hapter 2 - (yes I did name this chapter hapter to see the comments ssh don't tell nobody)

WARNING- I just reread this chapter and I kind of went mad in the middle so you have been warned (my filter fell off so)

Drarry- I ship them. A lot. It's probably because I delete all the parts of the books where they hate each other from my brain, and most fanfictions can explain it away. They would probably never work in real life as they have vastly different views and Draco's  a Slytherin and a former death eater but i ship them.

Dramione- I know that you could say that this is really similar to drarry but this ship is just yuck. The relationship would be really toxic and abusive and the only way it would work would be if

1. Ron gets Nargles and cheats on Hermione with a cardboard cutout or smth.

2. A law is introduced which means that muggleborns have to marry purebloods and it's based on intelligence and
             Sub- point 1. Ron is a pureblood (HELP! Formatting :(
                                  2. Draco is actually
                                       only as clever as              Harry and although I love the headcanons he was only good at potions because snap liked him (lol another subpoint snip's not actually his godfather that's a bit of fanon (that i love (wait bracket in a bracket? ( help i had no sleep last night))(ahem)) but it's still fanon so hermione would probably end up with luna (yes I did just jump aboard that ship with all my heart after writing that one sentence and yes I am going to frantically search for lunione fics after this)

3. I've forgotten my point I think it's best we move on

Lunione- i LOVE this pairing and i will go down with it because they are perfect for each other and WHYY did I not reread this before I published it.

Right. Um.

Dron? - Ew Hermione is his one and only true love and Romione is literally the only canon ship I ship so no. The only dron fic I ever read (BIG MISTAKE) was an angst fic on AO3 and some of it still haunts me to this day.

Romione- YAAS ROMIONE 4EVA GURL

Anything involving snipe: right essay mode I refuse to spell his name right he doesn't deserve it.

So I really don't like Snop. I still don't really understand why harry forgave him and named his child after him?? Like wtf harry this is the man who bullied you for six years and physically threw you against the wall multiple times

I'm deliberately leaving a paragraph here to see the comments above, but here's a bunch of screenshots of what I'm talking about by someone who wrote it a lot better than me.

(From screenrant)

Also guys these were the reccomended results when I was searching this up

??????? You better have an explanation for this.

-/-/-/-
My essay mode is trash

Hinny- In my opinion they would have been a thing for a few months but fallen apart after the war (when drarry happened obvs). It was a celebrity crush and although they would fit together we know that Harry is awful at relationships (and he hasn't had any practice since Cho) so he would probably be the one to mess something up and Ginny would dump him (remember how quickly she went through boyfriends in harrys fifth year?) so yeah

Wait! I ship more people! This chapter of craziness is nowhere near from over!

Linny - Yep. I kind of ship them half the time (has anyone got any good fic recs?)

George/Angelina: I personally prefer George to Fred as he seems calmer and people seem to overlook him a lot aaand I now have another idea for a fic about survivors guilt and George meeting Angelina but TANGENT wait another tangent did you know that tangent is also another name for a line that goes past a circle which is where the word came from?

Sorry. I have a tendancy to spout entirely unrelated information at regular intervals.

Wofstarr- yes yes yes yes yes they live together for around half of OotP, and harry gets presents from 'molly and arthur' and 'lupin and sirius' aand 'acting like an old married couple' GUYS SNEEP SHIPS THEM.

I think that Lupin is probably bi (lol tangents harry is def bi as well)

Here are the films renamed:

Harry Potter and the year he had a crush on Charlie Weasley

Harry Potter and the year he had a crush on Tom Riddle

Harry Potter and the year he realised he liked guys as well

Harry Potter and the year he had a crush on Cedric Diggory and Cho Chang and Bill Weasley

Harry Potter and the year he tried to squash the bi

Harry Potter and the year he had an obsessive crush on Draco Malfoy

Harry Potter is a Third Wheel Pt 1

Harry Potter is a Third Wheel Pt 2

We're just going to stop here before they take me to the asylum....

The funny thing about this is that I just wrote 1000 words in 20min and wish I could do this with my main book but I'm writing this instead (shut up this is quality content).

- charlie
(why am I thinking about publishing this?)