blame himself for this, if anything, it was my fault for being so weak that I couldn't even defend myself. My breath hitched in my chest, and the salt from my tears burned my unhealed wounds.

———————————————————

I must have drifted off again, because when I awoke, we had landed at the bank of a river surrounded by massive cypress trees. Even though my whole body still ached, I could open my eyes again, and I took the opportunity to drink in the sight of Frank.

He had his back turned to me, the sun silhouetted his small frame, and from this angle, it seemed that he had a golden halo around his dark head. I smiled to myself at the fitting imagery, even nature knew he was an angel.

I attempted to sit up so I could get Frank's attention, but that was a terrible idea. The slightest movement wracked my entire body with pain, and I collapsed back onto the ground with a strangled groan. Hearing my exclamation, Frank rushed to my side, panic lining his face. Brushing my sweaty hair back from my forehead, he turned back to Mikey and continued the conversation I must have interrupted.

"Mikey - we have to do this now. I know a little bit of this substance, we call it Silverthorn in Heaven. If what you say is true, and that demon had it all over his claws, then we have to get it out of his system as soon as possible. I didn't even realize that Lucifer possessed this, if can only be made using a rare flower that used to grow near sites of mass tragedies, but the toxin is also poisonous to angels, so we took it upon ourselves to destroy the plant. I should have known that they would have had a secret supply hidden away..." Frank shook his head angrily.

"But that means..." Mikey glanced down at me as his eyes welled with tears.

"We are going to have to clean his wounds, and do our best to get every last bit of it out of them."

"We can't do that here!" Mikey cried.

"We don't have any other choice. I know demons can't die, but he has an unhealthy amount of Silverthorn in his body. If it isn't removed quickly, his healing process will be stunted, and he could be crippled and scarred for life. I am not going to let that happen to him..."

"Well at least let us take him to somewhere safe, or at least sterile! We are in the middle of a fucking forest! Can't we do it somewhere he will be more comfortable?"

"I wish we could...but I think we are running out of time. We need the seclusion of this forest if we are going to avoid detection. As much as I hate to say this, we are going to cause Gerard a lot of pain, and we can't expect him to keep to silent. If we move somewhere else, we run the risk of alerting demons - or angels for that matter, to our presence. Right now, Lucifer probably assumes that his original tracker has Gerard in custody, so we have a precious window of time, but once he realizes he is dead, we lose that advantage, and each minute we waste is another chance that someone will discover that you two are still running free. There is no one within a ten mile radius of here, so this is the best I can do for now."

"Fine..." Mikey grumbled.

"I'm so sorry for putting you through this Mikey." Frank placed a hand on my brother's shoulder before kneeling down beside me.

"Gee? I don't know if you can hear me, but I am going to carry you down to the river okay?"

"Frank..." I managed to croak out. The smile that split across his face warmed my soul.

"Hey there soldier," he chuckled as he slipped his hands under my body and began to walk toward the rushing water.

"I'm so happy to see you." I clasped my arms around his neck and tried to ignore how it stretched my lacerations.

"Me too." We were knee deep in the river now, and Frank gently leaned down so the cool spray was running over both of our bodies.

"Gee - I have to cleanse your wounds okay, but to do that, I have to open them back up a bit. It's going to hurt...a lot...I am not the best healer."

"S'okay Frankie, I trust you." He began to tremble softly, and I heard him choke back a sob.

"Just hold my hand okay. It will all be over soon." He extended his pale tattooed hand to me, and I grabbed it gratefully.

"Mikey - come help me!" Frank called out to my brother who was still standing on the shore. As he splashed his way over to us, I squeezed Frank's hand reassuringly and he returned the gesture.

"Ready?" he asked me, and I nodded in acquiescence. Taking a deep breath, Frank extended the hand that wasn't holding mine, and it began to glow softly. It emitted a faint heat, and I felt comforted by its light.

"This is Holy Fire. It can burn out any poison, and I am going to use it to remove the Silverthorn from your body. It's going to be painful, but I will be as quick as I can."

"Do it," I whispered as I squeezed my eyes shut.

I didn't think I could handle any more pain, but I knew this was necessary if I wanted to heal. I felt Mikey removing what was left of my shredded shirt, and I winced as it tugged on my numerous gashes.

"I'm sorry Gee..." Frank exhaled as he placed his hand against the large wound on my chest. I pressed my lips together, refusing to scream, because I knew it would just make Frank feel even worse.

I was fighting a losing battle though...the pain was even more intense than being sliced up by that demon had been. I repeated to myself over and over that he was healing me, but as the seconds drew out into minutes, I was beginning to lose control. I had bitten my lip so hard, I felt blood welling into my mouth. I kept praying I would pass out again so I wouldn't have to endure this, but it seemed I wasn't going to be so lucky.

As Frank moved to another cut, I threw my head back in a desperate attempt to escape the searing pain. Mikey had my shoulders pinned to his chest, and I struggled to escape the hold of his skinny arms. He just gripped me even tighter though, silent tears pouring down his drawn face. I felt as if I had white hot pokers being inserted into each of my injuries, and my bloodstream was filled with fire.

"Please stop!" I begged shamelessly. I couldn't take this anymore, I was too weak and broken. Death would be better than enduring this for another moment.

A choked sob tore out of Mikey, and even though I felt terrible for hurting them, I couldn't contain myself any longer. Screaming in agony until my throat was rubbed raw, I truly thought I might lose my mind.

My whole existence was pain, agonizing, unimaginable, gut wrenching pain enveloped me until I couldn't recall anything else. Shuddering violently, I screamed and convulsed as the burning continued. My hands clenched into fists, my nails biting into Frank's palm since I refused to relinquish my hold on him. Finally, my vision began to blur, and I knew it wouldn't be long now...my last memory before I blacked out completely was Frank and Mikey's heart wrenching sobs.

I finally managed to get an update in! Sorry I made you guys wait so long, I had a crazy week, and my dad decided to take us to the beach for the weekend, so I had no internet connection for a few days, but I am back now, so I will be updating much more frequently!

So this chapter is kind of short, but I don't want to rush this story, and I had to end it there so it wasn't too disjointed. I gave myself feels writing this...poor Gee, I am sorry I hurt you! The next chapter is gonna have some Frerard moments though, so stick around :) (No smut yet, but it is coming)

And can I just say OMFG almost 900 reads on this story! I am so freaking happy that you guys like this book, because I am working really hard on it, and I appreciate every single one of you for reading this.

This chapter is dedicated to AMadWholockian because you are awesomesauce and you boost my confidence with your comments :)

Keep it ugly

<3 star