Just warning you all, there is some smut in this chapter, and apparently Wattpad says you have to be following me to read it, soo ya... ;) I will put *** around it, so if you aren't as dirty minded as me, you can skip it.

Entry Seventeen: The friction in my jeans

It seemed like I had barely closed my eyes before I was being shaken awake by Frank. I groaned in protest and tried to bury my face in the pillow, but the little bastard began to tickle me relentlessly.

Usually, I would have loved this attention from him, but I was still in a foul mood, and I shoved him off a little rougher than I intended. He hit the floor hard, and even though he tried to cover it up, I saw the look of fear and pain his eyes.

"Frank - I'm sorry..." I tried to apologize, but he simply turned his back on me.

"It's fine," he said, but I could tell by his tone that he didn't mean it.

With a heavy sigh, I began to pack up my things, and Frank did the same. The silence that filled the cave was smothering me, but I didn't break it, and neither did Frank.

Once I was ready to leave, I woke up Mikey and made him eat some bread, even though he insisted that he wasn't hungry. I refused to budge until he ate, and eventually he gave in begrudgingly. Frank had disappeared, and I hadn't asked where he was going.

I didn't know why I was acting like such an asshole, but I just wanted to be left alone until I figured out what was wrong with my fucked up head. A few minutes later, I heard the sound of wing beats, and Frank reentered the small cave.

"The coast is clear. If we leave now, we should get to the lodge before nightfall." He didn't look at me as he spoke, and my heart twisted painfully. Mikey shot me a questioning look, but I pointedly ignored it. I had really fucked up this time...

I shouldered my bag, and Mikey's as well, before unleashing my wings which looked crippled and hideous next to Frank's majestic set. He launched himself off the ground, and I followed in his wake, making sure to keep an eye on Mikey. He seemed better today, but I wasn't letting him out of my sight after yesterday's scare.

As I flew, I found myself admiring the scenery, which was something I hadn't done in ages. The sun was just beginning to crest over the mountains, causing the snow to glisten and shine underneath us. The effect was mesmerizing, and I wished I could just sit and enjoy it, instead of having to flee to another supposedly safe haven. I was just so tired of running...of being afraid...of having no place to call home.

But I had so much to be grateful for. Mikey and I were alive and free from Lucifer's clutches, and I was in love with the perfect man...so why was I so unhappy? It wasn't just Brendon's visit that had me so shook up, and I knew it.

Now that I had time to think about it, I realized my irrational jealousy of Brendon had been completely misplaced. I should have been over the moon that this complete stranger was willing to help out my brother and I without expecting anything in return. Plus, he was taken, and I couldn't go around seething at every angel that happened to be friends with Frank.

My mind always seemed to do this to me, whenever I had found some form of happiness, it would plague me with what ifs and worst case scenarios until I ended up ruining everything. Back when I had been alive, I had pushed almost everyone away because of my inability to just enjoy someone else's company. I always wondered what they wanted from me, or when they were going to leave me, and it would end up eliminating any chance I ever had at a healthy relationship.

It didn't help that my thoughts were usually right. All my life, people had seemed to tolerate me to get what they wanted. It started out small, a classmate would pretend to be my friend just to get help on their homework, and then once the class was over, they would never speak to me again. Numerous girls tried to suck up to me in hopes that it would get Mikey to notice them.

Even my one and only boyfriend had just wanted me for sex, and when I refused to put out, he had left me so fast, I knew he never truly cared about me. So can you blame me for always assuming the worst? Mikey was the only one who stuck by me, no matter how much I pushed him away.

Oddly enough, this was the first time it had happened with Frank though, because what could an angel possibly gain from a demon? I had never once considered that he would actually return my feelings for him, but now that he did, I was reverting back to my old bad habits.

He was the only person besides my brother that I had truly been at ease around, and now I had ruined that too. Ever since he told me he loved me, I had been terrified of losing him, and it was beginning to drive me crazy.

If I didn't find a way to quiet my dark thoughts, I was going to drive him away, just like I did to everyone else, and I couldn't bear that. I swore to myself that when we reached our destination, I would try my best to explain all of this to him...hopefully he would forgive me.

Now that I had decided on a course of action and my mind was at rest, I enjoyed the remainder of the flight. I didn't even realize we had arrived until Frank suddenly banked left toward what appeared to be a sheer wall of rock and snow. It seemed like we were going to crash into the cliff face, when a ravine opened up, and a small wooden house suddenly came into view.

It seemed cozy and cheerful, even though it had obviously been untouched for years. This appeared like the perfect hiding place, and I hoped we would be able to stay here for more than a few days.

We had to scrape away a few couple feet of snow before we were able to open the door, but once we were inside, I instantly felt safe. The lodge was filled with rustic furniture, and a large fireplace dominated the living room. It was surprisingly warm in here, and I shed my heavy coat gratefully. As I poked around, I found a small kitchen and a bathroom, as well as a suite of rooms up a flight of rickety stairs.

"So what do you think?" Frank asked.

"It's wonderful," I grinned at him, trying to show with my actions that I wanted to make amends.

"As long as it has a bed, I don't care." Mikey giggled. It was such a relief to hear him joking around again, even though his eyes were sunken in, and he still hasn't caught his breath from the flight here.

"I am going to go claim the least dusty room." Mikey bolted up the stairs, and I watched him go with fond smile.

"Are you hungry Gee?" Frank asked aloofly. He headed toward the kitchen, and I followed behind him determinedly.

"Starved actually." I could tell that Frank hadn't forgiven me. I didn't really expect him to yet, but I couldn't stand the rift between us any longer. I had to do something to fix it...apologizing would probably be a good start.

"Well let's see what I have to work with here." As Frank poked through the various cabinets while studiously ignoring my gaze, I gathered my courage and decided I had to talk to him now before I lost my nerve.

"Frank - I'm so sorry for the way I have been acting."

"It's okay, you were just tired." His tone was casual, but I could hear how hard he was trying to force it.

"No I wasn't - I was being a complete dick, and I need to apologize. I always do this, and this time, I am not going to let myself ruin another relationship. I have a lot of issues, and trust is one of them. My entire life, I have never had anyone truly love me just for me...I have been used, and abused, and it has seriously messed me up."

"It's really okay Gerard." Frank interrupted, but I didn't want to stop there.

"But it's not, and I am trying to make it right. When I saw you with Brendon...all my insecurities flared up, and that's why I started shoving you away. I am terrified that if you return to Heaven, that you will realize that you can do so much better than me. No matter how much I love you, I will always be a demon, and that will never be good enough for you. At first, I thought I was just jealous of yours and Brendon's relationship, but then I realized it wasn't who he was to you, but what he was...what you are." Frank tried to say something, but I was on a roll now, so I barreled onward.

"God - I wish that I was an angel so I would be worthy of you. You deserve someone that can stand proudly by your side, and lift you up instead of dragging you down. I hate the fact that I have made your brethren turn against you, they believe that you are a bad person because of what I am. I would do anything to change that, but I can't. I just wanted you to know that if I could, I would -" Frank silenced my rambling by pressing his lips against mine in a forceful kiss.

"Is that really why you have been acting so off?" Frank asked me when we finally pulled apart.

"Mhmm...I know I have treated you terribly, but I seem to shut down when I am hurting or afraid, and I am trying not to do that with you. I just can't seem to wrap my mind around why you love me. You had the whole world, and you threw it away for a worthless demon like me."

"God Gerard - if only you could see yourself the way I do. If it takes me the rest of my life, I will prove to you how much I need you...starting now." With those words, Frank pushed me up against the closest wall and began to ravage my mouth with a passionate kiss. I lost myself completely in his touch, letting him drive the last dredges of my doubts into the corner of my mind.

***Annd here comes the smut***

Frank's tongue slipped into my mouth, and I let out a moan while wrapping my arms around his neck. This is exactly what I needed right now, Frank's kisses made it impossible to think about anything else besides the amazing sensations he made me feel.

The kiss was heavy, and hot, but fuck - I needed more. I was impossibly hard already, and when Frank's leg slid between my own, I grinded myself shameless against him while his tongue continued to plunder my mouth. His hands had found my waist, and he pulled me even closer to him as I groaned loudly.

"Bedroom..." Frank gasped out before grabbing my hand and dragging me upstairs.

We busted into the first door we reached, and luckily we didn't pick the same room as Mikey. Frank shoved me back down onto the bed before reattaching his mouth to mine, and I lost myself in his kiss. Eventually, Frank's lips left mine and began to trail down my neck, nipping and biting the entire way. I clutched his shoulders tightly as soft moans fell from my mouth.

"Frank - I need you..." I was cut off by Frank palming me through my jeans, and I swore my heart was going to explode from the sensations. I was more turned on than I had ever been in my entire life, and Frank had barely touched me.

"Ahh..." I gasped as he tugged my zipper down while he continued to lavish my neck with his tongue.

His hand slipped into my boxers and began to move up and down my swollen cock at an agonizingly slow pace. My head fell back against the dusty mattresses and I clutched the sheets with both hands.

"O-oh my god..." I hissed as Frank removed my jeans completely before returning to the area of my body which ached for him the most. I wanted him so badly, it physically hurt.

"Frank...please."

I didn't know what I was begging for, but when Frank lowered his head down to the tip of my cock, I almost cried at the intense feeling of his hot mouth swallowing around me. His hands pressed down onto my hips as they bucked upwards, trying to sink deeper into his wet heat.

He stared up at me with lust filled eyes as he took even more of me into his mouth, and a burning pool of pleasure began to form in my belly. He pulled up slowly, using his tongue to massage my head as obscenities poured from my lips.

"How does that feel?" he asked in a broken voice once he had pulled off completely.

"So fucking good..." I gritted out as he began to use his hand again. My back jacked up off the bed and I hissed loudly.

"God - you are beautiful." Frank purred, but before I could answer, his mouth was wrapped around me once again, and it was all I could do not to scream in ecstasy.

"Oh!" I gasped out as I felt an invasive pressure that quickly turned to ecstasy. I moaned loudly as Frank pushed his finger even deeper inside me, and my toes began to curl from the pleasure.

"Don't stop..." I whispered, because my voice was failing me as his fingers continued to move inside me, brushing my prostate just enough to drive me crazy.

I couldn't control myself any longer, and I began to thrust into his mouth as he continued to fuck me with his fingers. I whined desperately, and he responded by moving faster, knowing I needed more. I became completely undone under his tender ministrations, my body was strung so tightly, I knew I was going to break at any moment.

When Frank moaned around my dick, the fire in my belly reached an unbearable height, and I came down his throat without warning. He rode out my orgasm with me, not stopping until my shaking had ceased and I had collapsed limply onto the bed. He kneeled on the mattress with his erect dick in his hand, and as I watched he began to stroke himself, still to fuzzy from my recent orgasm to move.

"Do you see what you do to me Gee?" he groaned as his head fell back, and I couldn't resist the temptation of his tattooed neck. I began to suckle the scorpion eagerly, and his hand moved even faster.

"I can't get enough of you...oh fuck...I need you." I dropped to my knees and removed his hands out of the way before taking his rigid dick as deep as I could.

"Fuck Gerard - I'm not gonna last long..." He began to thrust into my mouth, and I let him, lavishing the underside of his cock with my tongue as he grabbed my hair for better leverage.

"Ahh..." Frank hissed as he began to spill into my mouth, and I swallowed it all eagerly. Watching him come undone above me was almost enough to get me hard all over again. He gathered me in his arms before falling onto the bed and curling up against my chest.

***No more smut***

"I love you..." he whispered in my ear, and I hummed in contentment.

"Seriously Gerard, I mean it. I will always love you...no matter what happens. I won't let you drive me away."

"I love you too Frankie...I always will"

We fell asleep in each other's arms, and for once, I was completely content.

So this chapter was super short, but it was smutty, so that makes up for it right?

I was kind of drunk while writing this (I always seem to end up writing smut when I drink lol) so I am sure it has a million mistakes, but I will go back and edit those when I am more sober lol.

Omg this story has 4k reads...*deaded*

I am dedicating this to Frozenheartedkiller because you binge read my story and I am so glad you are enjoying this.

Until next time :)

<3 star